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Sunday, October 3, 2010

Been a nice drawley morning

Good morning. Yesterday, we wrote in the morning, and then we edited the second book for 5-6 hours, and then we rested for an hour and then sewed for about 4 hours. The writing took up the best of the morning. Part of the sewing time was finishing up the blacks 1 1/2” and 4” blocks for my “gorilla quilt,” and then I did all the cutting for the small colored 1 1/2” blocks for the picture within the gorilla.

As a reminder, the gorilla is like 7 shades of black and white/gold and then the colored is for an image of Mary and Jesus in the manger. It’s a strange concept, but something that somehow fell in my head to do. I set up my first colored rows – well half a row I decided to not put any more than 20 small blocks in a row at a time, so I don’t get mixed up on size distortion. But in general the colored squares are 40 across, and 32 up so in general about 1280 one inch squares in total to do now. It’s like working with Chiclets!

I’m looking forward to the day. I think we’re going to run it like yesterday where we balance the writing, editing, and sewing. I was a little too tired at the end of the day to read, but instead tucked myself in and fell asleep accomplished.

Rich called last night. He says he was in second place yesterday though no one is catching a lot of fish. I think he felt much more relaxed. He had had a good steak meal and was going off to play some cards. There might have been a beer finished, but after about 1 ½ Rich is pretty much done for the night. He’s a diet coke guy.

I started off by cleaning up here this morning, which meant walking around with a garbage bag and several trips to the dish washer. Maury and I might get together for lunch, I’m hoping he wants to grab a sandwich and eat in because I really can’t afford the trip to the restaurant. Rich left me with that $20 so I’ll use it to order a pizza tonight so there is something to eat when he gets in. At least, those were the instructions I was given ;) We don’t expect him home until about 9 pm because he was in Kentucky and it’s a long drive.

Hehehe ok, we cheated here, we borrowed what we’d written to our family so that you get the condensed version, but I figured it was a good concise image of our day yesterday. Hmm, so if that’s all done now and you know of my entire day, what else is there to write? Not sure, but you can bet because it’s a perfectly good Sunday with time on our hand that we will come up with something. It’s about 7 am and we’ve taken care of our correspondence for the day. I always have that option to write again, especially to CS and Linda, but we’re trying to make it something we do in the morning, and then let go of. Well, with the exception of the long series of notes to CS. In general though we like to have it done first thing and then let the rest of the day go by in what else has to get done.

As to CS … she wrote several times yesterday with the general conclusion she’d had a very good time with Emily and the twins doing the sewing. I give her credit for that, but I am feeling guarded because I am so frustrated with her for reasons mentioned before. I am still feeling manipulated and I question her feeling good when she wants, but otherwise falls back to the bed rest and TV. I know she says she’s not doing it as much as I think, but I’m guessing that she gets up long enough to do a few household things and then is back in bed. She might be up more than in the past, but I’m not so happy with all that. She said yesterday she had sewn one of the blocks that I’d cut out before. I think that she should have been able to do this all along. I question that she was just suddenly able to sew after the girls were there.

But, this might have more to do with our own negativity toward the situation. I’m pretty sure things are complex enough so that without Dr. Marvin I can’t really get a hold of the feelings of being manipulated. I think the main thing is that I don’t really trust her in her situation. I just don’t know what is going on. She’s not very upfront with the part of telling us other than things she wants us to know. I suppose this sounds confused, but I have the feeling that she talks about the things that set up her life to be the version she wants us to hear at the moment. Like setting up whether she is sick or not or able or not. It really just messes up my mind. Best thing I suppose now after I’ve given it this much thought is to just let it go for the day. I don’t have to let it become more of my day than I choose. Better to focus on things that I am working on. Like stated previously, we are going to balance the writing, editing, sewing, and possibly reading during the day. I might want to take a nap too because if Rich is coming in late, I will want to be up for him when he gets home. He says he’s going to be in about 9 pm, but usually it’s later than the time he’s estimated.

Hmm, maybe now if I could think of some thoughts from yesterday? I’m not sure if I thought of anything profound. The time spent writing seems to be a bit of a blur. I hope that we wrote of what a good time we had with the staff appreciation day. I loved taking the pictures and that and looking at them later was really a highlight. I also appreciated getting the time to talk to Sister. I get the general impression that in a personal situation where we are not talking about work, she is pretty guarded. It’s always a matter if I can progress a conversation more than a sentence or two. She will ask an immediate question, but she’s not very inquisitive after that. It’s almost as if we’re causing her pain to think things personally. I don’t know if it made a difference that Margarita was there. I think it was easier for sister to defer to Margarita for a conversation and I did enjoy her talking a few sentences about her nephews and their kids. She really appreciates her family and does well for them in thoughtful consideration.

I’m feeling very good about the sewing effort yesterday. I’m a little disappointed in that after 3-4 hours I get too tired to be continuing, but I figure part of that is learning to stop before I get tired, because I don’t want to recall afterward of how difficult things were. It’s probably best to stop after a certain block of time so that things don’t wear on you. I think that we will not be doing a podcast until we get our writing into the publisher for the first book. I didn’t see anything from Julie yesterday. I hope that she was editing, but I can’t take her time for granted. I don’t know what else there is to do, but wait patiently. I think it’s a better idea to hold up the forward momentum rather than go on without her. She knows that we are feeling eager to get things in, and I’m pretty sure she’s giving it as much time as she possibly can. I feel some guilt too in that I’m holding her to such a tight time schedule. She said on her wall that she had gazillion errands and that the better part of her time was to get the shirts and materials to make some homecoming shirts for her son and others. So, we’re thinking that maybe her time hasn’t gone as we might hope. But, I can’t take it away from her that her son is coming home soon and she’s had other obligations. Just have to be patient and think things are going to happen as they will … basically, we’ve set things in motion and now just have to be patient. REMEMBER THAT! If we are feeling the time is going to slow, it is more because we were rushing a busy lady. 

I do feel bad in that not only did we miss Dr. Marvin; we also missed talking to either Natalie or Carolyn on Friday. We don’t know what to think about having missed Dr. Marvin’s appointment. I don’t think if it was more unfair to him or to us, but I guess push come to shove, I feel worse about him. I hate to leave him holding and waiting for me. I don’t know how to handle the guilt I feel for missing him and wasting his time. I’m pretty sure that he got something else done in the meantime, but I don’t know how long he waits, before he figures he can go home. I’m hoping it isn’t much longer than 15-20 minutes. Maybe he works through the hour though in that he hadn’t planned on going home and that I might still call in before our time is over. That seems to make sense. The last couple times I’ve missed 2 times in 3 weeks he hasn’t written to verify where I was.

I don’t know what else might be going on. I know that I’m feeling some frustration for him not being speedier as to getting something written. I think that has some unconscious consideration as to us not making the appointments. Realistically, I know that it just didn’t occur to us at the time that we had an appointment until Rich asked about it later that night. I feel bad because we are taking advantage of Dr. Marvin. But, as to the unconscious processes, I knew we had been thinking that he hadn’t told us through email he’d talked to anyone and some part of us figured that he had been gone all week so most likely still hadn’t gotten a hold of anyone.

It wouldn’t be a good excuse to forget things though. That was just inconsiderate of us. We should hold in our mind that this is becoming a pattern and we have to do something about it. I think we might start setting our timer on the phone for appointment times. We could set it a half hour to an hour before hand so we make sure we get going. We owe that to Dr. Marvin if not ourselves to be taking care of our responsibility to make appointments. Ok, we’ll do that … it just makes sense.

We don’t want to get dependent on the phone in case it goes dead or we don’t hear it when it goes off, but we do need to be doing something. We’ll give it a try. I’ll have to write him a letter sometime in the next 24 hours. It is about 7:30 am now.

Hmm, just got an ad for JoAnn’s and there was a 50% sale on an Ott light, so we highlighted and sent it to CS and Linda. I think it was CS who said she was interested in them, but I don’t know if she has any use for the style that is on sale, or if for that matter if she has the extra money available. I don’t know where she would put it, but I thought it was a friend gesture anyway.

Hmm, almost forgot that in our correspondence. Just like the old days where we used to walk around the AOL J-block, now days we have the Facebook block. I don’t think we say hi to more than a dozen people at a time, but do admit to going out and looking for those people who write comments, especially positive. Most folks are just out there doing life struggling with what’s hard and easy, fun and work-full, but in general the feeling is like – you share a little with me and I’ll do the same and in the meantime we’ll both watch the world turn another day. I’m real happy with the people I connect with. In general at this point my people groups are quilters, family, school/neighbors, AOL/blogger, and Marines. I would like to start up a group for the writing, but not many to add there yet. We’re also trying to keep up with a News/Interest group, but that one is more business than I would like to do every day. It’s a process.

Nice Maury and I talked back and forth for a minute about movies. He’s seen both Wall Street and Social Network. I like Douglas and it seems like a powerful movie, and then as to social network … couldn’t be a FB person without wanting to check that one out too. Maury gives both an excellent review and he’s a tough movie person to please. He’s just seen so many movies he’s become quite the critic.

We also spotted Vickie. It sounds like she is doing well. She’s a brand new Grandma this week and it’s been such a pleasure to check in with her. There are other feelers out too. Linda is at a coin collection event today, but we’re hoping to hear from Julie. Let’s hope things are going well! I will ask her if she still feels up to the effort if she appears to be too overwhelmed. Her son is coming home from Afghanistan I believe this month, so I’m sure she’s got plenty to keep her busy. I hope we’re not infringing too much.

Hmm, one more note – it looks like Kendra is changing job positions. The company she was a supervisor for seems to have come to a conclusion. She was out of state and heading home. She stated she was on a new adventure. I wonder what she’s going to do next. With Kendra it will be something fantastic for sure. I think she’s done consulting private contractor work, so I’m not sure if that’s what is going to happen or if she’s gotten a job somewhere else. It seems she’s pretty happy with the change. That’s one of the few relationships I wish I knew more of.

But, we’ve got to do with what we’re given.

Hmm, seems like we’ve written a bit of fluffy for the last page or so. I do feel much more like a social butterfly. I can’t say I appreciate enough that Facebook is here and we are able to communicate with so many. I just can’t imagine living back in the day where the only people you talked to were the ones in 3D space. I guess that’s the real point of having written for this last 7 years. It started with AOL Journals and we’ve kept up with our online presence ever since. I don’t think much is happening with the multiples group, but we’re happy with the others.

I don’t mind people aren’t connected too much to the blogs, especially if we are using them for our writing efforts. I’ve never found a morning happier than when I get to do like this and be writing to you. It’s really quite amazing and very cathartic as well.

If I were to think of just 3D, I might wonder more why I don’t have a really close friend. I mean I really do have some people I’m close to, but there isn’t anyone I can talk about things more specifically too or that we’d call each other and chat.

Maybe this is the nature of today’s world where things are so busy that there aren’t more than a few moments available to drop a note to one another. I sometimes feel envious in that Rich has a relationship with his friend Bob, where they can stop over and have coffee or go out fishing or whatever together. I love that we can do the sewing with Linda and that there are a few like Vickie and Julie we stop in to see each day, but I miss the phone conversation where you talk on and on about the day.

I suppose if there was anyone I call it would be CS, but that isn’t usually a balanced relationship. Mostly it seems like we’re checking in with her. Sometimes she will ask politely about our writing processes, and I’m grateful she has some conscious level of understanding we are writing. But, it is not a close enough relationship that she would ask what we are writing or think that she would read what we wrote. She’s had that opportunity, but instead chooses other. We have to be ok with that and for the most part are, but we miss a more in-depth relationship. Not necessarily with CS because there was never a deep relationship where we trusted each other to talk, but I have had girlfriends before where we could talk and talk. There’s a lot of listening in those kinds of relationships too, but primarily I’m looking for a relationship with someone who also spends a lot of time thinking about things.

Maybe it’s time we go back to looking for people through the blogs? Hmm, maybe that is an idea, but then we know we’re limited by time. I suppose we should be just happy where we are and leave it at that. Maybe we’ve matured in relationship so that the people we know briefly are known “enough” through the writing to feel good about their life and your connection to it to be enough. Ok, I know … still be nice to have someone to call and ask that they come over.

I could do something like that with Bob’s girlfriend Marsha, but I don’t think she’s up to a relationship she could get into our life or do more listening than talking. It all relies on being equal.

I’m wondering now about Sarah. Sarah was the other lady who had been a multiple and does the blog get together. She’s one of the most interesting people and most likely similar to me in that she thought enough to be a major writer. I absolutely love that part of her. She also saw something that was a need and then did something about it in both collecting blogs from multiples and in collecting tweets from groups of people and communities she’s involved with. She doesn’t write though on a personal level so that we would know where she was at. She’s an aggregator, and there is a valid use of the kind of information she gathers. Just would like something more. Maybe if I were to get back into blogs, I might try that route again.

I’ve picked up some of the multiples’ blogs to read. I probably was doing it at a level of looking for someone I could relate to. I’ve only gone through the A’s and B’s. Maybe today we’ll make the writing shorter and then go through the C’s and D’s. By doing so we are just reading 4-5 entries each note, unless we’re set-off by one of them to read less.

There … we just wrote to Sarah. It was a longer letter than I thought, I might write, but then again it was about normal for what I write in correspondences. I generally write 3-4 paragraphs. Sometimes they are longer and sometimes short as to the paragraph’s size. I hope she has enough time to write back. I felt good in getting out the communication I had. AND, there was something else. Julie wrote back to me and she said she’s been editing, editing and editing. She says she’s going to be done today and that she’d be in touch later. Oh man I was so excited I told her I was frilly gleeful. I’m pretty sure I haven’t been like that before. I better leave out some time about the end of the day, because I will have to go over her edits, I believe. That’ is going to take some time to go through. I’m SOOO happy to have good editing on my book.

Wow! It’s turning out to be quite a bit of a morning. Lots of things happening and you can see as people get to the part of being online that life is turning. I also took a shower and got dressed I had to do something to calm myself. Hmm, maybe I’ll start the dishwasher too. It’s not entirely full, but mostly full. Be right back. Good girl! AND, we emptied the kitty litter too. And, the last thing we did was open the curtains so it wasn’t so dark in here. I consider myself ready for company IF Maury comes by. I would still like to empty the dishwasher and that will put us even with Rich when he comes back. I don’t know if Maury is coming. He wrote back about a half hour ago in response to my last movie comment. I don’t know if he’s working then or not. Usually, if he is coming by on a Sunday it is for his lunch from work. We’ll have to see. I know he’ll let me know. Maybe I’ll check in an hour that will give him a better chance to figure out where he’s at. It’s about 9:45 am now.

I should probably get going in about 15 minutes. I don’t know what we were writing more seriously about before. I think we’d last left off with a note toward Dr. Marvin’s … I think we left ourselves an Easter egg. Hold on let me check.

Ahh we remember … we hadn’t advanced our conversation as to the people at Friesen Press. I think that Natalie is lying low thinking I’m “Carolyn’s” and Carolyn probably doesn’t want to rush me because she knew at the beginning of the week the edits would take through the weekend. She probably knows me enough to know that I won’t call just to chit-chat and if I don’t have anything new to add, I most likely won’t call. She’s pretty smart. I should have probably checked though just to see if the artwork had made any progress over the week as to the book cover. I’m really eager to see it and hope to see something of it this week. I will call Carolyn tomorrow after I know what stage the edits are in. I think I’m still going to have to correct all the things that Julie marked. My understanding is that she’s still marking things in red and blue for my attention and I will fix it from there. She wasn’t responsive as to my asking for the copy completed to be sent, so here I will be patient. I don’t know if she’s figured out from what we sent her how to save in Word. We will keep the phone close in case we need to walk through it for her to send me something.

I don’t know where we left off exactly as to naming a couple of our principle characters. I think she’s changing “friend” over to JPR. I don’t mind either way which way it goes. I like elements of both. This is where we refer back to the being patient part. If we have all the changes to do that I’m imagining, and then the question can be will I be able to finish it by the end of tomorrow.

Oh man oh man … is that news! Rick Sanchez from CNN was fired for making comments racially charged against Jewish people. They are discussing him on a panel today.

They are saying that he was losing it because maybe the Parker Spitzer took over his slot, but everyone knew that was temporary. I can’t believe he is gone. He was an upcoming. And, I can’t believe that CNN is talking about him now as if this was something other than unfortunate. Rich Sanchez wasn’t my favorite, but there is so many people leaving. I just wouldn’t want him to end so badly. They are saying its ruined his career. They are saying he’s criticizing CNN in public and that it’s gone over the border nationally … I better stop a minute I’m going to want to hear it out.

Wow! That is something pretty significant of my day. You know all I listen to is CNN and recently Sanchez has been on about 3 hours a day. People all over were criticizing his means of reporting the news ad lib and that he was a braggart. I don’t want to attach any mean words to him, because for whatever reason I didn’t respect him like I might some of the others, I felt that he was pulling more than his weight. I’m thinking he must have been pushed to an extreme by being given the prime time news and then trying to stick him back in a smaller hole. Most likely they didn’t do it appreciatively. I’m just not going to believe he is one of the bad guys and I’m still feeling a bit angry at the way CNN played him out by having negative people comment on him … that’s like taking advantage of the situation. I haven’t been happy with all the changes that have been made since Ted Turner has left. I don’t know who they will put in his spot … maybe one of the women. They don’t seem to be having to many upcoming young men like TJ and Lemon. I didn’t like the new older republican guy because he felt like a bully. I do like Spitzer, but my first impression of Parker is that she’s arrogant. And, I’m terrified as to losing Larry King. If Anderson Cooper or Wolf Blitzer left, I don’t know what I’d do, unless they are trying to break down their budget by going a clean swipe.

I think the only thing that I liked was that “Mr. Independent” guy leaving … I already forgot his name. That guy used to drive me nutty. I guess Campbell Brown was at the Rick Sanchez level where I could see her come or go, BUT I felt they were competent to take on their own time slots. CNN just doesn’t seem to be real stable. I hate that part, but do like the part that there’s always something next coming that is going to make it even better. I am trying to hold hope for Parker, I like that she’s a journalist, just don’t like her cockiness over Spitzer. I hope they are both receptive because as an ideal, I would really like to see a conversation happening when people weren’t arguing, but making their way through real points. Like slow down and process an outline of conversation. I think I could do something given the inclination if the words weren’t coming at me so fast. I wonder if they have somewhere a written documentation like transcripts of the broadcasts. Maybe that is a big deal to put in some place stable.

There, they have a feedback section on CNN homepage, so I presented as much as I could. I might not be succinct, but feel it’s a very valuable contribution to consider putting things in writing. In essence it’s the transparency that all government says, but rarely does. It’s always been my opinion that if it’s important enough to say AND put in writing, then it’s important enough to remember. Well, I don’t say it quite like that, but I think it’s a true statement.

Lordy, I’m way over budget on my time now. If I am going to hold Julie to editing … Maybe I better get to it as well, except by now an hour has gone by of my valuable time and I feel it to be fleeting. It’s now 10:45 am. Hmm, this is when we said we’d connect to Maury – better do that now. Ok, we called and left a message. Glad we got something in. Maury’s real good about returning messages.

We are holding the phone closer by in case he calls back, and I should be thinking to of Rich calling in or possibly Julie. I think those are the only folks who might talk to me today. If I had a few dollars loose, I might try inviting Joe and or Cari out too, just don’t have those kinds of resources.

I left a message for Thom too. He’s been in the states for a month now and he’s not really getting too much communication out. I think he talked to Maury about the furniture, but I don’t know if anything else went out. I sure would like to know how the hell he is doing. He’s a presence I’d really like to be more in touch with, but then nothing here has changed over time. I try to think sometimes of like an old John Wayne war movie, where he gets on base and hooks, up with an old girl or guy friend, basically he rolls where they tell him to go, but he doesn’t usually stop and call his mother. It’s getting me by at least.

Hmm, thinking ok … let’s get going, right? There is a lot of work to do yet.

We’re thinking that we’d like to have the second book out by February. If we don’t get money from selling the first book, maybe we can use the tax return money. We’re going to work toward that end. I did think yesterday about the purposes for me writing. Sometimes it seems only that we’re writing for the house or feel good rewards. I think it has to be about ourselves first though. I don’t have any illusions of saving or changing the world. I think that if you were to read my book, you might get a better idea of how normal it is to be a multiple. I think if there was less sensationalism there would be more tolerance for the disorder in the general and medical communities.

I know there are a lot of multiples who write and I have no idea how many of us are out here. But, certainly there’s some room for something a little less exciting. If you were to get something specifically out of the writing … Well, I’m a pretty nice person. Well ok, sometimes we are a little whiny and cranky.

Oh man … Anderson Cooper is going to be on some kind of daytime talk show? Is that what I just heard? The guy who’s been reporting these other changes to CNN just said that too. He said Anderson has a lot of energy, but will that take down his credibility. Is this like the writing on the wall we were worried about before with our beloved CNN? What am I going to do without it? I think his name was Howard something and he does his show called Reliable Sources and it’s supposed to be a show on multi-media. Hmm, don’t remember seeing that before … Is this new?

I’ve seen the guy before, just didn’t really have a space in my mind that he fit in. Now is the show by Candy Crowley. I like her, but haven’t been able to pay so much attention because by this time of the day we’re really into other things. Not her fault though. However, I would like her to seem a little happier. I am glad they gave her more responsibility.

Back to whiny cranky? Hmm, this might take a few moments. Why don’t we come up with just one or two reasons why it might be a good idea to read our book – other than you are a friend who through Facebook have sworn you’d read a copy. I hate to think we’ve tricked you!

Let’s think one reason. Let’s see we got the part that we’re mostly a nice person with parts. What else? I don’t think I do too much with keeping you abreast with world events. It’s like I’ve gained over years of watching CNN a general running interest and knowledge about what’s happening enough so I feel a part of this world, but I don’t ever talk to much about it. If I were to say one thing about politics, I would say shame on you Barak. I do think you are doing the best that could be done with what hand you were dealt, but whether it was you or your cronies … you dropped everyone that had worked so hard to bring you forward. That just wasn’t fare. I see through my email box you saved until the last month or two some effort to communicate with us. And, I’ve seen that EVERY piece you’ve sent us and it’s slim that you asked for contributions.

But, the major thing is that you lost the spirit of the people. I so hope that is Rahm Emanuel or David Axelrod you are going to become more a people person. There … that’s my take on politics. We’re here Barack – just it’s up to you to come looking at us for something more serious. Whatever happened to your commitment to volunteers? Did you need us for something other than getting you elected? Make us all a part of the process. This is where you’ve gone wrong. You are out of touch. Maybe it’s being gun shy, but you need a thicker skin than this … but, gosh, you’re President! Skip the media and Republicans and just gather us up again! We’re ready to stand up with you and for you.

Ok, well that’s not why you should read our work, but you should know that feeling about us anyway. Let’s add an Hmpf here, k?

Hmm, take a note … Helen is not much an early weekend riser. She just said something funny in response to my morning cheerfulness. Something more like a Garfield image of someone waking up and scratching/stretching. She’s funny!

Now we seem really bothered. We’re going to need making a decision are we going to save for now or go into trying to figure out SOME reason why you might want to be reading us. Maybe it’s a little too fearful going into or avoiding. I know … let’s have something to eat! Maury hasn’t responded so we’re thinking he’s caught up with a customer. We’ll just have a LITTLE something lite. I don’t know what time he can get off IF he can get off, and it IS our regular lunch time, brb.

Whoops … thought that might happened, but it turned out to be a good decision.

Maury just called and said he’s 10 minutes away, but just starting a job that could take a couple of hours. We clarified where the money was Hehehe. He is going to let me know how he’s doing on time after the job. So, it gives us some good time to work. We’re thinking we aren’t going to open up yet the can of worms figuring out why you should be reading us. That was just making my mind work TOO hard! I figure if we have a couple free hours we might as well get in some editing. If I could do 5-6 hours today, I’d be REAL Happy! Talk later!

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