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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Wasn't there something we were going to do?

Good morning … this is me. We’re trying to warm up. Today we are wearing a turtle neck and we’ve got a blanket over our lap. It’s still feeling cold in my bones. I’m not sure what to do next, though I’m thinking it might be wise to turn up heat. Yup yup … it’s within my power. Not sure if to my boss’ liking, but I have to be thinking something besides being cold.

There we set her a couple more degrees warmer, and we ate a fruit cup … not sure if that will help, but it made me feel better. We’re up to 0, 2, 2, & 2 points …

AHA! SIX for the day … it is not bad. We also put on some music to distract our mind. We’re listening to a song track called 100 ultimate New Age Songs. It started with Enya … it can’t be too bad. We tried listening to George Winston, but he was a little too much with his repetitive sounds over and over again. I see he is in this current mix too, but maybe songs that won’t hurt our ears!

Not much done this morning yet other than writing to Linda. She is going to WW this morning. I wish I were going with her. It be a good thing to do in the middle of the week. I have to remember that they have evening sessions too – mostly about 5:30 P.M., but lately we’ve been sleeping through that time or wrapped up under the blanket at home. Last night we fell asleep hiding under the blanket while Rich was there and then he left and we fell asleep until about 5:30 A.M. this morning. We did get up and make the giant leap of faith from the LR couch to BR bed. That always seems huge, but it doesn’t take us more than a moment and we’ve fallen back to bed again.

I remember thinking if I close my eyes I won’t be able to do any sewing. But then the heaviness of my eyes took over and it was time lost.

This morning we spent 40 minutes waking up Sir Sweetie. I think he must have been way into the message what a slumber bunny. He was nice though too when it came time he started my car for me and dropped the snow to its knees. AHA! Take that you cold varmint!

We’re still feeling groggy though on our second or third cup of coffee. We’re working very hard not to over eat. I think we’re doing well, but it is with concentration. We found out earlier today that the hard candy we were eating yesterday (leftover from Sr.’s Christmas gifts) was real points.

YEEKS! This is going to need stopping today. It’s way too much for snacking.

Rich had thought hard candy was going to be free, but no such luck. It’s a pretty big container. It doesn’t have fats, protein or fiber, but is loaded each three pieces with 14 g. carbs. So it’s 2 pp. Both of us had one so there was one at home and one at work. I didn’t realize these were “bonbons.” AND, there are 44 different varieties in the can. Yeeks. I know, I know. Fat free, but 10 g. of sugar … that can’t be good. They are good though AND very interesting too look at … reminds me of having a fancy marble collection. Ok, ok .. enough luxuriating!

Let’s move on girls!

Coffee? Thank you I think we will.

I don’t think too much else has happened since we left you. We did have a meeting for admin, but I don’t think too much happened there and we didn’t have to do the report. It was kind of an unpleasant meeting when I handed back a form to the other Q. I had more corrections then she wanted to see. She can fight them all one at a time, or just change things over, but one way or another, I’m done with the list. It’s up to her.

Just need to check in on a couple of friends. Ahh things, be getting better.

Jewelz is fighting what seems like a longstanding cold, and Vickie’s cold in TX because it’s like 20 degrees there. That just can’t seem fair.

Well, it’s obvious we are going to need getting some work done here. Best to see where that is?

Hmm, not doing very good staying out of the candy dish, it would then stand to reason, we’re going to have to do something with it. Could anyone else use it?

We’re thinking Joe here. Maybe if we could control it, we could have some, just not a whole bunch? Ok, how about if we test ourselves. We’ll let it stay on the desk, but we have to put it on Rich’s desk to add some pressure points, and then if we’re good it gets to stay, and if not … it goes OUT in the garbage! What?!! Hey!

Not fair! Hmm, what’s not fair. What would Linda think about this? Probably say it a good idea to put some distance in. Hmm? Well, ok a compromise for now. We at least put it on the back desk. That way we didn’t have to take the blanket off, but we’re not looking at it. That’s like half good, right?

I don’t think Rich will be in today, he’s got appointments up to 1 P.M. and he’s got a meeting with the boss today, and then he said he would be going grocery shopping. I don’t know if he’s got another game today, but he was leaving the house about the same time as us, which is early for him. I hope it’s going to be a good day for him. 40 minutes? Yeeks! How’d that happen anyway?

I’m running into a case of not knowing what to do. Maybe the work part? No, it can’t be that time yet? Hmm, are we seeing some ambivalence? Did you know that Dr. M. was out of town? Yeah, we got that. Are we living with it ok? You know there’s like 8 more days to go? I know. But, we’ve done good … 20 days without seeing him. This is about the longest ever … for at least current history. I think we’re doing good, but it seems like we are having a harder time not thinking about him. Most of the thoughts are like … he’s not here!

Dr. M. left another doctor in charge who we talked to yesterday. He said we could call anytime if we needed to talk. So now we’re trying to make sure there are no needs, just because we WANT to talk. Let’s think here to ourselves. What would we talk about if that’s what we were going to do?

First of all we’d have to tell him we are safe. Are we? Yes dear … no problems, right? Well we could make a problem? Noooo that wouldn’t be a good idea, wouldn’t get Dr. M. home any sooner would it? No, but … no but’s he’s got to be gone sometime and it was us that skipped two appointments, right? I know, I know. BUT, we didn’t know we were going to our mothers because of John. That’s kind of unusual, isn’t it? Yeah but we’re handling it. Right? Well, mostly handling it.

You want to review? No, not really. I don’t really want to be doing nothing.

Hmm, I wonder if this has anything to do with hiding under covers lately. This started just before John died, remember? That’s interesting. Think then it was something we picked up on the first day of the year. We’ll have to remember to talk to Dr. M about it. We were supposed to see him on the 30th and we didn’t and we then started on the 1 and we haven’t seen him, but are still hiding on the 12th. Yup yup it looks suspicious. I know we were hiding when CS called about John, so that isn’t what started us off. I don’t know what allowed us to come out for the call, but we did. Probably good because it started a chain of events.

I think one of the things we would talk to Dr. Marvin about were about the difference in relating to our mother. We’ve called her every couple of days since being home. I feel like we are checking in on her. She said she was going to get a medic alert bracelet so that is a good thing. I think there are parts of us that feel more responsible for her. It seems we’ve had a couple of conversations now where she hasn’t thought to ask about us again. So we still have to be dealing with this is a one-sided relationship. I think she will be fine as long as she stays connected to people.

Something strange happened when we first got back in that Sr. had asked about the trip and how things were going. We went around in a small circle and then came back to the part of my mother being well cared for as to having her house, having an income and having friends and neighbors. Mostly church people. We might have written about this before, but Sr. seemed to sigh in those sets of thoughts. I hadn’t thought it through before, but I think she was worried, that I would go up to MN and stay so I could take care of her.

I don’t really recall too many of those kinds of thoughts, but now can appreciate that we were feeling things out. Maybe that is why it became so threatening that Margaret was going to take over. If my mother became more dependent, then we would have to be more responsible. At one point I heard my sister say something like it only makes sense that she stay with my mother because she was the only one without a job. Yeah, but she’s married? And, she had her goals set on being at her MIL’s. Again without her husband. But, that’s got to be just a timing thing.

There was something odd too in that CS cried when leaving my mother. That surely wasn’t expected. She had shown no indication of having that close a proximity relationship to her. Yup yup that will have to be discussed. Maybe there is something deeper to CS in her needs to be taken care of. That would be odd in that Mom really wasn’t a caretaker kind of person. I think that confused her with John in the hospital the last couple of days too. She talked of him like he was becoming a stranger to her. Just sorta slipped off into the night.

I know there is a lot more going on personally though and that will come out in time … I once heard there was no wrong way to grieve. I’m guessing that is the case.

We’re having trouble focusing here. What would Dr. Marvin say? Hey did we tell you that we’ve got a couple of shipments coming soon? We’ve got on order two pink storage cubby’s and four canvas ones, plus a peddle foot for the girls’ sewing machines, plus for our sewing machine 25 bobbins. That’s like a land slide.

Unfortunately, they haven’t even been shipped yet. We may be looking at Tuesday or Wednesday next week. That’s tuff. It is best not to go into all those thoughts, especially if we can’t wake ourselves up during the evening.

I wonder if we should try looking at some work? Ok, we’re getting the gist … go … go … don’t worry about me. We’ll just be over here ---------->

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