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Saturday, October 9, 2010

This is not one of my better days, but I love the picture - there's some good in there

Good morning … it’s me and we’re finally up to the big computer. We were sitting down on the couch with the little one, but we didn’t make a whole lot of progress there. We were doing just the regular check in and stuff. Rich was talking and then he started doing things on his computer, and now we’ve gotten up to now. It’s already 8:30 A.M. We decided in the end that it would best not to go into work.

There was something so delicious in the sound of having a four day weekend. It’s especially important because we’re going to need taking time tomorrow for a wedding of one of Rich’s friends’ daughter. It will be the first time I met this friend and his wife. I hope it goes well, but I’m pretty sure they are going to be too busy to do much socializing. We’ll just have to see how it goes.

The biggest deal since the last time we wrote was that we got to see Dr. Marvin last night. It was a good session, but not an excellent one. There was a little disappointment because he wasn’t as ready as he thought he might be. I told him it was ok because I knew that this was going to be an extra thing. I also asked him if the questions were hard or easy … he thought he had answers for all them, but he’s going to need putting some real time into it. I don’t know if he’s planning on working on it over the weekend, but he did say he’d have something done by early next week.

We were heeding the advice of our horoscope not to be pushing things. It said it realized we had a lot of balls in the air, but we should take a serene point of view and that basically we should hold onto our patience, because things wouldn’t be resolved all at once. That’s not exactly what it said, but in general our frame of mind after having read it. It has to be all right. One of the questions we asked him if he got any recognition from UIC for having done this much on a professional level. He said it would be like a ¼ point, and that the real points came with writing something scholastically in papers reviewed by peers. I could see that point.

It seemed to me that somebody might pay attention to this kind of stuff, but it was pretty small potatoes yet. We talked about his positional change for being an assistant professor to being an associate professor. He says the next step is that he would be a full professor, but that might take some time – over a couple of years. He said like above that it has to do loosely with almost like a point system, but not so exacting, but the that university considered all the things collectively that the psychiatrist is doing. I don’t think he gets as much credit seeing patients as he would if he was doing research. We would like to see Dr. Marvin get ahead, but certainly we would not like to see him leave his work with me. He said that he’s more a clinician than an academic, but he’s still teaching and all. He said that he has two classes and we promptly told him we’d forget them … one I believe was on analysis and the other … it was way over our head to break down.

As a side bar issue we tried to remember with him how many moves he’d made since we started together. I didn’t keep count last night, but it might have been like 7 moves. He’s been at this office with the big windows the longest. I wouldn’t want to leave here unless it was really prestigious. He’s got such a nice office, just its penned in with a lot of secretarial type people, so the walk to his office isn’t so spectacular. AND I don’t like where he’s got us waiting at a spare table off to the corner with cast off chairs. It’s better though than waiting in the real lobby where there are so many extra people coming and going. For that our little hole in the wall space is just fine.

Getting back to the paper though, he had a copy like I knew he would have waiting on the table. I was disappointed to see first that it was only a page long. And, then as it turned out he had like a dozen bullet points from questions not answered yet and at that he hadn’t even put down the bullet points from my mother’s questions. Not that those were great questions, well they are in that it comes from her, it’s just that they weren’t very personalized and seemed that her basic questions relayed a sense of denial as to how multiplicity happens. She seems to know nothing of it. Or, maybe she’s looking and hoping that it is something picked up other than what most people know it to be. It shows though that she didn’t pick it up in our book, nor did she pick it up in literature. She did mention that Oprah was having a show on multiples. It was like, ok?

Yeeks! I just paid an exorbitant amount of money for the show transcript. I figured they’d be making something on it, but it was like $25. There is at least some good in getting the hard copy. I don’t have to sit through the whole show, or play it over to get back to one point or the other that was made. In a sense it is a good deal because it puts multiplicity back up front on the stove. I don’t know if there will still be an interest in two months when my stuff becomes available, but I will make sure to send a copy to Dr. M. so that he has the option to look at it and comment from his perspective what’s learned the Oprah way.

I don’t mean to be pushing Dr. M. It’s just that a person writes her first book once in a life time and you want to be sure that you are plugged in decently to one of the most important women in America and abroad. I haven’t read the transcripts yet to find if they are complimentary toward my experience or something way different. I read enough to know that two women were on the show. The first was a mother with 20 personalities and the second was a return guest Trudi Chase. She’s very famous as to being known for her multiplicity. She is recorded as having like 92 different personalities. I don’t want to make any judgments until I read the material, but there seems to have been one more guest in that they had the daughter of the mother on and I think she started to cry … maybe about one or more of the parts not acknowledging her as their daughter. That would make anybody cry.

I guess we always looked at it from the perspective that the boys were all of our sons. We’ve talked about Ann the one making the choice to get married, and having kids, but it would have been impossible for only one part to have claimed such a thing. We just change around too much, especially during the emotionalism of child birth.

There was another communication in the last week or so. We got a note from Sarah E. Olsen in response to a note we’d written her. She didn’t address the letter just made a correction to say that her site has more than just multiples … it is actually for all people who dissociate. I assume that includes PTSD … I’m not sure who else dissociates. Maybe you can have one part of that which PTSD and DID people have, but not the full-blown identity of either.

Dr. Marvin and I went through what he’d wrote, but then it was over in just a few moments and we figured that we had the session so would go back over things point by point. We didn’t get through the whole thing, but maybe we can remember a few things along the way.

We didn’t say anything as to his intro. It was fine, though didn’t have a lot of thunder. It was a very lackluster beginning. Hehehe Basically he said that I was his patient and had asked him to write. I guess that’s a pretty fair statement. He put in that he’d be writing some background on the therapeutic process and the psychiatric illness. That seems to cover about everything.

He introduced himself and we talked about it being ok that he recognize his position at UIC rather than putting down as we had coming from the Midwest and living in Chicago. Basically, it is our way of thinking that we don’t want to hide, we just don’t want to hurt sister, the center or anyone else affiliated with us. I could see a situation developing in that people start to shy away from us thinking that anything they say could be used in my writing and publicized. That’s a fair problem. We try to be fair and I don’t think we mention a lot of names, but invariably it’s been 7 years so there were some slippages. I like that we have opportunity to change some of that, but still stuff is out there.

I started to read some stuff from the manuscript that we printed out this week. I thought that we included more on our fellow Q than we would have liked now. Maybe it will get edited out in the next part. I don’t mean to be putting anyone down, at the time we wrote it we were most likely frustrated with things as written, but it’s not fair to use the writing to be hurting others. I hadn’t hurt her then on purpose, but I’d have a problem too if someone were writing negatively of me because what happens in one location doesn’t have to be broadcast to the whole world. I tried very hard to keep people not identified, but there is just one other Q. Most often we call her “the other Q.”

Hmm, I think we distracted ourselves here. Back to the more immediate thoughts. I appreciated that Dr. Marvin added some dates, because we weren’t sure where he was at which stages. I guess he completed his medical training in 1995 and his psychotherapy in 2003. We started seeing him in 1999, so we must have gone through his entire 4 years of residency with him. I do remember at one point him taking a big test and then knowing he passed it. He breaks his duties into clinical, administrative and teaching. I just felt so glad to know him.

He explained that we’d gone from Dr. Woollcott to him and that the trust developed with him aided the trust that developed between us and that was the most important part of having an alliance and that was a strong predictor of the sessions being successful. He talked about being misdiagnosed and we seemed to have read the same book as to how long people are generally in the process until someone figures out what’s happening. I remember somewhere in here too talking about the treatment at Rush and how they had not caught the multiplicity even with one of the big guys working there. Dr. Marvin said it still is based somewhat as to the therapists … I don’t remember his words, but basically, they have to be receptive to it or they will take the variables and fit them into another diagnoses. I never liked the doctor at Rush and she very much reminded me of the two terrible doctors in Winona. I got to the point of thinking I would never have a female treat me. The guy at the Mayo clinic was fair, but not very dynamic. He treated, but did not really talk.

There was one lady who was doing counseling work and she seemed to be nice. She only had her MA, but seemed genuinely interested in me as a person. It was very different from talking to a psychiatrist. She just seemed to be a nice lady who was getting by in life, but not at breakneck speed. She was just a nice lady. She even went to my graduation. That was something she didn’t have to do so made it special. I remember two things there. Just at one point the female psychology teacher who had been around so long and probably knew everything that Dr. L. did. I guess we could call her Dr. F. Anyway, she did stop by to say something nice after the ceremony. I don’t remember specifically, but remember feeling important by that honor and that it gave me some way of feeling a part of things. There was otherwise very little feeling of contact.

The other thing that I remember about the event was that the lady therapist I liked, gave me one of my stuffed bears. She had one just a little larger at her office and we always picked it up and stroked it as it sat on the arm of our chair. That was going beyond what anyone else has ever given me who had “taken care” of me.

Hmm, I think that we are still being a little scattered. That actually happened last night when we were with Dr. Marvin too. We had rumblings from both Mimi and Crystal. They just felt really strong as if they were near and had priorities we had to think through. Dr. Marvin was patient and let us deal with it out loud. I don’t remember exactly now what happened. I think it related to the question asked about if people are immediately aware as the new personality develops. It seemed that we expressed the few times we were aware of a difference within us. First between Sarah and Corey, and then between Casie and KC, and between Jamie and Kelsie and between Mimi and Crystal, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard these breakdowns before. To simplify Sarah was happy in a car going home from her best friend funeral at 8 and she was shamed by a teacher so that mopey Corey stepped out of the car when the car stopped. For Jamie it was being on a field where someone was doing a pretty good sexual number on us and we just remember getting bitten by all the mosquitoes. I guess we needed someone tougher to handle it.

For the Casies it was a matter of being recognized as a favorite of her grandfather’s in bed to being the very bad Casie who surprised the mother/grandmother shoppers coming home unexpectedly. For the Mimi and Crystal … we just know the part of Mimi being very still at 3 months so that she remained under the radar of her mother or grandmother and that of Crystal who thrashes with her whole body to ward off attack … I’m thinking that most touch by 8 months was pretty traumatic. There’s something in our memory too in that our mother had told us like by 18 months we were toilet trained. We would have been walking, but not real advanced. It would figure that taking care of us and my sister at that point would have been too much, especially because Scott was obviously already trained. Those are just random guesses though … No one will ever really know.

This is not something I want to go into right now … it was just at Dr. Marvin’s we felt that rigidness growing in our body as it displaced all kinds of energy outward … like when we were in the hospital and had been several times “taken down.” We were feeling it especially at our arms and waist level with our right arm crossing in front of our face, and twisting toward the left. It was a defensive movement. It seemed later Gracie was there and she just froze and numbed the body, and then it was Anna who came out to curl in a ball to avoid the more obvious blows. Seems like a terrible thing to have gone through. I really, really need to be moving on. I just want to add a cautious note as to wonder why we are going through this now. I know that we were thinking of parts last night, but I don’t know why we are feeling it.

I don’t know we’ve said before that most often with the system if there were ever questions that they should be asked and somehow they would be answered. This feels like one of those times that we are being given by Marie access to younger parts.

Our head bows a bit and our eyebrows push together. We recognize this as being KCs part and we know if we don’t back off she’s going to be forced out and we don’t need that to happen. We know also it would put us back on the couch and we’d lose several hours until she could sooth herself again. Rich has just left and the time is now 10:15 A.M. Ok, shhh shhh… Let’s move on ok, what else were we talking about that didn’t include younger parts?

Let us go back to the part written. It seems that Dr. Marvin had opened some kind of report on us. He said that we were having sad moods, suicidal thoughts, and changes in sleep, appetite, concentration and energy. He seemed to be saying … there was some part I guess in asking him how UIC knew where Rush didn’t again the female Rush doctor wasn’t as open or sympathetic with it. But as to how they could see it at UIC, he acknowledged that he wasn’t the one … it was Dr. Woollcott, but that the stance and I took it to be more behavioral but he said something like being able to read it on our body … I think he was talking about the subtle changes. I think he also saw the quickness in going from one position to another.

The conversation we had on personality was a little different. I seem to remember something about the change as being important from MPD to DID because there was actually only on personality, but that it had been somehow divided or fractured.

This part I’m really foggy on. Just a little bit ago though in relationship to the strongest memory on differences between Sarah and Corey, I can remember most likely because I AM Corey the feelings of studying the situation. Matter of fact that was something that Dr. Marvin said in that even the very youngest of us would have been very intelligent to be observing or picking up clues in our environment that would have allowed us to basically self teach ourselves without conscious recognition of what was happening.

It’s just with me I remember the protective feelings I first had. If we hadn’t of changed then Sarah would have been wounded. That couldn’t be. It seemed like one of my most important lifelong tasks have been to protect the happy parts of ourselves and to project outward a representation of ourselves as being very sullen and depressed. I was more appropriate to our life after Sarah died. It allowed people to understand us. They couldn’t deal with our happiness which we felt because we knew Sarah and could hold her within us tightly. That didn’t jive with their feelings. We became the one they could handle and it lasted for about 3 years. Obviously, Kelsie and Jamie came out within those times too, but to handle other things. Kelsie was like Annimi in that we had a public part to be expressing. The one where we didn’t have to be sullen, but had to be more responsible for experiences like work, girl scouts, confirmation, etc. And, then as expressed up above … the bad girl was reinvented from KC and Lissa to Jamie.

Wow. We are really being the chatty Cathy today aren’t we? Let’s go back to the paper. Maybe though this is the earnest reason why Dr. Marvin shouldn’t rush through this, we seem to be having a lot of conscious thoughts and feelings as to the things he is saying. He seemed himself to slip off in trying to address society’s non-validation of the disorder or at least circumstance of dissociation.

Perhaps part of that is that multiples along the way create such different models of the disorder. You can’t really teach a four year old – important because that’s probably about when identity is being developed, but you can’t teach someone to be a multiple, it’s an experience to her that she seems or he seems to develop through. It comes to her in an explanation as to her personal experience. Why would all multiples need a Crystal part in that maybe there wasn’t an extreme violation at that 8 month period. Hmm, just remembering now when we first talked to Dr. C. I just remember that he had demanded that we write some kind of paper apologizing for our witch character and he seemed afterward interested in an infant character who seemed to come out periodically under certain stresses. I remember being upstairs at the Douglas house and curling into the defense ball. We would have to go back to the I Ching and Coopers papers to figure out what all was happening then, but it’s not something I have to do today and certainly not right now. It seems that Rich is right in that we are all over the place this morning and feeling very volatile.

In the process of things this morning, we did get a note from CS. And, we got a note from Linda. Linda would like things to be smoother, and CS seems to be putting out barbs, though it’s coming off as if she was the “good one.” In even expressing anything as good or bad, I know that it’s part of us being in a younger state. Maybe I should look at that a second to clear it from my head. Basically, it comes down to all of a sudden she had a need for us to be in a regular relationship although she’s done nothing throughout this long period of time to warrant being related to her. She’s been on her own island where she only needed to regress. Everything else was dismissed while she was in this self-absorbed space and now she seems to be pushing that all of a sudden she is better.

I have very mixed feelings as to whether or not I want to go to the event. I haven’t felt close to Emily for several months, Linda hasn’t been going because of other commitments, CS has been in poor health for the better part of the last two months and most likely before that, but then again … there would be the twins. I would like to think of higher thoughts of the others too to pull it together, I just don’t know what to do with my thoughts of CS. They aren’t exactly clear it’s just a strong feeling of not wanting to be relating to her. I feel it every day I write in our shared space.

I understand you haven’t been sewing, but then perhaps you didn’t see that I’d only done about two weeks sewing out of the 8 weeks you are mentioning. You say that I’ve been sewing for a couple months, but you’ve been so regressed into your smaller at home/hospital world, you really don’t know what’s gone on. You said it’s rare, but I haven’t sewn now again for a week. I didn’t understand the part of you saying better watch out. I didn’t figure that you were talking about yourself … it had seemed some kind of warning message to me. Thank you for explaining that. I think in some ways you would be happier if we were sewing rather than writing, but in saying this I know you will say you need to do whatever is right for you. You have all the right answers, you just need the invitation to say the words, but I think inside you there is another CS who competes to keep me in a sewing world rather than a writing world because then we can be closer. In this situation we’re thinking the writing part is like the unwanted mistress.

Book 2 is finished being written, which automatically places it in the publishing Q. But, before you publish you need to edit. And, in our case we’ve said a few times that we need to edit it 3-4 times before even giving it to our edit-helping person. We plan to progress the book so it can be in the publishing place (where we have enough money to pay for the service) by sometime early February. This would be a good thing for you to remember, because it would show us that you are trying to listen to some parts of life outside yourself. This is the biggest most important thing we’ve ever done. It needs some attention.

I do feel guilt and awkward feelings about being at the retreat. The easiest thing would be to ask if you could get your money back. In saying this though I feel sadness for not being there because it was something I enjoyed very much. And, I know there are several people I would miss not getting the time to know. I think the best way I could explain to you and you and Linda about my strangeness toward you CS right now is that for more than 2 months you retreated into your own world and really didn’t keep up very well although I’m sure you read messages. You didn’t interact in any kind of way that wasn’t us looking at you as someone’s patient. I see that you are trying to get out of that now and I think it’s because you have many positive things ahead with the sewing. And, I know that you want me to be a part of that. BUT, there is a lot of trust lost in the relationship from you having turned off most of the things that were going on outside your house, like me. That withdrawal you did closes doors between you and people. It seems that this has affected me more than the others.

In your absence I’ve worked out other ways for my life to continue and prosper. As to the writing … that is not new I’m working on my 8th year of blogging. It is much longer than the relationship between us. The publishing aspect is knew and seems to be something that eludes you. So I’m having this whole other life that doesn’t include you because you’ve stood your distance. Even in the reading of the work which we gave you … you’ve stood your distance. I’m thinking that we are in your life because you recognize that’s somehow a good idea. But, I don’t know if you recognize how hard it is on me when sometimes you choose to fill up the relationship and other times you don’t. And in the middle you confuse the situation as if none of this is happening, but I’m telling you it is … there’s a chasm between us. So on the outside I should be saying fine its great your back into a more out loud life, but I’m here thinking what am I getting back into. How much of myself do I want to put into a relationship that is going to turn itself on and off at will. It’s very centered around you if you feel good or not and in the meantime it makes me feel like my life isn’t very important or at least isn’t very important to you because it’s so easily dismissed.

I think in general you understand very little of me, mostly only that part that comes to your house to sew. For example, you make statements like with Rich as if it suddenly appears to you that we are romantic, but that’s been something expressed since the first day we started talking again. It’s like you read the cliff notes to catch up. That’s a nice part, don’t get me wrong, but we’ve gone over and over this … I don’t want to be turned on and off at your will while waiting for you to get better enough to be communicating on an out loud equal basis. I think as long as you remain in the patient mode … it will never be an equal or possible relationship. I guess that’s my problem then … I need you to not disappear every time you don’t feel good. I really don’t know who you are. It’s not a very satisfying relationship that more conversation doesn’t occur. I don’t mean it to be like I’m picking on you all the time. I am asking if you want a relationship it has to be more and not just because it be nice to go to the retreat. I don’t know how much of that person who would be at the retreat … just isn’t a patient looking for sympathy. That would make me cringe. I wouldn’t mind though meeting the person who is invested in life and will stand as an equal to all those at that meeting. Does any of this make sense?

Ok, that should be enough now to get me in trouble. I didn’t mean to, but a couple more paragraphs were accidently brought over to the correspondence out. I can’t take it back there’s no button that erases words sent. So I guess I’ll have to take it whatever gets sent back. What was sent over was anything from the paragraph on getting the note from CS and Linda forward to here. Probably it’s more like insert two feet in and kick. I’m not feeling like we are a particularly nice person. The worst of it I suppose is in having the thought and then expressing we think my sister is self-absorbed and I’m not sure if I want to be relating to her. This is probably her worst nightmare, but I’m at that point where we’ll have to wait and see. I don’t think she usually picks up on most the conversation that we give her. Probably there’s a good part of it where we are just moaning and groaning.

I think too there’s this bad part of late where we’ve wanted to have someone to talk to and call up and chat and such and there’s such a big disappointment that CS falls so short. How can anyone have a conversation where the majority of the talk is about the dog, cleaning or her husband’s work? I don’t know we’re about as down in the dumps with this relationship as we will ever go.

Like it was before … with this too we need to be pressing on, so back to the Dr. M’s writing.

I think we passed on the part about the effects of multiplicity on relationships, work, etc. I think that the above is a pretty clear representation of what it is like to have relationships being affected by a multiple. We keep screaming we want equal relationships and we don’t seem to be getting very far. At least with Linda there’s a feeling that we both have work, home, family, chores, socializing, sewing, etc. There’s some thoughts as to what she’s prioritizing at any one point. I know where she’s at in that if she’s tired she says it and if she’s happy that gets played out too. CS you get this feeling as if there isn’t a problem in the world. Ok, we’re not going back into that … as to the problem of trying to relate to a multiple? I think that we are wiry and over-intellectual and we have a lot of emotions and we must be as confusing as hell. Lord help anyone trying to talk to us, because when one part is through the next wants up … we’re very demanding that way. AND, for sure the majority of us don’t want to become my sister’s nanny. I can hear her say I don’t want that! But, then we hear of a life of limitation and defeat. Ok, here do I need to pick you up again? Why am I so evil and non-understanding? I don’t know it is just us. We’re as pushy as hell. I think there’s a big part that cries we need friends, and then there is this other part that says, yeah just try to get close. We are very demanding and we want something closer to perfect, because that’s what we see. We see what’s wrong we pick up cues, and we want to change things. We don’t ever want to settle. I’m not interested in mediocre. Does this make ANY sense???

That’s one of the more annoying things Dr. M. said last night. It should be annoying, but was. Just that we are feeling it now not last night directly. Basically, he said because multiples are soooo intelligent, they pick up the cues from other. So the other might be saying one thing and everything in his or her demeanor is pointing to something else, but to communicate to that person. You might as well be the devil because want people want consciously is a lot different than all the other Q’s emit. I could see us learning not to cry. I know I’ve gone over this over and over again. Sometimes the reward of not crying is that no one is going to come over and be mean to you. But, then you have to deal with those feelings of being a ghost. How does multiplicity happen?

I’m thinking there must be some subconscious level where you think if I’m a certain way, my needs aren’t going to be met. Some needs take priority over other needs.

I know that from as early on we started stealing food … in a sense we’re still stealing food when Rich leaves us alone. I won’t embark on all that was eaten this morning. It’s like part of the stealing is hording. We’re afraid of not having food … or maybe more of being hungry. It can lead you to other conclusions I’m sure. Just because though someone is sending out the vibes that may or may not be negative on what they need to relate to you, it doesn’t mean that those other parts of you go away. It means they are stored up in other places of you and they come out when it is safe. Like I knew that Lissa was silent, but when my mother got the encyclopedias – for her, but we used to sneak read them, Lissa would come out and learn when no one was around. She couldn’t afford to be curious with the family, but left to her own devises her mind never stops. Henry could run and chase other boys at night, but Lissa was trapped in the house in the basement, dining room, or bedroom. She had to make do.

But, it wasn’t a good idea to let others know that we were curious and intelligent, because the last thing we needed was for those encyclopedias or other avenues of intelligence to be taken away. If we figured something out … it was like hording too in that we didn’t want it taken away. It seems that over the years we’ve become very territorial. I think there was some danger represented in knowing how frustrated CS is being with the writing. That’s like going to outlast the relationship if we had to choose. I’m afraid there is something enough in that last message though not thought out at the time, but is pretty much saying to CS that the writing is a lot older than both the sewing and CS put together, so she might as well get out of the thought of its separation. I know she’s been thinking if I can only get “past” the writing then I will be more available to her and that world. But, my mind is too busy to play around in space that could only be hoped for. If there’s nothing going on I want to move on. It’s like being at her house with nothing to do is tortuous. But, I would think that’s the situation no matter where you put us. We really hate though to be waiting around for someone or something else.

I think that was the lesson of our horoscope yesterday. It was telling us that we had to wait basically I think because the ball was in someone else’s hand. Dr. Marvin’s to be sure. I think we went through the part where we were disappointed not more was done, but we knew there would be that potential. We tried not to be blown away by it. I took some encouragement that Dr. Marvin took a couple of notes as he was writing. Maybe he needed us to talk as some kind of bridge between his assignment and what our expectations were.

I think we didn’t get too far on the questions though because of some of this other stuff, like in talking about how unaware my mother was and in dealing with younger parts. There is a lot more going on than the surface would suggest.

Hmm, seems like we’re at some kind of a mental breaking point. I know that we’ll monitor the email waiting for something back, but we never know if it’s coming back or if so how long it will take. The Oprah part isn’t to be expected for 2-5 days. It’s supposed to be a download I think but it takes them some time getting out the codes.

I’m thinking that I have to be working pretty soon on the edits or nothing will get done. It’s already 12:15 pm and Rich is expected home at 1:30 pm. We were having a discussion around getting state license renewal of our plates. First he said that we would both go and I said we can do this at the currency exchange and then he said we’d have to go like way south some place over 50 blocks away, and then he thought I should do it by myself, and then he said well if he’s going to have to help I’d have to be ready by 1:30 P.M. But, none of that was satisfactory. My way of looking at it is I will pay the $2-3 charge of getting it done on my time at the local currency exchange. Ok, ok good … today they are open from 8-8 and tomorrow they are open from 8-5. That’s plenty of time so that I don’t have to stop doing everything immediately to do all that. I will do it, but it will be in my time frame not Rushy Rich’s. Hmpf!

Hmm, has that almost put us at the end? Oh surely we can think of more than this?

We’re feeling an affinity toward the writing. This seems to be our safest place. I know that we’ve done ok Whoops I know we better call Carolyn! She’s leaving early today!

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