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Friday, July 5, 2013

Day Two of being back in the saddle ... finished before 10 am ... looking good!

Friday, July 5, 2013 @ 7:43 am

Good morning.  This is me.  We are settling down now after having given our medicine a chance to work.  We did get a little riled in that we were going through our emails and came up to a Mashable article saying that it may now be possible to totally transplant a human head and that it has been done on a rhesus monkey.  My question would be why ... Ok, obviously Frankenstein comes to mind, but thinking that getting someone elses head would make me a better person - though on a more lightheaded note ... could be a new business in weight loss!  Probably imagining too much here in that it is still figured to be a 13 million dollar surgery *sigh*.  One of my high school friends has already responded stating she knows some people it might help.  Probably shouldn't be laughing here but makes freezing people entirely more umm "thoughtful?"

Ok, lets move on past the macabre.  K?

We already had a chance to talk to Linda this morning.  She and Tony might go on vacation, but they are not sure where yet, just Tony has some time available.  She's been with family over the last couple of days and is readjusting now they are gone ... sleep has befuddled her though.  *sigh*

She also went out last night for fireworks.  We did too, but it wasn't as successful.  First was the getting out part.  We are more flexible now than we used to be.  We went with Rich to his brother's place (really his Mom's house) after a great rib dinner with potatoes and corn and salad.  We had to pick up a few things for her to bring to the nursing home.  And then we stopped at the pharmacy to pick-up a few more things.  Then he brought them in to her.  After that we stopped for Slurpees and then a McDonald's sundae for his brother, and then we went back to his house to catch up on the day.

That was an interesting visit.  Usually, when the brothers get together they are going over things now, but also from the past.  It is like learning a whole new Rich when listening to his brother.  It seemed like they were opposites in some way though sharing a lot of similar memories.  Mostly though Rich's brother remembers a lot more getting beaten.  It seems to make more sense then some of the stories Rich tells, or maybe as an addition.  The brothers explain that Rich was the "good one" and Mark was the "bad one."  Along with that comes the family's explanation that Rich was a "con man" and out for way too many meetings.  Basically, Rich used his mind to move through life where his brother most likely acted things out.  Mark is a rougher cut - ok it goes with the territory of being a long distance over the road trucker, but he swears, smokes and drinks like his mother, where Rich doesn't do any of that.  Rich though doesn't acknowledge how much yelling he does.  Of course we're a light-weight on this where if you've raised your voice we consider that to be yelling.

I believe the situation that Mark got himself into a lot more trouble, but with his mother's temper we're thinking that part of it was like us in our family being angry and rebellious over the rough treatment.  I think that his mother - their mother like ours got crazy angry and didn't know how to handle the situation.  I think Mark stays angry, but is much less physical.  He didn't raise his own kids much so we don't know how all that turned out and he can have some pretty rough opinions of things that don't make sense to him, but underneath it he's a teddy bear - though street wise.  Rich is more book smart though he's been around the track much more than we have.

I have a hard time respecting Rich's mother because she's most likely and it was confirmed by Rich's brother always really thought of herself first.  Just can't have kids like that ... and I think she really needed the help of her parents, but when they started yelling and screaming at her or with her too she took the boys out of their shared hour for 8-10 months.  By then Rich moved out after she threatened to kick him out at 17.  He said don't do it, she did and then he was out for good.  I think she still thinks he deserted her though she pushed past anything reasonable.  I think Rich got married 3-5 years later ... forget, and right after that she got married to Bud.  Mark says that they've yelled their entire marriage of about 39 years.  It's just really a terrible way to go.  She doesn't think she's responsible for any of that though Rich is trying to educate her that what she is doing is verbal and emotional abuse.  She thinks she is a kitten *Blah!*

Anyway it was very much a learning lesson talking to the boys about their childhood.  I can't blame Rich for being out of his family house that much.  It is funny - well not ha ha funny, but it seems that he did the same in his marriage.  First he married someone that also did a lot of yelling and screaming, and then he was out of the house - most often working to avoid the home situation that he'd just left.  I'm happy to say that NOW Rich works at home and like now we are sitting at opposite recliners - both typing away ... me on the writing and him on his business.  Surely some progress of life styles has occurred.  I'm still more apt to close down or leave when he gets angry.  Compared to those in his family it's clearly not as much, but he is like a caretaker always and he sees life as happening as to his plans - basically, so he can step back from the care-taking role and "get out" mostly now to do the fishing.  If something gets him frustrated, he still lives, or does what we call whining.  *hmpf*

Anyway ... going back, after Rich and I left his brothers/mom's, it was dark and on the way home, we could see fireworks over the farm fields, and Rich started to drive toward them.  We went north a bit toward town, but knew Sandwich wouldn't do their fireworks until Sunday from the county fair grounds.  So we went west to the next town over and found in Somotauk they were doing series of fireworks over Lake Holiday (3-4 miles from us).  So Rich went down a road that led us into parking in a corn field.  Hehehe - I know children of the corn.  We lasted as long as we could, but we were quickly disintegrating or basically regressing.  We had forgotten to take our medicine before leaving and by then we were like 3 hours late which is terrible for us.  We aren't able to hold onto the adult parts.  Some of it I think was good.  Fireworks are ALWAYS pretty, but the noise was hurting us pretty bad so we were skirmish and whiny.  It wasn't fair to Rich who had been trying to do something fun for us.

After it had gotten too far he asked before they finished is we wanted to go home.  We did.  But then, he stopped once more on a road where others had pulled over to to see the fireworks we had been watching from a different view.  We did about 8-10 minutes more, but by then it got way over and out of control so he brought us home.  I think we put down our things when we got home, but immediately took our medicine and headed to the bedroom, got undressed and hid under the covers and pillow.  We were pretty riled, and then we screamed when Rich came in and touched us when checking on us.  But, we were easier to calm.  We ended up following him back to the living room and fell asleep on the couch with continued whimpering, but not as bad.  After some time ... Rich had obviously closed up the house and was headed to bed, so we had woken up for a bit realizing that the scary part and our frayed nerves problem was over.  We followed him to bed easily and massaged him for a few moments before falling asleep next to him.  After that the night was peaceful.

Usually we don't have this much difficulty, but without medicine on time we're fairly useless.  We still have to get past the part of his brother wanting to do fireworks on Saturday with us, his kids, and grandson, but we don't want to stay for that part.  Usually, we avoid it (he does it every year).  Then we're going to hear the fireworks again ... basically Sandwich does there's on Sunday with some other outdoor activities.  Maybe we'll remember this time not to leave the house without the medicine *hmpf*

That was pretty much it for the evening.  This morning we woke up about 45 minutes before Rich and spent some time out in the sunroom just checking up on things online.  We were a little bouncy again waiting for the medicine and it was very noisy out there like living in a bird sanctuary.  I do like the light and coolness of the room in the morning and again we did talk to Linda for a little bit.  We have another bird's nest in a corner of the back porch eve.  We'd seen it yesterday when we were outside mowing.  I think that there might be babies in the nest from their aggressive movements yesterday when we needed to rest in the area.  We watched too birds flying in and out of the corner both when we were out there yesterday and from within the sunroom - AND the kitties are interested in the corner ... and that's the same thing that happened with the bird's nest out front.

Yesterday during the day we did pretty good.  His brother stopped over a few times before and after going to his mothers and we talked about things that were lighter.  His brother did get in some good visiting yesterday.  He went to see his mother, AND he went to see their father, AND he went to see Bud.  His mother was cranky, and he said his father was a little more sociable then he sometimes is.  He is a recovered alcoholic and Rich became estranged from him back about 40 years ago.  Mark tries to see him once or twice a year.  They say that Mark and his father look very closely like each other.  He remarried all those years ago and between him and Bud Rich has about 10 step-siblings.  He said that he and his brother got the least attention of the group - partly because they were older and the attention went from his parents to getting the new families orientated into their lives.  Rich's father is still married and has very bad arthritis, but there wasn't a whole lot of information going on there.  Mark was able to put together a few stories, but they were slim pickings.

Bud seems to be doing better than Mark had thought and Rich will see him today when he's out doing some other business.  From what Freddy (one of Bud's kids) say, he's not made any real improvements over speech or movement than prior to him having gone in.  Karen his daughter thinks he has made improvements, but she just lost her husband a couple of weeks prior, so maybe it is as much as she can tolerate.  I haven't seen her for a while.  Bud seems to be very cooperative with the nursing staff and is doing everything they are asking him to do.  Much of it is watching news and having conversations so to get him back to thinking in today's terms.  He still will prefer to talk about things happening 50 years ago, but he's been bent toward that with Rich's mom all along.

Anyway as to our day ... we talked with Rich and Mark and we sewed half an easy big blanket that we should finish today.  We worked on it while Rich was working on housings and watching fishing shows.  We on the other hand was listening to our mellow music.

At about 1:30 pm, we had gotten to the part about putting together the rows.  The quilt is only 24 pieces (6 x 4 squares) so again ... very long seams, but not too much to fitting it together.  It's a little trickier because it is all stretchy fabric.  I think it's knit.  So since we were at the cross roads and knew that Rich wanted to do some lawn work at 2 pm, we talked to him for a few moments and then went out to do it before he'd finished the hand work.  We are back to being his line supervisor which means that he gives us a few moments warning, but we are the one switching pails and pans and filling them in with water to soak.  It's not a really bad thing - just a break in whatever we are doing every half hour or so.  It's helpful to Rich so we are thinking it's ok.

This time though we decided to start on the line before he finished.  We had gotten done with one side and have the other backside, when he came out to weed wack.  We heard him starting as we were taking a break and talking to Don the neighbor to the south.  He seems like a nice guy ... but got a little competitive and decided to mow his grass again.  He's doing his and had been doing the old neighbor's Diane about twice a week.  Same with Joe doing his yard and the other neighbor leaving - Debby.  Don had helped Diane pack and move out with only one other helper - like from morning to midnight last Saturday.  He had been close with her.  The new people have moved in Sunday and had a little party over there yesterday with probably one of their siblings and parents.  There were a couple of kids and we think the youngest toddler is theirs.  I think the other girl is about 6-7.  She can ride a bike.  We don't know much about them, but he smokes, and she makes him smoke outside hehehe.  Seem like nice people ... it was nice to see outdoor activity as someone was playing with the kids.  They seem to watch them pretty close and they seem to enjoy being out on the porch ... so that's a little more fun than not and more neighbor friendly.

We would like to introduce ourselves to them because we are remembering how it is just moving in.  I don't know what to give them, but I would like to give them something.  I just don't bake cookies, you know?  A case of beer might be friendly, but that would send out the wrong message.  Not sure yet.  Maybe we can get something that is bird orientated?  They must hear the birds too.  Not sure though what's in their back yard.  Thinking it's pretty small.

Going back to Don, he indicated that he was still looking for a beer with Rich.  After a bit we had finished the back part and had gone back to finish the front part.  That took a bit of sitting and standing, but when we got done we'd realized that Don HAD found Rich and they had both finished their beers and were talking about both being high school wrestlers.  Rich had finished the weed whacking and was doing something about that bunch of weeds we have in the back.  He had to get down on his hands and knees and pull which is something we can't do.  He didn't finish, but stated he would do some of that work today between things.  We had felt pretty good about our accomplishments.  We'd gotten really tired in-between things and VERY hot.  We drank four bottles of water.  One of the things that had helped was that we are drinking two bottles at a time which means when we aren't drinking one goes in each of the two front pockets of our shorts, which help to keep us cooler, and makes the water more available if we stop to rest in the front or back...  AHA!  Good thinking!

Don was in 7th heaven talking to Rich ... we notice the same thing when he's talking to Joe (who doesn't drink beers).  Basically, he's just a friendly guy that likes chatting with his neighbors.  I'm thinking that the younger couple that just moved in won't be doing much with him, but was glad to hear he was helping another neighbor 3 houses down because he'd been through a groin surgery.  There are just a few nice people around here like that and its nice to know.  Both Rich and I spend talking time to people around here, but mostly it's been just the closest neighbors.  We both like the idea of being in a small community.  It be better if we could walk around so we could meet more neighbors.  Still thinking we'd have to use our walker, especially if we found someone we'd like to talk to.  I think most people are out though only when getting in and out of their homes, and when out doing their lawn.  We did see one neighbor that does a hell of a lot with her garden ... imagining it has to be a her with that much work done ... I'd like to meet her at some point and pick up some hints so our place looks better.  Obviously, pulling weeds will help.

Ok, round about a conversation there.

We talked to Rich a few moments about his schedule.  He has some things out of the house to be doing today which might even include filling out some paperwork for a physical therapist.  Naturally, he has to see his mother and he's going to see Bud too.  He's talking to his brother now about coordinating schedules with their mother.  I think he's going to be gone between noon and 6:30 pm.

Probably a good time to jump in the shower.  Not sure if i mentioned it though, but we're going to Carol's tonight.  That means that I have to do some coordinating getting out of here today.  I think we're going to take a shower next, and then do the cat litter/garbage, pick-up anything that is around and then?  Hmm, it's 9:30 am now ... maybe eat a late breakfast.

Oh wait I forgot something.  Yesterday I called my sister and mother.  My sister had all but 5 teeth pulled this week and was in a pretty drugged up stupor so we just said we'd call back later.  My mother's conversation was good.  Basically, I have a little better orientation to her world from having been there, so I can ask better questions as to what she's doing or what's up with who.  She's also interested in a few things around here, especially the progress or lack thereof of Rich's mother.  She was nice enough to state that if Rich wanted to call and talk to her about it she'd be open for that kind of conversation.  And, she is a little more interested in the quilting.  She still has a hard time asking questions, because she'd rather turn things back to a conversation she's directly had experience with, but she seemed pretty pleased to have had the conversation.  I had to laugh .. it was a long call and we had run her through as much as was on her mind, so she said in ending that we'd pretty much talked about everything that needed to be talked about ... the funny part was that it was a statement also that my grandmother used to make.

Hmm, just gave Rich the number to the parking garage at Dr. Marvin's.  They double charged us.  It was a new person ... hoping it was a mistake rather than they were trying to take advantage of us.  He'll clear it up ... He's real good about that kind of stuff.

So in thinking once more about what we're doing ... bathroom, shower, make bed, do litter box/garbage, pick-up or straighten anything loose, eat breakfast ... and now thinking we should vacuum the sunroom, and then?  I suppose it will be time to sew!  We will leave for Carol's at 3:45 pm.  Might be 3-4 hours sewing first then.  We had five church quilts and have finished 1 1/2.  Thinking we might get a couple more quilts finished today if we're sewing with Carol tonight.  It will be nice talking to her again.  We were out all June due to obligations of or or both of us.  She's since gotten her 16 foot trailer/home and has taken to the open road.  I will look forward to hearing how all that has gone.

Hmm, thinking then we're all good :)

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