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Dissociative Identity Disorder Blog

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Saturday, December 25, 2010

It is soooo Christmasey Eve!

Good morning and MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!!! It’s us again and here we are all together and there’s Christmas music playing there’s still time to write – though starting late, and I’ve got two cozy kitties curled up next to me. Rich was here but in a whirlwind of Christmas goodies thoughts, he whisked his big heart away to the grocery store and we’re flying! I’m thinking we’re taking ourselves off coffee at this point. I only drank the normal half pot, but my brain is so jingly I don’t know how the cogs are still managing to turn. It’s now 11 A.M.

So wow … where do we start? I guess I’m going to do better with recent stuff first, so like what’s been happening? Hmm, Rich was home later last night, but not too late to party a little. He came in with Eggnog and SOME thing!

Pshwooh! We didn’t even NEED that to get happy. He came and sat over by me and said we hadn’t been spending enough time together and I turned so gooey I almost fell off the couch. I think what happened is that we’re both finally feeling good again after each having colds since Saturday. It must have been a small bug. First we got it and then he did and there was no Mickey Mousing around if you know what I mean. HMPF!

Ok, moving along as if on a slider floor. Hmm, we seem to be more slippery today than normal … where does THAT come from?

We had a good talk this morning, but it was pretty much me getting sillier and sillier … there was way too much cookie and pie talk to be thinking serious. PLUS … we’re on vacation now! WooHOO. I was pretty much counting down the minutes … It was fairly quiet at the center because the party had been last Friday and nothing special was happening. Some of the staff turned up to say Merry Christmas and there was a few presents. I got a Mary and Jesus glass globe, and a quilting book, and some candy and some chocolate and almond bark pretzels. Those were nice additions to my life. I thought the globe was too nice and I should re-gift it to someone, but Rich says that it’s Christmasey and we are not Christmasey enough so that it is going to stay.

I thought I had some stuff up in the cupboard, but now that I’m thinking about it. I probably DID give stuff away. There is one Christmas ornament I really like … it’s small, but it’s a five inch three-piece ornament that says, “JOY” and in it is the baby Jesus and an angel on each of the two other letters. That decoration is three feet from me on the bookshelves in direct line item view and it stays up 356 days a year. If we all just practiced Joy a little bit each day the world would be a whole lot better.

Ask the kitties! Bob sent over a big box of these miniature size kitty foods in a can. Thought we’d just got a discount at the bank! They were like all over it. Happy kitties, happy kitties!

Another thing to be happy about is that most the people we’d sent out books too were reporting getting them yesterday just in time for Christmas … That made me SUPER happy! Most were excited to read them, but that part makes us a little more nervous. We still aren’t in the know about how people in general are going to take our books … both the people who know us and the people that don’t know us. I want to be successful, but I don’t know if we’re going to be understood by people or if the books are worth … ok, ok … you get the drift … we’re just a little negative part of thinking that good things really aren’t going to be happening in our life, but here it is!

Last night we were with Dr. M. and was trying to prove some point and in our frustration it was like YAH! It must be right, because dammit there’s a finished book on the table! I really don’t remember the context, but it was funny. I’m sure it’s not going to happen again that we come to that line of thinking and Dr. Marvin has a copy on the table. Most the time book thoughts seem to be more virtual. There’s a space in our brain not fully wrapped around the literalness of there being a book. I think the closest we get is that we check almost every day and sure enough there it is over at Amazon.

Today just I’m in the top 20% of books on Dissociative Identity Disorder and sometimes I’m better and sometimes not, but that seems about where we stay.

Ok, not remembering where we were going with that … better read back.

Hmm, well maybe we haven’t gotten too far into our thoughts yet. Did you know that it was snowing out? Yup, yup. Did we mention Rich was Shopping!?? We actually went last night just to work on the part where there was going to be some Christmas presents for Rich to open. Nothing big … we can’t of course stand so long so we did our shopping at Walgreens. I’m pretty sure that most of you have an idea of the kinda stuff that’s there.

But, we tried to shop specific to Rich. We got him some under the hood type stuff, but then there was special stuff like his athletic tape and something on his dash to hold his new phone AND well some happy Rich stuff … but that’s enough of that … oh the tape? He wraps up before games and we got him some toys … just a couple food items, not sure what else … but there was a bottle of barefoot wine in there.

It was just the happy kind of random shopping that multiples do … you know you see it and think THAT will make him smile! It did confuse us that after all this time we haven’t exactly picked up what kind of deodorant or after shave he uses. Silly Ann … usually Rich does the shopping. BUT, it was the thought that counted. AND, he got a twirly toothbrush. He NEVER gets the fun stuff!

Ok, shhh … that’ll be a surprise, right?

We found that he wasn’t coming home for a couple hours when we called him, so we got out the wrapping stuff and fixed up the presents already. We usually have a pretty good time wrapping presents. When you are at a store the trip goes so fast, you never really remember just what it was that you bought so wrapping presents gives you that one last chance to look at them one last time … and all the time you are thinking how the other person is going to like it or if you think you got just the right thing for him. I wish we had a lot more money, but I’m pretty sure the electrical bill will wait an extra month. That just be the nature of the beast.

You’d heard the part about me getting the cold and then about Tuesday Rich getting the cold so we weren’t moving around too much here. I stayed home on Monday and Tuesday and the big deal was in virtual shopping for Rich’s phone. After giving us a very hard start-up on the project he finally started really having some fun with it. We were both talking and breathing phones for quite some hours, and even further into the day … he’d call and ask a question about it or perhaps I’d find something and I’d share back.

We narrowed it down a bit or at least tried. He needed to make a decision to Go with Sprint or stay with Verizon, and from there he had to decide whether his Smart phone was going to have a keyboard or not. He came to the decision the hard keyboard was redundant if the phone had one on the screen. We weren’t getting far fast with the phone companies. So in the end we were between Sprint’s EVO and Epic and Verizon’s Galaxy S series or Droid X. We shopped on Wednesday at both locations. We got terrible service at Sprint and very good service at Verizon. That did count. And, eventually Rich went with the Verizon phone. He got the Droid X.

The salesman was the manager and he knew how to push buttons … what sold Rich over was that the salesman was showing him something and he pushed an icon with a microphone and said 2-3 words and in an instant the phone googled his items and there he was … Rich about dropped his pants. It was a deal maker.

Rich and us knew at that move it was no going back to the other store – a different sprint store although the girl at the bad store did manage to tell us that Sprint now had swipe. Wow that knocked my knees

Just checked all that out … couldn’t find off the top where to get it or how … I’m hearing it’s supposed to be an auto thing … to many of the links we were picking up were old – from the summer. There were two newer ones, but they didn’t have too much info.

Rich just came back … heaven what have we been doing. I know we wrote to Linda, but other than that? Not much. He came in bustle grouchy. I knew it was going to happen after he stuck his head around the corner saying, I thought you were going to move just a little. MY GOSH … don’t you know where my minds been since he left? We’ve been all over the place. He steps in the room and expects we’re going to change over our interests, but we’re still doing stuff.

Then he through at me a UPS envelope … he knew I was waiting for that. It is the package with my fabric for Joe’s birthday present. I want to start that right away, but … hmmm, wouldn’t it be nice to give to him early?

Dear dear … now Rich is rushing me again. We paid him a courtesy visit out to the kitchen, but he started giving us tasks and it was like WAIT WAIT … TOO MUCH! So now we are out here hiding again. We know what we have to do, but it’s not time yet. We barely wrote anything  We haven’t even talked about how beautiful Joes fabrics are. We keep stopping to touch and feel them. I LOVE new fabrics! Especially the kinds you pick out. I haven’t been disappointed by Jinny Beyer’s yet. Damn here comes Rich.

Oh. He was just doing something nice by bringing flowers in … he put them by the TV. Well that was nice and now we’ve got all three fabrics. The black had gotten here earlier. It’s going to be a really nice combination. I can hardly wait, but by then things will be neater around here. I know I know … someone has to splash around that pixie dust. BUT NOT ME NOW!

Shhh, shhh girls don’t get in an uproar. As far as we’re concerned there is 4 ½ hours to finish things and the picking up isn’t going to be more than 30-50 minutes. Mostly it’s just moving around all the Christmas presents around here. How did THAT happen!?? I guess it wouldn’t hurt to be setting out some plans how we are going to move this congestion. It’s happening in all four rooms so to move one thing is putting something else in the way. Hmm do you remember the olden days when we used to talk about FlyLady? Sure be nice to hear back from her one day. She has to work some magic into our lives.

She does like to say don’t worry, just jump in where you are. I think the first thing I will do is take my sewing things back to the back room, but I’ll have to move some stuff in there to get to the new stuff.

Shoot shoot … this is going to be hard. Both the gray and maroon has little parts of smeared in black and it looks so tough next to the real black. It’s just so gorgeous! I’m such a sucker for color … I think we’re going to be ok moving around in the house pretty soon, but we don’t want anyone barking orders at us. Ok, we’re thinking maybe in about 20 minutes if King Tut in there will give us a little break. He’s still out in the kitchen sorting through stuff he went downstairs to get some more stuff and we asked him to remember the pretzels, because we will put them out tonight.

Rich has got some idea that when I move my sewing machine he can move the drafting table next to the glass doors and that we’ll be able to put something on it so we can fill it up with Christmas presents. That’s actually a pretty cool idea. Then in some of the hours to fill, maybe we can start and help with wrapping some of the packages. Most his are for his kids, but I have some wrapping to do myself. I think that maybe I’m going to have to give Joe and Cari some fabric that’s going to LOOK like their items.

Remember? We still got the wedding blanket to catch up with. It’s something I’m going to need getting excited again about. Just been out of sorts since this book thing came up, I’m thinking I should really be retired so I can do everything. *sigh* Wouldn’t that be a nice dream?

Hmm, 16 minutes … maybe I better put something in about school … I have been working the last couple days of doing it. The time we were sick we forgot all about the part where there was something else going on. We’re still a little worried about the school in that I’m feeling guilty for doing work. I think everyone that was going to be in the class – about 18-20 people did the first lesson and about 80% might have gotten done with the second lesson, but then it went down to about 45% in the third lesson and about 20% are done with the fourth lesson and I’m the only one that did the fifth lesson AND we’re supposed to be starting the sixth lesson today.

It just doesn’t make sense why people are so far behind. The guilty part is that mine might be showing as being well done, but I couldn’t help that part … I just did how we do things. I didn’t think of trying to show anyone off.

I don’t know. Feel kind of terrible and terrible for the teacher. She hasn’t said anything to anyone, but I don’t know what she must be thinking.

Is it like this with other classes? I’m thinking she’s been around long enough to see all varieties of classroom activity, but there’s another part.

I don’t feel like I’m getting my share of people to talk to about stuff, either my stuff or theirs. I did run into one woman, but she didn’t seem to appreciate me. I’m missing out on peer support.

I think I had advantages … in that I’ve worked Master’s level work on-line so I’m more used to the format and deadlines, where others might not be. But, I think each of them are in here because they want to think about developing their business so in that respect, they aren’t doing anyone a favor. If they aren’t confident enough to work on their own businesses … I’m sorry just grumpy … I wish people were doing more together. But, there’s sure no problem getting the teacher to look at your work … I’m glad she has SOMEthing to do when she’s here.

Hmm, more Rich encounters. He came in to do his lunch. He was eating leftovers and he had to have a fishy show on, but I don’t know how much got watched because we were talking about Christmasey stuff. His daughter called to talk over something and said that Rich’s mom is still mad. I guess she’s not talking to anyone including Jillian. Rich seems more calm about the waves … like it’s just happening and he doesn’t want to get really involved, but he was the one to tell Jillian. Yeeks! Rich has got a back-up plan and that’s good and I think what’s relaxing him. He says he’ll just invite people over here … That’s fine with me. BUT, I’m pretty sure the mom is going to come out of it. I don’t know why its so hard for people to get along.

Of course I get along with everyone … ok, well let’s not go there.

Well a little … We’re still having problems with CS. She’s being very one-tracked and thinking mostly about an inheritance. I’m so way sick of that … I did give her a call yesterday to see if there’d been any progress. At one point I even asked. Do you have anything on your mind besides the money.

She just sounded then confused like there wasn’t any other worthy conversations. When she jumped suddenly over to Thom being somewhere there was a war easier then rolling toilet paper … HMPF! Yeah like there’s no way we’re playing that game. You gotta pretend it’s of interest first. I just don’t get her.

But, Dr. Marvin said boundaries. So we’re focusing on that. I’m going to give it ten minute intervals and if she can’t sort to some business more important by then then I’m just not going there. I can seeing the two or maybe now 3-5 of them jumping through the same tired conversations trying to progress something. I think that Nancy is there now and I’m thinking that Nathan and Dani were over last night. I hope it worked out. CS is saying she’s going to be moving into the MIL house with Nancy for a while. I think it’s under the pretense of sharing responsibility, but pretty much I think it’s just no one trusts that the other is going to get more. That’s enough of that though. All speculation on my part. AND, we’re over our self-imposed ten minute boundary.

I would like not to end things here though. Rich is taking a 15 minute nap so I know we have to wind things down. I am not going to like it if he stays in here to clean because he’s too bossy and acts like we’re an appendage instead of cleaning because it’s my house too. But, I could lick his ear in a second. I think that’s a barometer we use. Could we reach out and lick his ear or are we more upset than that. Usually we’re pretty good. But, we have our scarier stories. Fortunately, not now - It is the most wonderful time of the year.

You wanna hear something? It’s already later, much later about 7:30 P.M.

Before I think it was something after 1 P.M. SOOO now we’re like after the eating part of the party and to the point of Bob and Rich are watching a fishy show. It seems to have calmed them down some, but then all of a sudden they get a little crazy. That be fisherman for you. Hehehe

We have been having a very nice time … there was soooo much food.

Bob is so much fun to have over. When we showed him where the quilt was he staged that he was down on one knee having a heart attack. Poor Rich was like hey if that’s a real one you better tell me know. He was playing but it was real cute. He gave us a gift too … he gave us some champagne and I thought that was a fine idea … so like lets drink it right away, but you know stalwart Rich. BUT, they let me have some afterward. But one bottle three ways it’s not going make me lost going to the bedroom or nothing. And, then later we gave Bob one of our books, and then Rich gave him a book too.

Rich’s boat was Fishing for Dummies. *Gigglin* that went over real well.

That’s what got the both of them into fishing again. Bob was like reading stuff to Rich and I was thinking … hmm, this might be a good time to put away some stuff. I took off most of it and left the cookies and candy. You name it it’s on that table.

Rich got into a real baking mood. He made peanut butter cookies for Bob, and then he made these toffee bars and then he made a peacon pie. Did I tell you already he was going to do all that stuff. It was like the most amazing display. We helped cut the cheese, meat and we put out the crackers and stuff. There was a lot of stuff … shrimp too! Then Rich was thinking it wouldn’t be enough so he got some pizza too.

The disappointing part was that Marcia didn’t come over with Bob. She’s still at her mother’s house. I think Bob is picking her up later, but I don’t think she’s coming over any time soon. We’ll probably send packages home with Bob. She got a book and chocolates. We’ve been pretty happy all day.

Hmm, ‘cept for one part … Rich was like micromanaging me again so that every little thing I was doing he was correcting me … so someone didn’t like that so well and he got scolded back. I think afterward he tried to be more careful, but that didn’t last long. A lot of times we like to do stuff on our own because even if it isn’t the perfect way to do something it’s at least our way and there’s a smooth part to not having to readjust. Pretty much because if you were really doing that many things wrong, you would have to worry about why you bother getting up. AND, I’ve grown to be over 50 making that many mistakes that’s something hard to take. Just think how many mistakes we didn’t get corrected.

Ok, enough of that. Poor Bob is following around Missy trying to catch her.

I don’t think he’s going to win out on that shot. She’s not running, but she is staying pretty far ahead of him … just with her saunter.

Now we’ve had to pause to pet both cats. They are letting us know they were pretty put out with us. I think they felt they had to hide and then that turns out to be our fault.

Bob’s over here now and we’ve got a kitty between us that he’s petting. He said the other chair wasn’t as comfortable.

Ok, so that’s that … what else should we be talking about. Think we about got the kitty subject covered. Nice … Chief finally laid down. I haven’t heard from the boys, I’m not real sure what all they are going to be doing today. I know they were with family. I’m not feeling real bad about that.

I’m much more into Christmas morning. I think after Bob leaves today we’re going to be doing a lot of package wrapping with Rich. He cleaned off the kitchen table and instead filled up half the bedroom with stuff that he’s giving out. I think this is the one night of the year Rich gets us to bed without too many problems. He just has to say something like what? You don’t mind missing Santa? Like oh my God do we jump into bed.

I can’t believe it’s almost here. Christmas morning is just the best day of the whole year! Oh I forgot one of the gifts that Rich is getting is an omelet maker. That might turn out to be a good deal. Bob has invited us over for pancakes, but I can be pretty sure we’ll be hanging out in our pajamas all day. We think we know what Rich is getting us, and it’s going to be soooo cool if it is. I think we talked about this already something about being on a short list?

Let’s see did I do all my regular thoughts? I don’t think I told you yet how cool it was to be at Dr. Marvin’s last night … we were pretty sure he knew what the box was that we handed him and he asked if he should wait or open it and it was like OPEN IT! We directed him to the saying part and he said he liked it … he leafed through it enough to be polite. I know by now that there isn’t anybody stops to just read a book when they get it. It’s like you pick it up and test the weight, flip through the pages once or twice and then it’s all over. Well except Bob … he was interested in what dummies know about fishing.

But, anyway, Dr. Marvin was in kinda shakey form when we first came in … he was having trouble focusing. Later when we called him on it, he acknowledged that it had been kinda rough because he had sent everyone home about 2 P.M.
so he was handling most of the office on his own. I’m pretty sure that I’m his last client, but it’s still a very long day. He said that he was going to be staying in town, but that he was going to be off through Tuesday. I knew he was looking forward to getting home too. A little further into the session I think he started to return more to his effervescent self.

He seems to have been helping us quite a bit with our confidence of late. I think it was the third week that we’d been in school so he was getting parts of assignments. This last couple of days we had been working on an assignment where we had looked at goals, customers … maybe we told you about this part … we had this part explaining services and product and then how that part affected the customer. Later our teacher said in a nice way that our 2nd part was too close to the 1rst part and she said the second part should be more of an emotional response to the product.

I hadn’t gotten that do the reading, but this teach seems to be right on in explaining herself so we figured we’d have to think it through, but there had been so much done that we knew we wouldn’t do it over again. I don’t like the idea that I might miss out on something that she wanted me to learn, but I was pretty well burnt out with it.

Think was that with Dr. Marvin he was doing a pretty job at calming us down in that we were thinking that someone wasn’t writing right. We told him that it didn’t make sense and it was a language we didn’t understand, but then he looked at it and said that it was fine. There was really no where we could go with that.

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