Monday, July 23, 2012 at 4:42 AM
Good morning. We have been up for nearly four hours, and it is not quite 5 AM. Man-o-man is someone going to pay for that later! We went to use the washroom, and then just lay in bed thinking, so we had figured we might as well get up. Not sure if that was good or bad logic. On the good side, we figure that we are caught up enough over at Twitter and with our e-correspondence, but on the bad side; we are feeling a little dizzy and light-headed though our head in itself seems heavy and sore. Are these the signs of sleep-deprivation? I know … it probably seems silly – like who in the hell would get up to beat Monday morning traffic to the computer? I think Dr. Marvin was right and we are Geeky.
Hmm, that is strange – the word “Geeky” got past the spell-checker. How did that happen? Hmm, so many questions - so little time?
I wonder … is this a coffee buzz? One way or another, I think we are going to catch-it from Rich when he wakes up. He is one not to see the value in waking early enough to catch and gobble-up worms release or not!
Reminds me, we had a really good talk yesterday with Rich about his work. Once we catch-up at school we might want to do something with the notes we took. I know that is probably sounding Geeky too. Just that he had started to talk, and we had had the intent to listen, well, because it seemed that Rich had been one place or another, and was ready to delve into his business thoughts, but from our perspective, his thoughts were muddled and repetitive. What a lot of commas in that sentence! So, we started ironing out the wrinkles of coming to better clarity of business words and terms he was using. About six pages later, we had hit his exhaustion point … for Rich it meant he was done talking about business with his contracting, assembly and packaging services and he was ready to go to his “spare job” officiating baseball.
I think we had exclaimed yesterday, we really think a lot in terms of his dedication toward bringing in an income. I think that Rich is doing almost what he would like to do – though this is the stripped down version. The part that would be fulfilled would be that he organizes others’ work. I think now we are both in similar places. We are still adjusting to the life of a student who is “self-dedicated” and he is “self-dedicated” to producing his own income where nothing can be taken for granted or given. He must generate his own hour to hour revenue. I think he can do it, but he really needs to pick-up the pace. AND, that is something that is hard, because normally at 60 years of age, people are starting to look forward to retirement and slowing down.
Rich has been putting off all his fishing ideas, but we did note he watched some fishing on TV yesterday. We did not disturb him. We had a little more difficulty giving up the living room yesterday after he had come back from his game, made his dinner, and sat down to watch TV. By that time, we were very focused on our school reading and the TV was going to obviously be a great distraction. So, we co-adjusted. Each pieced together carefully short arguments as to the usage of shared space, and then we succumbed to leaving Rich to his comfy chair, dinner, and TV, and we went to the back sewing room. He had gotten to the point of saying, “you had all day to read.” We knew he didn’t understand the gravity of what he was saying in that there were over 110 pages of complex educational material to be deciphering and it was taking a sentence by sentence effort to be not only covering the material, but as well comprehending it and leaving tags on the pages so we could retrieve information later. We did send a picture of our note-taking to Linda last night when we were talking to her, but I’m not sure we are up to impressing anyone yet. Basically, I think it is a case of being in the “student trenches” and nothing to do but sludge through it.
The situation wasn’t quite over with Rich because we were still frustrated with the situation after we left. We knew that the back room also had a comfy couch so there wasn’t a problem that way, but the air and lighting were not good. So, we captured Rich when he came back for seconds and asked him to bring the fan in – and then, after trying to work with him asking HIM to come up with an idea for light, we finally did the idea part and asked Rich to next bring in the standing lamp from the bedroom. I’m sure by this point, he was wondering why we were leading him down this trail instead of doing things for ourselves, but there were enough of us internally who still felt a little put-out of our quiet spot in the living room and thought he should help co-design this new workspace in the back.
I have to tell you we are feeling pretty good about what is happening within the two of us spending so much time within the confine of our small apartment for both work and relaxation. The kitchen, sewing room and living room – are all apt to be used now for not only computer space, but also reading and writing space. Each of those three rooms have tables sufficient to write at. Three of the rooms – bedroom, sewing room and living room have TV/music, and all our facilities are naturally close to food, beverage and washroom. Added to that are exits to the front, back and parallel parking out on the balcony and we have the “animals” – two cats for entertainment, and they seem to move from room to room whichever space gives them the most luxury people views. Having fronts and backs to the house help a lot with sound distractions and it is particularly helpful when each is doing something and the other gets a phone call. Like being in a restaurant, it is polite that the one getting the call goes to the other end of the apartment. Both front and back have “stations” and air conditioners, and in-between, toward the airless bedrooms (bedroom and sewing room) we have a fan. To be fair, one of our fans broke down and we really need to invest a good $60 in another so there isn’t as much moving around, but alas … we’re poor and it hasn’t made the priority list.
In general, we are making better use of this apartment and a “minor” $900 rent more than would seem possible. HMPF! And to think we wanted a $2,400 mortgage with four bedrooms – WHEN, we are actually making it by quite nicely in our abbreviated home-suite. *sigh* ok, in another life we will make a ton of money and put-out for luxuries, but for now … let’s trim the dreams to make our reality sound both internally and externally right. Ok? Dears? Let it go! J ok, that was said with a smile, you caught that right?
It looks like we are still noting financial and time clarifications. I guess that is something that just comes with my brain. Let’s move on – for real??
Ok, one more cup of coffee. For the record then … it’s 5:13 AM. Well, we had to do that ‘ya know?
Shhh, just teasing!
Hmm, that is interesting … the cats have not asked for breakfast and it’s after 5 AM. We really must have confused them with our scheduling. I can’t figure out either whether we want the air on or not. We don’t need it to be cold, but without the air it is warm and muggy. Temps are reading 82 degrees with 52% humidity. Yah … guess that is good enough for air. Looks like we are going to have lightning and thunder today and the temp will reach about 100 degrees. Blah! Good day to stay in … besides I think that Rich wants to borrow our car today. He doesn’t want to drive it, he just wants to place some bins in it so he can use his storage for moving finished goods from Jon’s place to his mother’s. Jon is Rich’s older son and he is moving back into the area (only one hour from Rich). Rich is going to be sore tonight!
That was part of the communication of key terms yesterday – he has both customers and associates and both come in the flavors of hot, cold or immediate. The customers are the people he does the work for – primarily companies looking for help with their manufacturing needs like light assembly or packaging and the associates are the organizations that do the actual work of assembly and packaging. Right now Rich is working with two at the immediate level and needs to do more in finding customers for his associates to assist. Being the middle guy … he earns his income when everyone is busy and things are running and moving fluidly. He is like the cog in the wheel. Hmm, that seems to simplify things, right?
A lot of what we discussed after coining the terms we wanted was about how his normal day-to-day tasks fell. There were a LOT of business aspects not discussed, but we did talk about people as customers and associates, and that they took priority, but in-between everything else was paperwork. In great detail, we went over his paperwork needs and processes. I suppose comparing one business to another that for others with many employees there is much more than Rich planning for just himself, but each of us struggle to find our own water level. I feel much the same in talking about setting up online processes like Twitter, Adobe, and Diigo, and courses and web pages. This is soooo trivial since back in the day when these things were new to society, but in general … if people aren’t doing these already … new is still new and everyone has to start from one corner of the map.
Both Rich and I are trying to make a go of it. Someone online said something today about putting together a livelihood that suits one’s interest and I have to say this is where we are at – even more especially for us than Rich. I do know he has always liked being independent of someone telling him what to do, so for this – he IS doing what he wants. I just think that he wants more to have an income and spending time doing fishing rather than work.
I think, in general, he sometimes get frustrated with our occupation, but at other times admires that we can stay so busy and focused over here on the computer, or with our reading and writing. He knows that we are not taking the business of life passively - UNLESS, it gets in his way. Finding the back room to do reading where we might be comfortable was a good idea. He is right in that we get the living room most of the day, and that it is really the favorite room of the house, and we both have to share it. I would love one day to get back to quilting where the sewing portion of the rooms were being utilized, but until we get a handle on time/organization/accomplishment it will remain just an unfilled desire.
I LOVE the part of SHARING my LIFE so much with our LOVER! WOOHOO!!! Idealistically - You couldn’t have thought a better way to do it. OK, OK … better with a real house, but then … neither Rich or I have the time or desire to be doing more household work or chores. Seems like keeping our few simple rooms picked up, food and laundry flowing, and cars gassed are about the extent we really want to spend our time doing domestics. BOTH of us!
I did want to say a little about the material we are reading though we’d be much better at that if we could sneak peeks at our material. It is LENGTHY! We have one page in front of us that we’d pulled out at random to show Linda … well you know, we just told you that part, but in this one page in front of us it is talking about establishing for our students content and content direction as if the learners we would be working with were tourists, and we were inventing a new culture for them to interact in. This is with the one thought that we know already what kind of conclusions we want them to get to. Not the ANSWER, but the direction we want them to look. The book has a good amount of information in this chapter about “big ideas.” I’m pretty sure this author, he’s exceptional intelligent and writes well with lots of examples, has spent a good amount of time studying concepts of the Great books and thinkers throughout the history of Western Civilization. If you have known us for any great length of time, you would know this is a popular theme that has run through our life for at least the last 15 years. That was about the time we discovered Encyclopedia’s collection of 60 some great books – and that they had a well-referenced system of holding together these great minds while they discussed about 130 really great ideas such as love, wisdom, beauty, work, leisure, death, knowledge etc.
The author of our course book is Wiggins (2005) and the book he wrote is “Understanding by Design.”
Oh gosh, it has been a while I think since we’ve been here. The time is now 10:50 AM, and now checking … Oh man oh man … it says last time we checked it was 5:10 AM. That means we’ve lost five hours to whatever. The jumping off point was in looking at Wiggins books on AOL. We ended up buying three of them with the second and third book being beginning and advanced levels for assessments, and we bought officially Dell and O’Neil’s book for the Kindle. It was better than I hoped in that it was a $65 Kindle book, but they took off the $35 I’d put down on renting it out. That put a $30 cost with the first three books which came to $70. OBVIOUSLY meaning, we spent another $100 … I don’t know what to do with us. I’m just so fascinated by Wiggins work and for its field of Instructional Design it competes with the other e-book for Dissociation in its field as to greatness.
One of the things also that we discovered yesterday was that Dell has an open blog. He has a lot of papers which should still be good, but many were written in 2010 and 2011. Maybe one was written in January 2012. I’m not sure what happened with his time, but I sure would like to encourage him to come back to writing regularly to the blog. It’s just that a lot of us can’t pay to educate ourselves. The $65 for his kindle book was my main birthday present this year other than the gift we purchased for ourselves and with our mother – you know, the Adobe Suites. It is just unfair that you have to pay as much as a multiple to find out more about yourself. There should be a special discount J This goes back to my growing philosophy on FREE e-learning – basically, a mind is a terrible thing to waste. I think they said on one of the tweets this morning that 1/6 of the upper educated people in America was currently enrolled in e-learning. I’m sure it’s a much lower percent for less educated, but the opportunity should be there nonetheless. I liked that Dell had his comments open. I was surprised in that he only has about 60 followers, but this is the problem I believe with his materials being so expensive (like most psych text books) – he’s lost a lot of potentially interested people.
I would like to see a LOT of multiples putting in time learning to work together to form their own think tank. Going back to Wiggins work on design. There’s a lot more to put into those sets of thoughts. I was incredibly amazed at how immature my thinking was even a day or two ago in penciling in objectives for my course project in developing instructional design. And, that is why Wiggins became so important. He integrates with some of my other very high ranking goals. I think we already told you he’s working with BIG ideas/Great ideas as the real purpose in teaching knowledge and skills. I think he would say that there is a lot of context to do this work; almost never-ending. I mean as a kid Encyclopedia Brown solved mysteries by the art of fingerprinting and general sleuthing. It – the book of his adventures was a simple context. Do you know the author of that series just died? L I’m really feeling optimistic though about putting my energy into learning, e-learning to be exact and then focusing in on multiples. I think a lot can be done to learn from them.
I decided yesterday to make my one “big” idea … not just talking to multiples, or reading from them, or watching them on the video, although those could be places that will be used. The big idea was to ask the question of having a mind, or having multiple minds – and, what would be the ramification in thought, emotion, or behaviors. Dealing with the mind is our really big idea. Most likely our first project will still be exploring the definitions, though in 2D. Most big ideas are concepts still in development by human kind. They are like instrumental to life, but difficult to pinpoint as having one conclusion, or that it can be carried in just one stream of thought. That’s what makes it so BIG!
Another thought that Wiggins discusses, and it might be the whole premise to his book, but he asks designers to chain backwards and so you start with the conclusion “getting to the big idea,” and then you fill in the parameters, and then you color in the specific tasks to be resolved or investigated. He really seeks the learner’s actual input into the process, where in the past it has been the job of a teacher to direct more. Teacher’s don’t as often stand and give lectures, or at least they shouldn’t and people have opportunities then of not looking for any one answer, a given one, but an answer that is likely to contribute to more in-depth thinking and problem-solving. There is a pretty big puzzle out there in the world to solve. The theory encourages learners to step up to the plate and formulate their own perceptions. AND, the perceptions should encourage the learner to then assist or help the next guy toward he or she finding answers to big questions too. It’s not about facts though one builds knowledge. Primarily though, the intent is building understanding which is kind of a conceptualization of simple knowledge through “doing and being.”
To me knowledge is like truth or binary numbers – true or false. Information is pulled together and the knowledge gained from it is ok, so maybe some gradient of true to false, depending on the securing of other variables. Once you start understanding your own base, you are in a better position to collaborate with others in solving world problems and issues. Someone like Bill Gates shows a great extent of what can be done just looking into the field of AIDs research, hunger, or education. He developed a platform in which to join others in contributing toward human growth and potential. It’s pretty amazing and he’s one of my strongest role-models. On our blog, we have the statement that if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. So, it’s then like ok, let’s get busy with life and see how to raise its quality internationally to all people.
What is my part? I don’t know … you’ve gone through with us the struggles we’ve had in realigning our new world without going in for a paycheck and then forcing our brains to dominate for someone else who could or could not give a damn. If you are doing things right, you will be doing what you absolutely love doing the best. For me, it is this writing and reading and learning and implementing and in general just thinking that cycle themselves back into the community especially through social media and the new e-learning platform. Our particular niche though is through multiplicity and education. It is one of our most personal possessions and we’re proud of it. We’ve been given opportunities to think more and improve our situation (not resolved all the problems), but improve it to the point that we can think now freely of things that matter a great deal to us.
We still have to learn the discipline so that we can continue doing it through education, but I am convinced that we’ve got the ultimate perfect life for our circumstance. No, I still can’t grocery shop, or walk around the block, but we’re working on those things too. It’s all a big, hopefully long process of becoming. We’re working toward generating insights to which we have no knowledge of at this point. We have our own perspective, but we haven’t really started too much with other multiples to see what they have learned and what kind of information they would also like to share, or if we can cumulate it. The mere thought of considering a set or unset number of minds … we would like to think within one brain as a near first example is perfect for the world’s stage. Our niche will become not only the individual multiple, but the culture of multiplicity. I can’t believe that it has come that far. Maybe there are multiples in close relationship with one another, but now it seems that if you get two multiples in the same room, it is highly likely one will be asking the other to help them or one of their parts, generally a younger part who is giving the older trouble, will be asking for attention, or is just plainly preoccupying the body’s time in avoidance of something else.
I picked up something from Dell. He likes to call multiples by the name “Insider.” Maybe we’ll try to learn that new phrase in that it has some pretty cool implications. I understand DID never make it through the popularity to become a mainstay. Usually people say “DID, the old MPD” Insider has a chance because it fits and it is probable that it will insult fewer multiples. Ok, that’s aside note, like when we were working with Rich this morning and discussed using the simple terms customers and associates and the classification of “paperwork,” and what all that would mean procedurally. What we are reaching for her is acceptable terminology or a simple “handle.”
Basically, something we would be directing the learner to in our course, is that there are different things or ways of processing thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Because of trauma (usually abuse at a very early age given greater intelligence and creativity) the “insider” goes within to resolve issues of coping that she isn’t being assisted with in the external world. She has little to no valid supports, or she has "supports" that are very unworthy and/or dangerous – most likely. Certainly, that is going to put thoughts in her head as to conceiving or perceiving things differently. It's the whole business of attachment theorie ... she has had no one to assist her calm down after an anxiety overload. Then, when you take a look at an Insider and recognize through whichever primary brain functions and adaptations it has made, the Insider carries viewpoints of two or more others. Within that family or system, as we like to think, there are various perceptions of life – say that of a curious six year old, a rebellious teenager, a self-injurious young adult and perhaps at the very least several adults with different levels of preoccupation.
In general, if we were saying in the above that it is important for the world to come together or collaborate to solve world problems and issues, and then one could realize that as a set of Insiders, we each carry a function, or act as microcosm of an entire life span. What does the above group of parts hold together as a common denominator and what is it that drives them apart in their differences. It is our belief one of the most important things that good therapy will do is teach the Insiders how to communicate so that the body/brain are all going in the same general direction though there are a bevy of impressions on how to get to the next-first-step. I might think it most important to prioritize writing, another prioritizes school work, another steaming the shirts, another taking a nap, etc. The reality of having all those differences (including tolerance and intolerance levels) in just one body demands that there be resolutions, such as Sarah wanting to work on our fitness, where KC and Casey want to eat cookies and ice cream. There has to be compromises or concessions. We need to be better than the United Nations on an inner-personal level, and we have to learn different parts' nuances so that when it is our turn, we can present ourselves collectively in some seamless fashion so as not to disturb too greatly the fine balance of our external priorities or those priorities of outsiders.
We read yesterday the interesting account of another insider who was a good writer and who was in a message dialogue with a male outsider. The male was showing the insider attention that was invasive. Perhaps not to the part that was out initially who was being helpful in answering his generic questions. People meeting multiples usually have a couple quick questions as they try to put our world into their perspective. But, as the situation progressed, the outsider indicated in some form or fashion that he would like to meet younger insider parts. The watchdogs of the system then came out and were immediately hostile toward him, and then backed him away quickly, and then indignant parts came out as a balancer to what had just happened in consideration of the other's audacity. Each of the parts was being so honestly themselves, that after the wake, they had to as a group, regroup and come to a new growth understanding from the experience. Such as what might a younger part have thought when an older protective part snapped at the outsider and then what modeling was completed when the older part became impatient and resentful. Could the younger part comprehend anger was at the outsider and not herself? Could the younger part understand why the “system” was offended? What questions might she have, did she feel safe now, or what kind of support can the older one need after having been emotionally overwhelmed with anger and perhaps fear, and a sudden potential internal demand to go toward poorer resolutions to self-sabotag like a cat learning to hide quickly? Would it take a day? More? In summary, how then might this establish in the world the importance of boundaries or their understanding of social psychology, or how people with one or more minds though one brain might function? Or, neuropsychologically it be explained? Could a new way of thoughts be of advantage in the world?
The insiders have very strong pronounced perceptions different from one another, but in a world that contains outsiders – even other multiples there has to be some level of adjustment for experience not just of oneself or the outsider, but of the many insiders, outsider, and self. And, then in turn another insider part comes out to balance also for herself and the “mini-trauma” of hyper-alertness just presented and by the time the entire troop has worked through some resolution, a dozen other problems have cropped up, particularly in the management of time which has gone on without her taking care of the system’s normal course of events - like Shoot! Where did the day just go? How much time did we lose THIS time?
Speaking of … it is time for us to be more conscious of the time needed for school. So, I think what we are going to do here is back out of this personally more poignant conversation, make ourselves a lunch shake, scribble out some remaining squabbles, and then get going in the other activity of where we left off in our reading. So, at that … hold on, we’ll brb.
Back … WITH a chocolate shake and our last cup of coffee – we’ve probably way outdone ourselves at that. We started two pots and shared with Rich, but usually the two of us drink one pot, so ONE of us might possibly be over-caffeinated? Maybe, not committing to that for sure, k? After we get done with those two drinks, we’ll go through a bottle of water, and then have a pop or two throughout the remainder of the day. Usually for dinner though, we are back to the water. We drink the zero stuff, but like it to study with - again, another preference by parts who study, just as well known there is a strong desire to sit on couch with feet up while reading. It’s living in a system, you know? If we don’t fight the tendencies to individuate then life goes much smoother, and the faster we’re done with writing, the sooner and happier they will be, and the safer the system will be in consideration of school responsibilities. Makes sense, right?
We would as well like to spend more time with the Adobe, but it makes sense to learn about what to put into the questions, links, videos, assessments, etc., then to just jump in to it. We did read something today by one of the main outsider representatives from the Adobe line-up that there is a system to put things like links in the slideshow as well as video, open questions, true-false, etc. We have fallen behind as to reading. Oh, you know that? Fine. I think if at all possible though we would like to test our own model at the end of the course. Could I insert that as part of the time equation? Fair labor act, you know? If we were lucky there would be a week between ending and starting the next session. That would certainly help.
I have been really happy with the Diigo too. Okay we are belaboring the point. But, we’ve got several additions that we’ve added so far. i.e. … man that was too hard to copy over titles – I guess you will have to wait for the round-up on Saturday. That’s a new feature we’ve added to our work, where everything through the week through Diigo, goes to our blog in the form of a wrap-up, and then we link that to our Twitter account. I would like to post it on Saturday OR Sunday, and again once more on Monday morning. It is just a matter of reaching a different audience at different attention levels. We’ll figure it out.
I’m not so crazy about our followers at this point. Not to upset anyone, but I don’t know the science of it all. We’ve got more marketers than people interested in multiplicity or e-learning. We’ll have to work on that. I figured this morning that the best way to do that was to re-tweet so you are sent and hope for the same, so you are sent through different audiences who might want to pick you up, but that means the quality of the posts have to be pretty good and we are not there yet.
We’re still tending to write long. It seems longer time-wise without the Dragon, which reminds me today or tomorrow my computer might be coming back from the shop … hopefully as spiffy as ever before. Rich won't be home in time to pick it up. Are we actually going to go outside? Hmm, thinking not. I’m afraid he is going to tell me we’ve lost programs, and then we’ll be majorly bummed. We’re not going to go into that negative space now. Let’s hope for the best. I do trust they know what they are doing particularly in comparison to us.
Anything else … let’s see … edit once or twice, finish drinks, start the dishwasher and wash a load of clothes? Hmm, that last one is highly doubtful – though when we do do it, we’ll have to put in a load of towels and little rugs - just reminding! No fun there! Ok, ok … so laundry isn’t fun … WELL ok, we’re listening like a see-saw … laundry CAN be fun… Ok, best to leave all our options out on the table with that one. Whoever gets to it first, PLEASE??!
Just ONE little check on Twitter, but it HAS to be after the editing, K? We really need to finish reading and get a paper in. Lordy, how many times have we said that? BUT, it’s the truth. The teacher is going to think we abandoned school. We’re trying to listen to Dr. Marvin and not worry about the grade. We still have an A, but if we are not careful we are going to lose that status, BUT the most important thing is that we cannot give up this time.
I do like that it seems we’re more a person left on our resource-ability than ever before rather than being someone else’s old employee. I wish we had a title that went more than JUST Insider, JUST student, JUST domestic Goddess, or JUST writer. Could include a few others in there like Mom, Girlfriend, Quilter - Ok ok … you get the idea. Let’s look at that for a second. What is the business of Ann’s? What is a phrase that explains to an outsider what it is we do from the time we wake up to until we go to bed?
Hmm, there is something else there. Someone has been picking up since on the internal radar something since this course started, she's toying with the concept of us being a "designer, " or more decidedly, an instructional designer. Could we go as far to say an online Instructional designer for Multiples? An Insiders’ online instructional designer? What about the student and the writer portions? Learner designing online instruction for insiders and outsiders. Hmm, we’ll have to keep working at that. These kinds of things might be more important to our Linked-In account more than anything, but I know too we have to make something we can think of easily as a targeted goal, so we can put in all the variables to get us exactly where we want to goin our moment to moment planning and executing. Let’s look at that one more time.
We are learning to design e-learning content for people both in- and outside a dissociative platform
*Giggling* Ok, we’re going with that for the time being.
Hmm, what would the acronym be?
Hmm, what would the acronym be?
LDELCFPBIAOADP ROFL Ok, maybe not all that.
How about, “We are a writer/student learning to design e-learning for a dissociative platform.” I like that … it’s getting smoother J