Tuesday, December 18, 2012 @ 12:01 PM
Good morning or better yet afternoon. We just set-up our second set of pictures
over the last week that hasn’t been explained … we don’t have a lot of time for
these explanations, but we wanted to get something down before hopefully
another Dr. Marvin appointment in the next couple of days. We also are thinking at this time we might
show him the pictures so that he understand better our thoughts and then it
would be easier in our talking to him of the feelings of loss and gain. So first – I know that we are the ones
looking at the pictures as we’re writing, but maybe you could do a duplicate
set of screens for AMWP or better yet … just remember the general flow of what
is happening. We’ll start with the
sorting part first.
The first picture is a bin with a great amount of fabric
pieces stashed in it. The pieces from
this bin came from Linda, but we have similar bins with the other Linda, Connie
Sue and my Grandmother. The first thing
we do in this process of our quilting and making use of the material is to take
a pile out and then using our iron (see second picture), we make stacks of
fabric from uncrumpling, ironing, and then placing in a pile according to
size. There are the pieces that can be
folded in a 6” x 6” pile (see third picture), and then I’ve been making about 4”
of piles and then bundling them. There
was at this point not much other sorting … we were just stacking. (See next picture of bin) … the thing is that
we needed more order … you can see the bins are big and we have 9 of them to go
through and for the pieces to be utilized later in quilts or applique, there
had to be more order into the system.
The next sign accurately says “We’re not crazy – we are
mentally unrestricted!” This is about
how we were feeling about the process. I’m
pretty sure most people would think of this as a somewhat crazy project … I
mean scraps?
Soooo, what came next was that we figured that we needed a
way to sort the fabric by color or other and that after a LOT of looking and
comparing and reading reviews … we chose the 10 drawer sorter that is pictured
(see next – to the left of the Christmas tree).
We had gotten a gift from my mother in cash and we decided that Rich
would have $150 - $75 from me and $75 from my mother, and then we’d also get
the same and this was going to be for our major Christmas gift. Rich wants his gift to be a rod and real –
which we’re all good with and for our gift we are taking it to be the 10-Drawer
sorter AND the Jinny Beyer fandeck!
WooHoo … plenty to play with for Christmas morning too!
When we were arranging to purchase a set of drawers we did
some careful measuring and thought there would be plenty of space in front of
the electronics cords (see next picture) and that it would look much better in
the process. (See next picture) This is
how that corner looks now. It was touch
and go as to the getting process, but fact is this is where the new drawers are
sitting … and yes it was a good idea to give Rich back his credit card
number. *sigh*
So now the process is the same as to stacking and piling,
but then we sort in colors and we’ve labeled each of the drawers to be taking
in most of the colors we find. For those
really mixed up there is a “odd colored pieces” drawer at the bottom. (See next three pictures) We feel very confident in the drawers and
believe the system to really work. The
drawers are on wheels and so we can pull them out or leave them tucked
away. Not only do we have drawers for
each color – we also sort the colors from light to dark. You can see the stack on the yellow/orange
drawer is lighter (background fabric color and th stack on the left is the
darker colors. The drawers are about 10”
x 12” x 3”. The smaller pieces are in
the front two stacks, and in the back are the 6” x 6”s. THEN…
The next step to the project – AFTER the pieces have been
sorted, are to get them to either the white canvas shoeboxes hanging in the
closet (half seen in the next picture) or get them to the pink shoeboxes above
our cutting table in the sewing room.
The white canvas is for putting the 6” x 6” blocks, and the pink boxes
are for the smaller pieces. We have some
work to do here in further processing, but again the final result is that we
have pieces that match and can go into scrap quilt building. We also have (see next picture) the four
drawers of fat quarters. I think mostly
the fat quarters are relatively small and the white canvas are for a bit
bigger. Right now the fat quarters
(greens and blues shown in the drawers) are a collection from my sister and helped
to put together my mother’s quilt.
The next picture is the Jinny Beyer fan deck. We are going to try using this in our
matching of colors so that we can gauge the proper order of things – that work
out. For me … I look at just some of
these blues (see next picture) are all mixmatched, but the reality is that our
eyes skim over them like eye candy. We
love how it works in our mind. A lot of
our scraps have more white or more colored prints within the fabric, but then
the fan is more as a first ranging of things in order. Like to me this particular fan deck is
showing a lot of what seems muted colors but then there are a few brighter
blues. We need to learn about hues
(colors) and then the way colors … forget the words, but basically show
different intensities. Like with JB I
would have never thought to put a light blue – (see top of fan picture) with
the others, but it seems to make the others … I hate this word, but “pop.” I love JB. Quilts for their ability to be so
visually outstanding. I hope to do a lot
more of that kind of work in our future.
The next picture is of Jillian’s Christmas gift. She is now a Lucero … her picture is of a set
of three wedding rings and symbolized for me not only her marriage this year,
but that there family was now of three because of Nattie. It really is an excellent family and looking
forward to knowing more of what is going on in their lives. Mostly I think though Rich is the one that
hears from his daughter and they talk more probably in private, but we did want
to remember her this year in a small way and like so many other gifts – this year
we are really working on applique. The
last picture is of the cats. This shot
struck us as funny because we’d been working so hard at organizing that it gave
us the thought of sorting them out by baskets too. We were also struck that Missy was playing
with the WHITE fabric softener and that it had a “color” index of its own. For as much as we are getting into colors
again … It was a statement being made … I don’t think Missy is as interested in
colors as we J
I’m going to need a little break here though … It’s now 1 PM
and we’re going to take our medicine and jump in the shower. We’re going to be leaving for Dr. Marvin’s at
2 PM for an early 3 PM appointment. Rich
has a roast on that will be ready when we get back, and he said that he won’t
be home until around 7:30 PM. Yes, you
probably don’t know this yet, but we are FINALLY starting to talk to him
again. He’s been way deep in the dog
house over the last couple of days and this reflects activities of the second
set of pictures looking at houses. Yes,
you could probably guess that didn’t go so well, but that will be the next
hours’ discussion. BRB.
Ok, shower is done and popcorn is in the micro. Rich came home which was a good thing because
it was only him knocking on the bathroom door.
He wasn’t so happy we simply asked, “Who is it?” He was like were you
expecting someone else? No no … just
being polite. Hehehe. We were pretty sure a mad rapist wouldn’t
have knocked. Not sure where he is now
at his day, he hadn’t planned coming home.
I think something went wrong, but it doesn’t seem to be too major … he
was making a sandwich for his lunch.
Hmm, he sat down in back … I guess he’s still in his business mode.
Hmm, not too much time now to talk about the house. We had showered, taken our medicine, eaten
our popcorn, and gotten dressed. Just
now have to walk out the door in a half hour. Hmm, add find phone – another 4
minutes L Grrr… Kept walking past it on my sewing
table. That’s where we looked
first. Fortunately it was still charged
and we found it from using Rich’s phone to call the number. HMPF!
Trying not to be grouchy … feel a little bit like that. Just 23 minutes left. Feeling a sense of panic for not being able
to stay at home doing what we want.
Scrolling over to the Plano Townhouse pictures makes me want to cry
because we now know that it is an impossible deal with Rich. He’s planted firmly on it not being a place
with stairs. You might have caught me
already complaining about that. The
pictures show first the town houses in general – their general overall
appearance. Then there is a diagram with
the houses pictured. The house was their
model house so it is in an ideal location away from the others a bit with a big
parking lot next to it. There are four
places in the building. Also if you look
at it closely you can see the ponds and in particular that it is surrounded by
baseball fields. That was one of Rich’s
ideals.
The third picture is what the unit looks like. One unit is the two car garage, (one master
bedroom window over that), and then you see two doors each going to separate
residences. The window over the door (on
the left) is over the hallway area – it is very open. The next thing is the floor plan. You can see that it has in general 6 rooms …
we knew we had to stay fairly small for Rich to be happy. One of the rooms is a loft which is what made
us the HAPPIEST! It was a decent size
and had the laundry on the second floor along with two baths so Rich and I
would have each had our own – and then the 2nd bedroom would have
been the real sewing room. The loft has
a build in desk – you’ll see further down and above the family room is open so
across from some really beautiful spindles and mahagony railing you can be with
people downstairs, but not at the same time which would have been optimal for
Rich and us and kept my “fray” away from the living space. We had thought through enough so that we
would have left the ironing board out by the railing so that we could be there
and with Rich at the same time without crowding us and giving me space away
from the TV. You’ll see a picture of the
loft desk which is a built-in … it’s sooo beautiful … Rich would have continued
doing his work from the dining area, and we would have had the upstairs for our
computer.
There is no fireplace, but at this point inconsideration of
fabric smells we’re thinking that might be a bit of a positive. The dining room and living room area isn’t
big, but it is very comfortable and open to a very generous kitchen with 42”
cabinets. All the $5000+ utilities
stayed as well as we could have chosen for a low cost any of the furniture or
other belongings in the house for the price.
The asking price is $95,000 – which we felt very comfortable with …
Because it was a builder’s model it had many upgrades including even a sound
system piped through the house. The
house is built on a slab, so there is no extra storage, but you have a 2 car
garage and I’m not thrilled with the thought of a basement being flooded. I know could be a first floor and that would
be rare, but somehow basement space is still underneath space. Someone would have to really have done a good
job – with REAL walls for me to be happy with it.
If you can follow the pictures (see under) you would have
seen the nice shades of yellow and green which match our furniture. It has a nice door going out the back – and a
slab for BBQ. The master bedroom isn’t
real large, but it is as big as our bedroom, but has a walk in closet and
private bath … It also has the gorgeous window with the arch – AND fan … and
lets mention again … laundry upstairs next to the master bedroom.
We’re looking at the time and understanding that a decent
conversation can’t be completed with just 8 minutes left. So maybe just a general impression and then
the rest we’ll work out with Dr. Marvin and then hope to write after that. The real impression is a feeling of
devastation. Not only in losing the house,
but in losing our belief in Rich. We’ve
gone through so many things like this with him in both houses, but as well in
being able to be a legitimate couple – him getting divorced, or us not getting
married, or covering us financially either now or in the future, especially if
something happened to him. It is such a
sinking feeling knowing that no matter what we want … we’ll never get it and
that he’s not capable of providing much better for us. Even the apartment that we’re living in – is my
apartment. And, even though we’re not
working contributing, we’re still putting $1400 a month into the pot. I know it’s not enough, but it is enough to
cover most my expenses. So he’s not
doing that for me. I can’t hold tightly here
because I know he does some nice things for me financially and through relating
with our different parts. But, I have no
hope that my personal life is ever going to be better. Just one drunk driver and I’m in a nursing
home the rest of my life. That is really
how it feels. There’s no security with
anything. I don’t know if it would be
any different if he was here or not. I
sure wouldn’t eat as well without him, and I really do love our sex life, just
that … I don’t know … Last week we were talking to Dr. Marvin about our sense
of entitlement. Maybe that will be the
major conversation today too.
I know he started the statement related to my sister, but
then something he said – and I think we asked him the question and it seemed
confirmed we also have feelings of entitlement … I think this is like now when
we’re expecting something from Rich without being able to do it on our
own. I don’t know. I don’t think much of our ability to do much
in life. I don’t know if this is going
to lead back to conversations on working with people on multiplicity or
finishing school. I don’t know … just
don’t feel very able. I like my life,
but I don’t like having so little. One
argument with a landlord and we’re without any home. Worst of all with Rich was that there was no
real talking … What he did was yell and produce all his negatives in one very
long speech. Afterward I felt beaten and
we didn’t talk to him for the next 2-3 days.
We’ve started now, but am feeling very depressed. Not sure how to handle it … we took some
extra pills, but just a few to calm down.
Our mind was just banging against our brain. I don’t know … time to go though now.
Good time to be seeing him.
Maybe he can help us make sense of our expectations. Just really down.
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