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Monday, September 6, 2010

Concentrate Girls Concentrate

Brought over from 8-27-10

Good morning. This is me. We’re up to Thursday. I came in a little late today. I had woken up about 4-4:30 am, made coffee, etc, but then we fell back to bed and didn’t wake up until 6:30 am. Rich was getting up at the same time. I wrote a sister a note that I’d be in before 9 am and I was. She met me at the door – Rosa must have been on the phone. Nothing was really said. I’m appreciative for that. Sr. has really mellowed out over the years and for the most part I try not coming in so late I have to leave a note.

Yesterday seemed to go ok, but we had some adjustment problems. We were winding down the day and had stopped to think of the abuse a bit when we’d written out the statement from the autobiographies. We were also getting wound up thinking of mother things and in not having access to Dr. Marvin. We’d written him several times a day and he didn’t respond back. On the other hand, my mother did send a note. She had just questioned if we sent her something she was looking for. We had sent her 3 things over the week and wasn’t sure what else she needed so we just sent those 3 things again. I haven’t heard back from where she has left off.

I’m a little edgy having to wait for approval from my mother. I think it might have been a bad deal. Maybe we should have asked for an unconditional. There are parts that are happy she’s reading our material and then other parts who are jittering on the edge of it.

After we got home, we ate some chicken that was in the fridge and then soon after Rich got home. I think he was set out to play poker or something … we watched him and semi-napped until about 6 pm and then he got up to eat and we figured we had to do something. Rich was saying all along we should go and sew, but it’s like sewing was never invented. We don’t feel tied to it. I had that same deskilled feeling when we showed Maury the room the day before. It was like what happens in here?

Rich says that if we just go into the room and sit down it will come back to us, but we’re focused on writing now and other multiples and didn’t have the concentration to sit down like that. So, what we did do was to go to the Internet and download a book. Rich isn’t going to be happy, but it was just under $5 so we didn’t figure that was so much. I think he said we had about $100 in the account, but I think we have a $100 that’s come up for a license for the car, but then we can’t pay that even if we had the money until we get the emissions tested.

Ok, we’re back … that was a terrible time. We were talking to Rich and stuff came up on the new car and other types of stuff like that, but pretty much the new car. He wants to lease one at less money than we’re paying right now. We are interested in the Honda Insight, but are not sure we would fit in it, so we’re going to stop somewhere this evening after Dr. Marvin’s to see what it fits like. We were quoted $18,000 for a 2010. This would mean though our car is only about $12400 and we have about $17,400 to pay off so we’d be buying the $18,000 for $23,000. Let’s see then $21,000 MSRP, 25,000 $18,000 + 6,000 owed on old car. Down payment $500 7% usage tax 60 lease months @ 2.9 and car valued at $8000 at end of 5 years … that be like depreciation fee of $275, lease fee $39. Monthly payment $315, usage tax $22 Total monthly payment $335 instead $460 That be like saving $125 per month, plus gas mileage saved … about $60 a month in gas … that would be like a savings of $185, Ok, so then say between $150 and $200. Ok, then we could do that idea.

Hmm, still don’t know if at my weight we could fit in an insight. Hmm, we just talked to someone at Rich’s Honda place. I’m afraid we’ve got 3 different sales people involved. This guy said he was a sales manager so there was no conflict of interest in talking to Rich’s sales person. My person was just briefly over the phone and we’d told him Rich was talking to someone else, but the guy had said we could get something for $18,400. The positive thing was that he said they are usually able to work something out with owing more for the car than its loan amount and most importantly he said he drives an Insight and he’s 6’2 and 280 pounds. I don’t know if that means that he was telling the truth or lying. Man car dealers really have a bad reputation. It gives me hope though that something might be done … the key is that we have to be saving money in doing it.

I’m not sure if we could get the 2010 model I think the 2011 comes out next month. I would like to get a brand new car rather than a used one this time. We would have to go on Rich’s credit rating though, but he’s offered that part. He just wants me to get a lower monthly payment. Just gotta sit in one and then let Rich do the negotiating. I’m sure he could get me in a better deal. I would really appreciate his help. Better let it go.

I’ve placed calls with my mother and CS this morning too. I put a message on my mother’s to get an update and to find out whether I’d answered the questions she had on an email yesterday. It was right about the time I was leaving so I didn’t pay too much attention to it at the time. Still don’t know how much she’s reading emails … she knows that I’m in contact with her now so she should be checking at least once a day.

As to CS call that was kinda hard. She seemed down and distant. I think they are planning on sending her home, but she’s sending out mixed messages. She said she’s like ready, but then she says that when she used the bathroom – once that she almost passed out … I’m not too keen on the meaning of that because we don’t know if it’s psycho or medical, but then she’s saying I’ll be alright, but then we said can’t you get someone to stop by at your home to make sure your ok, and she was like no in an angry definite voice like saying no way in hell. She said she didn’t want someone in her house … I felt like ok, if you are telling me your close to passing out, but you will not accept help, then that’s begging the question on her pushing to be back at the hospital.

I asked her why she didn’t answer her phone for 3 days. We finally got a hold of her on the hospital phone, she said that it’s a bad phone and she doesn’t always know if it’s turned on and that she had left it under her pillow. I can’t believe she’s been there without checking her phone for 3 days. She says that Mark is calling her “800 times a day.” So, we’re thinking she’s not picking up our calls.

I said don’t you think that would worry us? She said she could see our point, but that there was nothing she could do about it. Well that’s going over like a lead anchor.

She also said she called me last night, but there was no call. It sounded like the phone accidentally rang us 3 days ago, because there were just sounds on the recorder, but our system would have a message if someone had called. I’m not feeling real trustworthy over this situation. She’s definitely unhappy … I think this is the point though that we back off because she’s even angrier when she’s not getting her way. She had said that the fibroid was too inflamed for the doctors to consider surgery, but it sounded like she’d pressed them for that. They said touch back with us in a month.

Then she was frustrated because her pain doctor was on vacation and she didn’t think the one covering him was good enough or had bothered to check her proper.

Apparently, he’d called her doctor, but did not talk to her directly. She was talking about getting home and having to come back and take another 1 ½ to get there without being able to control pain. She’s not so sure they are giving her much extra at home.

She did say that her DIL was taking Macy for a day so that was good, but she’s going to be back soon after. I think we’re going to have to stay away a bit until she regulates herself. I have a hard time as you might know with all the medical and this doesn’t seem to be going anywhere well. Both Rich and Sr. have warned me not to get caught up in becoming her nurse … especially since we don’t receive this so good, it would just leave me angry and defenseless. I really do want to be a good sister, but it’s a roller coaster. I was wondering too if they’ve been giving her morphine if she’s built up a level of it where she’s thinking she needs more in an addictive manner. Surely they must check for things like that though. It does seem like she’s doing a lot to get more. I feel bad that all this is going on in her life, but I have to do the boundary thing and think this is what she’s setting up, it doesn’t have to be something we buy into.

So, that puts us back to thinking out the publishing deal. I would like to call Natalie in advance, but I don’t think that’s the best decision. We still don’t have my mother’s response so we might be building ourselves up for nothing. It’s a bad precedent that she needs to read it before making a decision. I think we’ve covered this before. She shouldn’t be the one to make a decision as to the books sell ability. She can add her opinion, but it’s coming out in my mind that it is something she wants emotionally to have more control over. To do that we had to give some of our control away and I think this is what’s been making us feel moody over the last couple of days. That and there are just too many things up in the air and that drives us buggy.

PLUS … we haven’t talked to Dr. Marvin yet. I figured I put us out there in good faith … and I’m not feeling the return respect - still speaking of my mother here. I know part of this too though is that we’re just not patient people. I’m trying to be. Natalie had said she’d call back in a week and I told her we’d be able to let her know if we could do anything. We had also sent her that day a copy of the snippets from the various chapters. She said she would need about a week to read them. I know that if we are too jumpy and call before the expected time that would be our reputation for not being patient … better if we were cooler here. Just got to get to the point we’re at Dr. Marvin’s tonight

Still that’s 4 hours away. I know that we have a staff meeting in 40 minutes. That ought to help. I’m planning on teaching them about doing the blogs on the Internet as a means of communication on the web or in communicating with others.

It’s very much like doing a email account for yourself. It’s the basic of having a presence. And, if they didn’t have one for themselves, they should be considering one for their group or individuals in the group. For safety they can be marked as private. Just we need to set up something where they are getting something off the computer.

I might be able to use Robyn for assistance. She will get the concept right away if she hasn’t already used it. Hmm, I think it would be cool to do something with the movies too. Maybe we could try recording something and then put it with a movie so when we can get the computer up to the screen they could play it for the clients.

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