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Friday, January 11, 2013

Still wondering if this is going to happen and if so ... what then?

We are thinking this is a command performance … Umm thank you Rich for “umm” HELPING us with our laundry decisions today ;)

Thursday, January 10, 2013 @ 11:17 AM

Good morning.  This is us … We’re still working on our morning, but it’s just turned noon.  We had been waiting for the washer and now the other people are in the dryer so we were good with the washer.  I hope they move their clothes before we need it.  I’m never sure who is in there.  We talked to the woman downstairs and they are moving toward the end of the month.  We told them we were thinking about it too, but she’d already known through Rich that we were looking for a place.  It’s a little risky telling her because she could tell the building management before we were ready, but that be the truth told.  Just don’t want to lose our place until we can get something ready for Rich’s Mom and us.  It will be a new turn toward the building management to lose two excellent 12-20 year renters.  I think that the neighborhood is changing though so I’m sure there is both good and bad about that … Just we’re hoping not to be here  - we really want our own place for security and for being able to take care of Rich’s mother – whether she gives us grief or not.

We’ve cleaned up all the rooms and the dishwasher is running.  Looking pretty good for this next phase of writing for the next three hours plus before we need to get going for Dr. Marvin’s.  I think after we do the laundry and put back together the bed, we will be taking our shower.  I don’t know if we’ll run into Linda today … she had people coming in for extra stuff going out, and I believe she’s with her Granddaughter today.  We’ll play it by ear.

As you might have noted in the last short entry – the one’s written primarily to Linda … we haven’t heard anything on the real estate yet.  It would be nice for it to happen sooner than later, but we can do the wait … just gotta hope and pray that we get the negotiations settled before someone else comes in with an offer.  AND, if that were the case I’d hope they’d give us a chance to negotiate it.  Just don’t think we could go over asking price.  PLEASE let’s hope for something VERY excellent to come from this.  I don’t think it will happen today because our HOROSCOPE Hehehe hasn’t stated anything special going on, but stranger things have happened. 

Today it says … wait … we’re sending both Rich’s and our horoscope for the day to our email.  Then we will copy/paste it over.  We are Cancer and Rich is Sagittarius. 

Cancer Jan 10 2013 

You are teetering on the edge of a new and exciting idea. You are hesitant to take the plunge and to make an attempt at turning the idea into a real opportunity. You fear you could make a mistake, or maybe you're just afraid that no one will take you seriously or will think you're thinking is faulty or even flaky. Then again, Moonchild, if you're really onto something - and it's likely that you are - this idea could transform some area of your life in a wonderful way. Think of terms of the possibilities this idea could ultimately bring - they include prosperity and fulfillment through a creative pursuit. It's certainly worth looking into. 

Sagittarius Jan 10 2013 

If you approach a problem with fear and dread, you will probably not be very successful in solving it. But if you face that problem with hopefulness and positive energy, you will find that it's a pretty easy situation to fix. That may sound like an easy choice, Sagittarius, but if you are fearful about something it isn't all that easy to just change your emotions to be more positive - though it can certainly be done. First, you will have to look at the situation from a distance. Pretend it's happening to someone else, and you can be more objective. When you do, you'll realize that it isn't as bad as you imagined. 

We’re thinking for ourselves that something new as an idea – most likely creative would be a nice thing to happen today – though I’m not thinking right now of being creative on anything except blogging.  Maybe the new and exciting idea is in my thoughts toward the new place.  I would like to soon go back there.  I believe we left off at picture 34 of 167 – so we got some room to go from 35 to 167, plus we might have to refresh us to our first set of thoughts on the first 34.  We’ve had troubles this last couple of days concentrating on that part, because we are putting more energy into worrying that it just happen and the place would become ours.  Maybe today though?  Don’t think I have a whole lot to add in the general areas of life.  You know where we’ve been up to today and that the timer is going to ring in about 25 minutes to change the load of clothes.  Yup-yup … that’s pretty much bringing you up to the brink of things.  Hmm?  I would like to mention here that one of my favorite sounds is the sound of the dishwasher going in the background.  If we move, I’m going to miss it.  It is ours though so we’d have to think what to do with it.  I see two options … one we “leave” it with the building – maybe in exchange for something because it would be a good deal for their next tenant to have something so luxurious in exchange for going down to the first floor from the third to do laundry.  The other option would depend, but we would check to see if Cari and Joe had a dishwasher.  I’m thinking they do, but it would be nice for them if they didn’t.  It is a roll to the sync model which has never been a problem – nor has the machine been a problem in the least over the last approximate 7-8 years we’ve owned it.  It was one of the things we bought from my father’s inheritance.  It was a really big deal – and it’s been that way ever since.  I don’t know anyone else in the family that might need one, but maybe we’d put it out there none-the-less for someone in the area.  They’d have to transport, but they’d be getting a beaut.  It is really bigger than the one at the house, and the little one would have to do for three people plus, but for the amount of space … the little one fits – is built-in and this other is not.  It be something I’d be sad to lose – so hoping it goes to someone who really cares.  It has been one of our best expenses EVER!!!

Ok, I know you came here to hear about our dishwasher, hmm?  Ok, maybe not.  We should then be moving on?  Next subject is?

Hmm, don’t think we said anything about last night … is there anything there?  I think we were talking to Linda – and not for very long when Rich came in … Linda proposed the idea that Rich might need help in the kitchen and we knew not, but that sometimes it is nice to sit with him while he works.  He’s definitely a one person cook.  So we decided to go out and say bye to Linda.  We told Rich that Linda thought it a good idea for us to come out and help him in the kitchen.  Rich’s response to that was … remind me that I have to do LINDA a favor – but we’re pretty sure he was thinking … that it would be more like getting even … like no one ask for that kind of help, but he was in his silly mood too.  After a few moments of being there I knew why it was that we don’t do it more often.  We started like – do this, or do that … and even hearing the words drop from our tongue, we knew that that kind of commentary wasn’t really welcoming, but we found it impossible to hold back.  It’s like having a backseat driver.  BLAH!

So, we soon excused ourselves and went to our normal “Ann be patient space” on the couch until Rich brought out dinner.  He had decided to have soup, but we’d had it for lunch and didn’t want more so he had that and less French fries with his sausage, and we had MORE fries and no soup.  It turned out to be a pretty good deal.  Dinner was great.  I think we watched a couple NCIS with him and I think about 10-10:30 PM he took the Kindle to bed and we started to think of slowing down our night so we could sleep.  Fortunately the little coffee we had – 2 cups didn’t keep us awake and we slept through the night. 

I would like to say something though in getting ready for bed.  We had stopped by the kitchen and noticed there were a few things out which included Rich’s empty tea container.  So we made the hot water for that and put the remaining dishes away.  Just wanted to say that was a good feeling … to tidy up the kitchen so that it would be ready in the morning to say HI pleasantly.  I can’t say we’ve always done that, but there are several new series of thoughts going toward how to live with three people so that things are always in good shape not only for all of us, but so that it makes our place always ready for company.  Thinking here that Bud will end up coming over frequently as long as he can move and drive about and that other people will come like Brandy and Crystal and Chance.  Those are Mark’s kids and Chance is Crystal’s 7 year old son.  I think he’s 7 … pretty close to there at least.  I think we would be moving farther away from them because they are fairly close in proximity to the trailer, but I’m not sure which direction they are from it.  Just want them to know they’re always invited.

I’m not sure who else would stop by.  Bud’s kids and grandchildren have been in and out of Rich’s stepfather and Mom’s house, but I’m not sure if they would come to “Janice’s” place unless it was a planned event with Bud.  I really don’t even know how often Bud would be over without Mom, but I’m guessing there would be days where we dropped her off at the trailer and then we or Bud or Rich would pick her up and bring her home.  I’m just thinking we are REALLY positive that some of the anger will dissipate between them once they aren’t responsible for taking care of each other’s difficulties. 

Rich says that Bud has been quiet when Rich is over and he says they are still not talking though Bud is from appearance trying to be nice to her.  It would be up to her whether she can forgive him for leaving her.  I think that’s primarily where the anger stems from.  I think also though that because his mother isn’t depending on Bud – is calling Rich instead, or others, that Rich’s Mom isn’t getting drop down drunk because she doesn’t want to be depended on Bud for taking care of her.  I think if I were Bud, I’d be wondering what his actions over that couple of weeks of Christmas was all about.  I still don’t know if it were his idea or Karen’s … I’m pretty sure it was her that said my father doesn’t have to put up with Rich’s Mom’s drunkenness.  There is no doubt she was in that condition.  But, to leave her there without support?  I know she called Rich, but he couldn’t get there because of being at a game already – working.  She can be left for periods of time, but if she was that drunk it would have been dangerous. 

Bud gives the appearance of being lost in their space.  We know that he stayed over at several family members’ places so it might have been that no one could take him all the time.  I don’t know any of those variables, though I heard it from I believe Rich that if Bud were not to be living at the trailer, then he’d probably stay with the three boys.  I think we said this before, but because Frieda died there is most likely a vacant room in the house, unless two boys had spread out since she’s been gone.  Frieda was Bud’s ex-wife and the mother of all his 5 kids.

Ok, we are having just a little break here.  We talked to Linda for a few moments.  She had gotten the donation ready last night, but is in process of other things and will pick-up her Granddaughter this afternoon.  She’s got sewing in mind now … and I’m so happy to find that she’s getting back to normal.  It was a long time to have a flu and I know it is really way out there – that many are being sick and some are even dying.  We’re so grateful she’d getting past it.

It’s now 1:23 PM, so that means about 24 minutes to getting sheets out of the dryer, and then we’ll empty the dishwasher (already moved it back in place) and then shower and then write until Dr. Marvin’s … it’s a possibility that Rich will be home by 2 – 2:30 PM, but it is our hope to get these few things done before he comes home.  I just would like to make it nice for him.  Pswhoo … I thought I just heard his keys, but not so.  Just these magic little Brownies within us want to surprise him all the time!  *giggling here*

I have to now figure out what we were saying before talking to Linda.  Hmm, pretty much about how Bud was doing.  It’s sort of a sad thing thinking that his actions and her actions have led to the point of them not living together.  Bud when fully charged is pretty sure that its only his business to be taking care of Rich’s Mom’s.  I would go as far though to say they are very abusive toward one another.  We’ve seen them acting like snapping turtles and the whole situation just isn’t healthy.  I think it’s usually Rich’s mother that calms down first, but as long as she is drinking all bets are off.  This one seems like she’s holding on to the anger longer and we’re not really sure of her experience this last month to have gotten her to feel like that.  I do know that she’s remaining quiet as to her plans to leave and she and Rich and Mark are doing most of the figuring out. 

I don’t know how surprised the rest of them are going to be when it’s stated out loud in a meeting between Rich – his brother if he’s in town, their mother and then Bud, Karen and any of the boys who would want to be there.  Still I believe Karen is the matriarch of the family.  I can see that what was probably her action to protect her father that first night she didn’t want to leave him, but having that last a couple of weeks, I don’t think she could have known what that would do to Mom.  Especially, because Mom’s “care” appeared to be in just Bud and Karen’s hands with her taking care of their money.  When push came to shove, Rich’s mother could see that Bud’s kids would only take care of him and be damned with her.  Because of the drinking Rich’s Mom brings a lot of that on herself, but I think more than anything … they really don’t know how to work with people other than yelling.  This has been Bud and Rich’s Mom’s way of handling problems for a long time.  I certainly am not going to say that Rich and I are without argument, just there is a civility in us so that if one or the other is mad, they hold back and wait a bit of time … usually not more than a couple hours, sometimes I’ve remained mad for a couple of days, but the one thing that is critical is that you don’t treat your partner mean in the meantime.  You don’t say or think of bad things … you try and figure out your part of the problem.  Usually, because of our multiplicity it includes for us a bit of a meltdown and then we’re ready to be personable again.

Oh oh … no surprise for Rich, but one for me … he brought up the dryer load AND THEN, said he would make the bed, but later.  We were willing to help, but he said he was tired, because he’d gone up Bob’s 4-5 stairs about 12 times.  He’s getting things in place to do some handwork over there instead of giving it to one of his shops, because he really needs the money.  I feel bad when he does that, but also appreciative that he’s that able to provide no matter what. 

He’s a VERY good Rich!

It doesn’t look like he’s heard anything on the house, or we’re pretty sure he would have said something.  I think he’s going back out in a little bit?  Not sure might be, or might be he takes care of business paperwork and calls until he has to leave for the game at 4 pm.  He knows we’re leaving in 1 ½ hours, AND we did finish the house since he is doing the bed, so we took our shower.  NOW … perfectly uninterrupted time!  YAY!!!  We did mention to him that we were almost out of popcorn, but he said he had planned to go on Friday, so we’re all good there.  YAY!  We looked at his list one more time and discovered he’d put on their deodorant.  Good thing, we’d hate to hang around without it!  We should be all set.

I’m not sure if I really want to go back into things now with Bud and Rich’s Mom.  I don’t think anything is really happening there today.  I know that Rich didn’t have enough privacy to talk to her yesterday so they will have to talk soon.  BUT, we’re out of all that.  I do feel that it is really important that we talk or at least they talk about securing peoples’ moneys so that Mark or Mark’s girls Crystal and Brandy get their due.  Mark will need his money back, and Crystal and Brandy should be on a short list if anything were to happen to Mark.  I can only assume that’s where Mark’s money will go – toward his two girls.

Ok, we’re throwing excess worry into our worry.  Everything will be set –up and everyone will be taken care of.  I don’t know if it will be written somewhere that I will continue if asked to take care of Rich’s mother if something happened to him, but I’m not sure they will want that on paper.  Of course, I would sign, thinking again here everyone has to be protected.

One thing we haven’t gone into very much, but I think it’s come up between Rich’s mother and brother and him, and that is where I sit in succession to stuff.  And, there will most likely be a discussion that if Rich and I both contribute toward this last $45,000 that will be owed … then that part should get split evenly, but will it be also 50-50 if Rich contributes $63,500 and I contribute $11,500.  His part is his retirement account and his money from his mother, mine is from my mother, and money saved in my account that will most likely pay the earnest fee.  I suppose if we were to figure all that out … that would be a total of $75,000 and Rich would have contributed 85% and I would have contributed 15% of the first 63% (2/3rds).  So then since the last $45,000 would be 50/50 then we could add $63,500 plus $22,500 and add $11,500 plus $22,500 so that Rich would have put in $86,000 and I would have put in $34,000 so then if it was all paid off including chair rail at $120,000 and it sold at $120,000 then Rich’s three kids could split his share and my three kids could split my share.  SO that … given these particular numbers Rich’s kids would get 72% and my kids would get 28%.  And since we each have three kids AND if the house sold for $120,000 … Rich’s three kids would each get $28,667 and my three kids would each get $11,330.  It is not a lot of money for any of them, but it would at least be worth something special and keep things even so that nobody had to go after nobody to get “their” fair share.  I guess another way of saying it was that no matter how much the house sold for … Jon, Jillian and Chris would each get 24% and then Maury, Thom and Joe would get 9.3%.  It’s about as fair as we can make it considering all.

SOMEONE would still have to bury us, and then there is this other important part … the part is where NO ONE gets money until BOTH Rich and I die.  I would sincerely hope that no one try to kick us out.  There is one thing that have to be figured out.  If this deal went through and Rich were to die tomorrow, then insurance would kick in the last $45,000 … My thinking is here that both would have kicked into the insurance so that we keep the last $45,000 (insurance to finish paying the house) at a 50/50 deal.  I know that Rich isn’t really thinking this part is too important, but Rich’s mother and kids should have the comfort of knowing that if both Rich and I died, that one a $120,000 property they’d each get almost $29,000 x 3 would be $87,000.  That would help them in that their Grandmother’s Father’s initial investment which was $37,500 to Rich would have blossomed into that AND an additional $40,000 to be split in 1/3rds to them.  Even if one of us died before the other … and maybe the one remaining assured that money in his or her behalf went toward paying things off … it would still be insurance money from both that was invested … so again 50-50 on the last $45,000 AND then it goes without reason that if Mark helped out and then died tomorrow, that Rich and I would pay his $45,000 month by month or as otherwise agreed in payments to Mark, but to his two girls, so they would each hold $22,500 of our loan.  It be nice to add that if their father died, we would refinance so that they could receive directly and quickly ALL that was left, but that would leave Rich and us unprotected because we still even at that point could not be expected to refinance due to debt/income ratio.  I think the kids will be ok, and that I hope that both of our ex’ will be able to contribute that much more to their own three children. 

If Sharon has saved wisely … and we know that Maury would … then the kids will get a good deal.  Maury had the advantage of inheriting already from his mother, but it would go that Jackie would inherit first.  It’s hard to tell because he would have contributed so much more, but we’re thinking that their money will be divided to ALL six of their combined children.  Rich’s ex is obviously not married … her money will most likely go to the kids and the house would be sold so that her 2/3rds would still go to her kids and 1/3 would go to Rich.  I believe if Rich were to die the kids would automatically get his 1/3rd.  The question would be if for example she died first would all her money go to Rich before being split down to the kids or vice versa if Rich were to die would she have the 100% and then split to her kids.  I guess it shouldn’t really matter, except to the kids.  If they have to wait for both parents to die … then it will take longer getting to them.  One way or another Sharon will be protected from having to leave her house. 

It would be questionable if one of our ex’ were married – could Maury’s money for example go to Jackie and then she remarry and all THAT money go to his family instead of our three sons.  I’m not sure about that, but should be something that the three boys discuss with their father.  As to Rich and us I don’t really see so much other money being there … But, if Rich or Rich and I were to invest after paying off the house … then it would have to be figure out then what happened to what.  It seems the most clear to say that if it was clearly Rich and me doing something because our money is mixed, then it should be divided 6 ways and if it were just him or just me … then that part should go to our own three kids.  I think the most difficulty would be between Chris and Maury though … neither one has reason to trust the other and they both watch that kind of thing closely.  My hardest thing would be trusting that Chris not try to collect before we were gone.  It scares me that his father trusts him as the banker to be the one that took care of his estate.  I’ve no sense that Chris would do for himself before us.  That’s pretty much the worst of it … and at this time is coming wholly from my head.  I don’t mean to misalign people … just trying to take care.  And, there would be one more thing.  If for example if Rich were to die and I had the house … what would happen if I sold the house for a different one … what would happen to the inheritances at that point.  If I went for a lesser priced place then would the “extra” money be mine or part of Rich’s estate, and If found more money and went to a more expensive house then would Rich’s kids still get the same percent?  I’m thinking that no matter what the circumstance that ACTUAL investment in is the only thing guarded for that person’s kids.  Everything else should be 50-50 between both families.  It just makes sense.

There is one last bit of financials.  That is to say that the women … Sharon and I will both receive MORE money from Social security from our first husbands.  Nothing much else to be said there … Just that if our first husbands were to die … then each of us (females) inherits from the initial partner.  I think that’s just the plain truth.  Let’s hope all around that nobody be sitting here hoping for ANYONE to die.  Hmm, ONE more thing … I think it should be clear that if one of the siblings died – that the remaining two in the family will split the money of the total sibling “share.”  So, instead of dividing that portion in three, it would be divided in two, or one if there was just one left.  It just seems right.

It’s been a long time since we thought we could be worth anything to anyone if someone were to die.  Again … let’s not hope for that … just we need to be prepared.


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