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Monday, March 7, 2011

It's been a while ... and we got another quilting week in

Good morning. It’s me. It’s about 9:30 A.M. and we’ve been up for about 3 ½ hours. Rich is getting ready now from the shower … he suggested that we help him with his therapy, but he wants us to push on his legs and we’ve already tried that for one of 4 rounds and it was exhausting.

Thinking here of all the pressure of his legs wanting to unbend as we’re pushing him in. He’s supposed to use a towel or belt. I’m like NOT doing that … it’s too hard! It be easier to massage him for an hour!

We’ve gotten Linda’s note ready, so in our head we’re repeating some of the information, but we can’t help that much. I think it’s been a while since we wrote to our blog. There’s probably hundreds of things that have happened, but maybe we can just put a summary list of things happening and then go from there. I think we haven’t been writing to Linda as much either so we’re not sure exactly what notes we are taking from … Let’s check in though. When is the last time we wrote?

Oh Lordy … it’s been almost ten days! YEEKS! We’ve really been out of the loop. We’re going to need figuring where we’ve been. Ok, trying the outline form and we’ll build from there.

• Maury and his girl back together
• Still worrying over granddaughter being a werewolf
• Talked to Maury several times – keeping caught up in general stuff
• Honorary sisters at WW – lost 8 pounds total
• My mother’s updates
• Bob and Marcia over for dinner and conversation
• Cut and stitched first part of J&C quilt, but made terrific error in square size
• Cut more one inch squares so that project is ready to start up again
• Finished typing 2nd scrap quilt – will quilt last part today maybe!
• Keeping household pretty much picked-up
• Changed the cable situation – so good number of shows AND DVR in each room – to sew and massage better
• Working on the annual project at work and have completed putting kits together including the Qnote, the QSP Chrononote, the DSP Chrononote, the behaviors and incidents, the client file updates, then annual meeting and the goals. Pswhoo!
• 1rst Saturday sewing group over the weekend
• Long work on the State strategy plan
• A couple of Dr. Marvin visits - I am sending a reminder about what we talked about at the end of the session today. You stated that one of the goals you had for yourself was to feel as grounded and confident outside of the therapy session as you do when you are here. One thing I suggested was that you try remembering what it’s like to be here (having a conversation), with the goal of reinforcing that feeling, so you can recall it later. It will take time and practice, but it will happen.
• Been going out on Friday night dinners with Rich
• Fishy shows with Rich
• Battling out the dramas with Sr. and Rosa
• Waiting on tax return to pay for computer
• Admin meeting
• Gave back CS computer – laptop, got our netbook in
• Getting time off for Pulaski Day
• Celebrated Emily’s b-day with the girls
• Did cutting work for CS newest quilt
• Drove up and back from WI with change of eating/sleeping and came home very tired
• Worked on schematics of CS new place – with much consideration put into her sewing area
• CS is getting new Viking sewing machine and possibly table/workstation
• Thinking of a trip up to MN
• Steering our own ship
• Working day for our on-going sewing projects

And, the last thing which is very hard … Vince has died. They don’t know what happened to him, but he died on February 27th, had his wake on March 4th and was buried on March 5th. We’ve been so distant from him although we knew he kept up with this blog and our facebook and would periodically leave a note. It wasn’t like in the old days when we talked so much, but I still feel sad about the passing. At one point he’d been a very close and dear friend.

Now maybe just skimming over the top of some of my other time now that the general outline is in. First was Maury and his girl. I’m glad they are working it out, I’m a bit worried in that some hard feelings were taking place and they involved the grandchildren … Nothing I can do there, but be appreciative of how hard they are working to deal with the life’s they’ve put in front of them. I’ve always believed relationships to be 50-50 and in there actually being a social construction to relationships. I learned that back in college with Peter Burger … and try to keep the thought in place when hearing ups and downs.

A little of what we are fearing though as to Isa becoming a werewolf is that we’re thinking she’s being blamed for more problems than should be credited to a young 5 year old. So that the negative stuff she’s hearing about herself has formed into a “monster” which she is separating from herself so that she can live with the happier nicer version which she surely is part of. I don’t like blaming kids for stuff. Usually it isn’t their fault. They can take correcting, but then it is our fault as adults for not shaping them from one set of circumstances to another so that the lives mesh together. Kids don’t SUDDENLY become bad without variables that we may or may not be understanding. It’s our jobs as adults to keep working with them in the most positive light possible.

My problem if any is that I’d been built up to think that I may be watching the girls a couple of times a month on Maury’s Sundays, and now it looks like things are working differently and we’re not going to see them so much. All of that hasn’t been stated plainly, but I told Maury when the better plans were being laid that most likely it is what is going to happen. I feel crumbly about it because I’d built up so much anticipation at being able to be around the girls.

Social construction of relating includes the ups and downs that we’ve been having with Sister and Rosa. I think we’re on the better side of that now … during the last part of the admin meeting on Friday, Sr. Got up and massaged for a second my shoulders and it felt like a million dollars. I don’t even know if she thought of what she’d done in being THIS nice, but it was soooo appreciated that we’ll try holding onto it while getting us through the harder times.

We have talked to our own mother a couple of time over the last 9-10 days and she seems to be doing well. I don’t think there is so much to consider as to her space, but that she’s still recovering from surgery and is going to physical therapy which she seems to like. She’s getting good movement back into her arm – and because it’s been a month, there might be just a couple more weeks and she’ll be back to regular activities that include driving.

Bob and Marcia seem to be doing well too. We had a good visit with them coming over and Rich doing dinner, and then the guys watching a couple special fishy shows afterward. Marcia encouraged me to work on our sewing as we were talking and that worked out especially good. I could concentrate as Marcia was talking on her conversation, and then when I’d have to concentrate more on the sewing, I would excuse us for a second to think, and then we’d be back into routine non-thinking stuff again, and we progressed through that. I was almost disappointed when the guys called us back to being with them, because it had been so enjoyable, but then we worked on finishing our tying knots project so that was good too. That was the same day we also cut fabric for the smaller 1 1/2” squares, so I felt really progressed.

We didn’t make it to last week end’s WW meeting, but the one before that we had a nice 2.2 pound loss to be down 8 pounds. After this weekend we’re really going to have to work hard to have another loss next time.

However we met a couple of the girls – two sisters while we were there.

They always sit in the front row toward the middle and we sit in the second row toward the middle. It was really sweet of them to turn around and include me this time. I will look forward to saying hi to them again. Maybe somebody would have then missed me last weekend.

That part was that we were at WI for the quilter’s meeting with the girls, but more of that later.

Before we get too far though … we’d just been talking about our projects with the three quilts and we wanted to say for the record we’d made a big error with the J&C quilt. It was supposed to be cut 72 – 8 ¼” squares and by mistake we cut them to like 5 5/8” We hadn’t reread the directions while cutting so had used the square thing to cut the pieces not remembering that that was only for the 2nd cutting of the colored grid.

So we had to work on scaling down the entire quilt because we couldn’t go back and cut all those pieces again. There wasn’t enough fabric, nor did we want to waste all that had gotten cut. So we’re trying to live through this mistake. All the frame parts have to be recut too. It was just a tremendous error on our part, but hopefully will teach us something on getting through things.

Maybe we’ll be able to finish the second scrap quilt today and that would carry us a long way as to comfort ability.

Around the house we’ve been doing pretty good at keeping things picked up and we’re doing well still with the work getting done during work time.

We were very productive last week and got through the admin meeting without too much extra to be said. The staff training meeting didn’t happen because it was first Friday, and then we didn’t have Thinking group either. Next Thursday, Sr. will commandeer our staff training meeting to be doing the staff meeting. That will work out fine for us. We have something then planned for the time AND we get to sit in on the meeting.

We will still be doing Thinking group after, but in general that’s just how things happen.

We’d done a big project that we talked about a few moments ago so won’t repeat, but in general the big Annual project has been a big endeavor and it was too a place we appreciated on Friday before leaving. Today is Pulaski – don’t have to work day, but we’ll probably look at it for a few moments to see if we could glean any insights from the project. There’s a lot of information in the folder we put together and we need to figure out how to next best use it especially with the trainers or for that matter our own position. We are the Q and would like to have more positive impact on the clients. It’s always just a matter of how much time we use with one thing onto the next.

One of the things we will have to consider is getting the top three groups in a private session with us on relationships. I don’t want to interfere in what the staff or Mr. Hall is working on, but I would like to see if I can pull things from the material we are gaining on improving the client’s situation somehow. Maybe again we’ll look at the book today and see if we can take it in that direction. There are other things going on too. I’m insisting in our brain that we finish the last three clients work by tomorrow AND we need to get into the CARF project, especially the work with satisfaction surveys and strategy planning from information learned this last week from the state, the staff and the clients – rolled into formats acceptable to both CARF and the State AND will hold to Sr.’s thinking. It’s a lot of coordination of ideas. It’s up to me to define our roll in the process. It means taking on more responsibility for being a good professional employee. We want to have a relaxing day today with writing and sewing, but I don’t want to lose track with the other. Maybe just a little on this then later.

The situation that took the most improvement at home was not only keeping picked up with things and keeping the dishwasher progressing was that we talked to the Cable company and had someone in last Sunday who put in the anyroom feature onto our TVs so now we get all the channels from ALL three rooms AND we get the DVR in each of the rooms MEANING … that Rich and I can go back to his long massages when we are watching his shows. It had been uncomfortable to do a really good job from the couch and still be comfortable, and we’d figured out in the old days where he got lots of massages it was because we laid down in the bedroom without the TV. Times have evolved and now Rich is here full time so still needs his TV time, but now we can do both. I’m REALLY happy about all that.

At the end of the last Dr. Marvin meeting we talked to him and he said something about us being able to remember his space while we were out in the space of others. We had had a feeling of losing out on the even-tempered Ann who talks through her problems without being over-bothered.

We had an experience of that over the weekend, but still lost about 30-45 minutes being in a mad place around Rich after we’d gotten home from the weekend. We were very calm there, but still there was frustrating stuff to us that we had been more hiding than handling.

A lot of that has to do with CS now looking at about gaining about a half million from her deceased MIL and getting an extra house added to having a house as well as having the fluidity to buy better things like her announcement of getting a new sewing machine plus always the abundance of fabrics. Maybe it is more our problem in not talking about it directly.

It’s obviously bothersome to us. The space in-between her life-style and ours is so different that it is uncomfortable to live through. It probably didn’t make it any easier because we had spent the entire weekend working on her project. I’m not sure if it would have even been noticed, but she did not cancel another engagement out so we spent the last three hours at her house by ourselves finishing her project as she was not even there.

It felt very non-appreciating. It was also our fault though in that we’d gotten frustrated with working blindside by her constant conversation on her space without interest of others … anyway we asked about getting a floor plan so she drew out one for each floor. I think that was better for us in that it felt good to plan rather than not know exactly how things we’re going.

The biggest consideration was that we worked with her in developing space down in the family room portion where she could be having her bigger sewing area. She had thought to bring it downstairs where there was more room, but had shut herself off to thinking it needed to be in just the office space. I also encouraged her – because obviously she now has the money to do it … but to get a big work station. We’d looked at them before and had thought Koala put out the best sewing machine table setups. I don’t know if she’ll go with that or another, but we’re thinking she’s thinking further ahead. You just don’t get that far in advance without progressing thoughts completely.

The major difference was that she’d thought of their over-extended long couch as being more of the room’s center highlight than anything … in a sense maintain the room she already has at her old house. But, we’re trying to tell her is that a formal living room and TWO family rooms are too much of the same thing … Just isn’t going to get used. We showed her by putting the elbow back into the couch and making it L-shaped would allow her to use the room half family room and half sewing room. The cumbersome parts could still be in the old office, but she could do the work in the bigger room that would feel more comfortable to be in. She’d already had good ideas as to taking the front off the cabinets so having floor to ceiling display of her fabrics. And kits.

It was really good thinking. I’m still thinking we could work on her a big with office space. If not for Mark working on his school work – he’s going back to get a nursing degree then it would be her special computer space and space to pay bills and other things of that nature … AND could include her scrapbooking. I will continue that conversation with her later. Part of her problem is that she’s thinking the old way of keeping old furniture that is past its prime and not thinking very creatively with room space, but then you’d have to imagine that it’s really one of those specialty things we do with our time in imagining space without houses we dream of having.

I think it would be a really good idea to separate out the scrapbooking from the quilting. Why not have a creative space. And one other thing we are trying to work through is developing areas that both her and Mark can work on equal stature. Like it was very important that she place him in the smaller rooms or the rougher spaces much like his mother did so he has a workroom – though that is good if he wants to work on gems again, but he shouldn’t have a negative bathroom along with the smaller space upstairs. By opening the downstairs family room to be half that and have CS sewing they would have the option of him being around her … or he could go upstairs to the other family room with fire place if he wanted separation.

Likewise I can see in the living room they could set up two big equal size desks and both share the space – she is used to working by herself and could still do the same in that a lot of time he’s out working and she’s at home, but as a married couple you want to develop a comfort with the relaxing time together. I could see her doing like a form credenza and hutch on her own, plus a big 6 foot desk in front of it and then put in another 6 foot desk for him with maybe bookshelves since that is more of his need.

Hmm, that took a while. It’s now about 1:15 P.M. and we’ve been missing in action for a bit. We did for the record get through our correspondences … we had 250 emails, though 98% is garbage. There were a few that required response. One was that the twins are recommending joining a guild in Mukwanago, WI. They call themselves the Crazy quilters. Gotta love a group that understand being a little crazy … I might just call it wanting to go muk. CS responded back already to being interested though having to check some of the dates.

Hmm, needed to send out an extra note to Linda because she should be getting in just about now. I wanted to know if she was interested in Muk and if she’s interested in being my partner for the fall retreat. I’ll wait to hear from her before sending through my money. I don’t remember the cost, but I’m thinking it’s like about $420 … It’s a lot of money, but I think its 5 days. We will have to check. I read something today like a quilter with pretty regular interest will spend like $2400 a year average. I believe it and that’s WITHOUT buying a machine.

Anyway that’s where we are with the general sewing news. We’ll watch for Linda’s next post … I know she will check when she gets home. Ok, any other news beside sewing? Oh one more thing, we did get another quilt – or at least the fabric for one. CS started a class, but didn’t like the fabric or the project. It’s just an opportunity to get together with the regulars. So, she figured the fabric would make a nice kids’ quilt so sent it home with me. We were explaining to Linda earlier, but we felt a little hard-pressed because CS sends us home with projects a lot, but we like working on some of our projects. In particular we want to be working on the office trilogy and the Dancers in the park. Those are way too long forgotten. Best we be finishing up on this quilt today. If we could do it … I think we’d maybe take some pictures and then see if that lady from Linus blankets would be in tomorrow to receive a donation. Shoot … maybe not … forgot that it’s supposed to be washed first. I wouldn’t be able to see that through until the weekend.

I’m thinking Rich has a couple of projects. I think we wants to go for St. Patties to his mom’s next Monday or Tuesday, but I’m not remembering what else. Sometime he’s supposed to be meeting with his son, but I’m not sure what else. Just seemed like SOMEthing was coming up because I had the feeling of grasping for days like straws. Maybe it was because we were out all weekend and have so little time to get in with our personal stuff. That was the problem with doing CS stuff and then her sending it home. I’m not here for another’s interest. I want to develop from within me. I’d much rather pick out and sew from scraps or even some of the extra quilts she’s got here … just so it be my choice.

Fishyman is going pretty well now days. We wrote about the part of getting more massages because the change up in TVs … Hehehe it’s about 1:30 P.M. and we forgot to turn the TV on today. Maybe when we go back to the other room. We would like to get the debt off our nerves with tax money, but its us pushing ourselves, not Rich. Rich has been good lately to talk about business, not that we always agree, but its good to have conversations with someone beside Dr. M. We won’t see him again til Thursday, but it’s already been about a week, so we’re a little droopy in that department. Back to fishyman though – he’s made a big hit with the dinners and even more so because they don’t involve Bob. I love Bob to pieces, but he’s just not helping the romantic feelings as much as eating out alone with Rich. I know I be the selfish one. We did have a good time with Bob and Marcia too. Lordy they would know about wanting special time just between them.

There was one more thing to say about Sr. I don’t know if we said it already, but she sneaked in a little shoulder massage … just for like10-15 seconds, but it was worth a ton in our book. Maybe we said that part already.

Rich was very happy apparently when we were gone in that he had fishy stuff all over the place. There were still rods and lures in the living room when I came in and it seemed there’d been some kitty playing around too. He said they were afraid to come into the living room and one must ask why.

Hmm, I wonder if next weekend is the spring fling. It seemed like opposite that day on Sunday fishyman is going to take his first trip with the guys. Hmm. I’m really thinking it’s then next weekend. That would make it the 12th? Surely that must be confirmed somewhere. Not sure. I think last year we had CS, Marcia AND Bob, but this year not so much. CS said something about not being invited and Rich said not to invite Bob and Marcia because they were only doing it for a favor to us and I don’t think he wanted to push them like that. I don’t suppose it would be fair after turning down spaghetti dinner at their church. *sigh* I don’t know what the table arrangements would be or if CS really would have come. She’s getting better at driving and it would have to be where she drove down on her own. Maybe she could stay a night or two and then go back.

I’d just forgotten about the properness in that she said she hadn’t gotten an invite. I didn’t realize I was supposed to give one, but don’t see why I couldn’t. If she was interested though she could have asked about it.

Hmm, that was one possibility to is that we could give this quilt we’re finishing to the Spring Fling. Just don’t know if people would pay more than $40-50 and that feels really insulting … I think the thinking is that its better to just give it away. I feel like I’ve done something too in already have made a donation for Vince. I liked the idea a lot of the money going toward something for the garden. On the other hand maybe there would be something about doing a quilt regularly for the center. It would seem maybe odd we’d not supported them a second year? Just might be better to do it with money. We’ll have to think of it as we are finishing it. Linus or the center … I think we’re down to two destination places.

Hmm, we’re back to the quilting again … thinking were probably pretty much as far as we would like to be going for right now into the blog entry.

Maybe there could be a little free thought though too? So far we’ve been working off our “lotsa things going on” list. What’s left probably doesn’t need so much commenting.

We have always loved though the feeling of sitting here thinking abstractly.

Ok, finding the ice cream sandwiches wasn’t really what we meant when we said abstractly. Is that the best we can do?

Nothing on the book. Don’t wanna go there.

Kitties … discussed them? I guess were about business more than pure abstract. I guess we could think through … so after all this? How are we doing? Well we did feel a bit used over the weekend, not because we couldn’t or didn’t want to help, but just thinking it is nice when things happen back. I did feel that with the twins it happens, but not so much with my sister. I liked the older feelings we used to have where we were working on things more as a team.

I guess there is still team work involved, but it seems pretty much for her like I’m assisting her … maybe that isn’t very good as to quality of equality. I don’t really feel put down as if I’m doing a lesser part. I always feel like she appreciates my work … Just it’s hard to label. I guess in part – I still feel I’m being handled. Maybe it is a matter of boundaries and that I would feel better going into finish my project … I could do that?

It means we’d have to decide is it going to be our sewing machine or the new one for the girls. Hmm, maybe our machine. I’m really not looking forward to spending time with the other’s bobbin and I think it’s more like straight stitching this time, right? Let’s just go in there and get the job done. Linda would say that much for sure. Then maybe we don’t take ourselves down so much for what we don’t have, but what we do have within us.

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