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Dissociative Identity Disorder Blog

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Monday, September 6, 2010

Lots of Projects left fo finish

Brought over from 8-24-10

Good morning. This is about where we started today …

CS is still at the hospital. It is one week now. They have ruled out several things. We know now ...she doesn’t have MS and we know she didn’t have a stroke. She is having trouble with her Fibromyalgia flaring up and two disks need to be repaired, one in her neck and the other in her lower back. I don’t think they’ve decided to fix the disks yet, because they are hoping for some other things first like that the fibro calms down. CS says that to walk on her feet feels like walking on coals and that they are on fire. She is still in a lot of pain and she says that she hasn’t gone home yet because the doctor’s want that normalized a bit though they are telling her that pain is going to be one of her conditions throughout life. It seems she’s aggravated her condition … my understanding is that she was going to an extreme with the church activities helping Mark. I’ve heard her say that she’s put in over 4 hours at one day in vacuuming. That was too much of an extreme. Part of helping the disorder is trying to take down the stress.

Last night when we talked to her she was fairly uncomfortable. She was saying that she is coming in and out of sleep. She says when she sleeps she doesn’t feel the pain so I think that’s what she’s trying to do, but sometimes she can only sleep for 15-20 minutes and then she is up again. Some of that might have to do with general hospital routines. At home she has the dogs to be concerned with because of them jumping at her or on her. My understanding is that she’s using a commode because she says it’s too difficult for her to walk to the bathroom. CS is also having difficulty because of a lack of Vitamin D and B12 and they say that might have something to do with her past gastric surgery. People who’ve gone through Gastric Bypass have to take extra vitamins because they can’t get enough in their food. CS says she hasn’t been hungry since she’s been at the hospital. I don’t know if that is not aggravating her system.

CS has also said that she’s on medicine that is supposed to be stronger than her normal morphine. I think she’s not seeing her normal pain doctor although he might come in today. She’s been assigned a regular doctor at the hospital and she’s concerned he doesn’t know her entire background. So that’s about it on the medical for now. CS has her cell phone now, but she is having difficulty reading. She says she can’t see well enough to make phone calls. She does seem to be appreciating getting the phone calls. If she doesn’t answer then I give it some time and call again in a bit. She can’t see Facebook either, though she says she can hear podcasts. Listening is better. For those that know her personally, If you would like, it be great if you could give her a call … I’m sure she’d appreciate the change of pace from her regular day.

I wish I could say something else that made sense for the situation. I might try to go up this weekend. She might by then be out of the hospital, but I don’t know how she is going to do the regular care part and I don’t want her to depend on me being up there because of work I can’t stay more than the weekend. We’re going to talk to her today and see if she has access to a social worker who can have someone stop at her house for out of hospital care. CS has accustomed herself to a high level of staff attention and she might fear not having those extra people around. I’m pretty sure I’m causing her stress to be thinking of getting out of the hospital, but I know that they just don’t keep people in as long as they used to. Each day we need to figure out again whether they keep her longer or make plans to go home. She didn’t know if she was going home Sunday or Monday. It’s kinda tense.

Anything else is like just please keep her in your prayers.

So, then back again … and so now the question would be where we go from here. It’s now about 6:15 am and we’ve just gotten back from our heroic efforts to waking up sleeping beauty. God Bless’m! We seem to have been playing a little game with odd and even numbers. I massaged him from 5:58 to 6:00 am, and then said EVEN NUMBER! But, then he didn’t respond, so we went another 5 minutes and said EVEN NUMBER! He grumbled and groaned a bit, but by then it was 6:08 am, so he got to sleep until 6:10 another EVEN NUMBER! Yah yah … that’s about the way things go – he’s such a fuzzy bunny!

So … other than that … I’ve not got too much on our minds this morning. It seems as if most the morning has gone to updating the CS situation. We sent the note to Janet and Jean, then to Emily and Linda, then to the Facebook people and so forth. We also included Mark and Nathan to assure them of what’s happening as to normal communications. I want to make sure everyone is on the same page and that no one knows anything that someone else doesn’t know or has expressed.

So, as to how else goes? I’m in a bit of a fog. I know I have about a half hour left, but I’m not sure what I want to spend my time writing about. Our brain is in a bit of a fog. I know you have heard this before. In the background … we’re eating a small of Honey Nuts Cheerios. Ok, now then I suppose you are saying … aha … she’s getting to the good stuff. Well, then and that there’s so much more of life, but actually sometimes it’s just the essence of what’s happening or the process as we think it – just that there’s not much direction.

Ok, then … and what have you. So, you are wondering where are we, and when does she gets to the good stuff. Hmm, there’s more?

So, what is it that gives us direction to think and write in the morning? I will say as a bit of a summary, that we’ve been going over things in writing as to how things are going in life in general. I think we last left off in

Hmm, thinking thinking … we were thinking about what? Where are my loops and ties getting back to where we last left life off?

I think there was something about posts or reading something. Hmm, wait something is coming to me. I think we were doing something about something. Where are my markers? Usually, we leave something of a writing trail somewhere to figure out what we were thinking about and where to go from there. Just gotta think … where were we just communicating other than the updates to CS? AHA! Got something!

I think from what we see here of emails sent back and forth to ourselves is that we’ve been working on a book list. We’ve gotten into thinking which books are written by multiples or people with dissociative identity disorder. In general, there were 47 books that came to us using the general keywords, Dissociative Identity Disorder or Multiple Personalities. I’m think it is a fairly comprehensive list of books. We went through various stages - looking at the paper trail now … there is a longer expression of the books in that we copy/pasted product descriptions on the words that came up from our searches. We collected information on the Book, Author, Date published and cost. Then we did the exact descriptions just noted, and then we added the general set of numbers including page numbers, publisher, language, ISBN, Product dimension, shipping weight, average customer reviews and Amazon bestseller’s Ranks. It looked something like this …

1. Sybil by Flora Rhea Schreiber Apr 1 2009 $9.99
More amazing than any work of fiction, yet true in every word, it swept to the top of the bestseller lists and riveted the consciousness of the world. As an Emmy Award-winning film starring Sally Field, it captured the home screens of an entire nation and has endured as the most electrifying TV movie ever made. It's the story of a survivor of terrifying childhood abuse, victim of sudden and mystifying blackouts, and the first case of multiple personality ever to be psychoanalyzed.

You're about to meet Sybil-and the sixteen selves to whom she played host, both women and men, each with a different personality, speech pattern, and even personal appearance. You'll experience the strangeness and fascination of one woman's rare affliction-and travel with her on her long, ultimately triumphant journey back to wholeness.

• Mass Market Paperback: 512 pages
• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (April 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446550124
• ISBN-13: 978-0446550123
• Product Dimensions: 7.4 x 4.2 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars (96 customer reviews)
• Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #24,689 in Books

Then we did the same thing for all 47 books. Next we ordered the book by placing in order the sections by Amazon Bestsellers Rank … this book on Sybil was the most popular and the 47th book was like 8 million some numbers down the line.
We then did some did some stats, such as averages for each of the months that the books were written, so it looks like this …

8/09 – 8/10 $15.61 – 281 (19)
$14.95 – 242 (4/2010) 22
$11.04 – 156 (1/2010) 7
$19.18 – 334 (1/2010) 23
$4.90 – 312 (9/2009) 2
$28.00 – 362 (8/2009) 42

8/08 – 7/09 $17.26 – 274 (20)
$16.98 – 300 (5/2009) 41
$9.99 – 512 (4/2009) (1973) 1
$13.45 – 164 (4/2009) 10
$19.98 – 328 (4/2009) 36
$10.17 – 256 (1/2009) 4
$32.99 – 84 (10/2008) 26

8/07 – 7/08 $22.95 – 374 (6)
$22.95 – 375 (8/2007) 6

8/06 – 7/07 $22.79 – 325 (28)
$22.45 – 352 (7/2007) 19
$18.96 – 336 (6/2007) 30
$26.95 – 286 (2/2007) 34

8/05 – 7/06 $16.29 – 304 (9)
$16.29 – 304 (9/2005) 9

8/04 – 7/05 $12.99 – 240 38
$12.99 – 109 (6/2005) 37
NA – 370 (2005) 38

8/03 – 7/04 $17.95 – 129 (24)
$17.95 – 129 (1/2004) 24

8/02 – 7/03 $20.47 – 281 (40)
$20.99 – 394 (2003) 47
$19.95 – 168 (10/2002) 32

8/01 – 7/02 $13.32 – 318 (11)
$15.75 – 236 (4/2002) 18
$10.88 – 400 (2/2002) 3

8/00 – 7/01

8/95 – 7/00 $22.69 – 256 (25)
$6.99 – 368 (11/1999) 8
$27.97 – 159 (3/1999) 35
NA - 260 (1999) 43
$23.95 – 271 (8/1998) 45
$93.92 – 200 (5/1998) 46
$39.99 – 416 (6/1997) 14
$16.95 – 256 (3/1997) 12
$11.95 – 256 (10/1996) 15
$11.99 – 232 (8/1996) 31
$18.40 – 142 (11/1995) 17

8/90 – 7/95 $27.77 – 286 (27)
$15.00 – 53 (5/1995) 44
$93.58 – 396 (2/1995) 13
$23.43- 448 (1995) 40
$41.90 – 213 (2/1994) 27
$19.80 – 338 (6/1993) 23
$4.60 – 320 (2/1993) 39
$22.41 – 268 (11/1992) 5
$1.45 – 250 (9/1990) 21

8/85 – 7/90 $3.38 – 150 (21)
$2.35 – 303 (10/1989) 25
$5.78 – 299 (9/1989) 11
$2.00 – (1/1988) 28

8/80 – 7/85

8/75 – 7/80 $2.21 – 320 (26)
$3.06 – 211 (8/1978) 33
$2.43 – 461 (6/1977) 16
$1.15 – 289 (1977) 29

8/70 – 7/75

The numbers across the date entries are averages for that time period’s numbers. It goes cost of book, number of pages, date published and which order of popularity it was.

We also did pulled together a comprehensive list according just to popularity and that included again cost, number of pages, and date published. The next set of information is already posted on the last set of blog entries. By order of Months/years book was published newest to oldest we gave some of the above information and then a short summary of the book according to the product information from Amazon. So it looks like this.

(12th place) Becoming One: A Story of Triumph Over Multiple Personality Disorder by Sara E. Olson Mar 1997 $16.95 – Through a process of courage, generosity, and providing of insights, the dynamics of a troubled family in a therapeutic process is printed as a first person account of reconciliation between sisters as one sister accounts for her fragmentation due to the terror and assault both she and her estranged sister experienced

So, then with that done we decided that we needed one summary with information that was even briefer … all of it in line with helping us think through what has been written by multiples explaining their own story in a autobiographical or memoir manner. So, then that looked like this …

1. $9.99 – 512 (4/2009 & 1977) First multiple case, psychoanalysis, journey to wholeness, best-seller/televised
2. $4.90 – 312 (9/2009) Angelic spirit guides, journey, societal rejection of abuse
3. $10.88 – 400 (2/2002) Business woman has clusters of 80 Parts, psychiatrist, sensationalized, convincing
4. $10.17 – 256 (1/2009) Football running back, faith/spirit, insight and control, integral life role
5. $22.41 – 268 (11/1992) Practical challenges & skill building, clinician, reintegration, insight & structure

Everything we did we did 1 – 47 in either popularity or date published order. This last section was on popularity.

And, then yesterday we’d brought home a copy of all three of these things … 1) long description, 2) short description, and 3) tiny description and then as you know of our editing or absorbing manner, we read the information over and over again trying to make some sense of it through the different parts. It will be another step in matching multiples to the stories. There are a lot of names to remember. Now today then … what we are going to try doing is to make a spreadsheet so we can group similar things together like which authors have a psychologist, which ones are of religious orientation, which ones stress integration and the like. It’s like our own little research project.

One of my ideas is that we’d like to figure out by popularity or date printed what the trends are. Like one of the things we notice is the zealot religious or cult books are toward the bottom, or that most multiples are trying to add to a resource of insight, hope, inspiration, courage and so forth. I realize that this is pretty much just the table discussion and that in the long run I should be reading their books. I talked to Rich about this last night and he’s pretty sure that I’m going to need ordering books from the library opposed to buying them.

Rich was very helpful last night in a discussion of the topic as to who my “competition” may be in that he listened patiently as we gave him the short discussion. We had asked him to help us summarize or generalize. That was very useful in opening a dialogue, and then in general we talked about the telling of our story and basically what happens when you write about other people such as Rich himself, Sr. Theresa at work, or of people who were abusive or family related.

I’ve got to go to work now, but we’ll for sure be doing more like this. By today we figure that my mother and John will receive the book if they haven’t got it already. We’ve been keeping Dr. Marvin abreast through emails, but we still have a couple of days before we can talk. This whole new idea of publishing has only really come about since Natalie’s call on Friday … so everything is on the new pile. I know … everything we do seems to be in excess. Just there’s a lot of excitement in the air!

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