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Dissociative Identity Disorder Blog

Updated! Please see Ann's Blog Roll in right sidebar by scrolling down for links to other People (approximately 100 bloggers) like us who currently (within 1 year) write about their Dissociative Identity in open Blogs. For additional support for Multiplicity our email is and our Twitter account (@aynetal3), which lists approximately 300 Multiples. Keep looking for others - they are OUT there!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Saturday has been tough and it's just starting to get real interesting

Saturday, July 21, 2012 at 10:31 AM
Good morning.  This is just us again.  It is mid-to-late-morning and we are just getting to the break-even point with our social media that we can start to look at the day through writing.  And, yes of course, through school.  There is no shortage of aching we are doing over that subject.  I think we go so long in-between that we forget what we were doing.  I’m thinking though that between me (Corey), Lissa and Kelsie that we’re having a hard time going from one thing to another because our minds are so busy processing all there is to learn that is happening out there.
We just finished a video that was put out in about March with Bill Gates, Khan Academy and Kaplan University.  It was a summit on the future of education and technology.  It was only a half an hour, but I found myself amplified in thought in that they were talking about the kinds of things that we are learning about with our education.  Just think how much more we could gain if we could put ourselves through the processes.  Today is rather a due or die day.  We have to get the assignment from last Saturday and this Wednesday in.  We’re hoping to start it right after lunch, unless we finished here sooner.  It is not as if there are particular things we need to discuss, just ache for the free form writing we do at the blog. 
Rich is still here and has been in the back working in the kitchen for the past couple of hours.  He took a business call back there and hasn’t really been seen since then.  I did go for new water and he stated that he was working on a Saturday, which seemed like news to him.  OK dear.  You are the one that owns his business and needs to make those kinds of executive decisions.  I think mostly though that he is doing what he wants in his Good Rich way.  I think he is leaving about 1 pm and getting home about 7 pm.  That works with my schedule and he will be reminded that it is a Saturday so not to depend too much on us being around.  Again repeat!!!!  Need to go to school so we can learn.
I think one of the sticking points we have in our minds and we’re still trying to work through is the question, what are we trying to do with the design of our course.  By now you have heard the general layout, but since that point, we have learned more about systems to do the work, so we are trying to imagine it out – even if it were only a session, which I think is that half the project is.  Let’s review.
Basically, we’ve defined the audience as anyone interested in multiplicity and in possibly meeting multiples.  This isn’t something we are actually going to put in place, but we want to do as much groundwork, so that we really can do something like this, but it would be on a larger scale, better planned, and realistic to what is available to us in all kinds of resources.  We know that we want our one session to be looking at the terms defined by Dell and O’Neil.  How that gets set-up is another question.  It seems if there are intricacies as to having all the elements fall into place in the right way.  I know that we have to go through the formalities of whatever our course is teaching us, but then there is also all the ideas that come into our minds.  We have been bookmarking some of the things we’ve looked at this week too, so it will be interesting if some of that makes a difference at this point, or if it’s still much farther out in the future.  I think we’re going to take a quick peek at that now.  This is our tiny collection as it stands:
61 Behavioral biases that screw up how you think
Educational technology and mobile learning:  The 33 digital skills every 21st century teacher should have
E-Learning today with #AdobeCaptivate
Aberdee So Mo Clo research
26 Tips for managing a social media community:  Social Media Examiner
Adobe – Captivate tutorials & rapid eLearning & Adobe Captivate blog
Clive on learning:  What specifically in e-learning good for?
Creating courses – Instructional design
40+ tips on how to become a social media rock star on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+
TED Search
Personal Learning Networks (PLN)
Do you know your blogging history?
Microsoft CEO Summit innovation in education
I’ve gone back over the list now and chose one at random that seemed to have something to do with my thoughts now on putting together an e-learning course.  The first element Clive recommends is
Interactive self-study tutorials which are “short lessons which help the learner to acquire knowledge against specific objectives, typically as a precursor to using this knowledge to perform tasks in the workplace or to engage in other, more practical learning activities such as workshops.”  He then states that “tutorials which develop problem-solving and decision-making skills, using case studies, scenarios and other forms of interactivity.” 
At this level, it would seem that the course could focus on my one specific session on what does it mean to be dissociative.  I also believe that in this part of the plan, I would add elements of going into the “archives” of Sarah’s collection of blogs and choosing randomly at least three blogs and then write a statement on the learners thought of his learning about the multiples in this way, and what he learned from them compared to the initial definition of dissociation.  Then, I would have them do the same with learning about multiples through Twitter.  Hopefully, the student will stay with the project long enough to gather 24 hours of discussion.  Most multiples are still tweeting on their own, but the learner should also try to find conversations and learn how multiples tend to support one another.  As a third learning experience the learner could go to Yahoo Groups, and see if one of the communities might let them join, or would have available entries for the learner to follow … again … it would be best if the learner could write openly about his experience in encountering people who have this dissociative difference from them.
Clive’s second note on learning was “Live online formal instructional events using sessions, similar to those conducted in a physical classroom.  As a component in a formal blended solution, e.g. to introduce a new course, to explore key topics, to review progress.  As an informal developmental activity, e.g. webinars including presentations and discussions.  As a tool to allow groups of learners to collaborate on projects and assignments.  As a means for learners to present the outcomes of projects and assignments.”
On this part of the course design, I might ask them to locate in groups of 3 to 4 learners videos taped on YouTube where a multiple presents herself or her situation, or whatever she might be trying to teach online through her video or series of videos.  For this assignment, it would be good for the learners to discuss using Skype or Google+ what their experience was with these videos, and then have them as a group – with one scribe answer a series of open and investigative learning – including their feelings of confusion or clarity in meeting someone “different.”
Clive next writes on games and stimulations.  Here he states, “Games and simulations as a form of guided discovery learning, allowing learners to gain insights into problem-solving and decision-making principles, e.g. project management, business strategy, and marketing.  As a way for learners to explore principles.”  He goes on to say the process should be within context, life-like, immersive and collaborative such as How to handle something.
In this section of the design, we might consider something like going to Amazon and choosing a book from the dissociative section and then watching from the Amazon ranks whether the book is going up or down, and from some understanding of the informational sleeve or peeking inside the book, they would be asked to conclude their best analysis of why the book might be going up or down.  Or, they could choose a set of five books and compare them together as to a one week analysis of the book’s ranking higher or lower.  They could also be asked to tie it into their other networks of learning to hint what might be causing fluctuations on a day to day level, like did something come out in the news.
Clive states that the next learning could come from digital online content, including web articles, videos, screencasts, podcasts, or slide shows.  He states, “Performance support material for access on demand.  As a component in a formal blended solution, e.g. to stimulate a discussion or in preparation for a workshop.  As a developmental activity initiated by the learner.  As an output of learning activities carried out by learners working individually or in groups”
With this learning aspect, the learners might put a search for dissociation in the Google search tool, and collect for one week a sample of how dissociation is picked up or placed in society.  This could be a choice of then a single or group presentation that would be titled something like Multiplicity in the 21st century.  After having gotten to know a little bit about people with multiplicity it is thought that checking that bearing against how people talk in general about it (non-multiples) then it would further engage them in thought or perhaps empathy as to the treatment of this small culture against the drop set of the world’s larger cultural beliefs.
Clive’s next learning section has to do with social media tools, including forums, wikis, blogs, and social networks.  He states “To facilitate group collaboration within a formal blended solution.  As performance support tools, i.e. making it easier to seek out and provide expertise.  As tools for sharing best practice, links and information.  As tools for problem-solving and reflection.”
In this section we might consider interacting sincerely with someone with multiplicity to tell them a summary of what you have learned during the sessions and then to ask them their thoughts if they were willing to share those with the learner.  The learner should support his position and note which social media links provided him with the stimulus to his synthesis of multiplicity.  After hopefully talking to someone who was multiple, the learner should add an interview aspect to his summary and then conclude what changed over the course of his first impressions and then his second impressions after talking with the multiple.  It would be nice if this could then be made into a video presentation that the other students might listen too.  He must be careful to include or not include real names dependent on which the multiple prefers.    And the multiple should have the option of looking at the completed project as well.
Clive’s last learning objective was the e-assessments.  In this section, he wrote “to check knowledge, understanding and, to a more limited extent, problem-solving and decision-making skills against specific objectives.  Of limited reliability when the assessment takes place immediately after the delivery of learning content.  E-assessments are not capable of assessing all types of learning objectives.”
With this section it seemed that the learner could have been asked at the beginning of the sessions to develop his or her own thought on course objectives given the general overall goal to engage in the world of multiplicity.  The learner will be asked to skim through each portion of the course ahead, and then given some keywords so that he or she might develop objectives for themselves given what they already know about multiples and learning, and then be asked to write an evaluative summary at the end as to whether or not he or she met those objectives.  Finally, the learner would be asked to develop three more objectives that he would recommend to the next person or group of people prior to their setting of on the same adventure.  There should also be survey questions asked as to parts that were especially appreciated or unappreciated, and how they might add to the structure or scaffolding for future courses.
The end conclusion shouldn’t be completed until the learner has had a chance to read Clive’s full article and has read through the entire series of comments as to e-learning principles.  As well as the multiple facet of it, the learner should also have the e-learning part analyzed, synthesized and evaluated.  Lastly, the learner should add a note to Clive on what he or she learned from the exercise and any questions that they might have to improve his system of thought.
Wow!  I didn’t know we could do that so quickly.  I’m not sure if it will align now with what the students are learning in the course, I do know they are working on backward chaining, so we’ll have to really smooth the processes of learning from the ADDIE model and the backward chaining and any other we might happen on.  If I look back on it for a second, I would evaluate the sessions to take … Hmm, think this course could be done in eight weeks.  There would be a lot going on, but it would be very worthwhile.  Ok, I could see going with this now and then going back to our course and plugging it in where it belongs.  I think part of the problem in doing modules as we are is that you are asked to write the set-up section of your project, before you can fully comprehend it. 
Ahh we’re taking a little thinking break.  We went in and make ourselves a shake for lunch.  It is now 12:07 PM.  Rich is just getting in the shower before he leaves for his game.  I think he talked to his mother or Bud, I’m not sure if he’s thinking that he would like to go there tomorrow.  My understanding now is that he has three games today and one game tomorrow, so that would allow more time, and he’s getting to understand my complications of going out on Saturday’s.  They are ALWAYS going to be a homework day.  I think in the near future he will be using these days to catch up on work.  I don’t recall if we noted it yet, but he’s talked to his assignment chairman for football and has nine games lined up from August 28th to October something.  The games are primarily on Friday nights, though there may be an occasional Saturday game.  One way or another, it seems then like our course is set too and that Friday nights should be a working night.  Most of his games are NW because he used to live in Algonquin where the rest of his four man team are.
Ok, I think we caught you up in that direction J  Good Ann’s.
I haven’t checked Twitter for a while now so we have that to be doing.  I’m not sure if I want to post this entry because it is complete in a good scratch sort of way, or whether I should continue to write in-between doing things.  On one side we like to make complete actions – so might post, but on the other hand, we want to leave options open.  I suppose we could compromise – hear Dr. Marvin in our head here.  He would be suggesting the same.  The compromise would be that we could post, but we COULD if we wished, post again after we do some school work.  That’s a pretty good deal, right?  I mean there’s like no real rules to this thing.
I wanted to say that we did some research last night when it came to adding a few more Twitter feed that we follow.  There were a few social media people, but primarily we added to the multiples or the psychology section.  We went back over both Dell and O’Neil’s book for authors who might Tweet and we went over about 100 books from Amazon on dissociation.  We came-up with a half dozen names which seems less than the effort might expect, but I suppose most people are much more private than we are. 
Our general feelings here are that … we only have about a hundred years or less to go and so if people don’t get to know me now, they never will and then my value to life may be lost.  I thought about it too yesterday when we had written costs of living into the entry.  We reminded ourselves that if people went back into our writing, they would find that we’ve been doing that all along.  That basic lesson came from Honoree Balzac in the 19th century.  He always had his characters incomes and special details about them so that it could help his reader put them in perspective and be able to compare one of his characters I suppose with others.  It meant something to him that someone would be much different if they had 2,000 as an annual income or pension compared to 120,000.  I forget what denomination the French were using at the time.  Is it Francs?  Not sure.  We’ll let that one slide past us for the moment since our Internet is being so hard to get to.  I know lazy lazy.  OK, enough of that I’ll go look.  AHA!  I was right!  Yay one point for memory!
Ok, where were we … Ok, one point loss then for memory too?  I guess two steps forward, one step back.  Ok, just reviewed.  We were looking at the Twitter feeds and adding slowly to them.  It really surprised me as noted how many authors weren’t found directly in the search.  I was really happy to have them show themselves when they did.  If I thought the name could be an author, but they didn’t have very many tweets, follows or followers (0-10), then I would leave that person alone.  It seemed unfair if that person was basically hiding that I might uncover them.  There were a few too who had “do not disturb” signs on them.  I thought hmm, that is pretty unfriendly in a Twitterish manner of speaking, but we can’t do anything about that either.  I suppose it would be good for people like psychiatrists to remain uncovered.    
Ok, we’re back and we continue to lose time to the obvious at the risk of not getting school work completed.  It’s just that this whole existence in the world of e-learning has taken us quite by storm.  It is now 5:30 pm, and I’m thinking that we really need to stop writing, and post, and move on.  I would like to say for the record that we have updated the blog and Twitter to contain a list of our top 23 sites visited this week and saved through Diigo.  I love that tool, and will care for it even more as we remember to highlight and leave sticky notes.  It’s really something.  It allowed us to go through our list of about 30 saves, and then mark some of them private so we could publish the rest to a list that we sent over to our blog at Blogger by pushing a few buttons.  It is just mesmerizing as if it were reading my mind’s needs.  The list could be a little neater, but coming from someone who just started to Tweet, I think it’s quite an accomplishment and happened with my first two weeks.  I’m really proud of the work. 
Now will be the test to see if I can use it to lock down my needs at school.  I’m not sure how I’m going to do that … maybe a few minutes to think through where the project is at.  I think we left the papers we were using including the second week’s second assignment on the clipboard and also with the clipboard should be our textbook.  Probably it would be a good idea to take it to the couch and look through it to see what needs to be done.  Then, we can take it back to the computer, or to the kitchen table or even to the drafting table to work on.  Thing is not to get scared of it.  I don’t know … we did so much with our online presence this week, I don’t know why this part should be so hard.
I think Dr. Marvin said last Wednesday that part of it is that we are afraid of being judged.  Even though we have a fairly good record of being liked and accepted, we still think people will look down on us for not being smart enough or for doing the right things.  I can be pretty sure this is coming from old tapes of my parents’ treatment of us.  I know that they thought we were very stupid.  So much anger went into this title on our part, that we banned our boys from using the word “stupid” as they were growing up.  It was probably the harshest comment someone could ever make to someone else.  It is very degrading to their mental status and beliefs that they are worth something and can contribute fairly. 
It’s probably not a great time to go into a psychology lesson, but it is a point to come back to … often we feel we are a failure before we start on a project, and although it doesn’t have any truth now, it still petrifies us to be doing something wrong.  Maybe too this has something to do with being parts that were out at the wrong time and not understanding work we are being told to do whether it is housework or schoolwork.  I can only believe that if we are having this much difficulty progressing due to fear, that it is something that affects others, especially multiples as well.  Part of any abuse is the feelings of being less then we really are.  So, when it is time to prove ourselves, fear gets in the way, and we most likely sabotage our system to fail before anyone from the outside could see through our ugliness and fail us themselves.  It is a leftover of having parents who are supposed to take care of you, though instead they demean us in whichever way can appropriately for them cause us to lose our spirit.  They above anything want to control us, because in themselves control is the hardest battle.  I am also reminded of a thought my father often stated.  He said that we didn’t respect him enough.  But, it was something too much for me to do.  I couldn’t respect someone who was taking out their belt to smack us with our pants pulled down.  This seems like such a harsh thought now, but maybe this is part of things too.  We’ve been taught the embarrassment of our failures, or at least our families failures subjected upon us. 
Ok, gotta stop here.  I don’t know if we are doing anything to help the cause.  I do remember being so angry at our ex while we were still in the marriage.  He had just told us that it was better if we committed suicide, because we were worth more dead than alive.  Although as per our background suggested we wanted to believe this to be true and thankful for someone’s obvious honesty with us.  But, then there is always that little kernel of us within that states, NO, I’m going to SURVIVE in SPITE OF YOU!  That’s probably the strongest feeling recalled from growing up in a victimizing family – that no matter what happened, you were never going to quit, or roll-up in a corner to die, just to make their lives easier.  There was no instruction as to how we were going to survive, but there was the will we would. 
I suppose these strong feelings could assist us now and we try to sturdy our backs for the work ahead.  We’ve already had dinner.  And, we know it’s time to start the harder work for us.  It takes us a long wobbly series of steps to go forward, but it is what has to happen next.  Ok, you Shoo!

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