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Thursday, January 10, 2013

Dear Dear Linda ... what would we do without you?



Dear Linda,
Back! We finished. We were folding clothes when you wrote your last note, and by now have the garbage out and the floors swept and vacuumed. It be a GOOD Ann day! It looks like if you are sewing, cleaning AND visiting - you are having a pretty good day too. I had called my mother yesterday and hadn't gotten a hold of her, but she called back a little bit ago.
We then though took it into our thoughts on Rich's mom and learning right away to set down boundaries. I foresee my first REAL conversation after all the dust has cleared to be pretty much this. (To his mother) ... you want what you want when you want it ...and if you don't get it ... you do the following. You over-drink and become dangerous to yourself, you scream and shout, you go to your bedroom and refuse to come out, you refuse food and liquids, and then you don't take your medicine. On occasion you have also tried to leave the house by yourself which is obviously dangerous. SO ... I think that is the majority of what you do to get what you want ... and although I will be sensitive toward when you are doing all that - I'm not going to buy into it. I know you are also very sweet and can be that way by just thinking conscientiously of that. I'd like to also be sweet, so we have to make some rules. If you do this, I will do that, if you do this, I will do that. I will not do something because you threaten one of the above protests. You can always talk to me. I know you will play each of these scenarios out ... so it will be up to me to make firm boundaries between us. I will always prefer working and being with you when you’re in control of your behaviors. I will try to make things as safe as possible when you are behaving in a manipulative manner. So, that being said ... do you have any questions, comments, or concerns?
At least we keep working out scenarios like this ... so that I can deal with myself living with an alcoholic. I've done it before. I don't get drunk, I don't like it when others get drunk and one of the first rules is ... that I won't go out and get liquor for you and I won't pour a drink for you. You'll be on your own as to working with others to take care of your shopping needs, and I believe you can pour your own drink and as long as you are sober enough to get to the alcohol then it will be your business. Everyone sets life's priorities and if that is your biggest goal. I will leave it up to you to accomplish. I do hope that Rich limits the bottle - I.e. you and he agree how much you should be drinking and then that amount only is set-out.
Ok, we will let it go again. Now, we need to pull back my thoughts and feelings. I guess I am feeling stress knowing what might be coming up. No we haven't heard anything on the real estate today. Its ok, we didn't expect to hear about it in a hurry ... I think they have until 6 pm on Tuesday to decide ... that should be about 5 business days ... and everything seems to work like that. My mother asked about sending the check and if I wouldn't want it yet. We told her that we have to be accountable for producing proof of capital after a contract was signed, so at that time we would ask for the money or an accounting of it. We told her if it happened that we didn't get the house or a house that we wouldn't be asking her for the money. That seems our safest way of knowing it will always be there if we need it and in the meantime we won't waste it or take advantage of the situation. I feel that is being as Good Ann as we get.  My mother talked about trusting Rich with the money and the housing and in helping to take care of me. I think it was too impressed how much Rich is responsible RATHER than me, but I've given some room for that argument over the years.
Then there was a little conversation with my mother concerning her concerns and then we turned it to be check/balancing the way Rich and I work together.  You know that we've put off Rich at times because we like best to just stay at home, but as soon as you become conscious of that kind of stuff ... you gotta start paying up. We can do it, right?! EVEN if I have to tell the world EVERY time I go and wash a load of clothes. Hehehe. I know girl ... Suck it up!
Hmm, ok we're going to try this other thing ... a little more with some controls. It's now 3:30 PM and we're back to wanting coffee again. Our place is all in order and we're thinking it be a nice refreshing way to spend the next couple hours. We're going to go back to our writing and Rich isn't home ... so what we did was we made ourselves a HALF pot of coffee. We're going to have to put some breaks on that too ... Like after 6:30 PM ... there will be no coffee. It's worth a try at least. We'll see how much we can handle if at all. It's part of Ann being the good Ann! 
So with that I think we'll get back to business. Sorry that we are missing you today. We do want to slide in a "Good Linda!" for doing the kitchen floor! That's a little on the tougher side until you are 100%. AHA! And, coffee is ready ... by now I've imagined you've done it too. This is maybe part of our "let's be like Linda Plan!"
Take care girl!
Us

Dear Linda,

Hi hi ... it's me. We've just RE-woken up ... think we were up earlier and fed the cats and talked to Rich, but by the time we're talking to him we've also got a nice warm cozy kitty on our chest and we're petting him and then we get a little drowsy because Rich sometimes leaves spaces between talking to me and doing his computer/work. I know I know ... we're like a bum, BUT it is sort of like what SOMETIMES happens.
It's by the way about 9:45 AM right now. I think Rich has to go pretty soon in about 45 minutes, and then he's supposed to be back by 2 PM and then we leave for Dr. Marvin's at 3:30 PM and then he leaves at 4 PM for a game, and then we're home by about 6:15 PM and he's home by about 7:30 PM. Soooo, that's about our schedule for the day.
We're still waiting on the proposal for the house. It is hopeful that they are really considering the offer to be taking so long in getting back, but we have to be reasonable too in that they might be waiting on another offer and so they could decide the better of them. It's a very risky deal because we are playing with something we REALLY want. I think you know that by now. Rich talked to his brother this morning while we were sleeping in and they are coming up with contingencies, but I think it is going to happen that if Rich needs to borrow from his brother that he will go for it. We'd hope not to strain the family relationships like that, but Rich and his brother are very upfront about that sort of thing. ALSO, it would be worked out so there was an insurance policy so that if something happened to Rich, that there would be money - insurance that I could pay off his brother. That's a very big deal. I think it would work the same for me so that if something happened to me and Rich didn't have that extra "some money" that his brother would be paid off. Basically, Rich would do everything possible to make sure that his family all around was covered. He's just that kind of guy. Hoping like anything that nothing else comes in between our attempt to purchase the property and someone else coming in with a better deal. It's a very stressful situation, but we're still hoping for the best. There is so much that makes this a perfect place.
Ok, I know it's consuming our mind and we should probably be moving on to something else. It's just a very big major that's happening.
Not sure what else is really going on. We're thinking that you are going to be busy today with the Purple Heart people. I'm not sure if you've got more stuff to be pulling together with that, or if you are all set. It seems to have come up pretty fast so that you might be hustling to get everything that you want to move. I'm thinking it’s going to be quite a bit of physical and we're not sure that you are quite feeling 100% ... I haven't heard that yet, so thinking you will still get tired quickly. SOOOO girl! Take it easy today, then ok?
Not sure what else is going on. I know that we're going to have to run a load of clothes to the washer. Rich seems to have stripped the bed so there's no going back. We'll wait until he goes because it’s such a hassle getting past him when he's working in the kitchen. I need to settle into my own groove. It is a little particular, but we rarely do the cleaning and other household chores when he's here, we like to move at our own pace. It's one way to look at things. Part of that is that we like to surprise him with getting things done like a magic brownie  I know I know ... a little silly, but it goes back to Brownies in the second grade where little mischief makers surprise their parents with doing stuff without being told as to giving surprises. Its funny haven't thought of it in a long while, but it really is true that we like surprising him with things we get done. There's still a part of us that like to surprise him with the "good Ann." I know silly, but it works 
I'm wondering now, but there's still a chance that somewhere in our books that we have kept our Girl Scout books. We'll have to look for them when we move Hehehe. Pretty sure in one of our storage boxes that we still have our sash with badges. Something’s you just don't part with 
Ok, that's enough silly stuff for the morning. It was a nice memory of thoughts, though right?
Ok, girls ... Rich would say ... "bring it up a level!" Guess we should be moving then on past it.
There is one more thought there though and that was just now in thinking of one of the Girl Scout things we did with doing volunteer work at the nursing home. It seems kind of funny, but it's those same kinds of feelings in taking care of Rich's Mom - We just have to be the bigger person ... and more conscientious of the problems so that we don't get overwhelmed or take things personally when she's upset. Maybe today in our blog we'll write a little bit more on how we will cope with what might happen. It's a good thing, and something that we're already going with to Dr. Marvin. I'm glad that we get another appointment today ... It be really good if we heard something back on the place before we left and that it would be positive. I'm hoping that they don't close us down if the first offer isn't accepted or if they're comparing it to another - before we'd get to come back with the second offer of cash (through working it out with Rich's brother Mark). I'm not sure I know how to pray, but if these thoughts lead in that direction ... it is surely where we are at. Just have to keep thinking positive. That they are taking time thinking about it without saying an automatic no is good just that they might be holding it in consideration of another offer and that would be bad
I hate to keep going through this with you. You are probably tired of it - Just obviously it's something going on in our minds. Probably should turn these thoughts over now to moving through the next blog entry ... Thinking Rich is going pretty soon, but for now he's still making business calls. We can do this right?
So, now it's your turn. How the hell are you doing this morning? Are you all good? Is it a busy morning because of getting ready for the pick-up truck? Prying minds want to know Hehehe. LOVE YOU GIRL!
US

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