Thursday, November 15, 2012 @ 11:24 AM
Good morning or for the most part … good afternoon. This is finally us and it seems to have been a long time since writing – at least for about 12 days. It says at our multiple site that we last posted on Sunday November 4th and we had wrote the entry on Saturday, November 3rd. At the time we were a bit gloomy because Rich had gone fishing for the weekend and then Linda was out visiting with Tony and then had gone to a coin show on Saturday. We had been working with our Learning Management System (LMS) and apparently had tried setting-up a couple of courses. We also left a section – not sure why called 101 Important Questions to Ask Yourself. And, then last we noted how cold we were and that we lost time for the rest of the day.
That’s our update summary. I think what has been happening primarily since that time was in building up to go to the quilting retreat, and then we went to the retreat, and then we’ve been trying to handle the effects of “after the retreat.” We missed Dr. Marvin’s appointments on the first Tuesday and then Thursday, and by the time we got in an appointment this last Tuesday, we were pretty fried. I don’t mean to make that more serious than it was, but we walked into his doorway regressed, had a very difficult time putting together words (Anniemi), and then soon after regressed to Mimi’s level. I remember someone asking him if we could lie down on the couch and had been concerned with putting our feet on the couch.
We came out of that state about quarter to the hour, so we had 15 minutes left. I don’t know who was out after that or what they talked about. We’re thinking that we were still talking about Ann and the retreat. It had overwhelmed our system. I think to be fair that the things that were going on toward the difficulty with the store owner and retreat leader were that her behavior was feeding into behavior that was similar to our mother and Sr. Theresa. We’ve had two nightmares about Sr. Theresa since that time. One was last night and was about again being called back to work and the part we’re still remembering was in trying to get this impossible (hurricane Sandy) type mess cleaned out so that we had a place to be and sleep. We’re thinking now that it was triggered by the same kinds of situation as the retreat, where we had to carve out our sleeping and quilting corners from what we were given.
We’re back now … it’s about 1:38 PM. We had talked to Linda for a few moments, and then she left to do some errands, and we took care of a few things like taking our shower. Dr. Marvin had called because we had missed his note yesterday asking that the appointment be ½ hour early. That was no problem. We also got a call from our landlord … that doesn’t happen very often because our check is paid monthly automatically, but now it is like one week late and he has a reasonable claim to know where it is. We had known there was money in the bank, so we called Rich who handles the money accounts and bills. He said that the bank had earlier posted that it went out, but the amount was still in the account or something like that. He had thought he’d taken care of the problem, but didn’t follow-up and so then wanted me to call back Mike and tell him he was handling it. We blew up because he hadn’t handled it before and we weren’t going to tell Mike something that wasn’t taken care of so we told Rich he could call Mike after things were fixed and he could tell him when and where the money was. But, then Rich pulled a cranky and said we should do it … and after that there were a ummm few moments of tension. We each hung up mad and I called back and left Mike’s phone number on Rich’s answering service, but then he called back on our way to the shower. We did not return his call, because we hadn’t thought he’d listened to the message. So that is where that ends right now. BLAH!
It’s not my business to handle it’s Rich’s.
Moving on. We also got a chance to write a note to Mary Ann the new quilter we met at the Retreat. LV Linda was adamant that if you had a special quilt done that it should have something other than meandering or loops as the other Linda does. LV Linda said that those kinds of quilting designs were for utility quilts. It took her a bit of prodding, but we eventually agreed to talk to the woman she said does a really nice quilting business with the Quilted Basket – Ann’s shop. We went over prices and found that along with doing a much better design – an Indian pot with extra’s for the SW quilt, but that she charged less for it. She charges .015 per square foot. It comes out to about to be only about $4-5 less expensive. I’m hoping we won’t lose a friend over it and for some quilts, we will continue having Linda quilt if she would like, but it’s hard not to accept a deal where we’re getting more for less. I think both women put good work into the quilting so that is that, but part of the quality of Mary Ann’s quilting is that her machine is bigger and better than Linda’s so she is able to do bigger quilts and use a computer regulator which does the actual stitching per design the operator presses into it. Again we feel bad about not giving all our business to Linda, but Mary Ann can replace the work we had Karie up in Bemidji doing. I’m hoping that Mary Ann’s work is as good as her, and Karie also had a big machine and regulator. Just with Karie – you have to meet her days open – and can really only submit a quilt like 4 times a year. As soon as we can come up with the money we have 3 quilts we’d like to give Mary Ann – Along with the two quilts for Linda, and then we have one more small quilt to do ourselves, and then the WHOPPER of work will be that all six quilts will have to be bound by us in time for Christmas … that’s a LOT of hand sewing!
But that will be our task.
Let’s see is that right?
Marine, Austin, Laura’s, Mom’s, Rich’s, then Cari, Duyen, and Nikki’s with Cari’s and Duyen’s being completely done. Hmm. One more … we still have CS quilt to do too – the one she gave to me. YEEKS … way over budget. Better hold back again.
We went over the pottery quilt … especially with CS and LV Linda, but that one was too complicated for the situation being in the room of many others, lots of noise and distraction, and a small working area. That one though is still for me and it only has 2 squares so far of the 12 and still needs some time to figure out and systematize. I might think of cutting pieces out of something else and then doing some experimenting. I hadn’t thought of that before, but it would be a real good idea. The first one is always the hardest.
We’ve only got about 45 minutes now before leaving for Dr. Marvin’s. We had stated before we were a little discombobulated at his place, and now already are going back into it. Not sure if that’s going to be a real fun thing. We’re thinking not, but at least after having younger parts out … Dr. Marvin has told us the pattern is to have older parts out after to figure things out. Younger parts days are really tiring because of all the raw emotion. We might get to see Linda later tonight. I think she was getting back from chores about the time we were going to be leaving. I think Rich said that he’d be coming home tonight too. He had made the special dressed up in biscuit hot dogs and made macaroni and cheese – he NEVER makes that and we love it! I think he’s going to cook something else for a little bit tonight and mostly for tomorrow. I’m not sure, but thinking he might have a basketball game.
Rich said something about cleaning up around her before next week – being Thanksgiving and having the kids over on the 24th. I should call this weekend to make sure everyone is good and hopefully we will discuss some of what is necessary with Rich. Especially like menus. I will have to have bounced back by then. This has been a lousy week for keeping up with things. We’ve stuck pretty close to the sewing and we haven’t been doing too much housework. Everything seems overwhelming.
As to the Quilt retreat weekend … we had a great time with the girls, but not such a great time with Ann the owner and retreat “boss.” She was very exclusive and just stayed downstairs with a few of her favorites. The only time she seemed to come up was during official things like introduction of the group and rules, a few instances of serving food, and to collect money at the end. I was having a progressively worse and worse experience, in that throughout the whole trip she never tried to have a personal communication such as “Hi Ann, how are you doing? Or, Are you having a good time?” something on that order. She once asked where my sister was and she called me over at the very end to settle my bill, but even then I sat down, she stated the amount, and then she said a curt thank-you when I handed her the checks. There was nothing more she gave than I would expect a cashier at her shop who was only doing perfunctory tasks.
By that point we were pretty enraged. We had sunk over $500 into the expense of the retreat and additional purchases at Ann’s store, and felt like we deserved at least a smile. She seemed to stay cranky with us the whole time, and we don’t think we did anything to deserve that. She did put LV Linda in the middle of our group with the twins, CS, Linda and me, and to our thinking that might have made her grouchy. Basically, Linda has been a close friend of hers – but, more a business associate. Linda still had to do business tasks for Ann and sew for her, but her fun time was spent more with people like us who were upstairs. We also spent good time with the late night bunch which always included Linda. Dr. Marvin thought she was showing signs of jealousy even though it was her that relocated Linda. Ann also said that there would be fewer people downstairs next year and more upstairs meaning even though the rooms were of equal size, they would go from about 9 people downstairs to five and then upstairs, we would go from 24 people to 29. Obviously it was already much more crowded upstairs, and the people downstairs weren’t sharing tables like those upstairs. The excuse Ann used was that it was too crowded downstairs. Pretty much we feel she just wants to have her closer friends downstairs – similar to a popular cheerleading group and have less interaction with the upstairs people – the one’s she was trying to make money from.
One of the other turning points of the event was a part where Ann had her husband come to serve drinks. After the first round was almost over, she had asked if there were others who wanted a drink. Myself and 3 others raised their hands. It was taking a while, so we went in to get our drink … Ann tried to ask her husband if he knew me and he didn’t turn his head toward us or respond either the first or second attempt. And, then she said she would bring out the drink. We hesitated which caused her to again say don’t worry I will bring it out. She did serve the other two people, but she forgot to serve me … and we were thinking it was much too convenient. She held up the glass afterward and said she made an extra drink and did anybody want it. We took that as highly insulting that she had skipped us and had then expected us to say … yes, we are the “ANYbody” that would like the drink. I thought that kind of behavior was below us, so we just ignored the drinking situation she had promoted. But, we were mad at not being treated better.
There was one other situation. When CS got there finally after being two days late, we had helped her with her bag and then was talking to her I was the outside of my table and she was next to us on the outside of her table. Ann came up and directly sat in front of us with her back turned toward us and she asked CS questions that unfortunately CS appreciates, but to me seem like feeding the gossip mill. Ann didn’t really give any indication she was CS friend, but that she wanted to be able to talk about her. In the meantime she had closed us off from the communicating with our sister as if we hadn’t been there. It was an abrupt entering into a conversation with CS, and then an abrupt – being gone. We had seen her talk personally with others, though mostly the downstairs people.
Ok, one more story … we had not felt like going out for lunch, because we were staying up until 3-4 AM and then waking mid-morning to have breakfast which was then too close to lunch. I didn’t have a problem with it because it gave us some “downtime” where there weren’t people around. One of the times we did go to a meal, we sat with a couple of new people. There had been 5 people new to the group. The two who sat with us were talkers and people who were teaching special machine embroidery on the sewing machines. The other had asked us our name and where we were from and we gave her the name and stated Chicago. The other one who seemed much more in “command” asked where do you come in? And we told her my sister was from the area and was CS the one who had come in late. The second one, the one who asked this last question just threw her nose in the air and said, “oh THAT one.” And, from there on out she didn’t entertain any more conversation with us, I felt lessoned in her view, and she no longer looked directly at us. I had felt at the time like she’d talked to Ann or others downstairs, and now that she had “who” we were per gossip, she no longer wanted to have anything more to do with us. I had been dismissed.
I know you have heard these kinds of stories before. Again, Dr. Marvin thought that this kind of behavior triggered some of our longstanding problems in feeling or being treated as invisible as with my mother and former boss. So where these kinds of affronts weren’t being really felt by the others, they were being felt by me and they were making me angry, frustrated and lonely. We had to turn on our music a couple of times to calm down – and once after we’d burnt popcorn and made the whole place smell terrible. That made us feel pretty horrible. It’s like a sin from our past to have negative group attention on us.
I think part of the terrible part was that we’d started with so many good feelings for being there. We really were expecting to have a good time. We did have a good time with our peers though. We talked to many people there, and got to know a few more closely. Our favorites from the group this year other than our normal group were Gloria, Claudia, and Mary. I was so happy to spend time with them – especially Gloria. She was an extremely good listener and at one point let me go on in depth. Usually people don’t focus or concentrate as hard as she was. It seemed like listening … like us was something in her make-up and she talked about being interested in others. We really liked all three of these women a lot, but actually gave our name and number to Gloria.
With that we have to leave. It’s a really short accounting and maybe we’ll go into some of the other details later, but our alarm for Dr. Marvin, just went off. Hopefully, we’ll have adults at this meeting – and not so many parts with just bruised feelings.