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Dissociative Identity Disorder Blog

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Sunday, October 31, 2010

It took a Sunday but we done it...

Good morning. This is us and it is already about 10 A.M. on a Sunday morning – it’s Halloween actually. But, things have really changed course in the last 24 hours. Rich’s Mom had another fall early Saturday morning. Bud took her to the hospital and was met by his daughter. He called me when he couldn’t get a hold of Rich, but we got a hold of him through Bob. There was a little mix-up because Bob passed on the message that we’d called for Doug’s mom, but they eventually figured it out when Bob said to Rich that she had given the ambulance people trouble with the smoking. Rich and Bob came back from their fishing trip right away. He had gotten a hold of then Karen and they were talking about surgery.

We were there yesterday when the heart doctor came in and told her that if she didn’t have surgery most likely she would become an invalid and that would shorten her life span considerably. She said she would agree with whatever the doctors were telling her. That was a relief. He was supposed to wait for the orthopedic surgeon this morning, but there was going to be more tests. Then about 7:30 A.M., Karen called to say that most likely after the heart test she would be going directly into surgery.

Rich made a decision that we are a bit frustrated with in that he said we should stay here, but then we discussed options of me meeting him there later on or that we might join him for dinner near the hospital. Those options made me feel better. I don’t think he wanted to worry about me and that he wanted to focus on being just himself dealing with his mother’s crisis. I know I’m Rich’s best support, but he didn’t want to tie me up with just sitting around waiting. I didn’t like being left behind, but then we swore him to calling me when anything happened and that if he was even thinking should I call Ann, he should be calling.

I know that there will be other visitors, but I thought I had been good for Karen too. Bud was kind of quiet, but Karen had a lot to talk about. I think it’s good when we can talk together. I think in general girls talk more about a larger variety of things than guys do.

We ended up parking far away in the wrong lot, and we had a long winding walk to the room, and then later we got lost finding the car, but Karen and Bud happened to drive through and they saw us and offered us a ride. I later told her she probably saved our relationship … between the walking at the hospital and my long day with the store research … it had been quite a bit past my norm for being up and out.

For that part, I’m glad to have a little bit quieter of the day. We’ll talk about the stores in just a bit, but I need to calm down some first.

I think we noted Rich is on his way. We told him that he should call people last night, but he waited. After he found out about the surgery this morning he made calls. Feel pretty bad for him. I know he’s already worrying that his Mom won’t make it. Obviously many prayers are going out that are pulling for the best. I’m not going down the more negative path. Just going to say here that after surgery there’s going to be a lot of working things out – I made sure to tell Karen that we are willing to step up and do our part of the helping. Pretty much Bud and his family do most things within themselves. But, there’s no reason we can’t help.

Just today we’re here again doing it from the couch. Not so proud of that.

I suppose though the best thing would be to do as we do and that is through our writing. So with that … we should probably say something about the stores. I don’t know how much I’m going to remember, but I think that it’s important that we try.

First off, as noted we spent some good time on Friday getting prepared for what we were going to be doing. We went through and checked off the companies that we wouldn’t be going to. On this list there were a variety of things such as grocery or big box stores, religious, ethnic and specialty stores like comic books or text books. We brought our list of remaining stores (we’d gone out Friday to four) to about 20. Then because we’d had so many stores not work out the night before, we checked out the stores we had through the Internet. If they didn’t check out we crossed them off the list. It seems that sometimes stores come and go. I’m thinking for the smaller places it would be hard to compete with a big store.

After we got our list narrowed we divided it into three sections. They were the outliers, the ones toward Oak Brook and the store toward Oak Park. In the end as mentioned the outliers got taken care of Friday and the other two lists came down to nine stores that we were at yesterday. Even then, all the stores didn’t turn out to be stores. The first store was a bust, the second store was a small used paperback store, the third store was also a bust, but then we got to a Barns & Noble Bookstore.

That one turned out to be pretty big. It was the multi-store building in Oak Brook. We had good luck with parking all day, but we did find in general that the business of buying books is booming. We’re thinking it’s still a cheaper form of entertainment than many other things. There was special traffic yesterday too because of it being Halloween so there were special programs and projects in some of the bigger stores. It wasn’t too hard to find the psych section in the B&N store. It had though just a small psychology section and then specialty psych things like abuse and self-help. I don’t think we stayed long enough to look for an auto- or bio-graphical section, but we found that in some of the other stores.

They might have had one, but we always feel the need to make it a short trip because of our back. I didn’t see as many chairs around as I would have hoped.

I’m not sure what section our book is going to fall into. It could go psychology, self-help, or autobiography. I think my preference is to have it in psychology, because that section is very pronounced, but it would mean leaning on the “sicker” or “disorder” part than if it were to be listed under autobiography. I think there is a lot of competition in the auto-section because it appears a lot of people write books about themselves. I seemed to feel better about it when we noted that the Diary of Ann Frank was listed in the auto-section. There are obviously a lot bigger names than ours. Some of the people are the ones that we’ve been seeing on Larry King or on front covers when we do our Amazon or other bookstore searches.

I felt very humbled by the part where in consideration of these other big names, why someone would choose to pick up our book. At the moment, I don’t think we have anything to really go on except that we have a slight home town advantage. I was on one search on the computer and I found that autobiography’s are sometimes counted out most likely because there are so many of them.

But the second big store we went in to was a Border just around the corner also in Oak Brook. I had a feeling of much bigger space at the B&N than the Borders.

There is something to be said about it being homier in a store where everything reaches out to grab you, but by the time we got to the Borders in Oak Park, we were showing a better preference for the bigger space. The store in Oak Park was just miserable in that there were so many people about and the sound of shoppers, especially with kids was so much that it was hard to focus. The first Borders had a psych section, but the second one didn’t. It had philosophy and it had self help or improvement and they both had a lot of autobiographies. There were too many books in any of the stores for me to settle down and look through the gist of who the people were writing. Most often you just get a sense by the books that are facing out. Most often what we did was to look for the “G” section. We found in some bookstores it was harder than others. For example if the author’s name was Smith, but he’d written a book on Freud, it would be listed in the “F’s.”

Some of the names were familiar though most likely already mentioned such as Freud, Fromm, Gardner, Frank and even Bill Gates. I think because some of these names were SOOOO big, it left me thinking that I probably won’t be in many bookstores. I didn’t find many books on multiples no matter where I looked. I think the best method of finding these books is to go on-line and I seriously don’t think anyone really looking for multiples would look anywhere other than on-line because of the shortage of space on the shelves and by being such a small name. One day maybe I will have the number of books that make it its own phenomenon, but also maybe there will be a few discouraging comments that will keep people from purchasing the series. There are so many unplayed variables that it is ridiculous to get stuck at this point with it.

I think pretty much it is going to be like with the blog. You really have to figure that the book or writing is all about us sitting down and figuring out where we were or have been, or are going and then to let go of the rest of the “hype-part” of the production. I’m thinking that we are going to fill a small niche and for that we will choose to be very happy.

Yesterday before Rich got home, we figured that we should do some more scrounging of book stores. I hadn’t an idea what was out there before. I knew that when I was college and young adult age, my ex and I would go to a lot of book stores, but it is another time, place and the variety of books is that much larger. We had gone through the first list of one hundred store names and we ended up visiting 16 stores in general, and from that the list was so brought down. We found out that our favorite bookstore from earlier days when living in Oak Park was closed down.

That store was Barbara’s, but it seems to appear that there are more Barbara’s listed but maybe more upscale places such as downtown or the north shore.

There was one other store that panned out, but they had a very small section for psych books and the store was pretty small. That was the Book Table in Oak Park, AND I’m thinking they took used books. Hehehe maybe to get in one of these stores would be to keep a couple copies around for a few years, and then present it.

Maybe hand it around a bit to scuff it up like cars driven by Golf pros to be sold later as a used vehicle.

So, I would say out of the first one hundred stores within about 0-6 miles out there were only the three Borders, the Barns & Noble, and the Book Table. I would still like to try either some textbook stores or medical stores, which seem to be coming up in the second hundred. I’m thinking that the Books-a-million or Book Rack might be found in other locations, though having closed up in the particular sections we were looking at. I was surprised how many stores were listed at houses, so I’m thinking those businesses tracked down just a particular interest and that their books were mostly on line. Maybe they were middle men in the book arena. I think I’m going to find in many stores that if the purchaser says no in one store, it’s pretty much no in their entire chain. Maybe you have to prove some selling numbers or maybe you have to be giving book readings. I’m not sure how small an author you can be and still give presentations. I should have been asking for schedules of authors coming in as we were out there to get a better idea what that is all about. I might email or call to get that information. I notice that many Internet sites will be behind in their news information.

The other possibility we’re going to need trying is in looking into libraries.

Maybe today we can do some checking too into books published by Ingram’s Books to see where they are likely to be going too. Hmm, just thought of that … maybe we will take a few moments. I forgot that we have a library card now and can look in the Swan section.

AHA! We checked out the Library system and these 47 books were listed. It’s kind of funny that our first research from Amazon picked up 47 books and now there are 47 books from the local libraries. Cool cool! We had them listed by age. We reserved the first two on the United States of Tara and the Herschel Walker story.

Thatta girl! Rich will be so pleased we are ordering books and not buying. We are really trying, you know? I want to become very knowledgeable with what is out there. This is a good place to begin.

Record 1 of 47

TITLE United States of Tara. The first season [videorecording] /
DreamWorks Television ; Showtime Entertainment.
PUB.INFO. Hollywood, Calif. : Paramount Home Entertainment, c2009.

Record 2 of 47

AUTHOR Walker, Herschel.
TITLE Breaking free : my life with dissociative identity disorder /
Herschel Walker ; with Gary Brozek and Charlene Maxfield ;
[foreword by Jerry Mungadze].
PUB.INFO. New York : Simon & Schuster, 2009.

Record 3 of 47

TITLE Current diagnosis & treatment psychiatry / edited by Michael H.
Ebert ... [at al.].
PUB.INFO. New York : McGraw-Hill Medical, c2008.

Record 4 of 47

TITLE 21st century psychology : a reference handbook / edited by
Stephen F. Davis, William Buskist.
PUB.INFO. Los Angeles : SAGE Publications, c2008.

Record 5 of 47

AUTHOR Townsend, Mary C., 1941-
TITLE Nursing diagnoses in psychiatric nursing : care plans and
psychotropic medications / Mary C. Townsend.
PUB.INFO. Philadelphia : F.A. Davis Co., c2008.

Record 6 of 47

AUTHOR Chokroverty, Sudhansu.
TITLE 100 questions & answers about sleep and sleep disorders /
Sudhansu Chokroverty.
PUB.INFO. Sudbury, Mass. : Jones and Bartlett Publishers, c2008.

Record 7 of 47

AUTHOR Walker, Herschel.
TITLE Breaking free / Herschel Walker ; with Gary Brozek and Charlene
PUB.INFO. New York : Simon & Schuster, 2008.

Record 8 of 47

AUTHOR Hyman, Jane Wegscheider.
TITLE I am more than one : how women with dissociative identity
disorder have found success in life and work / Jane Wegscheider
PUB.INFO. New York : McGraw-Hill, c2007.

Record 9 of 47

TITLE Best music writing 2007 : the year's finest writing on rock, hip-
hop, jazz, pop, country and more / Robert Christgau, guest
PUB.INFO. Cambridge, Mass. : Da Capo ; London : Perseus Running
[distributor], 2007.

Record 10 of 47

AUTHOR Sadock, Benjamin J., 1933-
TITLE Kaplan & Sadock's synopsis of psychiatry : behavioral sciences/
clinical psychiatry / Benjamin James Sadock, Virginia Alcott
PUB.INFO. Philadelphia : Wolter Kluwer/Lippincott Williams & Wilkins,

Record 11 of 47

AUTHOR Engel, Beverly.
TITLE The Jekyll and Hyde syndrome : what to do if someone in your life
has a dual personality? or if you do / Beverly Engel.
PUB.INFO. Hoboken, N.J. : John Wiley, c2007.

Record 12 of 47

AUTHOR McHugh, Paul R. (Paul Rodney), 1931-
TITLE The mind has mountains : reflections on society and psychiatry /
Paul R. McHugh.
PUB.INFO. Baltimore : Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006.

Record 13 of 47

AUTHOR Stevens, Sufjan.
TITLE The avalanche [sound recording] Sufjan Stevens.
PUB.INFO. Lander, WY : Asthmatic Kitty Records, p2006.

Record 14 of 47

TITLE Sybil [videorecording] / directed by Daniel Petrie.
PUB.INFO. Burbank, CA : Warner Home Video, [2006]

Record 15 of 47

AUTHOR Oxnam, Robert B.
TITLE A fractured mind : [sound recording] : [my life with multiple
personality disorder] / Robert B. Oxnam.
PUB.INFO. Roseland, NJ : Listen & Live Audio, p2005.

Record 16 of 47

AUTHOR Fox, James Alan.
TITLE Extreme killing : understanding serial and mass murder / James
Alan Fox and Jack Levin.
PUB.INFO. Thousand Oaks : Sage Publications, c2005.

Record 17 of 47

AUTHOR Oxnam, Robert B.
TITLE A fractured mind : my life with multiple personality disorder /
Robert B. Oxnam.
PUB.INFO. New York : Hyperion, c2005.

Record 18 of 47

AUTHOR Ross, Colin A.
TITLE Schizophrenia : innovations in diagnosis and treatment / Colin A.
PUB.INFO. New York : Haworth Maltreatment and Trauma Press, 2004.

Record 19 of 47

TITLE Kaplan & Sadock's comprehensive textbook of psychiatry / editors,
Benjamin J. Sadock, Virginia A. Sadock.
PUB.INFO. Philadelphia : Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, c2004.

Record 20 of 47

TITLE Treating chronic and severe mental disorders : a handbook of
empirically supported interventions / edited by Stefan G.
Hofmann, Martha C. Tompson ; foreword by David H. Barlow.
PUB.INFO. New York : Guilford Press, c2004.

Record 21 of 47

AUTHOR Gutman, Dan.
TITLE Mrs. Roopy is loopy! / Dan Gutman ; pictures by Jim Paillot.
PUB.INFO. New York : HarperTrophy, 2004.

Record 22 of 47

AUTHOR Stout, Martha, 1953-
TITLE The myth of sanity : divided consciousness and the promise of
awareness / Martha Stout.
PUB.INFO. New York : Penguin Books, 2002.

Record 23 of 47

TITLE Attachment, trauma and multiplicity : working with dissociative
identity disorder / [edited by] Valerie Sinason.
PUB.INFO. Hove [U.K.] ; New York : Brunner-Routledge, 2002.

Record 24 of 47

AUTHOR Pollock, Philip, 1968-
TITLE Cognitive analytic therapy for adult survivors of childhood abuse
: approaches to treatment and case management / Philip H.
Pollock ; with specialist contributions from Sue Llewelyn ...
[et al.].
PUB.INFO. Chichester, England ; New York : Wiley, c2001.

Record 25 of 47

AUTHOR Haddock, Deborah Bray, 1956-
TITLE The dissociative identity disorder sourcebook.
PUB.INFO. Chicago, IL : Contemporary Books, 2001.

Record 26 of 47

TITLE Kaplan & Sadock's comprehensive textbook of psychiatry / editors,
Benjamin J. Sadock, Virginia A. Sadock.
PUB.INFO. Philadelphia : Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, c2000.

Record 27 of 47

AUTHOR Acocella, Joan Ross.
TITLE Creating hysteria : women and multiple personality disorder /
Joan Acocella.
PUB.INFO. San Francisco : Jossey-Bass Publishers, c1999.

Record 28 of 47

AUTHOR Alderman, Tracy.
TITLE Amongst ourselves : a self-help guide to living with Dissociative
Identity Disorder / Tracy Alderman and Karen Marshall.
PUB.INFO. Oakland, CA : New Harbinger, c1998.

Record 29 of 47

AUTHOR Friesen, James G.
TITLE Uncovering the mystery of MPD / James G. Friesen.
PUB.INFO. Eugene, OR : WIPF & Stock Publishers, 1997.

Record 30 of 47

AUTHOR Saks, Elyn R., 1955-
TITLE Jekyll on trial : multiple personality disorder and criminal
law / Elyn R. Saks, with Stephen H. Behnke.
PUB.INFO. New York : New York University Press, c1997.

Record 31 of 47

AUTHOR Hales, Dianne R., 1950-
TITLE Caring for the mind : the comprehensive guide to mental health /
by Dianne Hales and Robert E. Hales ; introduction by Allen
PUB.INFO. New York : Bantam Books, 1996, c1995.

Record 32 of 47

TITLE The Hatherleigh guide to psychiatric disorders.
PUB.INFO. New York : Hatherleigh Press, 1996.

Record 33 of 47

AUTHOR Phillips, Jane.
TITLE The magic daughter : a memoir of living with multiple personality
disorder / Jane Phillips.
PUB.INFO. New York, N.Y. : Viking, 1995.

Record 34 of 47

AUTHOR Morrison, James R., 1940-
TITLE DSM-IV made easy : the clinician's guide to diagnosis / James
PUB.INFO. New York : Guilford Press, c1995.

Record 35 of 47

TITLE Eating problems : a feminist psychoanalytic treatment model / the
Women's Therapy Centre Institute ; Carol Bloom ... [et al.].
PUB.INFO. New York, NY : Basic Books, c1994.

Record 36 of 47

AUTHOR Weissberg, Michael P.
TITLE The first sin of Ross Michael Carlson : a psychiatrist's personal
account of murder, multiple personality disorder, and modern
justice / Michael Weissberg.
PUB.INFO. New York : Dell, 1993, c1992.

Record 37 of 47

AUTHOR Weissberg, Michael P.
TITLE The first sin of Ross Michael Carlson : a psychiatrist's personal
account of murder, multiple personality disorder, and modern
justice / Michael Weissberg.
PUB.INFO. New York : Delacorte Press, 1992.

Record 38 of 47

TITLE Multiple personality disorder from the inside out / edited by
Barry M. Cohen, Esther Giller, Lynn W.
PUB.INFO. Baltimore : Sidran Press, c1991.

Record 39 of 47

AUTHOR Ross, Colin A.
TITLE Multiple personality disorder : diagnosis, clinical features, and
treatment / Colin A. Ross.
PUB.INFO. New York : Wiley, c1989.

Record 40 of 47

AUTHOR Sizemore, Chris Costner.
TITLE A mind of my own /The woman who was known as Eve tells the story
of her triumph over multiple personality disorder Chris Costner
PUB.INFO. New York : Morrow, c1989.

Record 41 of 47

AUTHOR Putnam, Frank W., 1947-
TITLE Diagnosis and treatment of multiple personality disorder / Frank
W. Putnam.
PUB.INFO. New York : Guilford Press, c1989.

Record 42 of 47

TITLE Treatment of multiple personality disorder / edited by Bennett G.
PUB.INFO. Washington, D.C. : American Psychiatric Press, c1986.

Record 43 of 47

AUTHOR Bliss, Jonathan.
TITLE Prism : Andrea's world / Jonathan Bliss and Eugene Bliss.
PUB.INFO. New York : New American Library, 1986, 1985.

Record 44 of 47

AUTHOR Clark, Nancy Hughes.
TITLE Shatter : the true story of Kathy Roth's eight separate
personalities and her struggle to become whole / by Nancy
Hughes Clark with Kathy Roth.
PUB.INFO. Toronto ; New York : Bantam Books, 1986.

Record 45 of 47

AUTHOR Smith, R. Douglas.
TITLE Multiple personality, theory, diagnosis, and treatment : a case
study / by R. Douglas Smith, Perry W. Buffington, Ray H.
PUB.INFO. New York, N.Y. : Irvington Publishers, c1982.

Record 46 of 47

AUTHOR Schreiber, Flora Rheta.
TITLE Sybil / by Flora Rheta Schreiber.
PUB.INFO. New York, N.Y. : Warner Paperback Library, 1974.

Record 47 of 47

AUTHOR Lancaster, Evelyn, pseud.
TITLE The final face of Eve, by Evelyn Lancaster with James Poling.
PUB.INFO. New York, McGraw-Hill [1958]

Hmm, looking down the line at this now … it would seem there is a little mish-mash of stuff in here. Mostly the list has to do with multiples, but then there is a lot missing in between and I’m not really interested in the general psych books where they offer only a paragraph or two … We’ll probably check them off the list too.

I’m thinking that on our web page we should try to do something like we did before in making comments of the books. I don’t want to list the problematic parts as much as the parts that were helpful to read. It would mean going back over a few books that we’ve gotten for the Kindle. Maybe not today though … we’ll have to see if I’m that organized and how things go with Mom. Maybe I should start from the beginning one book and from the ending one book. That’s an idea. But, for now we’ve got enough. Best figure this out with reality in mind. There’s just so much time.Funny I didn’t notice the timing, but the book on Eve came out a year before we were born and Sybil came out the year we started high school. I know that I saw that movie and had looked forward to it when it got to TV., but I remember so little of it. I’ll have to get that too.

Maybe I should take a few moments … its 11:30 A.M. and I want to jump in the shower in case Rich calls and wants me to meet him. Hold on.

Ok, that’s better. We gave Rich a call too, but he didn’t answer. It could mean too many things to guess.

Ok, plotting on … we checked over our email and Facebook. It’s really nice when people say things because they care about your or the people you are talking about. I had put out a note this morning about Rich’s Mom. We’ve messaged out a few things too to Vickie, Julie and a second Vickie … Rich’s Mom’s Sister’s Daughter and her husband. Ok, basically Rich’s cousin. We met her here a while ago … they are from Michigan.

Feeling that lost sense again about not knowing what to be doing. I KNOW we have to think of something. I know … we did some work with our Web page in the last couple of days. That went pretty well. We rekindled an old associates account we hadn’t been using from Amazon and it seems there are a lot of improvements in their program. I’ll show you.

It goes on like that … but we’ve got about 70-80 books saved under autobiographies. I think that if someone were looking at my book we’d like them also to know what was out there. This should support the idea we just stated as to reading books on multiplicity. It would be better if we could name things specifically, but even if we had a better general idea of what was going on out there, we could really be a lot more useful in our writing.

Looks like they are playing it again … we’ve got taped “Restoring the American Dream” with Fareed Zakaria from CNN. They showed the show this morning, but it was much too concentrated for me at the time. It does seem that we’re picking up and looking for ideas on how the United States and other countries gets out of this problem they are in economically. It seems there are so many families involved that you can’t be human and not know someone who has been affected.

Speaking of … I don’t know if we told you or not, but Rich has another job that is supposed to start tomorrow though I’m not sure if it will because of his mother’s state. He has a new job as a job developer for people with mental illness in the Skokie area for a place called Old Orchard. I hope he really does well. Basically he’s got to get 8 people hired for at least 90 days. Maybe I told you this already … just seems like a long time coming. They told him about the job about a week ago. Normally, Rich would have time to take off for his mother. I’m hoping he doesn’t get real overwhelmed the first week. We’re going to have to pay attention to how we can be helping him.

We’re not doing a very good job though. We’ve been hassling him since he’s been home. I think it surprised some of our parts and we’ve been trying to work it through, but we’re not all as generous. Basically, we had told him that we were appreciating our break from him and that we had to readjust ourselves in him being here. I think a part of that is that Rich can be a mother hen. He’s working on the part where he doesn’t ask me as much where we are going when we stand up from the couch, but he tells us after he’s found us that that is what he had thought.

Yesterday about 9:00-9:30 P.M, but we got up used the washroom and then went to sleep in the bedroom. He came in and turned on the light to make sure we were ok.

It’s a very sweet thing to be so concerned, but sometimes we like it like now where our mind is able to think whatever without any impediments. We just wanted to fade out and not talk about what he wanted us to do before we went to bed. Of course the part of being smooched is almost worth the hassle, but still.

As expected we got a full dose of him worrying this morning. I know he’s really worried about his Mom, but he can’t do much there except to be there. We understand, but he’s got left over worry in him that he’s trying to transfer over to us. He wanted to talk about diets again this morning and we didn’t want to hear about it. I don’t know what it would take to make it the right time, but I know we’re getting close, especially if we are going to want to be out and amongst people. That isn’t Rich’s chief concern, but he’s willing to use it if it works in getting us out there. He went as far to mention the gym word, but then he added that with a smorgasbord of things he wanted me to stop doing. We told him this is usually what he tries. Instead of worrying over his weight which is creeping up again … he puts all his energy into fixing me. It just can’t work that way … I’ve got to own up to my own motivation and drive.

Hmm, there was Rich. It’s still hurry up and waits type of game. She’s gone through quite a few tests and if this last test comes through they will go through surgery. She is up and aware, but I’m not getting a whole lot of information from Rich. He’s already tired. He only slept in until about 7:15 A.M. This morning so it means he got 7-8 hours sleep. Normally that would be enough, but he was deprived from being up early to fish. I think maybe later I should call Karen, I’d get much more information that way. Hmpf!

Ok, you … Rich is already saying he’s got to do this and this and this … and we said ok, reasonably you can’t do all that, you are going to need letting some of it go … but he’s like I can’t let any of it go. So it was like THIS is why you need me. He had prefaced that by saying that we were going to need helping him this week. We had asked for our first task, but didn’t get one. Looking around here … we’re glad we started the dishwasher yesterday. Probably we should empty it before he gets back though because there are a few stray dishes from last night.

How did we get from surgery to washing dishes in a half page? Probably like them … it’s just such a helpless time of not knowing how to help that the smallest things become important. I saw that general track at the hospital. When one waiting person speaks to the next, there is an exchange of giving that person all the knowledge on or the other had missed. When a new person comes into the group … sometimes the same story gets told until you all have memorized each others’ stories and can fill in the blanks. I can appreciate that Rich is leaving me out of it, but still feel bad for not being there. I know … I’m like the pinch hitter maybe saved for another round. Rich did mention something about dinner. So maybe he’ll let me join him about then. It is going to be hard to say what for when because nobody knows the schedule of when the next doctor shows up or someone says let’s get this one on the road.

I think part of Rich’s thought on leaving me here is that he can transport easier the thought that he’s traded places with me so is now sitting in his comfy chair.

I think the situation he is in is very stressful. They started talking about nursing homes and they are going to try getting his Mom into a better one than before. I think she liked it because they let her go out for smokes, but I don’t think it’s going to be this easy this time. I’m having a hard time even hoping that they could get into some place that offers real rehabilitative care and that old people aren’t just left to themselves. I know not having these kinds of answers is what adds stress to the family. Rich is I believe letting Karen do more work, but she has just got a full time job offer. She’s in the same situation as Rich as far as needing to be somewhere in the day. Rich probably has a little more flexibility.

We were grumbly too in that we saw how tired Rich was, but he stayed true to his center in not giving up any real control. We’re talking simple things like letting me drive. He can sit on the passenger side when his fishing buddies are driving, but he can’t let me drive. I dislike that situation very much. He was making things unsafe like crossing over lanes in the middle of the intersection. Just isn’t really fair to me at all. The only problem there is that if we were to get in an accident it would be better than he hurt me than if I hurt him. I don’t know where that kind of logic comes from, but pretty much how I feel. None-the-less … I didn’t want to get hurt last night. It took me a while to get settled down and then we just held a hand … that’s pretty normal in a car ride between us. It’s Rich’s PREFERENCE that I’d be massaging his hand, but … he had to make due.

Hmm, kind of frustrated again … we’re thinking we’re more of a bother than a help.

This is probably not going to help. I think our horoscope said this morning something about hiding under a shell or mask. It was a slight take on Halloween, but what else did it mean?

Hmm, this is what it says, “I am quite adept at hiding in my shell whenever I experience a sense of insecurity, fear, or moodiness. This can offer you sweet respite on occasion, but if you do it too often it can result in a feeling of isolation. Today, though, you can disguise yourself as anything you want to be, so you won’t have to hide out just because you feel you don’t fit in. If you’re feeling grumpy or sad, you can put on a mask that makes you look happy. You may be surprised that, after awhile, you’ll actually feel happy. In the spirit of Halloween, give it a try.”

Ok, insecure, fearful, moody, isolated, not fit in, grumpy or sad … well like I can go with ALL of that. Hmm, happy face, happy face … where did I put that?

Do something unique custom made … work locally … make yourself indispensable learn a different craft work well with others synthesize … learn a language traditional or through math. These are a few ideas … we turned on Fareed for a moment, but he’s done now.

I think I’m doing pretty much through the writing something unique, art and craft-like … who is to say in the beginning stages of a dream what is going to work and what isn’t. My thoughts are though if this is something I could do couldn’t others as well. Granted I do give a lot of time to the writing. As an example today at this moment It’s about 1 P.M. and I started about 3 hours ago … and grant it there are a few pictures, but we’re on page 13. Could you see the advance of having done that same thing year after year? Surely it must be worth something.

It seems a lot of my time focuses on multiplicity, but we don’t write a whole lot on it. We’ve already stated we are going to do some reading, but that’s only part of it. Pretty much the only reason you would want to study or now about a multiple? Is it that we have something unique to offer? I don’t know maybe singletons are looking over at the greener grass on the other side. We’ve already gone into quite a bit of detail in stating we don’t believe multiplicity has to be sensationalized. I think that is the only value – that of entertainment that is being utilized now. Things like Oprah and the United States of Tara seem to help emphasize that the point of multiplicity is in its entertainment value.

Wouldn’t it be something else if people just started getting to know one another not through all the famous accounts although those too, but about everyday people.

Isn’t it something that could or should hold our attention? I’m thinking about the political race between Obama and McCain. One of the most famous through that series of events was “Joe the Plummer.” He stood for just your everyday kind of guy. Because he was in the spotlight of so many people … he took a whole new status of hero. Until of course we found another different hero and then the world moves on, with only thought that one day they are going to be playing a series of pictures about “remember when?” And, you will see the plumber as he was and then is and you will find the passage of time just incredible.

We haven’t thought about it, but maybe that is part of us putting together a series as we are. Maybe we should try to put this together more seriously. I think we’re in need of a new idea and term to describe it. I’m looking at the idea as being away of journaling the life of everyday people and that somehow the reading of each others’ manuscripts and books lead us into finding something of ourselves or our world that is new and different and will succeed the hardships that befall us in this direction or the other.

Maybe one reason that it could be so important is that it would help us in the harder years build up our sense of hope and dream for the future. That would be quite a feat wouldn’t it? And, there would some vicarious addition to human culture in that somehow we would need to learn and grow from this kind of development. How is it that we would be better human beings if we took into the adventures of learning from others? How could people ad input … just thinking now about a little sci-fi where we step into some kind of pod and sense each other microscopically. Maybe we could mix this with Rich’s thoughts on trying to help one another. We should have an avenue of helping ourselves or the next guy. So basically than you would need some kind of format to catch the consequence of your learning sense after getting to know someone else … basically you are inventing the moccasins of your friend, family or neighbor to walk in.

Hmm, hate to interpret a flow of thought, but we just got word that Rich’s Mom went into surgery. We talked to Rich for a few moments, and then went out to check Facebook and email. When we were at Christina’s site we noted that she had a Marine video of them dancing to Thriller, so I watched that. It was a real pick me up for the day. Got to love them darn Marines!

We also sent a $127 phone bill to Rich to pay from my account. It’s much better than it used to look. I think the EVO was a good idea. What did people used to spend their money on before cable and phone? We also sent out a few notes on getting out voting. We turned on the TV volume after seeing President Obama giving a speech. Had to turn it off though … too much politics … My thought is just get out there and do it. We did it Thursday … we encourage others to vote EVEN if it’s against my guys or gals. Just something you should do.

Ok, that was my speech.

I’m thinking I’m pretty caught up in my writing … cat is sitting here next to me looking sweet. So, maybe we should figure out what to do with the next several hours. I’m thinking Rich won’t be until about 6 P.M. or so. They didn’t eat lunch before the operation so they aren’t going to have dinner on schedule. He said it was just the three of them Bud, Karen and Rich. Ok, you know my feelings there.

Maybe we should look at our book store tour. I think we should draw out our map … be back!

WooHOO! We’re back! The surgery took just under 1 ½ hours and it seems to have been successful. The doctors say they will have her on her feet tomorrow YEEKS!

That’s mighty fast. Rich got the name of a nursing home his in-laws were at that had done well for them … he didn’t ask, but we found them and gave them a call and they have openings. She said just to have the hospital social worker give their social worker a call and all the arrangements will be made. That was really good news so we called Rich. He says the hospital won’t even think about it until tomorrow, but we’re thinking that is Rich’s normal pessimism. The social worker is on call 24/7, but if he wants to wait til tomorrow we aren’t going to give him grief.

I thought it and then it seems to be the case that he’s felt some relief in knowing there is a good place that will take her. It’s in Joliet which is 37 minutes or 28 miles from us straight down 55. And, is only 7-8 minutes away from Karen and about … WOW 38 minutes and 27 miles to Millington which is where Bud and Mom live … it’s PERFECTLY in the middle … and exactly straight east for Bud. Good deal good deal!

Oh-oh better watch that … we were so excited we called Rich but he’s in recover with his mother and they are having OTHER kinds of problems. Basically, she’s being ornery Rich says. She’s demanding her walker so she can go out and have a smoke. Yup, yup … that’s our girl! Awe … in makes me feel all better.

Not so much probably though for Rich and Bud and Karen. They have got their hands full.

Good time to give them a break pretty soon. I bet they are thinking they should have eaten first. HA! That will get them!

I guess it is back to our map chore Hehehe.

Cool looks like the state of Texas! We start at the middle A and M is the beginning/end point. We start NE and work our way up the clock until we’re straight north and then back home. It’s Brookfield, to Chicago to Chicago Ridge, to Downers Grove, Lombard, and Norridge and back to Brookfield which is without stopping 3 hours and 13 minutes or 79.7 miles. This will be our second trip. I’m not sure if it’s this next weekend or the following though that Rich is taking me overnight to the band concert. This trip will be reserved for the next free Saturday. I figure it will be just less than 5 gallons of gas or a half a tank so about $18, but getting .50 per mile for mileage that will come to $32 saved in the long run. It’s for business though so it should be good. I think on the next trip around, I will ask if they have any book signings coming up.

Hmm, Rich just called again … he said he’d be home in a couple of hours. It’s 4:15 P.M. now. He also said he ordered Chinese and paid for it with a credit card including tip. WooHOO, hopefully, I’ll be able to wait until it gets her AND he gets here. Better get dressed though *sigh* I do think there is a lot more to the book store trips than just the immediate getting knowledge of the stores. Pretty much I figure it is a big deal getting me out of the house on a weekend, getting in the car and driving to local places where I have to get out of the car and be around people … that part is just HUGE! Hmm, I’m thinking I might call to the stores we’ve already visited and ask if they have any speakers or book signings coming up … what we had decided earlier. There were like 5 book stores of real interest in the first loop … three Borders, one Barnes & Noble, and one Book Table. This is a business and someone has got to do it!

Hmm, we didn’t finish our think up above saying how we were going to change the world by people listening to the little guy. Not the big guy listening, but the little guys listening to each other. Maybe it’s just that we have trouble responding to each other … there are like complications that goes on in families, but it seems that a lot of people are looking at the optimal space of the computer. Maybe that’s how you can account for so many people on Facebook. I can’t tell you how important it was to be listened to today as we were going from a distance through Rich’s Mom’s day. I didn’t feel as alone. I’m hoping that I rested enough through the day although writing throughout like the olden days. I want to be able to treat Rich nice when he comes through the door. My guess is that he’s going to be emotionally drained. We figured that we’d eat just ONE small little egg roll to keep us from getting grumpy and then we’d share the rest of the meal with him  That works, right?

Chinese should be here any moment and we picked up around here again – emptied that old dishwasher. Is there anything else? Hmm, what would impress another little guy like us? Ahh maybe if he read there was a nice drink for Rich when he got home. That would be nice! Well maybe more pleasing to Rich than the other little guys, but a point would be made! This day ended with a happy ending.

BUT, there is one more thing. We’ve got about an hour and a half before Rich gets home, what is the next and next projects on the horizon. Maybe it is a good time to edit if we have what needs to be edited at home. I’m not sure where that last left off … maybe I should check the old mail, hmm?

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