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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Ok, Into the Totally Terrified Stage

Tuesday, February 12, 2013 @ 11:51 AM

Hi hi … this is me.  We’re totally absolutely terrified.  Having trouble moving, but we might have expected something like this for us.  We know we’ll get over it … just it is giving us a little problem now.  We go to Dr. Marvin’s in three hours … check.  The above picture seems to be a good majority of the emotional turmoil we are now feeling.  I’m trying to convince myself that everything is going to be ok and that the only thing we have to do is SOMETHING and that includes whatever it takes to get out of the door at 3 PM.  Rich is gone now and I think that is about when he is coming home, but I believe he has a ball game tonight.  He also asked me if we could help him with another job from his work, though different than the other.  It is a matter of applying some goo to some plastic housings to wipe away the sticky glue.  I should be able to handle that, right  Just gotta try hard.  Rich doesn’t deserve any less.

I think what we are feeling is the sense of shock.  We are not processing well that we are not only going to need leaving this apartment where we’ve lived for 12 years, but as well, we are going to be responsible to see that it happens.  A lot of the fear right this moment seems to be focused on a basket of clean clothes on my table in the LR.  It doesn’t belong there.  But, we can’t make ourselves put it away.  Rich had done the washing of the load, and had hoped we could help, and he’s then just left it there and taken things out of it as he needs them.  He is also at the place where we need to help him put on his “HARDER” socks … so that is our internal clue that we have to wash clothes again. 

Yesterday, I thought we’d made some progress, because after we became unfrozen enough, we were looking at the Flylady, and we were looking at GTD by David Allen.  Both are resources we are familiar with when things get internally scary for us.  We kept crashing though which means the more we understood, the more we couldn’t keep our eyes open.  We’ve been here before and know it has things to do with Annemarie, but that isn’t going to get the boxes packed.  Rich is reminding us that we need to clean of tops so we can be processing boxes, but we’re not up to that part yet.  We thought that maybe if we just write a while, that maybe we could handle something. 

This morning Rich did some business stuff, but he also went to Sandwich to meet the new landlord (husband/wife).  He also had to do things to help his mother.  She must have had an appointment of one type or another.  I think she had to go to the bank or hairdresser.   Hard to tell.  The things she is having Rich do are not overly complicated, but take some effort.  And, I remember now that he was going to go over electronic billing with her.  They were arranging it so that Rich can pay the bills for Bud and his mother.  Karen had been doing it, but her husband is sick with Cancer and it was something he could take off their plate for him.  Rich’s mother has been frustrated because the bills have not been coming to her house, so she doesn’t know what’s in them, and Karen was doing her bills at lunchtime at her work so wasn’t always timely in getting back to Rich’s mother.  She’s also frustrated because she’s trying to take care of the bills being blind and Bud isn’t really good at reading her what’s on them or understanding complications they sometimes create.  In general though, between the two of them, they probably have a better grasp on bills then I do.  Well, maybe some of us. 

This morning right before we started to write, we opened the tax papers that have been sitting here for almost two weeks.  We saw that the accountant left a place for us to sign, and that we had to mail back one to him and one to the state.  In total, we have to pay a couple hundred dollars and only get $6 back.  *sigh*  I suppose.  We also figured out how to contact the school.  About a week ago, they had sent us a note saying they hadn’t gotten our exit interview.  Sometimes it takes a while until we feel reliable to handle such things.  Calling and asking for help helps the most.  We had scanned a copy of the document they were missing, so it was easy enough to email to them, though it was hard for us to hear the speed of which the person on the other end was telling us his email.  Finally, it went through though … so we’re going to sit back and hope that something else happens that is doing what is supposed to happen.

Who Knows?!!

It seems that messing up some kind of morning routine isn’t helping much either.  We’ve been reading so haven’t gotten to the computer to look at emails or FB.  Really it can take only a few moments, but we need to do something on a regular basis.  We have made some progress with utilizing an app on the phone for Evernote.  Shoot.  Cancel that thought.  I’d gone to Evernote online and it doesn’t seem to be syncing up L Grrrrrrrrrr….

Shoot shoot that’s just too frustrating.  Now what? 

Ok, cool … we did it!  We figured out that we were having an authentication problem, so we retyped our password on the phone and then re-synced and WALLAH  the notes went through!  YAY!!!!  I had also plugged the phone directly into the computer, so I’m not sure if that helped, or was merely incidental.

We did some work on tags and found that we could at one for “to-do,” and it would pull up those saved so that for both notes where we had checkboxes under “to-do,” both came up.  AHA!  Tied in that to the folder we had had on tasks needing to be done.  One of those might be redundant, but we’ll wait on that until we are less cloudy.  On the other hand … we are NOW SHOWERED!  Yay.  And it is only 1:08 PM.  I’m going to put that down on the accomplished side.

As to a little more conversation, we talked to Rich just before getting into the shower.  He had met the new landlady and he thought she was nice and friendly.  The rules that seem very strict and probably are – are loosened when talking to people in general, like Rich is going to be able to park his boat overnight to be working on it packing it for overnight.  He will still keep it at his mother’s and Bud’s for regular storage – more for the winter, and then at his fishing club in the summer.  BUT, it takes a lot of strain off of him not to be pushing so hard and having the boat AWAY from him.  I think that Rich is more than excited to be having a garage.  He’s talked several times about fixing it up with pegboard and work bench.  I’m excited for him.  He says it’s a 2 ½ car garage and that’s a lot!  I think he won’t be able to park his boat there though unless he got what he is calling a tear-away trailer hitch.  That sounds expensive, so it will for sure wait.

There were other questions answered like Jillian could come for a week without us being charged an extra $150, and we can send our check in electronically, and other things like that.  We’re really looking forward – soooo much!  I hope I feel the same friendly vibes as Rich.  He’s a nice guy though so she might be sweeter on him (boohiss!)

Maybe it would be a good time to talk a couple of hours now on the experiences that we’ve been going through during this last couple of days.  The general run-down is that Rich saw the place on Saturday, ok’d it, and then I saw it on Sunday, and ok’d it *giggle* and then we talked with the Realtor in her office at Swanson.  We had found her because she had a listing we were interested in that was a MFG Home.  She had shown us as well a few properities on Friday night when we had through Rich the first thoughts on looking at homes like this.  The first one was really nice, but someone had put a bid on it that night, and then when we came home Friday night before going out with the Girls on Saturday, we had found online this home that became OUR home!  I actually found it in the listing and interrupted Rich from TV to tell him that I had found our home.  Hehehe I was RIGHT!  FINALLY!  We had gone to Rich’s Mother’s house after we’d seen the place and she was on a holy terror.  YEEKS!  She was yelling and screaming and telling Rich (us) to get the hell out of her house.  I just sat there and stared and Rich did what he needed to do offensively and defensively to settle her down.  It took a good 45 minutes.  She had been bothered that we hadn’t made plans to stay for dinner, and she was mad that we hadn’t taken a house that we could have fixed-up three houses down.  Everything else was pretty much a repeat of that.  Rich and I stayed while Bud went out and got there dinner, and Rich read her the bills that she’d wanted to hear, and  then we left, but it had taken a couple of hours.

On the way home, we had checked the phone and Carolyn our new Realtor HAD called and we called her back right away.  She gave us the news that the sellers were very excited and had accepted the offer, but instead of the 12th, they wanted to know if we could close on the first.  That was doable, though Rich didn’t want to rush through it.  He’s pretty much figured he wants to move around the 25th of March, so I accepted that and we are now in the process of looking for a mover.  We have one we’re talking to through their office, and the guy is supposed to give me a call later in the day to come over for a free estimate.  This one came recommended by one we had remembered from Oak Park – who was out of the delivery area.

I’m hoping Rich will be home to help us through it, because he will have his own demanding questions and concerns.  I would too, but because we are flexing out of being able and unable to do things, I don’t want to be counted as the one in charge really of anything.  I just have to try my best each day.  I’m being a little unnerved thinking that Bud is going to drop over at odd times and be pushing us to be dressed and moving and such.  We really need the Flylady to assist us in getting everything done.  But, we weren’t up to her first task of cleaning the kitchen sink.  We know it’s coming like making beds and putting on tennis shoes.  Ok, too much, too much!

Since Sunday night when we heard the news, Rich and us have been talking and talking about all the stuff that not only needs to get done, but also figured out.  I think I wrote about it earlier, but Rich really wants to be in all the planning stages.  We’re getting more used to that and are having much fewer arguments.  Ours never last more than a few moments, but they can get heated.  Neither of us have ever called anyone names or swore or anything like that, but we get like – NO MY idea is better, and then the other says NO MY idea is better.  And, then we’re just frustrated with each other, and have to calm down.

We still had to do some paperwork on Monday, but it wasn’t too bad.  There were a couple applications as they checked out our credit and we had to read about 14 pages of rules and sign them for the Park.  That was done and ready to send back to Carolyn for delivery to the park, but then Rich decided because he had questions that he would like to deliver them himself to the landlord.  He said her name, but I forget it now.  Rich thought she was about 40 and her husband was about 50 and they had a 2-3 year old.  Again, they seemed nice.  Rich did tell them a bit about us being together for 18 years, but living together for five years and about the kind of work he did.  He probably also told them I was disabled.  I will have to ask if I think of it.  Rich said they will have their final acceptance of being renters to their land about tomorrow at noon.  I guess that’s soon enough.

The contract on the house though as mentioned happened on Sunday night.  We are all eager to see this through quickly and smoothly.  It sounded like the homeowners Betty and Bill are eager to move on too.  It seems that Bill’s mother is alone and they are moving up to help her, like Rich and I are moving to help his mother.  It turns out to be a good deal all around. 

The most fun conversations were the one’s especially yesterday morning when Rich and us discussed where things were going.  We had started the night before and we’d gone to bed whispering in each other’s ear in excitement as to what was what.  I’m the one still having adjustment issues.  Parts in the system are still asking if it’s true.  We were working though on trying to purpose the rooms.  Basically, kitchen and pantry/mud room are Rich’s area of expertise.  We did decide that the cat litter box would go back in the bathroom area.  There’s a half bath off the mudroom.  It’s not for guest or anything.  Then we decided that our kitchen table will do in the breakfast area, but it is also known that I want that long 10 person table and chairs and bar stools pictured in the last entry.  Rich is saying we don’t have that kind of money, but then we said we’d like our money – the extra $500 we’re saving each month to go toward that furniture AND include the ping-pong table. That way we could get it in about a year. 

Rich started to talk about paying down some of the bills with high interest first, but I’m not as interested in paying down his boat.  That’s a STRONG period.  I agreed to work on house with our money, I didn’t agree to work on the boat.  That’s gotta be Rich’s thing.  HMPF!  What kind of motivation is it if I pay for home AND boat and then he goes fishing and leaves me by myself?  That be TERRIBLE!  But on the other hand he want to go fishing AFTER we got treated like a queen (nice furniture), then THAT might be ok *giggle.*  Rich says too that there might be some kind of trouble with people thinking that I should be getting half the house and Rich the other if he’s paying more money toward it.  I have to ask more questions about that, because he’s confusing our brain.  I liked the part that I paid for household until we were caught up with what he had paid.  SOOOO, since the amount we’ll owe every month on renting the land and taxes and such come to $440, it is obvious I will pay that.  I will also pay about $100-150 for gas and electric, I will pay $200 for cable, and I should be able to take over the two phones through Verizon.  That’ would be another $200.  That gives me $450 to pay toward furniture.  We’ll have to talk that over with Rich, but I think it’s about right.  He still has to pay the cars, insurance, food and any luxuries.

Sorry to keep doing this to you, but we’re trying to figure it out.  $27 for him, $25 for his Mom, $10 from my Mom and $2 from me.  I know not too much from me, but that means $64,000 and the place cost $52,000 so that means we’ll have $12,000 over.  We don’t need appliances, paint, or flooring, and closing is mostly paid by the seller.  I think the things we need are:

Kitchen table/Poker table
Eight Kitchen chairs
Four Bar stools
Ping Pong table
Two recliners
Guest bed
Some kind of furniture for the sunroom
Rich would still like a walk in tub

Yup that could eat $12,000



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