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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Moving past the OLLLLLD Year!

Monday, 12-30-13 @ 7:50 am

Good morning.  We have been up for a while, but am just getting to the point of knowing that I would like to write.  We had had a bad night.  I don’t think it started that way just a quick turn of events.  *Sigh*

I think we left off that we’d been writing and then Rich got done with his work, and then I think we had printed something out of the mind map (mm) that we wanted to look at, and then we fell asleep until Rich came home.  Apparently he stopped over at the pharmacy and at his mother’s to take care of that.  I think somewhere in here too – maybe though after dinner – that we started the dishwasher and cleaned-up MOST of the kitchen, but there were some dishes left over that didn’t fit in the dishwasher. 

Anyway after Rich came home we split our time between watching the Bears – Packers game with him and reviewing what we’d printed.  Bears were unfortunately not up to taking on the Packers.  We lost.  At halftime we pulled together dinner, which was a NO-COOKING dinner Hehehe.  Rich had been working on the piece parts in front of the TV – so we figured we could manage.  We had a double shrimp tray left over from the holidays, and he’d gotten chips, and there was a cracker/cheese/sausage tray left.  Parts of it weren’t as good, but we had an extra roll of hard salami and a new brick of cheese, plus Rich augmented with the Triscuits he keeps in the cupboard.  I stuck to the shrimp and chips, but there was plenty!  Neither of us was able to finish anything, but we gave it a good try J

I think after dinner we must have gone back to the little computer and I know the game was over and something else might have happened, not sure, but know we went on to watching the other 7 pm football game.  Actually, now that I think of it there was some extra time in there too because I knew that Rich had turned it over to CSI, but I think we fell asleep then, and we got up because Rich was going to take a shower and so made sure we got to bed and the football game was still on.  He gave my legs a good massage when he got out, but by then we were pretty much out of it.  We had taken a couple extra stress medicines to calm down and so had gotten drowsy. 

We had been overwhelmed.  This morning we got up – not sure when … we used the bathroom and then laid down on the couch.  First Missy wanted to be petted, and then that lead to petting Chief.  After that we figured we were not going to fall asleep so we got up and made coffee, and then Rich’s alarm went off – it was 6 am.  Just been in and out of things since – we had a little meeting with Rich this morning on money.  We wanted to make sure the petty cash account was covered and we felt the need to go over a couple of expenses that were “extras.”  I wasn’t sure if I could get compensation for them back because they came to about $500, which seems like a lot of money.  Basically, there were five items.  1) Angels ($115), 2) gas for car ($130), 3) Herbalife ($90), 4) Dropbox (personal and Rich’s business) ($100), and 5) the sheers for the bedroom ($65).  They’d all been covered, but that’s a significant amount out of our account.  The angels I figured were household, Rich used to cover the gas in my car, I figured we should be reimbursed for his business expense, taking care of food is usually on him – since I take care of land rent, electric, gas, furniture payment, and cable, AND the sheers were supposed to be part of my Christmas gift. 

Ok, ok … it could work the other way too where all those things I’d made choices about first, so they’d be under my responsibility.  So, we went in the approach that maybe we could split the costs 50-50.  Unfortunately, Rich said that I had more money expendable then him and he couldn’t do anything to compensate the charge.  But, he did remind me of a new bill I’d made yesterday and that had gone on his account – PLUS the fabric.  I know he is right … And, I think all those expenses were justified, so can’t do much but eat the cost.  I know that he’s trying hard to keep up with his end, but again must always come up with the Ex’s $3000 before he can bring anything into the family.  PLUS, he’s still behind in his business expenses – THOUGH I was happy to hear he’s working on bringing down the debt.  I think he has to reevaluate that situation to see exactly what he owes, but it is primarily one company who was doing work for him.  The other 3-4 companies are basically paid.  Not sure why the one had gotten ahead of him, but thinking having to come up with the extra $36,000 a year is taking a toll on him.  I don’t know how long he’s going to be able to keep it up.

We did have one vacation this year, but it was up to my mothers and she gave me the hotel for my birthday present and covered most the meals. 

Main thing is that we did buy a house this year, and though only $52,000 that was covered without going into regular costs … the extras can add on like needing a lawn mower, carpet cleaner, or furniture.  Ok, enough of that. 

We’re thinking we’re in a money figuring mood?  It’s one of those things that come up I guess toward the beginning of a New Year.  Just want to finalize the old year and get a good sight on the new one.    

Have to readjust our thinking here.  Just caught up with our morning medicine and had taken just one extra on the anxiety medicine.  We don’t want to be tired, but we also don’t want to be unable to function.  Plus, we finished the holiday mashed potatoes and THAT was a full bowl … Maybe leading me to feelings of grogginess more than anything.  *sigh* Why is it that we NEVER seem to learn?!

Ok … this is where we have to start from again.  We’re having trouble being clear so we’re going to need really concentrating.  I figure this last plex image is where we should start, and then the next thing that came to mind is the “Next Action Reminders.”  That’s the part that we left off on that categorizes areas of things we have to be doing.
This next plex is most of the breakdown the Next Action Reminders. 

Now we have to stop and try to figure out what’s happening.  We’ve been in a pretty kissy mood with Rich.  Every time he passes by or there is an opportunity of us passing by we reach out for a smooch. WooLaLa!!!  Maybe this is a good level of stress medication … J

Ok, you … get a grip on it!

We’ve got to focus.  Where were we?  I think we have been trying to as a long range goal figure out how we’re going to be more organized for the next year.  We’re a long ways from that … I think the first part though was that we wanted to check-in to our last system, because idealistically, we want to do mostly what we’d started there.  We’re saying this blindly, because we don’t know really where we left off.  I know that we were pretty much into things, and then Thom was coming home, and then that worked into the holidays, and now we are here pre-NYE. 

I have to say upfront there is always this desire to think through the I Ching because this was something that we’d put so much energy into at one point.  I know it’s a long shot, and probably we’ll never have enough time to do it the way we’d done it back in 1987 – WOW … that’s already 27 years ago?  OMG … that was a long time ago.  Basically, what we’d done was asked questions and then looked through materials from the I Ching to see which way the divinity was pointing, and through the reading “scripture,” we tried to figure the answer to our question, or rephrase thoughts to be pondered next that would better situate the thought we were trying to get to. 

Aha!  Done!  We just downloaded an app – unfortunately I think it charged $4.99 to Rich’s account.  That wasn’t a good part, but after it’s purchased it’s ours.  They had a free version, but it held out information that you really needed to use the oracle.  The app is now on our phone, and it has a “send” feature to Facebook.  This was the first item …

"I would like to use the I Ching in 2014" followed by this ….

“[Containment of Potential] 

This points to the containment of great power -- power that increases as it is wisely stewarded. Like a river which has been dammed, or a cooking pot with the lid on, holding and containing power produces enormous potential. During normal times, daily ritual and habit help keep life ordered and serene; but in times of great opportunity, the force of a powerful personality is required. Focused attention is required to channel this great potential and achieve supreme success. With regard to what is on your mind, you have considerable reserves of energy and support to draw upon. This is the right time to nurture creativity by collecting and organizing your good ideas and plans. In this way, even great and difficult undertakings can be successful. A hidden source of power for the great is the study of the past. The lives of wise and successful men and women are like treasures buried in the earth. Great good fortune comes to those who unearth these valuable treasures by applying the lessons of the ages to current events.

We’re delighted with the message.  It seems like a major yes as to internal thoughts on using the I Ching. In our mind one of the most important things in life is the sense of “progressing.”  I think the I Ching can act as a guide, but that it does required the focused attention.  I think we have to set some limits here.  The first one is in its daily usage.  After just a few moments of thought, we’d like to try sticking to no more than three times a day.  To us this means either three separate times, or a combination equaling UP to three, but individually, it would be spread between morning, afternoon, and evening.  I liked that it stated that it was “the right time to nurture creativity by collecting and organizing your [our] good ideas and plans.” And, is often the case the reading seems to be written EXACTLY for the statement we wrote in wanting to use the I Ching.  We are reading the usage of the oracle a little differently though in that before we were asking questions (but not yes/no questions), and this time it points to statements or decisions.  I think we’ll discover more about that as we go along, but for now it just feels the right thing to do … more conclusive than open questions to MAKE the decisions.  First make the decision and then see the result J

Oh, and one more thing … we left the sites “calling card” on our profile FB message board, but we hid the actual quote that we took from above.  It is obviously not THAT private, because we are including it here on our blog, but with up to possibly three a day, it would feel overbearing I believe to the regular 500 some people who might get my posts.  I also thought it would be very useful to have it on FB, because it goes along with a flow of my everyday thoughts, but more on the personal side so that I could make statements without having to consider – directing people from my more normal posts.  I think in general, to people who don’t understand the I Ching, it could be a “goofy” thing to do like reading your horoscope.  I think the practice has been taken in that direction, but I also believe the practice has been around for thousands of years and has stood the test of time.  We’ve got a handful of books if we ever wanted to take it more deeply as to others’ translations, but for the everyday use … I think it has a very high rating like 4.8 with over three hundred people weighing in.  BTW the version we are us is from Paul O’Brien’s. 

Ok, moving on from there.  We might want to go back to some of our thoughts on scheduling ourselves to be accomplishing, but a BIG obstacle there is that we don’t generally keep up with scheduling ourselves because we want to add other things to our life as they come up.  This will also touch basis on what we do for domestic Goddessing and weight/exercise.  I’m more eager to go and update the next action reminders than think of schedules, but maybe all that goes together.  There is a “scheduling” feature of our MM.  Basically, we’ve used David Allen’s model of “Getting Things Done.”  But, we’ve veered from its daily practice.  Maybe there is something that we were supposed to do when we got up as to checking in with what we’ve outlined?

Hmm, have to check where we were writing a few moments ago.  It’s now 12:22 pm and we’re coming out of a frustrating fog.  We tried to sync the two calendars – Google with the MM, but we couldn’t make it work.  We’ve checked with someone from the MM and he was useless.  We know what is supposed to happen and we checked all our securities (passwords) and it should be going through, but it isn’t.  We even read the manual.  You know when all else fails?  Nothing.  We are now even more frustrated, because we were going to use one of those systems, we’d like for them to work together. 

SHOOT SHOOT … now its even worse.  We tried to get at least the Outlook file to sync and it’s in a long task program – now up to 12 more minutes.  I think what it is doing is syncing the folders that we have saved on aol – which includes years of emails for the Google and the Groups.  That’s the only thing I can imagine taking up this much time.  It started adding just a minute or two, but now 13 minutes, and mos likely going to keep climbing, at least it hasn’t stopped yet.   UmHmm.  Now it’s at 14 minutes. It’s completed 6 of 8 tasks to do with both my email accounts and a third I had forgotten about and my Internet calendar subscriptions that’s why I keep going – 15 minutes.  WRONG direction!  The best possibility is I have duplicates of the Google searches … the worst is if it just erases all them.  Nothing to do … either wait or cancel all synching.  16 minutes.  Maybe we better turn away?  That be the right thing to do, hmm?

Hard to tell what to do next.  We’re a long ways from confirming anything being coordinated enough to use.  The Google one has the most hope, but is not coordinating with the MM.  It does coordinate on my phone, and on a second calendar on my Outlook, but on Outlook, it is saying that it is read only.  What a bunch of smunch.  Maybe it would be better if I could clarify what I would really like to use any of it for. 

Hmm, another little break … It’s now 3:30 pm.  We’ve been off the phone for about 20-30 minutes, but we’d had a long call with my Mother.  She called because she had gotten her Christmas gift, AND she liked it!  She didn’t know what to do with it, but she did very well with the brief lessons.  We started with turning it on and showing her how to slide the lock.  Then we went through lots of stuff – and really hit it hard about getting to the books section.  I guessed right in that she didn’t have wi-fi.  I hadn’t realized though she didn’t even have wi-fi for the laptop.  We’ll talk to her about that later down the line.  I think when we added it to our set-up it only cost like $2.50 per month.  She could now use it for both laptop and kindle … we tried to insinuate that she could be online ANYwhere in her home… It’s true Hehehe.  It’s inviting.  We said something about “smartphones” and we couldn’t come up with the right way of explaining it and fell to – well, you don’t know what it is, but most likely all your kids do.

Anyway … she was getting around pretty good … we knew part of the focus was that she had to get used to finding the “home” button no matter where she was and return home.  Also she had known the part of getting really frustrated and just turning off and on the Kindle.  She had a good learning attitude throughout so it was kind of fun. It reminded me of the training we used to do with the staff, but my mother was more bent on learning.  I could tell too toward the end I would just have to let her go, because she wanted to go play.  We did talk about getting books and music on the thing through the Internet through both Amazon and Rhapsody.  Oh, and she happened across “Fruit Ninja.” So we explained that one too J  I know she’s not big on games, but I hope she goes back to it.  It’s a good way to learn sliding around on the top.

I think the best part was that she just seemed excited to see one and to have one in her hands.  Its not something she would accept by asking … just had to go do it.  Think that got done today J

I’m not sure we’re up to doing too much more without a break.  Rich took a long nap this afternoon and now he’s on his computer looking up Medicaid.  We’ll see how far he gets without using help.  He’s real good about getting on the phone to call people that can explain stuff to him.  He’s not afraid to ask and usually catches on very quickly.  Thinking we’re going to turn down the TV a bit and slip into a cuddle … hmm, bed or couch?  Maybe couch that’s SORTA like not sleeping for real  ;)

Tuesday, December 31, 2013 @ 3:14 pm

Hi hi … just us.  Not sure all what’s happened since the last time to this. I guess we were last talking about our Mother calling because of receiving her Kindle.  Have gone probably about 24 hours since then.  Do I remember anything of last night?  Think I was laying down early because I remember playing with Rich some covering up games with the big white comforter.  And, then that sooner or later led to dinner.  I think we had like sausage and noodles with gravy.  Then what?  Think we watched some TV with Rich … Remember Mike and Molly and probably some Big Bang.  Think Rich got an hour Plus massage last night and then we might have gone to bed.

This morning?  What do I remember.  I think we were sitting in the sitting room with Rich and remember him asking if we could cancel our appointment with Dr. Marvin.  He barely ever does that, but he’d promised Bob to be at his party tonight.  I think Bob’s inviting mostly family to drop by, but he’s Rich’s best friend.  I think we have a couple more hours before we go there.  We will have to jump in the shower in about an hour.  Not sure what to wear … Rich wants us to dress up?  YEEKS!

We did work with Dr. Marvin today in that although we canceled our appointment, we still discussed through email the pre-transcript to his podcast.  I then put a copy in the Group’s page and left a short note.  I’ve been so out of touch with the group lately.  I had gotten lost in things going back and forth whether to get a new site.  Not sure how all that worked between Jazz and the guys.  We’ll see.  We’re hoping that by Thursday, we can go over the pragmatic aspects and then by Tuesday’s appointment we can record.  Then Jim will edit, it will be put out another transcript made, and then that will be the end.  This seems to be dragging out a bit, so I hope we can come to a conclusion.  I think we’re going to need getting back to regular appointments.

1rst Reading:

Having the best relationship with Rich this year

[Following] - Present

Following brings supreme success. You may not be able to change the direction of the wind, but by frequently adjusting your sails, you can arrive at your destination and realize a joy that moves others to follow.

Those who would acquire a following must speak the language of their followers. Those who would be loved must become the imagined lover of their beloved. Those who would prosper must bend with the pressures of the world. In matters of principle, stand firm; in matters of style and taste, swim with the current. If guile or self-aggrandizement enters the equation, resistance will be what follows. Focus on the common good in order to remain unharmed.

In the affairs of humanity, change is constant, and old ideas are continually discarded in favor of new ones. Only by being adaptable to the demands of the time can a great leader emerge. Only by adjusting to changing circumstances can one prosper in the world of commerce. Remain flexible, and you will gain the confidence of those around you. Bend and you shall not break.

Activity and rest in good balance will not only serve the situation well, but will maintain a state of healthy energy, minimizing internal and external resistance to your goals.

Changing Line 2 –

Choose your associates carefully.  If you have incompetent people around you, the time may have come to dismiss them, or at least distance yourself from them.  At the same time, be wary of associating only with the strong and powerful.  The moon shines brightly in a sea of small stars, but vanishes with the rising of a single sun.

[Joy]  - Future

A joy that is shared suggests a group of friends playing, or a carefree young girl singing to herself while engaged in her work. Happiness is rising within, and spreading out into the world! Joy comes into the world through gentle means, but springs from a solid inner base. The power of pure joy should not be underestimated. The enjoyment of learning and discovery, for example, has been the source of much progress. Accordingly, that which brings joy into the world is a source of considerable power. If happiness is supported by personal stability, it will in time wear down the stiffest barrier and win over the hardest heart. True joy is a beacon in the world, and though it is, indeed, rare, its presence is an indication of great good fortune, both now and in the future. How could it be otherwise?

2nd Reading:

Summarize the ending of 2013

[Extended Family]

A family that thrives is one where healthy interdependence is supported. Respect for different roles is essential, especially between a wife and a husband whose joint authority is critical; however, strong and harmonious kinship is dependent upon every member of the clan. Trust, shared responsibilities, and good communication are essential. Each member must be encouraged to find his or her position and appropriate contribution. The functional family is a team that symbolizes the ideal of human interdependence, and has long provided a firm foundation for society. The healthy family is an embryo of society and the native soil in which ethical values take root and grow. Fertilize this soil, and the whole of society benefits. The forces that bind a family are the feminine and masculine balanced -- nurturing and receptivity combined with leadership and responsibility. In other words, good parenting. Their words should be consistent, have meaning and power. Siblings' relationships between themselves and the parents carry variations of the feminine and masculine also. Relationships in all kinds of teams are improved through cultivation of the receptive/responsible, yin/yang balance. Learn to listen and receive advice and aid from others, and be willing to assume an appropriate role in any group you are a part of or join. A good team player is supremely valuable to others.

[Creative Power]

The air is ripe with imagination, inspiration and energy. The dragon is an ancient symbol of an electrically charged, dynamic, arousing force that bodes well for creative initiative. If your goals are in alignment with the greater good, and you assert yourself in a positive way, your actions will meet with success. This is a good time to exercise leadership, because you can be strong now. But be forewarned: success turns to failure when strength turns to arrogance. This hexagram is one of the most auspicious in the Book of Changes. In effect, whoever draws this hexagram is assured success by following the six stages of its lines. By being sensitive to conditions and doing things in the right order, one develops greater influence. Time itself becomes the means to make real what is potent. Believe in your dreams and persevere, and everything around you will flourish. Call upon creative power and let it work through you. Stay focused on your goals; do not let yourself be distracted, or you may lose the power available to you now. And remember that when taking action, success requires good timing.

3rd Reading:

I would like to make the most of 2014


Endurance is fostered when inner constancy is coupled with external flexibility. Long-distance runners must adapt readily to changing conditions, while maintaining an inner determination and strength of purpose. Two trees growing near each other adapt to enhance each other's survival. A strong image of durability is a stable marriage of intimate partners striking a dynamic balance between involvement in the outside world and nourishment in the home. True endurance is not based on rigidity, for endurance implies movement, not immobilization. Only by adapting to change can we stay in the race, but only by deepening our sense of purpose can we develop the fortitude to win it. Continuity is achieved through movement, not by keeping still. That which has ceased to grow is close to death. Stay active, but allow yourself time to stay in touch with your innermost thoughts and feelings.

Hmm, trying not to feel intimidated by all that … It is a lot of thoughts to put together.  We’d decided previously no more than three readings a day.  So this is us for now.  I would like to write more about it when we are traveling in to Bob’s.  By then we’ll have the business of “getting ready,” over.  Thinking now would be a good time to take our shower.  Maybe stop in the back room to see what clothes we might wear … Drat, DRAT!

We’re back.  It’s now about 4:37 pm.  We’ve got just under and hour until we go.  My hair is still wet, but we’re dressed.  Had to disappoint Rich though … he wanted us dressed up, but we thought it too cold and snowy to wear one of our sheer dresses – W/O Boots!  We couldn’t find our one dress pants, but they were sheer too and would drag in the snow because they are long.  Instead, we settled for good jeans and a shirt/sweater combination.  It’s bordering on uncomfortable, but it will have to do.  There’s no doubt being a larger person can’t lead to those kinds of feelings.  It is better dressed then how we dressed – in sweats over the holidays *sigh*.

That’s enough of that. 

Rich is watching an old sci-fi type show in the background.  Somehow people are getting chased and are either running or hiding.  That’s all I’ve really picked-up.  He said as soon as it ends, he will shovel some snow and then come in and get dressed a little more.  He’s in a picture t-shirt, so we’re thinking at the moment we’re better dressed then him J 

We’re thinking that Bob and Linda don’t serve bottled water.  Maybe I should put some in the backpack.  We’ll carry the chromebook and phone too for the hotspot.  Rich thinks we should take a nap now, but we’re not for that idea.  Not that we aren’t tired, just that we’d rather write.  I’d like to finally post before we go.  Then I can review in the car.  That’s better than doing too much reading.  If we sleep at all it will be before midnight ON THEIR COUCH, OR on the ride home.  It’s just that the conversation between Rich and Bob is always fishing and when Linda is added it is about school days – they all went to the same high school.  I don’t know anyone and can do a couple hours of it, but by then I get a little tired – plus we’ll be sipping on wine.  I feel like the “Kid” there.  I think Linda is actually the oldest by a year, and then Bob and Rich, and then me 8 years later.  Sometimes a decade makes a difference.  I do like Linda though and we look forward to trying to swing the conversation to “relationships.”  That’s Bob’s nemesis.  BLAH!  I will always be more interested in her family and self and how they are all doing then in hearing about one particular lake or another.

I don’t hear an ending to Rich’s movie.  I can hear the snow plows out on our little road and am thinking we’re going to be snowed in.  We’ve got 40 minutes for him to finish the movie, shovel, and get dressed.  Don’t see it happening.  I think we have a few things to put together.  Now …

4 bottles of water

Oh yes ... almost forgot to mention it, but Rich and Us DID have our big money meeting.  He works on a yearly budget, and had ours completed for discussion.  I'm not so sure I like the turn of events in that we ended up with $1,350 of our $1,450 going out to expenses.  It didn't include gas, but did include our car ... I'm not sure where the difference is.  I see only $100 left over and Rich says we have $150 left over ... So that means I get $150 to spend for the month - though I think that includes periodic gas and $58 a month on parking for Dr. Marvin's AND it doesn't include medical which we HOPE is down this year because we're getting Medicare on March 1rst.  We'll have to see.  I've always been proud to cover my expenses, just doesn't seem like there is much extra.  More talk on this later.  But, for now it's time to go.  Happy NEW YEAR!


Monday, December 30, 2013

Looking for Optimistic

Saturday, December 28, 2013 @ 11:34 am

Good morning, or what’s left of it.  It’s officially been two weeks since we posted and a day longer since writing.  Not sure all of what happened to cause that, but we’re going to suggest that Christmas plans took a lot of time J

Last time we wrote … well in-between now and that, we had typed out the transcripts for two of the group’s podcasts.  The first was Jazz interviewing Jay, and the second time she was interviewing Jim.  The next time she’s supposed to interview Dr. Marvin, but this week has been a bye because of the holiday and people having time off.  I enjoyed the process of transcribing and I really enjoyed that the guys did some editing to make it all good.  We figured things out and found the foot pedal so it made it that much easier.  Yay!

I haven’t been communicating too much with the group this last week, although we’ve seen Jim out and about FB here and there.  He has a big NYE party happening at his place and he and Marcy are keeping very busy with home improvements.  They really are fantastic at what they do.  There’s no reason for being out of touch, except in general we haven’t gotten too involved with computer “business.”  We do seem to keep up with email and facebook, but haven’t gone much further than that.  REALLY Christmas took some time!

The last time we wrote, we had seen Joe and Cari, and since then, we’ve seen the Maury and Nikki and their kids a couple of times.  They were over for Christmas Eve, and then we had a blow-out on Christmas day, so Maury and his came back to help us with some of the leftovers.  Ame and Isa weren’t there, but otherwise things were fine.  On Christmas day we were supposed to have Rich’s brother, his girls, their partners, and his Grandson over.  The Girls time must have been conflicted because they were later than their Dad or we had expected.  Then Mark got upset and told us he couldn’t look at food (1 ½ hours after we were supposed to receive company) and then the girls called looking for their Dad, but Rich had to tell them he stormed off, and although it wasn’t said, the girls then backed out of dinner too.  It was a disappointment after having planned and cooked all day.  It would have been better if they had just called earlier and let us know, but that’s not what happened.  BUT, we can move on from there.  We talked to Mark again the next day and things seemed to be calmed down and he got together with his daughters and their families. 

Most of everything else over the holiday went well.  We really did enjoy working with Rich to get Christmas ready.  By that time we’d had Thanksgiving, and Joe and Cari and Maury’s and we were getting really better at running the vacuum, cleaning, cooking, cleaning and whatever.  Rich spent all his time cooking or baking and we were the helper, putting cookies on the pan, or chopping apples for pies and dressing, and cleaning dishes right after he used them so he always had enough and the place didn’t get so messy.  Neither of us were pushing the other to do stuff so it was relaxed and we enjoyed working together.

After we removed the extra plates from Christmas dinner, rich and us sat down to have a feast in front of the fire.  It was very romantic – OH … and this morning we figured out, in one week Rich and I are going to be celebrating our TWENTIETH anniversary of knowing each other.  We still have to wait for October 27th, for our twentieth KISSING anniversary.  Have to work through the year to build up to that.  In the beginning, it had just been after the holiday break, and Monday, the 3rd of January, 1994, our counselor from JVS called us on the phone to ask why we hadn’t been in and that she had exciting news to tell us – about a job.  We went in on Tuesday, the 4th, and that’s when we met Rich.  Incidentally, we bought a dishwasher on Monday the 3rd, though we were still walking laundry for me and the three boys up and down 3 flights of stairs, and then rolling it 2 blocks down the street to a laundry.  Man oh man – don’t miss those days.  Within a year – we co-purchased a house for me and the three boys WITH laundry and dishwasher, but we were still walking two blocks to the train station.  Rich never saw the old apartment, though I recall he signed a paper as representative of JVS and that I had a steady income and a good character.

We’ll stop there as to memory lane, but the thing was I met him and liked him, but had no idea he had an interest in me until the first day he asked for a kiss later that year at the end of October.  I can honestly say he’s been a preoccupation of our minds ever since.  Twenty years is a long time.  He’s stuck it out though through thick and thin!  God Bless him!

Anyway … back to this last couple of weeks?

The feast was very nice and afterward we both cleaned up and by a little prodding from me, we went directly to bed!  No not that kind … the kind that you find yourself exhausted and unable to move any further.  It was like that for three days in a row, with Maury and his family coming either side of Christmas.  We were so relieved to hear they’d come back on Thursday to help us eat some of that food, and as normal for them, they brought some extra too. 

The highlight of the first event was some fun with handing out the few presents we had, but more than anything, we had the greatest fun working on Christmas stockings with Nikki and the kids.  Adrian was there too, so that was fun as well.  He and Jade stay pretty close, so it is fun to be around them.  The stockings turned out GREAT!  We’ll leave a picture on the front of this entry.  They hung them up on our fireplace to take a picture, but then they were brought home with them naturally.  I’m pretty darn sure Santa filled them.  They’ve all been very good this year.  Well we’re still not pleased with all the teasing Maury does, but not much to be said for that … he’s a husband now and in other relationships where he has to learn new rules … It will all balance out in the end.  I hope he doesn’t lose the girls’ respect in the meantime.  Nikki says, he’s nicer at home, so we’re hoping that is true. 

Nikki did most the sewing work, and we worked through creating the design and nature of the socks and each of their family picked out one or two fabrics they wanted to work with.  We had some batting that worked out fine.  Nikki sewed on both front and back panels a 1 ½ - 2” “lip” at the top of the socks.  Then both front and back were put together backwards – and three sides sewn – except of course the top.  Then it was turned right side, and Nikki sewed on the loops for the hooks to hang.  They were very professional.  We loved that each of them – 7 total were able to find something in our fabric they liked and they had brought flannel for the girls so that worked out too.  The flannel was for the lip.

The next time they came, there was more talking than anything.  Jade is a mastermind in keeping conversations flowing in a particular direction Hehehe.  They’ve got some really special girls. 

The bad part of the evening was just as they were leaving, Jasmine wanted to go in the master bath where we have the big mirrors to take a couple selfies.  The room was dark and the doors shut because of the cats and all, so we rushed in to turn on the main light for her in the middle of the room, and we stubbed our left toes against the blue hassock in front of our bed – where Missy gets up on the bed.  Oh man oh man did it hurt.  Everyone was at the door and everyone had their hugs, so we kinda collapsed on the couch.  Rich said we told people we were there for the night and to have a safe drive home, or something close to that.  YEEKS.  So much for manners.  Just it had taken us down.  It had been 4-5 days of cleaning and arranging and being busy with people and it had just exhausted us.  I’m embarrassed about our physical condition, but at that point was just grateful for Rich.  After everyone left, he brought over the ice and put a pillow under my aching legs.  He brought us a couple extra pain pills and we cried for a bit. 

We’d worked so hard to stay “stable” while people were here, but it had gotten pretty overwhelming.  I’m soooooo glad that the events happened and we’ll be charmed with our memories for a long time to come, but … sometimes people get tired and the best thing to do is rest.  Pretty much that’s what’s happened the last couple of days.

Ahh.  We’re back.  Talk about rest … we went and laid down for an hour and a half nap in the bedroom with the kitties.  That’s serious napping.  And, then we got up and looked at emails and facebook again.  Somehow what just happened with the holidays is being etched somewhere in my mind.  We’ve enjoyed immensely all the pictures of people being together and seeing family.  It doesn’t seem to matter whose family … any happy family is just that a Happy family and a joy to look at.  I guess it’s a little bit of a voyeur in me.

It is about 3 pm now and Rich has just finished working in the back.  He could have worked in the sunroom it seems to be such a nice day out there.  Ahh just looked … that’s odd.  It is 48 degrees out there.  Where did that kind of temperature come from?  By Monday it will be back down to 7 degrees, but it’s nice while its here.

Not really being a very dynamic writer yet.  I think we were talking about the holidays and I know there was a lot more to happen over the last two weeks.  Don’t seem to have much of an anchor.  I guess since it is the holidays, we could re-start by saying what a wonderful week we’ve had with Rich home and coming up to this last week.  I really enjoyed working with him to have people over.  That’s been a big highlight.  We also had a VERY Christmas morning which was our special time together. 

I don’t remember much of the day before … I think we were very tired and there was no fighting about getting us in bed.  There was all kinds of Christmas magic happening.  And, I think we woke up at 1 pm, AND we found that Santa Clause had been here.  We thought we better not wake Rich up, AND we remembered that we hadn’t wrapped his gift.  We got him AND my mother kindles.  I felt very bad though in that while I had one really nice gift, he had given me about 8-10 gifts.  It just didn’t seem fair.  I had to really push to get him to release as much money as I did from the checking account.  Usually, he only puts in there what we really need – it’s like a petty cash account for a couple hundred regular dollars.  Every $15 or $25 or whatever I take out of the account he questions.  We had figured out the kids gifts because my mother had given us enough to cover gifts this year.  We paid for our kids and grandchildren and their partners and just a few extra.  Then the rest went to Rich and my mother.  I felt good that I was able to do what we did.  It’s hard being on a fixed income.

I know that Rich is happy with his gift and I’m hoping my mother will be too.  We had it shipped here and it got here on Monday night.  We wanted to get it started, and we wanted to get some books loaded on there for her.  I’m thinking of it as Rich, my mother and myself are all in a book club.  I didn’t think my mother would put her credit card online, and we do all the time, so we are just using our account for her, AND the books we put on for her were a lot of history and romance … I think that’s her favorite, but they were all free.  She’s used to getting her books from some kind of trading place – so she never picks out books she wants, just takes what she gets.  I thought we could bring her up to the 21st century by starting her out with some free stuff.  We’ll talk more to her when she gets it.  It went out yesterday morning, so we’ll give her a call Monday or Tuesday.  We talked to her on Christmas day to let her know they were coming late.  They originally weren’t going to be here until the 31rst, so we were happy they got here when they did.  I’m a little unsure if she has wi-fi, but she has a laptop and a home computer – though very old … maybe windows 98.  One thing at a time - if we can get her to look at it that will be half the battle … she just got a cell phone … one of the terrible kind, but she’s made then some improvements.  She’s 73 years old and reads a lot, so we’re hoping it works out.  I’m thinking her friend Jane or her minister friend Peg have kids and know how to use those kinds of things.  We’ll see.

Rich’s gifts were in part practical, but this year there was some fun in them too.  He got me primarily the curtain fabric.  Later though he said after we complained of having so many gifts to his one that the fabric gift was like for both of us because we share the bedroom.  I know what he means, but all total it seemed like a lot of money.  The fabric turned out to be 18 yards for $300.25.  it was a good price for the fabric at $10.50 a yard, but still a big piece of money.  The first gifts he had me open were the stockings … there we got sugar-free candy and some marshmallows and a package of cookies.  He couldn’t have gone wrong there!  Then he gave us three separate night gowns that were similar to each other but different.  They are like cotton “granny” nightgowns and are very pretty with just a bit of lace or crochet at the tops.  He’s saying that I’m supposed to throw out anything that is paper thin or with holes which isn’t something I like to do because we get so used to what we have.  He does know that if I’m not expecting to go out … I LOVE to wear pjs all day.  I know a funny eccentricity, but that’s the way we are most comfortable.

The next gift we got – well actually from both Rich and Nikki and Maury and the girls, but we got a half dozen towel sets that all miraculously coordinate in creams or browns.  I LOVED IT!  I guess Rich knew how shreddy my towels had become – had once got a dozen and they all seemed to go downhill at the same time.  AND, thank you thank you Nikki!  Apparently, sometimes my blog entries are read!  *giggling*  She definitely figured out what we needed … There was such a happy surprise to get what was needed.

The other part of Rich’s gift – well there was two things.  The one was that he got us a necklace … not the expensive type, but the nice type.  It had an “infinity” symbol.  I think he was working at our desire to have more of a commitment.  I know that buying a house together is a pretty strong commitment as is his promise to stay my partner forever, but it’s awkward in our mind not to ever plan on being married.  I think that’s something most girls just hope for.  As stated earlier, we are one week away from our 20 years anniversary.  We’ve only lived together the last 6-7 years, but it’s a long time of wanting to be married and not getting it.  I try to look at it as financially, I’m still a liability.  It would make things better to at least finalize our financial future.  This year was a big deal though with the house.  This way at least we both have a place if something happened to the other.  After that if something happened to the both of us, the intent is to sell everything and split it evenly between the six kids.  There is not much there, but it is better than nothing.  BUT, now we’re going into a little bit of morose.  Don’t mean to do that either. 

The other gift that he gave was a series of things that went with my little houses.  He got from the same person, but one of the Winter collections which is fine.  The pieces are still the same scale as what we had.  There was a newspaper building, a newspaper truck and newsperson, then there was a fountain, and then there was an ice skating rink.  I thought whoa!  WAY too much gifts, but then he said that he’d shopped at Kohl’s and the pieces were 50% off, and then he said he got a Kohl’s card and got another 30% off. Pshwoo!!!!!  Then I didn’t feel so bad, and it IS a very nice gift.  After we moved, we didn’t have anything to put in the glass cabinets under the TV, but now we do.  He said I don’t have to put them away and just look at them in the winter, and that made me feel REALLY good.  I think two of the buildings have lights, and the cabinet in general should have lights, but we’ll have to do something creative.  I know we have a COUPLE of light strings left over that didn’t go on the Christmas tree and I think I can do something with that.  I’m thinking of lining the inside “box” part of the interior cabinets.  Rich doesn’t really want Christmas lights, but it will be our job to make it pretty enough he won’t mind.  Yay!!!!

Sunday, December 29, 2013 @ 11:34 am

Wow!  Just checked that’s the exact same time I signed on yesterday J  Cool – cool.  Maybe today I can be more productive.  Just made it to page six yesterday, and even at that it is not the quantity, but the quality.  Just seems I’m not adapted yet to sitting at the keyboard and typing.  I’m also though not interested for the moment of typing from my chrome book, because of losing stuff the last few times. It’s happening too when we attempt to manipulate the big computer documents … so just trying to be regular careful today and just type.  I don’t know how we lost contact with our typing from yesterday … maybe I should look over a couple of paragraphs.

Hmm, don’t want to go over it really carefully.  Would rather move on.  I think we talked out Christmas presents – I got that part.  I think somewhere around 3 pm, Rich signed off from his workroom work, but he’s there again today.  I am thinking he’s thinking that this is now day three and I should start working around the house again, but that’s really not what we’re thinking.  However, yes … I seem to realize we may be pretty close to out on the silverware.  *sigh*  Some of that is that there is a dishwasher full of clean stuff that hasn’t been put away yet.  No … no that’s not happening right now either.  We just got back to the typing we want to make a go of it. 

Hmm, probably should have used the washroom first, brb

Ok, back … found some loose cranberries too.  Good deal … Rich just got a call from Bud … they are having trouble with the medicine.  She lost her nursing aid and some of the therapists this week because she was showing them no progress.  Bud, seems to have lost a concept of how the pill box works even if someone is filling for them.  Like he’s not understanding that Rich isn’t filling up Saturday on Sunday because its empty … rather than Rich has all the way till the following week to fill it.  Who knows what other problems.  Rich is still having problems with his mother.  She thinks Rich is controlling her and made a decision to keep the night aid (instead of regular aids – at night), and since this is the aid that is getting Rich’s mother alcohol – AND, did so before she broke her neck, Rich is refusing to do all but the minimum. 

On the other side, Bud’s family and he think Bud’s doing more for his wife now that he’s back and they want to let go of most the caregivers all together, because of expense.  That’s a valid point, but so is the fact that just alone Rich’s mother and Bud get very argumentative and when Bud doesn’t feel like taking care of her or talking to her, he just disappears outside, and then his mother is left with no care and all the anger that goes with it.  I also think he’s pushy and we’d stretch that term to abusive, but she is verbally abusive back – so that might mute out points.  Just know he behaves better when there is someone else doing the work for her, since she’s not making the moves to take care of herself better.

BLAH!  On all that.  My job is to stay out of it, because it’s obviously not our mother.  Soooo, what would I know.

Ok, well something like that.  Makes us feel grouchy where I don’t really need to go there … It’s not enough our business.  We talk to Rich and try to put some sanity back in, but that’s about as far as we go.  Just as often we are not helpful, just in that we disagree with Rich. BUT, we’re no expert at handling “old people.”  Ok, girls let it go.

This morning I think we slept in and then fell back to sleep on the chair after we got up, so we weren’t officially up WITH medicine until about 8:30 am.  Then we got up and did a lot of poking around on the computer, and we had some time to talk to Linda.  I don’t think we really did much other in the line of corresponding.  My FB and emails are clear – and we read pretty far down with the FB home page.  It seems a little sadder today in that people who were visiting others for Christmas seem to be going or have gone home by now.  It’s also the last day of the week – for those of us who think the week begins on Monday.  Tuesday, will be New Year’s Eve, so we’re thinking that maybe a lot of people still have off Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday.  I think we are back to Dr. Marvin’s on Tuesday, so that officially ends our “holiday.” 

By this time of the year we are bending our ear toward how to improve the next year.  I know same as millions of people.  This brings me to mind of our mind map – guess that is as good a place to start as any.  Hmm, maybe we should first make a quick sweep to finish off the year … Here are some key points

Had visitors and visited people – GREAT time
Took pretty good care of our home, AND Rich and I did some minimal decorating
Rich is still working on his @home projects

There is officially $208.79 left in my checking account – cash account, but there is $200 of checks written out not cashed.  Should probably bring that to Rich’s attention.  There is $782.54 left in my regular checking account AND it seems the rent and car insurance has been paid AND we will be getting another big check in  five days.  So all that’s good.  Should take a couple hundred though and put it back in our cash account.  And, it looks like in the savings account there is $1600.  $500 was a balance after Rich took out money for his taxes, and then $1,100 was put back in from insurance to fix small things on the roof.  That means I’m worth almost $2600 WOOHOO!!!!  Still need to transfer $200 from our checking to our cash account.  Just don’t want to bounce anything, hmm?

So, that is where we start off the New Year.  One thing we noticed is that we paid $130 on gas and in the old days Rich used to cover our gas.  Guess that’s not happening.  We had some extra expenses – the Christmas ones were budgeted from my mother’s Christmas gift.  Extras might have then been the angels, Herbalife, the $15 necklace and the shears for the bedroom.  I’m a bit worried and will have to ask Rich because I don’t see the normal things like electric, cable, furniture payment, etc.  We’ll go over it in a day or two … Just have to have both of us functional and not under deadlines at the same time.   I think the gas was high because it was back when Thom was here and extra trips were being taken.  Not sure right now if there is gas in the car, it has been a while since we’ve driven.  Certainly not this week and prior to that Rich drove the last couple of times to Dr. Marvin’s.

Ok, so then, back to our updates … Christmas is over and we’ve got New Years on the horizon.  I think that we have to be at Bob and Linda’s by about 7 pm on New Year’s Eve.   We’ll have to plan to get something before that, but we will try and push Rich again if there is nothing in his vehicle to get the dishwasher to Joe and Cari.  I think they are going to be out the following weekend, so I’d like to have it taken care of.  For them it would be a nice thing to start their year.

Not much to say about Dr. Marvin’s this far down the line.  I’m not sure what we were talking about – though on Tuesday we might have discussed his written part for the group.  I think at that point he had to make another fix-it change to the last paragraph, and we’d gone over some of the group’s questions and had discussed that he’d sift to the bottom of it and write formal questions they could ask to get to the responses he is going to give.  Obviously, there will be room for the group to add their literal questions, but this thing had to progress, and they hadn’t been able to consolidate their own questions.  Dr. Marvin said he’d be able to finish it over the break.  He had had students to interview at our regular Thursday appointment, so we met Wednesday.  The only part of that we’re remembering is that someone shook his hand.  Our once in a year thing … and it was expected AND turned out to be too tight so we told him to be softer or he’d break our fingers. 

Otherwise I don’t know what happened that week.  I don’t know if we were regular or regressed regular, just don’t know.

One thing that we’ve been watching is that Jim is on FB and periodically, we’ve been talking back and forth with him and keeping up on his profile page.  We knew he and Marcy are planning a New Year’s Eve party for about 30 people, but that’s about it.  Ohhh, and we were talking and listening a little back and forth with music.  We’d created a playlist of some of the musicians he listens too, and most importantly we discovered we liked Rhonda’s taste with Sarah McLachlan.  We’ve been listening to her a lot.  There … we just put her on again.  We’ve heard some of her music before, but had not connected the dots. 

We’re talking to Linda more and we agreed to meet her and the girls in WI on Saturday the 11th.  Linda said she talked to one of the twins on the phone, but I hadn’t heard from anyone by email.  I don’t know if they are reading their emails, or just not responding.  I sent another note just now saying that I hadn’t heard from anyone but Linda, but had rented a room at LaQuinta.  I went through Hotwire like I had before.  The room was $55, but with tax it came to $69.20.  I hope it turns out alright.

Moving on. 

Anything else?  Hmm, might want to just move on as to the past … One thing though, we did order the fabric for our Christmas gift from Rich, and it came in yesterday.  That was very nice.  It’s a bit intimidating right now.  I checked it vaguely for colors against the flowers and it seems to work.  I’m thinking it will be fine.  Just have to get a grip on it.  I think basically the two long curtains – 3 panels are all 84” or 7’.  That matches up to the sheers, and the short double curtains are 54” or 4.5’.  That will be measured again by that, but pretty sure that is the only sewing project I would be bringing … Hmm, have to test the shower curtains too … those will be double and maybe 72” or 6’.  We’ll see.  It be a great deal to have the cushion by then too, but we might be pushing it.  Rich didn’t want me ordering it because he thought he could get a better price, but haven’t seen much effort or attention going to that project.

Might be hard to drive to WI.  Hmm.  I know I keep talking about it rather than doing it, but I hope to have Cari’s quilt finished by then too, if not will bring it with if I want to stay until Noon Sunday and work on it.  Hard to tell what I’m going to feel like by then.  We’ll see.

Just saw Rich walk by so I reminded him to check because his card expires in two days.  Little thing, but important none-the-less.

Hmm, already past medicine … have to do a few things like medicine again, brb

Back.  Had an encounter with Rich … while I was sneaking a simple sweet hug …. He was like done here, going to check on my mother’s medicines, and you should clean-up the kitchen and living room.  DRAT!  I hate that when it happens!  Yes, yes … got my medicine too, but we were saying whatever you want NO, NO.  Dear … whimpering.  I’m still on vacation!  HMPF!



Friday, December 20, 2013

Reprint - Plural Activism Awareness Group - Jim Bunkelman 11-22-13

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Jim Bunkelman, Producer, Interviewee
Oure Gaiya^Jazz, Interviewer
Aynetal3^Corey, Transcriber

Jazz:       Hi and welcome to Multiplicity 101.  This is the official podcast of the Plural Activism Awareness Group.  My name is Jazz, a proud member of Oure Gaiya, and I will be your host for today.  This podcast’s focus is on Multiplicity, but with a twist – from the viewpoint of what many Multiples refer to as a Singlet or non-Multiple.  Our definition of being Multiple is:  Many minds that share one body.  As always, if you have a specific question or comments you would like to address feel free and send them to us at our Podcast site,  That’s “aspen,” as in the tree, “patch” as in mending dot com.  “Aspenpatch” is all one word.

Our guest for today’s broadcast is Jim Bunkelman, who is also our producer.  Jim is a free-lance audio and video producer.  Jim, could we begin this by you telling us a little about yourself?  We really want people to see you’re honest to goodness, real-life breathing person.

Jim:        Ok, well I don’t really like to talk about myself much, but I do want the listener to know that I’m just a regular person.  I was born and raised in a small town in central California, and I have wonderful parents who are still living in the house that they built themselves when I was born.  I have a brother and a sister, and I had a great childhood with lots of friends.  I played football, ran track in high school, and was student body president.  My family went camping a lot especially at the beach by Santa Barbara.  I started surfing when I was a teenager and still surf today. 

I have a degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara in physics and math.  And, I went to graduate school at UC – Berkley and I got my teaching degree in science and math.  I taught Junior High School for four years in Ventura, and while I was there, I started making educational films and selling them to school districts while I was teaching.  I then moved to Hollywood – started working in film and photography.  I worked on TV commercials and now produce motion graphics and shoot and edit video.  I have my own company, so that when I am not on a job, I have time to work on projects around my house.  I live in Hollywood about two blocks from Hollywood Bowl in a fun house that I’m constantly working on.

Jazz:       Oh goodness, that sounds like fun.  Math, oh I can’t even tell you [muffled laughter] if you’re a math -- Jim, if you were to say three things that you would like to convey to our listeners, what would it be?

Jim:        Oh first of all, it’s real.  That’s – that’s just how I really feel.

Jazz:       Yes.

Jim:        And, second of all – it’s not a disorder.

Jazz:       Correct.

Jim:        And, third, I had the richest, most wonderful experience being married to a Multiple. 

Jazz:       Oh.  Typically people become very involved in the movement when they have a personal experience with what the movement is all about.  Are you a Multiple Jim? 

Jim:        No, I’m not a Multiple, but I do believe that everyone has a potential to be a Multiple. And, I myself have a large number of interests.  I love many types of music.  I like to do a lot of things like rebuild car engines and sewn clothes, and I’ve built additions onto my house, and I’ve created works of art.  We all have within us different ways of seeing and appreciating the world around us.  The human brain is truly an amazing thing.

Jazz:       Oh, indeed it is.  Who was a Multiple in your life then?

Jim:        My wife of fifteen years was a Multiple.  She just died last year from a stroke.  Shortly after we fell in love, I found out that she was a Multiple.  It didn’t seem strange to me at all.  I loved her and I came to love all her insiders as we called everybody in her group.  Rhonda’s Multiplicity made my experiences with her so much richer.  I mean, I had kids, I had friends, I had partners, I had lovers, I had companions -- we really had such an amazing life.  Yeah, it was. 

I have become involved in this movement because I had such a great life with her and her insiders.  I see that most people are unfamiliar with Multiplicity, and there is prejudice against them by both the public and the medical profession.  A lot of people – a lot of times people are just prejudiced against things they are not familiar with. 

Jazz:       Right.

Jim:        I just want to educate people about what my experience has been.  There is no reason that a Multiple cannot have a wonderful, happy life like my wife did.  We did all kinds of things together.  We went to a lot of concerts and we saw everyone from Sarah McLachlan, Van Morrison, Massive Attack, Crystal Method, Depeche Mode, Bob Segar and on, and we saw so many concerts.  Every year we went to the Burning Man Art Festival.  We created art together, we collected all kinds of things -- we collected all kinds of things.  We worked on our garden, we worked on decorating our house, we talked, we laughed a lot together -- we had an amazing outside group of great friends together.  I just -- I really got so much love back.

Jazz:       Oh, that’s wonderful.  I’d like to ask, how do you now Multiplicity is real -- because your wife was?

Jim:        You know I don’t know how anyone can say that Multiplicity is not real.  I mean first of all, just because a person has not had any experiences with it, doesn’t mean that it does not exist.  The human mind is an amazing organ. 

Jazz:       Mmhmm.

Jim:        It’s capable of so many things.  I spent fifteen years with Rhonda.  We were best friends and we spent most of our time together.  I can unequivocally say, that there were Multiple people sharing one body.  It’s as real as anything I’ve ever experienced.  You know, like my training is as a scientist and I’m very logical, and I believe insightful, and there is no way that Rhonda is acting or pretending.  I mean, I would – I could recognize who was out without them saying or doing anything.  I mean body language, speech patterns, voice, facial expressions, and many other indications.  They were unique to each individual and they didn’t vary. 

There [muffled laughter.] were even a few occasions where one insider would pretend to be another one because she thought she could get me to say yes to something better than the other one.  [laughter.]  I could tell who it was, and I could tell if they were pretending to be someone else.  That always surprised them when I recognized who it was.  You know I have many greeting cards from different members of my Rhonda family, and the signatures are all different, and they are all consistent.  You know Multiplicity is as real as anything I know. 

Jazz:       Ok, I asked what you and Rhonda did together, what about others in her system?  Did you have a relationship with any of them?  What’s it like living with a Multiple? 

Jim:        Oh, I had great relationships with all of Rhonda’s insiders.  You know each person is an individual, and I treated and experienced them that way.  I can almost always tell who was out just by looking at them or hearing them.  I had so much fun with all of them.  I had a lot of special interests that were unique with each one of them.  For example, Sarah was this beautiful little girl who loved having her hair brushed.  And, Nicholas and I shared this love of cars together.  I called him “Car Guy.” [muffled laughter.] And, when I first met Abigail, she hid in closets and stuttered so badly she couldn’t communicate, but she learned how to speak so we could talk with each other.  And, then there was Jimmy, and I occasionally called him, “Chip” because he was the chip off the old block.  My name is Jim and he was Jimmy junior.

Jazz:       Ohh [smile.]

Jim:        He was [muffled laugher.] funny and outgoing.  He was always one of the first to talk to people.  Ruby was the badass protector of the group.  Most of the kids were really afraid of her.  But, she had a heart of gold and loved the kids she protected so much.  And, Natalie was this little girl who always believed that somehow everything would work out ok.  And, we decided that her middle name was Hope.  Her favorite expression was “Keep Hope alive!”  Melissa and I would try to surprise each other every night by being the first one to say, “Plah!” to the other one just before bedtime.  [laughter.]  It kind of started, because I would – when I spit out my tooth paste, I would say, “Plah!” So, she would come and surprise me [laughter.] It was so much fun.  I could go on and on, but that’s just scratching the surface of all the beautiful relationships I had with each member of my family of Rhonda.

We worked through a lot of emotional or relationship problems, but that’s just like any other couple. 

Jazz:       Oh, right.

Jim:        The important thing is that none of the things we worked through had anything necessarily to do with Rhonda being Multiple.  It had to do with the emotional difficulties of each individual and the things that they had gone through.  Multiplicity per se was not the problem.  The way people deal with it is really the problem.

Jazz:       Bingo.  In closing Jim, what would you like our listeners to really, really hear you say?

Jim:        Well, I think it is that last thing on -- Multiplicity is not a disorder.  There is nothing inherently wrong with being Multiple.  Some people and even medical professionals will say if you are Multiple, you have a mental illness or disorder.  You know, it’s true that Multiples often have emotional problems and it’s true that Singlets often have emotional problems.  I - I’ve really found that a lot of the emotional problems are very similar in both Multiples and Singlets.  The problem is not, per se with being Multiple.  And, I want to make this really clear.  There is no inherent problem with being Multiple.  The problem comes up when there is a lack of communication among the individuals, or when a member of the group is going through emotional problems.  The emotional problem is with the individual within that Multiple group.

Jazz:       Yes.

Jim:        If that individual in the Multiple group or a Singlet – the problem would still be there. 

Jazz:       Mmhmm.

Jim:        Therapy for the individual in the group is a solution.  That is what any individual needs whether a Singlet or part of a Multiple Group.

Jazz:       Indeed.  Well thanks again for joining us Jim. 

And, thank you our listeners for tuning in.  If you would like more information, you can go to the blogcast site given at the beginning of the broadcast.  You could also join us on our online activist group at Plural_Activism on

Thank you so much.
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