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Dissociative Identity Disorder Blog

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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Still trying to expedite publishing

Hi … It’s me. I think it’s about time we did some writing. We’ve been just doing this or that all morning and it is now 12:30 pm. The latest thing that’s been happening is that on Monday we sent in our revised edition to the story and it is for the present out of our hands. It included 365 pages of writing AND foreword.

I was happy to let it go. I can find many mistakes in it no matter how many times we go through it, but I have to let it be to stand on its own two feet.

I was just reminded that we hadn’t looked at the horoscope for a bit. I’m sure Dr. Marvin is shaking in his pants … oh why oh why am I being sideswiped by an astrologer? Look at all those years of doctor training going down the drain.

Hehehe … hmm, better look at his horoscope too. Hmm, his sign has something to do about money making the world go round. I know that he gets money from seeing me … so after that I’m obviously not involved. It’s been a long time since I forgot my parking struggles to pay the attendant. Good Ann!

Hmm, Rich’s is saying he has more influence over someone than he thinks. That could be me. He’s got a lot of influence there. Last night he said … Woman! My feet need rubbing. Well not exactly like that, but it turned out to be my pleasure anyway. Ok ok … no one wants to hear about that except maybe the king of our castle. We talked to him about not taking us for granted, but he says he never takes us for granted, but if I could take care of his feet he’d be so happy. Well yes, we want to make him happy … and then there you go, we’re massaging him again.

Damn logic!

Hmm, good logic! He just left and we figured he’d hide those pretzels in his desk AND he did! Ahh it all comes full circle.

Ok, on to our “scope.” It says it’s a good time to liberate ourselves from fear, free ourselves from self-doubt, and claim your independence from regret. The more erosion you experience in life – and recently you have endured quite a bit of it – the more you will become whole. Although that may sound counter-intuitive, it is your reality. Erosion is not a bad thing. Think about the Grand Canyon. It represents thousands of years of erosion, of the wearing away of layers. What is left is a beautiful, powerful, mystical, magical thing.

We then had to look up erosion and it has something to do with diminishing or destroying by degrees or to rub or scrape away. Maybe then erosion was talking about the first things such as fear, self-doubt and regret. And, then that seems to be wrapped around abuse. I feel I’m afraid because of abuse, it has caused me to self-doubt and I’ve felt bad because I was enduring it while others did not have to. I’m not sure about the part where it says the more erosion you experience the more whole you become. Maybe because you have to take some kind of mental journey in getting from one place to another, where some others not having problems get soothed within the comfort of staying at home. Were back to the analogy of the onion where layers are being stripped away like the calloused old skin. And, then maybe the beautiful, powerful, mystical and magical is like the princess hiding underneath the frog.

Thinking here maybe Rich is right and we’re going to have to start being diet conscious again.

Today we looked at some of the multiples’ blogs. We haven’t done that for a while. We were taken back by how many are having problems especially between their feelings and thoughts and getting to talk to someone about that. Whoops that point was smeared. I was checking for an email I had gotten from Dr. Woollcott last week and we found a very short one for Carolyn. She said that she is going to look over what we gave her and that I was to please be taking some rest. We let her know that we were the anxious type and wanted to know everything. I suppose it was a bit over the top asking if she had shoe laces, was having a bad hair day, or was going to see something at the movies. *Sigh*

It’s hard to be a world famous author.

*Giggling* Rich has been teasing me about this now for the last several weeks. We need to ask questions such as do world famous authors get coffee for their boyfriend. And he’s not helping by saying stuff like world famous authors all go to bed on time. Like They do??

There we just sent Dr. Marvin another note. Then we figured we were being pretty pesky, but decided to ask him if we could have a red tricycle for Christmas too. You never know with him. Maybe, maybe! We both had a good laugh last week thinking how much money I would owe him if I were paying him to read the book. I think that must be good psychiatry humor. It doesn’t seem to me that we’re having very serious thoughts here. Did we mention the thing with Maury and his girl friend?

We had tried talking to a few people yesterday about the book. We feel that’s all we want to deal with. When we asked Maury to read the “about” sections, he said he would later after he had gotten home. So about 10:30 pm when we were going to bed we checked and it turned out he and Nikki wrote this whole 6-7 comment edit.

Whoosh! I never knew he had it in him - Hehehe maybe that came more from Nikki.

Some of the things I already knew would have to get changed, but others it was just nice to get another perspective. We made all the changes this morning.

We talked for a few moments on the phone today. I am trying to let the family know that this thing is coming, and I’m not sure if they know how they are going to handle whatever it might be. I’m thinking that they might be excited for us – Joe more than Maury. I think Maury is more conscious about me messing things up. It was uncomfortable at first to be corrected in the thing you are supposed to be good at, but I couldn’t deny them that their criticisms were not helpful. They really were nice, just unexpected. I was worried more about the contents, not the sentence structure. But, that is the thing about kids, you just never know.

Joe was funny in a different way. He takes the whole thing as water off a ducks back. He’s like ok bring it on. We wrote Thom a separate letter giving him the information about the two “about” sections. Most likely if we get anything back, it will be like ok, Mom you don’t have to send these any more. But, then for another period of time, we will know how he stands. This year’s Christmas gifts are going to be a copy of the book. Well, maybe not, because we’ll have given it out by then, but at least we would have an excuse to put a copy in his hand.

*sigh* Thom’s are tough.

Yeeks that was a rocky idea – let’s do something perhaps a little better for us. I’m supposed to be free and independent of fear, self-doubt and regret. Whether the book sells or not, probably won’t change much the relationship we have with the kids.

Yeeks … we shouldn’t have asked. Carolyn just wrote a note and said to cut it in half. Lordy!

About the Author

Ann M. Garvey, the author, was born in 1959 and raised in Minnesota. Ms. Garvey is a multiple with 20 personalities, 9 of which had developed before 4 years of age due to severe trauma including sexual abuse and the remaining 11 personalities had developed between 5 and 17 due to the continuation and unpredictability of physical and emotional abuse.

In adulthood, Ms. Garvey moves to the Chicago area and continues to improve her life through a steady relationship with “a special male friend,” being the mother of three sons, Macadam 22, Tanner, 21, and Jacob 19, and carrying on her most prominent relationships between her boss, Sr. Tess, an older nun in the cash poor field of social services, and her young psychiatrist, the fabulous Dr. M.

Ms. Garvey has worked as a professional in the field of adults with intellectual difficulties for the last 11 years. Other than writing and reading, Ms. Garvey and her sister have taken over their Grandmother’s role and love of quilting

About the Book

Ann M. Garvey, the author, writes a daily non-traumatizing journal about her day to day world as someone with multiplicity. The story takes place between August, 2003 and August, 2004 as Ms. Garvey again restarts her full-time work responsibilities after a two-month hospitalization for depression and acting out suicide idealizations.

Journalism/blogging in an online community becomes an imaginative outcome in communicating with external others and acting as a reference point for her many selves. Ms. Garvey’s world is not about integration; it is about communication, trust and understanding.

Life isn’t always smooth, but runs effectively with effort. Ms. Garvey encourages you to join her in an ongoing journey of Ann’s Multiple World of Personality, Regular No Cream No Sugar.

Back, back. This is the version that we sent her. I sure hope she doesn’t have us keep doing it. That would be like no fun! Oh good … so far so good. I’m a little worried about Dr. Marvin. I’m hoping that he’s going to write back before we leave, though it would really not matter much because much wouldn’t get done the rest of the day. I will send him the shorten cover

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