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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Getting out behind a rock and a hard place

Good morning … this is me. We decided that we were going to write here first before our regular correspondence. We’re just in a bit of a mood and we’re not sure which way it is going to turn so we figured better safe than sorry. I’m not sure if we’re in a good mood or a bad mood. I don’t remember exactly where we have been this morning. It’s about 5 A.M. now and we woke up about an hour ago. Wow has it been that long?

We hope to get in the shower in about a half an hour and then we’re going to be going to WW. I’m not sure what to expect there. We went out to dinner last night with Rich. We were going to go for Italian, but then he made a comment after passing by the “Irish Pub” and we ended up there instead. I like the atmosphere … there’s a nice roaring fire and we were sitting close to that AND I was in the mood for a grilled cheese and the soup for the day was tomato which is what I was REALLY hoping for. It was perfect – French fries too!

Rich had the all you can eat fish and we both brought home food. That got eaten eventually last night so things were all good there.

BUT, we ended up in a bad space for a bit … same old same old. Take your medicine! We really do give Rich grief … not sure how that happens. Just remember we were watching TV with him, and then there might have been a commercial or something but the next thought was we’re pulling the blanket over our head and that was the start of part’s problems. I wish I could explain all that better to you, but I just know it happens.

Hmm, it’s now after 6 A.M. and I’m not that much further along. I think part of the time we are zoning out – sleep-like. We’ve taken our shower and medicine, but we must have been tired and I think a little down.

Maybe just because it seemed like a long work week and some thing weren’t stellar, but I don’t think we want to think it out now. I know that we took good notes during the week and we tried to progress things. We are working at work and at home and that feels good. There are still problems with Sr. and Rosa, but particularly with Sr. in that she seemed to be on the negative side of things. She seems to be looking for my shortfalls instead of the things that we are doing right. The benefit of the doubt goes to thinking we’re doing something wrong first.

This kind of “disrespect” really plays on the nerves. Somethings it feels like we’re really being set-up for, such as Sr. tried to convince me that one of the client’s who had behavioral problems written in an incident report had been deposited in our mail box first thing in the morning, but we checked our mail up front 3-4 times before group – and then this came up right after the 1 P.M. meeting, but we had with us during the meeting a few papers we’d picked up while up there making copies. It hadn’t been there. When Sister is in this “you are a terrible employee mode” it just doesn’t make sense to argue with her. Though I think we did a few times.

There was another incident where I’d been given back papers and had filed them from a client, but then Sr. was upset because she thought I’d lost them even though they were filed. Then she wanted to know why I hadn’t taken care of it. But, she had Rosa talking to the mother because of language barriers. But, she was upset with me for not following through.

Most information like the one with the client’s incident report, I’m not getting firsthand information. Such as we were in the building in our office when there had been the problem with the client. I didn’t get a record of it happening until after 2 P.M. the day after, but then she was mad because she felt she was doing our work. It’s just a bad situation.

If she didn’t communicate timely that it had happened then why am I getting blamed for not handling it. She said the secretary had talked to the mother in Spanish, but I’m feeling that some of the mothers can speak well enough in English that I should be talking to them.

Rich says it’s part because we are not there to defend ourselves and because we are not there directly, people aren’t communicating to us or we are not seeing things as they are happening. I will go into this later too because it’s almost time to get dressed for the meeting. There was a lot of problems. I think the best thing we were doing is that we are logging everything that is happening to us. I think we’ve been here before. We’re marking down when we get papers, or communicate with someone or what we are doing as it is happening and often times the direct results.

I know that I have problems with memory, but the scrutiny is being set-up in a way it feels like I’m being sabotaged. It’s a very hard thing to deal with because each step you have to show some proof you are really not an imbecile. It’s hard and emotionally draining. But, we’ve got to get dressed because just because this other stuff is hard, it doesn’t mean that we can let things go. We’re trying very hard to stay on top of things. Part of that is with the diet. I think we did pretty well this week, though I don’t know if we lost weight. We’ll find out this next half hour, but for now … best be getting dressed, hmm?

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