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Dissociative Identity Disorder Blog

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Monday, January 31, 2011

Saying our sorry's here

Good morning. This is us again. I’m not sure if we’re back with any better sense of normalcy. We just finished writing to Linda and we’d gotten to the part of thinking that maybe some of these ideas of living in my mother’s basement came from spending so much time there as a kid. It’s a little scary thinking that our brain is somehow trying to do this all over again. Maybe there’ is something in the human psyche of trying to repeat and correct things that happened in the past, or maybe it is something more on the crazy side in punishing yourself … maybe then stepping in to save us too?

If that be the case we’re already trying to put in a hand to reach down and grab us back to a more normal plan. Even though as we sit here now trying to find the normalcy of it … we’re being satisfied with one part of our brain in looking over the diagram we had made yesterday of the remodeled basement. It gets worse in that we sent the picture to my mother with a note. I’ll have to get that now to see how bad … wait.

Oh Lordy … It says that if you were considering remodeling the downstairs I’d consider a move. Where is this going? We should be sending something out so she knows this is not possible, but like so many other threats to leave us (other parts) is the sense that if we do something against another part, then that part will rebel and put us in the more precarious position. I’m thinking maybe we are in over our head with this one.

There that will help. We forwarded the picture of the basement and told Dr. Marvin just that some parts of us are planning a mutiny. That is going to need following up when we are a little more progressed down the line. We need to somewhere get from here to there.

It shouldn’t surprise us that we drew a diagram in that that’s all we’ve been doing over the last year was to be collecting pictures of the house. It was very threatening yesterday when Rich said that we were going to have to find a house nowhere near the cost of the ones we were dreaming of but that it would come so much further down the line. Then to make things a little scarier was that one of his mother’s and Bud’s friends Jeff had a house he was trying to sell way below market. At first Rich thought it was 6 or so acres, but now he’s thinking it’s much less. It is along the Fox River just a short couple blocks distance from his mother’s. It came up while we were there again. It’s suppose to be a “nice little house” What we know of nice little houses where his mom lives is like being in a trailer house with basements that flood. NOT SATISFACTORY. And, then what we learned is that sometime in the last couple of days Rich had stopped to look at it … at least from the outside … he walked around the property line.

I think there are parts of us that are really panicking. He says it’s bigger than our place. But we’re talking of going from like 900 square feet to 1200 square feet and nowhere close to our bottom limit of like 2400 square feet. Some of the houses we’ve looked at are like 3200 square feet.

Wow … didn’t see that one coming. I somehow disengaged and found ourselves back in bed with Sweetie. We were just going to nuzzle him for a moment, but then we found ourselves falling to sleep and didn’t get up until a couple hours later. It’s now about time to get going, but we thought we’d wrap things up.

We’ve gotten up now about a half an hour ago … It’s about 7:30 A.M. now. Rich and us talked a bit, but not a whole lot … he had to wake me up. We helped get his weight watchers counter to his cell phone and by then we’d lost track of him. He’s on his computer. We did take our medicine and since we were out of eggs, we substituted with the last of the Cheerios.

There’s supposed to be the biggest storm coming in that Chicago has ever seen. I can’t imagine it now looking outdoors. There is a bit of a wind, but we’re supposed to have 2-3 inches by this afternoon, and then the second wave will hit Tuesday afternoon and go through Wednesday, but they are saying 18-24 inches.

WOW! That be something too! Maybe then we could have a snow day on Wednesday.

It’s a toss-up if we had snow day off whether I would work or not. Most likely I would do 50-50. Just trying to get some paperwork taken care of, but if we needed to contact DSPs that be better we get going on that by today or tomorrow. We didn’t get to what we hoped over the weekend. It seems we’re remaining pretty strong as to having things done on their proper days. But, this is only early in on that whole phenomenon to trust much without some serious effort.

Hmm, we must have disappeared for a while because Vickie had to stop and ask us how we were doing. I guess sometimes when we are more concentrated in one world we then get disconnected from other worlds. Trying to catch up a bit – we wrote her a short note.

I did want to say that we did get to some sewing type work over the weekend. On Saturday, we did some of the cutting for Joe and Cari’s quilt, and then on Sunday we did another row on the scrap quilt. That felt good to get done. Maybe on Friday we did some of my Grandma’s scraps too. I’m not sure about that part just now that we’ve done them in the last 2-3 days. It makes us feel less crazy when we are working on that sort of thing.

Not much else to say … should be getting to work stuff … I want to be the responsible one. I don’t necessarily want to be done writing, but maybe we’ll get a chance to do some of that with the client’s work. For now … we are signing off for a bit, k? Oh oh shower too, weren’t we going to be doing that AND getting dressed? Ok, girls slow down one thing at a time. Why don’t we post and then bring up some work on the work computer. Time to dip our toe in the water, right?

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