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Monday, October 4, 2010
It's a Waiting Game
To be fair she’s from California though so it’s only 7:30 am for her. Man those coastal people! They like sleep forever. Hopefully they will be back within a couple hours. I’m going to need reviewing them to see how long it’s going to take me to finish. I’d like to give Carolyn a call by noon. I will want to update her and check on the schedule. I’m afraid we are backing ourselves up to the end of November. We should have an ultimate goal to have it done by Black Friday, but I know that it takes longer to get through the Amazon process – maybe like 3 weeks.
So I’m thinking we might miss our Christmas rush goals. We’ll have to see.
Sure is a lot of work getting a manuscript published, isn’t it? AND, you know how we worry about things we can’t do much about. It’s within our nature. This morning our horoscope said, “It’s easy to accept a compliment when you really believe you deserve it. But you, dear moonchild, have trouble graciously acknowledging those compliments you feel you don’t deserve. Many people, if not most, would be thrilled to be fawned over and adored for something they can’t fully take credit for, but not you. You are one of the purists, and you only feel right enjoying the accolades when you have put your heart and soul into something. You are now or will soon receive kudos for something. Do not doubt that you deserve it.”
Rich’ horoscope says that something financial isn’t as ideal as it sounds. I’m thinking this has something to do with that job he’s applying for. He just doesn’t know what kind of hours they could throw at the house manager.
WooHOO! We got a response back from Dr. Marvin. He addressed the issues of me not being there on Friday and the problems we’d left him in an email when he was gone concerning CS and us. He also said that he got a hold of the attorney. This is how we responded … and then basically we gave a copy of the notes from Dr. M. and us to Julie and Carolyn. Hmm, we’ve covered now Rich, the boys and Sister. One more person … Vince! We’re covering all our bases. I don’t know if anyone will respond, but it’s important that I include them if I can. These are the people that know more about me than anyone else. If they have questions, maybe Dr. Marvin can address them and so doing could address the similar questions the readers might ask.
This is the work between Dr. M and us.
We’re on to the good news. The lawyer called be back when I was out of the office. I had a chance to speak to him on Friday. He said that we have to make a special authorization that includes 1) permission to release your health information (i.e. that I am your doctor); 2) a release from liability for disclosing your health information; and 3) specific wording that this release pertains to a single purpose (i.e. book forward). He will help with the wording of the document once we decide on what the forward should say.
So, I think it’s a go. If you can send me a summary of what you would like me to speak about in the forward, I will start working on something.
Dear Dr. Marvin,
I agree let’s go onto the good news. I’m soooo happy you got a chance to talk to the attorney. It’s cool you will get help wording the document toward single purpose of the book. I have no problems with any of the consents. I have to think here about what to speak about in the foreword. For the record, Dr. Woollcott did email me last week saying he would write something short and that he’d finish it within a couple of weeks. I told him you might contact him after hearing from the attorney. If you could talk to him, it might be a good idea to coordinate with him somewhat … I’m sure he’s going to emphasize that it’s been more than a dozen years since he saw us. You, of course, have the next 11 years … Wow! We really do have some history.
I think I would like:
To say something about yourself, qualifications, type of therapy and experience in treating trauma victims or multiples, and encouragement with the writing – I think it had to do something with holding thoughts independently. We started with NEEDING you to read, but at some point we get backed from that and we handle more of the writing thoughts on our own.
To say something about, the general flow of the year August, 2003 to August 2004. In general it was the period right after those couple of hospitalizations when people were dying to the part where we had just gone through CARF and Sr. had put out a lot of anger, or at least that’s what I was feeling. Her mother had just died before CARF and I had gotten mad at that person from the state and slammed down the book in a meeting which gave Sister the excuse to write me up. Sr. was like my female role model and also for the record; we didn't even acknowledge having a mother that year. We don't ever appear to have talked to her at that point. You had given me reason to believe that I should consider looking for another job.
That’s what was happening on the outside, I would like you to address what was happening on the inside. Maybe something as a summary of the first block of 5 or so years and then how that year might have been different. One thing I should say here is that … because I didn’t write anything down before mid-2003, I don’t have much recall of it. As to the mentions of you in the book, we were always looking forward to seeing you, went through a phase of not being able do phone appointments, and it seemed most of the therapy statements were of young parts going in to see you while the old parts tried to do work. We were invested in work, and we didn’t know a lot of what was going on with the younger parts – or our one core part. There were only one-two paragraphs talking about anything abusive in my childhood. If you want to approach that too it would be great. Basically, why wasn't that more of an issue or were you dealing with it with the younger parts.
Given insight to be treating me after that particular year, maybe you could also foreshadow some of the things I would next have to work through. We’re thinking of this as partly a tease, but also partly an outline. I’d like it to be fairly clear psychologically what I had achieved and what I had left to achieve. Especially something toward why therapy of the nature you do takes so many years. Most people don’t really understand this.
We like the idea of writing more than less. I would really like the reader to feel like they have someone they can trust in you and Dr. Woollcott – to basically give them a strong sense that what we were experiencing or working through was toward a healthy development of our “one person.” Maybe too when you are explaining your therapy, if you could include something about why you or Dr. Woollcott never got into calling us by the parts names, or asking for anyone in particular to come out – though we all felt invited and talked to. Also if not mentioned above, maybe something about the safe boundaries you represent in session, out of session and in cases of suicidal ideation.
This is what first came to us … please feel free to expand anything else that you might think of. I guess I think of the role of a preface as a summarizer, but also something of a preparation and safety the reader can come back to in trying to understand or grapple with the whole. Does this make sense?
One more important one … we sent this to my mother ;) Man we are covered!
Hi Mom and John,
We haven't forgotten you, but there's been like 4 edits of the book since the last time we talked to you. I think we almost have the copy that will go through, but next there will be a couple of opportunities to run it through the "proofs."
Basically, my understanding of this is that after the edits are done, someone puts it in the frame the actual book will be. The pages one by one will be how the book pages will look when completed. We're still hoping for November release of the book.
I figured out something I hadn't figured out before to be able to pay mid-October for the $500 extra to get it through the higher processes of publishing.
Basically, I asked the school loan people to defer my payment a couple of months. I'm making monthly school payments of $440. I can't do that for long. The extra services will help covering getting the book to hard copy and kindle. I've already got it in electronic and soft cover. It also give me the best options as to marketing. My understanding of marketing is that they teach me what to do. I'm ok with that ... it is as it should be. I'm glad for being able to talk at will to their marketing person for advice.
The only thing left then would be the expensive book return insurance to get it into the big stores. She says you don't need insurance for the little mom and pop stores. We'll have to see how all that goes. I will determine what to do according to the needs of the second book. I'm 60% done with the first edit of most likely 4 edits. I'm thinking maybe that would be ready to go by February or March. It might be a priority to get that book out before the big book stores. I really believe in the electronic online market place. Mostly, it's because I usually have $1000 coming back in federal taxes. So, I'm pretty well covered. I don't have ANY idea what is normal for a book. I don't know if selling 50 copies is good or whether we can hope for more. I just know I have a dream of selling over 100,000 copies to buy a house and pay off my debt. Sky’s the limit!
How do you put the horse in front of the wagon? See picture ... this is the house I want ... like the Blaine house it's further out from the city so the cost goes down. The starting price to build it is $247,000 and they have good incentive prices. Rich went in for another job interview. He makes about $80,000 now, but his wife takes $36,000 a year. He used to make about $70,000 more with his JVS job. I think he's too busy already, but he says he can give up Wednesdays off for golf with Bob hehehe.
Ok, now to the question. Mom ... you've been around a long time and you've read the book (at least an early manuscript). Dr. Woollcott my first psychiatrist (7 years) and Dr. Marvin my second psychiatrist (11 years) have both agreed to write forewords to my book. Today Dr. Marvin talked to the legal department and everything is a a go-forward. Dr. Marvin has asked me if there was anything in particular I would like to address and then he would include it. So the opportunity we're presenting you is ... do you have any questions from either knowing me or from reading the book that might be better explained in a forward from Dr. Marvin. Anything you want to ask is fine. If you are questioning it, then maybe so are my readers. So please give it a thought. Is there anything you would like in a foreword for Dr. Marvin to answer or respond to?
Let me know if there are any questions,
Good and good. We talked to Rich and told him what we would like from him toward the book and he didn’t balk, and THEN we called Carolyn. She hadn’t seen the note, but had thought it an excellent idea. She said that she would get Natalie and some of the others from her office and they would do a little brainstorming to come up with a list of things they would like to know about. She says it’s a good comprehensive group of people.
I’m so excited. Maybe collectively we’ll have a good list. I sure hope we don’t have so much that Dr. Marvin feels overwhelmed. I think he is a quicker writer than Dr. Woollcott, but it’s still going to take some time and he’ll want to make sure he gets it right.
In other news … as we mentioned Rich is in which means he got through his first interview, AND he got his second interview. It’s set up for Wednesday at 2 pm. He arranged it with the guy’s secretary. This is a good sign! He said he got the call back notice before he even got to the center. The second interview is with the head of the agency. And it’s a big agency. Rich’s job would be to take care of TWO ICFs (Intermediate Care Facility). That would mean he would have about 18 clients to take care of and he would have a staff of Q’s and DSPs. Wow! It would be a good job, but he knows already that it’s not paying as much as he would like to get. It would be very good though in giving him people to manage. I think it’s a good sign that they want him to come in so quick. My guess is that they don’t have anyone MORE qualified and they’re probably running the program without someone in the position now. That’s a lot of assuming, but we’re thinking real positive here.
Rich said already that he would have to put in one weekend a month and he’d have to put in one shift where he started with the first shift and one shift he’d be working with the late night shift. I think he wanted a little more flexibility, but it sounds like there are middle people to cover the houses before he’d have to step in. There we just sent him a link so he could read the state services rules he’d have to know. He’s used to dealing with developmentally disabled, but he would be dealing with residential services rather than day training. The States always have rules about how these kinds of agencies run.
Ok, that’s enough about thinking of something else, but the book! Well, maybe we could think of something else, but we’re not as good obviously about managing our time as Rich. Thank goodness we are not both spacey. Hmm, how many invites to makes questions for the foreword did we put out? There is Julie, V., Caroline and her group, Rich, Sr. Theresa and the three boys, and my mother. Was there anyone else? Ok, that sounds fine … we sent out to 9 people. I think I might get something back from maybe half of them. It’s not a perfect system, but I figured we covered our base.
I must be nervous again because I’m thinking that we should go look at the house pictures again. We did show Sr. Theresa and Karla the pictures from Friday’s trip to the Arboretum. They both seemed to appreciate them. Karla talked about getting another position with her other part time job. She’s going to keep the part where she goes out with clients, but she’s also going to do the QSP job three days a week. She must be goofy like Rich … People are working too hard around here! I think that is today’s version of how to handle that the jobs aren’t paying too much. People have to work longer and harder to swing the whole thing.
Hmm, we didn’t talk about the rest of Carolyn’s conversation again. It seems like things might be until late November before they come out, but that they will order the copies for selling and they may or may not get here before Christmas. It would be close, but she’s worrying about the Christmas rush with the printers. But, so far everything seems to be falling in order. As soon as I get Julie’s work, we will do our fixing and then send in. She’s says that it will take 2-3 weeks to proof, but she knows that in less than two weeks I will have the extra money, so she can get us started in the marketing part while we’re still waiting for the proofs. She said that I might have to read out loud the copy again. But because we’ve done such a careful job with the editing there shouldn’t be many changes.
After we do make changes on their copy it goes back to them and we’ve got ONE more chance to read the proof, but both Carolyn and I know by then we’ll probably sign off on it without editing, because we can be pretty confident they get there part in. Maybe I will note where the changes are and just check them …
I think then the final copy is in by the first week of November and then we’re waiting until the end of November for the copies in hand. I think it takes about another 3 weeks to get things registered through Amazon. In a sense we are missing some of the rush, but hopefully not all of it. We’re doing our best! I’m feeling things are turning out as they were meant to. Ok, now as the reward do we get to look at house pictures?
We’re back from the washroom. Rich was just called up to the front by Sister over the intercom. We’re hoping that’s not because of us, but we heard the way Sister used her voice to let him know she was being bothered by something. Let’s not be paranoid too, right? We had talked to her about the house on Friday, so there’s a chance that might come up in the conversation. I could see her wondering what to do with me by now. She would talk to Rich about me first before presenting her situation to us. It just has to do with him being higher up and more responsible than me. Because I came in under him he is always going to be “responsible” for me. I’m hoping she’s not thinking we are going to run out on her. Ok, girls, breathe!
House pictures? You better not have them up when Rich comes back though … that is not a good idea. I did talk to Robyn and she’ll be back here on Friday. We’ve got our Qnotes all in order to be typed in. Hmm, we forgot too we’d gone up earlier but sister’s door was locked in putting things on her calendar. Hmm, that’s something else too. We figured that we are going to go with Times New Roman. We thought first Georgia, but thinking now that Times New Roman is a little easier to read. We’ll have to make sure that information gets on the list of stuff going to Carolyn.
Ok, it’s a bit later. Rich came back and I was glad to hear that Sister shared problems with him that didn’t have to do with me. We did make sure that we got the meetings on everyone’s calendar and we stopped to put on Rosa’s MS Essentials Virus and Spyware protection. Pswhoo! That was fairly easy.
Then we came back and Rich had something for us to do. We told him he’d probably hurt our mind with that much work, but we eventually conceded. He wanted me to pre-write his form bosses letter of recommendation. We couldn’t do that out loud because we don’t know what he did with the other company exactly, or what the other employer thought. Rich was more or less looking for ideas that centered on supervisory, client care, and operational. We pretty much took the task because push come to shove we can generally figure out what to do.
We ended up writing a couple of columns list of 3-5 word statements as to the kind of things he did in the areas mentioned so that we’d list things such as overseer of production and support people, distinguished in years of service, valued at cost consciousness, and proficient in communication skills. You kind of get the idea.
After we got warmed up there were like 50 different statements. Most of it came from using Words synonym finder and our own knowledge of 16 years of following what Rich does.
I think after we handed it to Rich we thought we’d done well, but the he started to complain. He said this was specific and that he was looking for something more general. Like Rich, what does that mean? I said if you don’t want it, but he was no-no I’ll take it, I’ll have to go over it tonight. We asked did you want us to do more than give you ideas. He said no not really, he was just trying to cover what his new bosses want and putting in his old boss’s mouth what the new ones should here. Best I could really do is said I believe these statements to be true of you and you can do with what you want. Hmpf!
There … we just wrote Dr. Marvin. We figured it would be pretty sneaky of us not to tell him that some of these other people might come up with ideas of questions they might want answered in explanation of us. It’s like holding a small board meeting. Cool! I hope he doesn’t get frustrated. If I take advantage, I can be pretty sure he’s going to tell me, but he might just think it was a good idea, to get a little test market going. I hope for the latter.
I’ve got one picture up now that we’ve been staring at. I don’t know why … it’s not making our dream get here any sooner. But, it gives me the feeling that we’re sitting on the stairs of our new house. This is what we see.
Today when we looked at the pictures there was such an achy feeling that we fell into a spell as if we were looking into our castle of the highest form of our existence. I know this isn’t probably such a good idea to get our hopes up so high, but it is the grandest thing we ever worked or wished for. I hope I never take the place for granite.
I did a little computer work to see where it was in the general scheme of mapping things out. It’s an hour from work and 45 minutes from what might be Rich’s new job. We took a deep breath. This is probably going to cause Rich and us quite a few arguments. But, I figure that we’ll also have to look more at getting that gas efficient car If we got the Honda Insight we could go to work and back for 2 gallons