Friday, January 11, 2013 @ 10:31 AM
I know that you’ve seen this picture before, but it is our staple and first picture with Thom the day he graduated from boot camp. We posted this picture and this message in our FB today …
“Just as an aside - Thom called yesterday. His last day of work for the Marines will be on Tuesday and he will be coming home the next day. He will stay with his father, until he gets an apartment and work with his Uncle until he decides in October whether he stays in Chicago or goes back to Japan. He has paid leave until March when he is officially and honorably discharged after FIVE LONG YEARS from the Marines. He has by now earned the rank of Sergeant. Can we just say here ... so damn proud of him - Semper Fi Marine!”
I’m so gosh darn proud of Thom and his brothers for what they’ve accomplished over this last five years. I believe the getting married parts were also included in that excellence.
I was so excited to get Thom’s call yesterday … he was as playful as ever and had just had a conversation with one of his superiors from Japan letting him know they would like him there in October if he wants to be there. A lot will depend on how trading goes for Thom with his Uncle Chris. You’ve probably heard a little of that Uncle here and there, but in general It is Thom’s Dad’s brother (4th out of 6). Maury and Thom have worked with both Uncles (the other being 2nd out of 6) and I believe even the boys’ father has worked with trading. Originally, they were down at the Chicago Board of Trade, and then I think the Board switched hands and somewhere in there everyone seemed to go their separate ways. Chris had a hard time at one point, but seems to be the Garvey that has stayed closest to the source. I worry about some of his problems, but it’s not really on me to go into all that. I will be feeling protective of my son in that I saw how hard the relationship with Chris became for my oldest son Maury. Again … let’s not go into there.
Thom said he’s not holding reservations to see him because he’s not a visitor, but he’ll be living here again so we couldn’t be more excited than that. He said he’d drop over soon, but I think his last Marine Job day is Tuesday, and then he’s planning on driving all Wednesday. It will be a long 12 hour trip minimum, but Thom will push the speed and probably make just brief stops. It’s about 725 miles. He has a car and will bring home only his clothes and computer set-up and he says that everything else will be left with Duyen. They did not or are not making it as a couple and we won’t go into the private business of them, but that they are leaving amiably and Thom will support her in her getting her US residency. I don’t think she married him for that, but I’m glad that Thom is helping her out – with that and a couple of month’s rent … Other than that … well, I don’t like it, but we’ll lose Duyen from our family. And, that makes me sad. I really liked her.
BUT, then again … it is Thom’s life not ours and we are just there for the ride. I don’t feel too bad in that Thom is initially staying at his Dad’s until he gets his own place because his Dad and his wife have a $300,000 home in Bolingbrook so we’re thinking for sure they have an extra room for Thom where we don’t. It’s just the breaks the way they fall. I’m sure his Dad will be as glad to have him as we would have. Maybe NOT as much as MOM, but we’re damn sure he loves the kid – whatever way he shows it.
I’m just so glad that Thom will be home for at least 8-9 months ooh-rah!
In other news – there is no news on the house yet. It’s been since Tuesday afternoon since things went out and it’s not quite nail-biting not to know what’s happening, but its close. It is always half a step from our minds. We haven’t heard anything at all and according to Rich and Charlie – they weren’t thinking it would happen any sooner than today, but certainly by Tuesday evening. Please-please let this happen!
We had a pretty good day yesterday in that we thought in and around the house through the writing … mostly through the thinking of inheritance. We did talk to Rich about it after we both got home last night – him from a game and me from Dr. Marvin’s. Rich thought the plan worked out in our head yesterday was too complicate.
Ok, that was serendipitous. Charlie just called and said they would work with us, but no, they didn’t want to consider financing the last $45,000. They countered with $118,000 … so that is a great sign as to hopefully working it out with Rich and his brother. Charlie couldn’t get a hold of Rich, but we could. We knew he was at his mother’s but his cell phone doesn’t usually work out there. So, it was a crackly line, but I did get him and he said that he would take care of that. How he handles the situation next or what’s happening will be up to him. I’m THINKING that he’s going to go with his brother, and the brother will work with us, but then that is just where we lay now in trying to figure out the next step. I told Charlie it’s been a hard couple of days and if it were up to me I’d say let’s not fool with this, but let’s meet their offer and get on with this. PLEASE … again! Maybe it worked a couple of paragraphs ago and it would then again work now. I think there are enough hours in Rich’s day so he can handle today what needs to be done next. We know though that we’d have to meet Charlie at his place with Rich, or Rich would have to come home and we’d scan another offer. The seller’s didn’t have any problem with the chair. And, it sounds to Charlie like there hasn’t been any other activity on the place. So we’re going to be very hopeful.
Charlie said that the sellers had a banker they worked with successfully, but neither Charlie nor we thought that was worth another delay … we know from already good bankers for more risky people that we didn’t qualify for a traditional loan – again because of debt-income ratio. Although, this last call didn’t work out in our favor … we’re still ecstatic because we’re in all showing movement through the negotiation process. AND, because there is a viable back-up. I’m glad Rich is with his mother and is able to talk directly with her though Bud is in the room so I don’t know if Rich needs to or can talk to his mother privately – and then of course he would have to catch his brother and get a final ok. If that were all to happen and things were to fall in place, then we’d be good to go and hopefully Rich doesn’t play around with it any longer. I feel more hopeful that there will be fewer snags at this moment than a half an hour ago.
Please- please … let this happen.
I know Rich doesn’t want to break my heart and we’ve tried to accept it might not happen, but we feel strongly that this is meant to be our place. I love it so dearly much! It’s been a couple of days, but I think it’s time to take another look at the pictures! Let’s see bathroom, clothes in dryer, popcorn … ok, we’re all set!
Pswhoo! Back again. I’ve looked at the pictures several times sometimes faster than others. AND, we went downstairs and brought the blanket up. That was our wash and dry for the day. We’re ALL good. I think the one thing that we add that shouldn’t be a big deal to the sellers, but I would like not only their window coverings, but ALL the area rugs and bathroom shower drape in the hall bath. I know it’s not really normal to want someone else’s less expensive floor coverings, but they are each perfect for their own room. There’s one in the front hall and one going out to the balcony, one in the laundry room, the bathrooms, the kitchen AND the family room. Most of them are the same red and greens as is in the curtains and they match my décor perfectly. I don’t want the seat cover on the toilet, but everything else matching, I want. Hopefully all that together isn’t worth more than $300, but it is perfect without having to go out and spend more to duplicate so things match. I really do appreciate this ladies sense of style. She’s like us – but the grown-up version.
We’re waiting then next to hear from Rich … its 12:14 PM. I know that he has a lot to do between is mother, brother, Realtor, then add to that work, shopping, and doing a game tonight. OH and me! He has to handle me J It’s going to be a very busy day for him. Let’s hope he stays moderated Hehehe.
Have to think now what to be thinking about to settle me down. PLEASE let this go through! Ok, we’ve said that, right? We just have to breath. Theoretically, this could be figured out today, but it might also wait for the weekend and onto Monday. BUT, we’re hoping it doesn’t take that long. We’re thinking optimal closing time would be in five weeks. I could do it … I could have this house ready to move by then. The big thing would be to get out of here so that it would give the apartment people at least a week to prepare the place for the next owners. So if we closed on February 15th – aha! Valentine’s Day though would be memorable! That’s an idea. Basically though we’d have movers during early the next week – like Monday, shouldn’t be so bad. They are more tied up on Weekends and at the beginning and end of the month. Yes, I’m going for February 14th and that we have the movers do their thing on either Monday February 18th or Tuesday, February 19th – with an emergency date of Wednesday, February 20th. That gives the building 8 days to fix the place up … we’ll of course pay through the end of the month, but we’ll ask for our deposit back. I don’t think we could be held for wear and tear more than just living here for twelve years, but we are still breaking a contract. That should push us to be as nice as possible to get out of here on time without being a bother to them, yes? WooHOO!!!
Man o man you would think we had this all written out and that we were already good with the contract. I’m just thinking that Rich is going to make it happen for us. We’ll of course have to talk to him about the dates, and the seller’s would really have to move to get their things out, but that is what we’d like to have done. Yes? Ok, we’ve been here already.
I think we’ve got to concentrate, so we’re going back to the pictures of the house and see where we’ve left off … maybe just a quick updated summary of what’s been written and then a go ahead from there. That should keep me busy for the rest of the day. It’s 12:30 PM now. I would like to work on the ironing after dinner, but we will be eating alone. Rich has two games tonight. I think we’re good then now until around 2 pm – might see Linda by then, and by then maybe Rich will be home. I think he has to leave around 4 PM and probably then won’t be home until 8-9 PM tonight. Good-good just concentrate, right? Probably the first thing to do is set up the screens so I can see what’s been written, what we ARE writing and the pictures. Seems easy enough … Just a little jittery.
Oh shoot … I forgot to write out our horoscopes for the day … I know sorry God. This be like hearing real sentences though about how we should be behaving. We’re still fine-tuning ourselves.
Cancer Jan 11 2013
With certain cantankerous family members, you may need to be the voice of reason today, Moonchild. You are very family-oriented, and your loved ones know that you will always be there for them. If there is some kind of family drama going on right now, it would be wise to take the lead and look for practical solutions to the problem. Keep your emotions in check, and try to be the mediator for the more difficult personalities that surround you. If you remain calm and cool, you can bring everyone onto the same page.
Sagittarius Jan 11 2013
You want to move forward with a goal or a project, but the time may not be right just yet. Instead of rushing ahead just because you're itching to reach your goal, remind yourself that it will be so much better if you take the proper steps first. There is something you need to learn or to perfect, and the next few days will offer you a few opportunities to do just that. If you focus more on how you're learning and growing in the moment, you will enjoy the entire process. Keep your eye on the prize, but know that each step also offers something enjoyable.
It’s been 1 ½ hours since we’ve heard from Rich. I don’t think anyone in my immediate family is cantankerous, but thinking here maybe Rich or someone in his family is cantankerous. Bud, Rich, his mom and his brother get that way in discussing things back and forth. Hoping him some peace and we’ll make sure to be especially careful in keeping our emotions in check today. We just took our medicine so that should help the stress. Practical solutions work for me, you too? And as to Rich’s goals … we’re thinking it means that the contract won’t be signed by the seller today – maybe or maybe not we’ll get one written by pulling Rich, our Realtor and us together. I’m thinking that Rich’s brother Mark won’t be on the lease, and we also figure that if this happens that we’re going to need right away a couple things. First we have to get our credit scores and our proof that we have funds to buy the house. And, then secondly, we are going to need signing something with Rich in taking a formal loan from his brother. IF that’s what Rich’s work will lead to finally today. I don’t know all the variables he’s got to work with … Just feel soooo appreciative that the sellers countered. I HOPE no one else looks at the building. AHA He’s home! He’s home!
Oh-oh … he’s putting freezer goods away … he’s going to talk to me, but someone IS being cantankerous … it is his mother. We’ll have to figure out the next step … Rich says it’s not good. We’re thinking Rich’s mom is backing out of either living there or handing over both Rich and Mark’s money. I don’t think it could get worse than either of those two. We’ll have to see. I don’t know if Bud’s been included in the discussion, but that would be a very serious crimp. So I guess it’s true that we’re going to need working on not getting emotional … bring everyone to the same page … that be then the deal. How we would convince Rich at this point, that it is learning and growing experience, well that might be another thing. Ok, here we go. Meet you on the other side.
Ok, ok … we’re back. It’s now about 1:30 PM … Rich was home for about an hour maybe less? We had to help settle him down because his mother had pushed all his buttons. She was going to take the route of trying to get what she wanted without touching the boys’ inheritance. I think she believes she’s playing hardball, but unless all the elements work together … It’s not going to happen. Rich was soooo frustrated, but I think we got him lowered at least one level of calm. We won’t go into all the details, but the predominant point is that Rich’s mother told him she wasn’t going to use the money saved for the boys. Personally, I think she is again just pushing buttons and shows very little knowledge of what is actually going on. I think this has to be resolved calmly and with diplomacy. Rich has to figure out what parts of her are scared and putting on breaks. I think the money in the bank has always been her security, but now she has to trust her sons. It’s been a hard change for her, because she does not trust her husband and his kids. But, I think Rich is right … she can’t back away from everyone so she’s got to put her eggs in the safest basket.
Rich was so upset … he talked about the 20 work hours a week he’s been losing going in to her place to take care of her needs which top of the list include cigarettes and booze. I think he’s considering all his options, but the one I think might be most important is that he has to reserve an appointment at a nursing home she’d talked about before and she’s going to need hearing from them that they will take away her money reserved for the boys, and that she won’t be able to smoke and drink. AND, most likely that she’s going to spend the rest of her life sharing a small 10x10 room with a stranger with most likely care of her that is not optimal. I would like to get another chance to go out there where Bud isn’t there and we can talk reasonably with her, but I know that Rich is the primary with her and that my best work will be in keeping Rich calm and maybe shedding light on what her experience might be like right now. I think she has to trust that living with us is going to work out better for her and that with the house her inheritance passed down to Rich and his kids will be there. Mostly, she’s got to trust Rich so Rich is going to need to be trustworthy like sketching out specifically her options to the point she understands them.
I think though that it’s going to take a couple of hard days.
There … I just did my Ann assignment. Not only did we wash our bed blanket, we just got off the phone with Charlie. I didn’t go into too many details, but I told him we were working with several personalities and that I fully believe this is going through, but it might take a couple of days to work out the emotions. He was understanding and stated that he would then call the sellers and let them know that we need a couple of days to work through the financing and that we still want to work with them. I think he has a good grasp on the situation. I explained that Rich had been out there, but she had tripped all his triggers and that he had to go from there to working on a couple of games tonight so that let Charlie take things in the right perspective. He’s really-really good. I told him that I thoroughly believe this is going to happen … just need to work things through as they come up.
And, I hate to say it, but we’re still relying on the good natured advice in our horoscope AND Rich’s. The first had predicted that there would be cantankerous family members and that our position was to remain calm and from that mode lead others through what we could … which means not adding to Rich’s trauma … He said something extremely nice today when we were going through what happened … he said that more than anything, he didn’t want to disappoint me. I can’t imagine something more positively stated to us. I told him on the way out the door that I believed in him and that we know his mother is problematic and we just have to work in and around her issues. I hope he’s now calm enough to let it go for the day and instead work through what he’s got going on for business through PPA today and through what he needs to do for his games tonight. He took his arthritis medicine, got dressed, and we made him a couple of sandwiches. I feel so proud of him for that entire he’s taking on with this and what’s to come up with it – like episodes today. I think bottom line is that Rich and I will be ok … just that we have to help his mother understand so she will be ok too.
It’s a process.
Rich’s horoscope had added that this would be a learning growing experience as mentioned before. There are steps that have to happen and he has to perfect his communications with his mother. He’s going to have opportunities these next few days to do it … AND, that he can enjoy the process more, but he has to keep his eye on the prize. It says there will be more opportunities and so we’re going to need going with that. I also think it was hard on Rich because his brother has gotten very sick with probably this flu thing that’s been going around. He’s making it home and will be here in the next 24 hours. I think he’s going to his place in WI, but it will be better after Rich and the family calm down to have him near for discussion. I think that Rich has to keep working with his brother, even though he’s sick so that the two work in unison in their need to take care of their mother.
Me? I’m still hoping the best and as spoke to Charlie, I really believe this is going to work out. I don’t know if Linda will be signing on soon, but I think we need to keep processing the house. Right now … we’re still in negotiation and Charlie said that he thought that if we came through with other financing – especially a cash/quick deal that they might even negotiate to his initial price of $114,000. I don’t know where Charlie has picked that up, but he’s sending out an Easter egg. Usually, we find him ON TOP of the game. That will be something nice we can tell Rich tomorrow when we talk about it today. I believe we’re still IN the game!
Ok, soooo after long last AND until Linda signs on again, we are back to writing about our thoughts on the house. Definitely though, we need a chance to talk with Rich and his mother – WITHOUT Bud. That’s just another complication. BUT, if it worked out he had better wind of things … then that aggression that he’d cause … might be something that would help push her over to our common sense – Rich and us! Rich won’t be home until about 7:30-8 PM and it’s now 2 PM … so we’ve got some hours to write, AND if things work out … maybe we’ll even get some chance then after he gets home that we’ll work on the ironing again. I think I mentioned that, but we have now officially finished one whole container of scraps and we’ve moved onto the next container. We found one scrap that we talked to Linda about, but it was REALLY long. It was chopped up a bit so we had to cut it in four major pieces, but that’s where we left her last night. We’re eager to get back to it, because it will mean that we’re sitting here again with Rich … our talking parts are over and we’re both just relaxing with TV in the background. Hmm, reminds me. We were listening to music. What happened to that? AHA! We found it … we are listening again to our “Music of Hope.” Beauty!
So, back to picture (1 of 167) - This is the picture of one of our neighbors places that is opposite direction as to ours. Good-good … we’re now side by side screens and not synchronous … so now reading the last excerpt … we had just written a summary of the picture and what was to come with maps and then the old set of pictures (16 from the real estate on the Internet) and then the pictures we took.
Whoops, Linda’s on. Another whoops - It was CS. We asked her if she had gone to MN and back to WI and had finished bringing her stuff. But, she did not answer which might mean she’s writing, or had gone to bed or something. We invited her to call, but that’s about as far as we go. I have stuff to do which COULD include her in our thoughts, but plenty of other places to go too.
Hmm, back again, but not sure for how long. It’s now 6:51 PM. We talked to Linda in FB messages for quite a while, and then we got a call from CS so we talked to her for a while. I think Linda and I had left each other in good shape, but then the call to CS was hard. I’m glad that she is trying to call because no one in her situation should go through things alone. But, she is going through some really hard things with house moving, financing, and Nathan. That’s all we want to say here, but we’re hoping the best for them and that they all get help soon. They need support all around. She might not see it, but she really needs to find someone like Dr. M. for support. It would be a gift of my thoughts to her. She’s not a bad person just really in the thick of things.
I don’t know if Linda will be back around during the 7 PM time because we talked for so much time earlier. I also think that Rich will be home in a half hour to an hour. He’ll be hungry and tired. We took another shower to help us clear our minds and we took our medicine. I know that it probably seem strange that when under stress we go back to such basics for us, but it was something learned the hard way. I’m really quite grateful for my life. I just wish CS could be on this other side. Not that she’s ungrateful, but no one should have that many problems with so little to back her up.
So we’re going to look around and see if there is anything worth mentioning and then head back to our thoughts of finishing up the writing for the day. We didn’t get to where we thought we’d go, but then again there is tomorrow. I don’t think there will be too much with real estate with Rich working the three games. One of us has to be around toward 5-7 PM for the Comcast guy. Rich had found a better deal that actually gave us more, but he had to switch out the box that they sent through the mail. The woman that he was talking to on the phone lasted 1 ½ hours before Rich was pretty much screaming for someone more competent. I like Comcast because my son works there and it gives him a good job and the recognition he deserves, but he can’t help for others who may be incompetent. All the TVs were working, except the one in the back sewing room got goofed-up so the guy will help to fix that. I’m sure it will take him less than 5 minutes, but it be worth it to preserve Rich’s sanity Hehehe. He did a good job all around, but couldn’t fix the mess the woman had put him through.
Then on Sunday he’s working at his fishing club – twice a year they are scheduled-in, and then that night Rich and us are going to his annual fishy dinner with the guys AND girls! Rich wants me to do my hair, but we’re putting our foot down … We have so many other more important things at this time. It is fine – and as well, there’s always something in the closet. I’m looking forward to spending the night out with him in a little bit fancier event.
We made coffee with Linda earlier this afternoon and we’re on our last cup. We officially filled the machine to the top of the 6 cup mark and then we added an even quarter cup of coffee to the filter. It turned out perfect and has us stop drinking early enough so that it shouldn’t be a problem. We are really looking forward to Rich getting home and us doing some babying with him. We’re pretty sure we can massage him somewhere! I might have mentioned it earlier, but he said something that was such an awesome compliment from him. He said he wasn’t worried about his mother … she had to work with him or figure it out for herself. I know that he was just hurt and angry by her. But the nice thing – he told me that the worst thing was thinking that he’d disappoint me. NEVER LOVER, NEVER!
He’s been my best friend for 18 years … we’re not going anywhere now house or no house. No doubt we’ll feel crushed, but more because of the opportunity missed than Rich not having done everything in his power to do. Yup yup … he needs some special loving tonight J
It looks like Linda saw the entry we wrote to her … we were flustered badly and depend on her for doing some of the hard stuff with us. I think we both need to watch the boundaries, but its been a blessing having her for a friend who not only cares, but listens. We try not to put on her too much, but sometimes people just need a little help. Sorry about that girl. I appreciate that after having written thoughts out I feel better … hope we didn’t set her off her mark or we would have then proven to go too far.
Probably not a good idea to then go back to write about the pictures that we’d wanted to do all day today without extra stuff mixing in, but I feel good to be as good of shape as we are right now. We’ll be conscious of keeping it short with Linda if she does write. We would both probably benefit from working on the areas of quilting. She is doing two applique projects, one that is ongoing and another she just picked-up for a gift today. Pretty sure she’ll be excited to get in there with her sleeves rolled-up. She’s charged like that … and seems to be feeling better and better each day from the long flu she’d gotten. It seems to show most in her ability to concentrate on getting things in order to reinstate her back into her sewing pleasures.
I think that is CS one failsafe too and she’s feeling it right now. Just seems that you gotta deal with some of the reality stuff, and then you earn points to be doing some of the fun stuff too. I think about it like in the days of the settlers where most of the day is for the hard grinding out work kinds of things, but then after the supper dishes are cleaned, that’s when you get out the relaxing stuff that can pretty much be done from a rocker. Yup yup … we believe in that. We’re thinking that Linda is talking the other stuff out with Tony or writing. We’ll do the same with Rich when he comes in. Just step in and then safely step back out, right?
AHA! The girl is typing, BUT then at that moment Rich enters the house J All’s well!