Friday, July 19th, 2013 @ 11:17 am
5.0 out of 5 stars This book (After Sybil...From the Letters of Shirley Mason) is a great gift to the multiple community and more..., July 19, 2013
By Aynetal3 - See all my reviews
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This review is from: After Sybil...From the Letters of Shirley Mason (Kindle Edition)
We liked After Sybil by Nancy Preston because it seemed very real to us. We are also a multiple though I wouldn't say we were integrated like Shirley Mason (Sybil). We do communicate fairly well between us and that has been our goal. I thought that Ms Preston did a good job at keeping the new information through Shirley's letters very accurate by posting portions of the letters themselves. I also enjoyed her personal insights as to how she felt Shirley was doing between the lines. The thoughts were very realistic in a manner of getting by day to day and month to month. I could perceive the friendship as one of checking in with one another and supporting through care and concern. I was also reminded about how in the past letters communicated for us real life rather than today's quicker facebook, email or communicating through a blog. It left a good feeling to think of people catching up, or in giving one another calls or visits. It really did mean sitting down and summarizing experiences and questions to be in touch with one another through love, attention, and devotion. In Nancy and Shirley's communications the relationship is stretched comfortably for about 28 years. There is no pretense.
There is another dimension in the relationship because eventually Shirley shared with Nancy her more well-known side - that of being Sybil. I think all of us are multiples at some point come to the question is it ok to share this other "sets of identity?" In Shirley's case she was presenting at that point as someone who was integrated, but she gave so much in allowing the knowledge of her past be known that it must have come as a shock to Nancy to know the reality of her life, but she continued to give Shirley a well-deserved sense of normalcy. She found what we all look for through Nancy - Acceptance and validation. The afterward of her life took on other aspects that were interesting in itself in Shirley's support of herself and to support Dr. Wilbur. Through all her hardship she continued to give like nobodies business! And she did so unflinchingly even after her cancer had spread. In itself it took a lot of stamina to be Shirley/Sybil and she did it in a manner very respectful of her notoriety. She simply told her story (with Dr. Wilbur and Flora) and then stepped back ... The media and public aggrandized it, but not she. Sybil was in touch with being a natural giver through her art, communications and care giving to Dr. Wilbur, Nancy and others such as her family and students and patrons.
I feel proud to know her though this story ... and I feel proud to know Nancy and her protectiveness and good sense caring over Shirley. I think Nancy did Shirley and humanity a great service in communicating the letters at a time they could be most helpful - in after analysis. Such a gift to the multiple community and extending outward will ever be appreciated. Thanks Nancy!
WooHOO!!! I got the review done and posted at Amazon. I felt it was an important book to do and I fully support what Nancy Preston has done in writing about her relationship with Shirley through notes, phone calls and personal visits. I think the review stands on its own!
Now ... what's happening in regular life hehehe. It is already Friday so about 5 days since we last wrote and it seems like a nice handful of stuff has happened in the meantime - ESPECIALLY ... BECAUSE IT WAS OUR BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY!!!
Ok, I know I know ... it's already over ... BUT we want to talk about it some because it's part of what makes turning older so much more than just another number on the cake.
First part? Ok, we're a multiple so the first thing we get to talk about is GIFTS! WooHOO! We did really well this year!
My mother had gien Rich back the money for having paid for our own hotel room while we were staying over three nights in MN, so with that he was able to do a little more this year.
The first thing we got was a brand new television for the bedroom. I don't know, but thinking we might have told you it was going to happen during the last post, but by now it's happened AND is all plugged in and ever ready for viewing. The first night was the most exciting. We had to check out the theories we'd put up in getting a tv in the bedroom. Basically, there's this part then where Rich is watching his last show or two of the evening (still trying to unwind) and then our part is to spoon him and give him the greatest body messages! Oh yeah ... that's how we roll! It worked PERFECTLY!
We stayed up for about an hour and a half massaging him and we're not going into all the details, but lets just claim that an excellent evening!
Now Rich is on vacation - he left Wednesday morning by us driving him to meet Bob in Dekalb and he is due back on Sunday - so nice 5 day vacation for the both of us. We really did celebrate before he left, but he had to take some grief for not remembering it was my birthday when he called yesterday ... We're thinking too much of a good thing for him! Might not be so generous next time I give away our birthday for fishing. BUT, as mentioned we really did make it a time before him leaving. One of the things was that he told me we were getting three gifts. He said we were getting the tv, a blender, AND some new bath towels. Well part of that was good and part not good. We liked the TV idea and it had been on the top of our lists, AND we liked the blender because that was on our list too, but we also wanted a food processor - AND not so much towels. We had just gotten new ones as a home welcoming gift from our sewing sisters and we thought we didn't have enough fun to play with. That's ESSENTIAL on a good birthday!
So we voiced our opinions and Rich didn't complain when we started online shopping for a blender/processor combination. It took us about 4 hours to go through. What we eventually ordered and it came in yesterday on our birthday was the big Ninja package with 72 oz blender, 56 oz bowl for processor AND two individual cups and accessories to make all that work. WooHOO! Just in heaven there. We tried it out last night and it worked REALLY well! We made ourselves a Margarita WITH diet lemonade and it turns out great just using 3-4 quick pulses. It's REALLY fast! Today we're going to try making a slurpee from regular diet pop to see how that goes. Hmm, actually it's just past 11:30 am so we could do that now! BRB.
AHA! Back I think what we find is that if you add just a TINY bit of alcohol then the ice is better grounded. Maybe maybe not. But just saying SOOO far! It has a slushier consistency. We might have to take a trip to the liquor store just not sure where that's at ... do they still have liquor at Walgreens? Maybe I have to go down the main drag. Rich has something like whisky with a cinnamon/apple flavor that makes diet coke really good. Pretty sure Rich doesn't want to come home to a lush though ... we will think that one out some more. Nice drink though! MOSTLY pop! We did get past the question if you can blend something with fizzy pop. I guess after the initial fizz it doesn't repopulate - we're all good with that.
ANYWAY ... that's that for now.
I know we talked about the other gift which was a matching set of books between us and Austin. We have a picture Laura sent us after Austin got the book on Wednesday. He looked pretty happy. We've skimmed through a few charts and such on our book that came in yesterday ON OUR birthday! It's a really well-thought out book and meant for people really smart - AND just normal smart. That's really nice ... it's the first of its kind I've seen where they explain the charts and things like bell curve and standard deviation. That will be perfect for Austin. It's for people who know AND don't know statistics. He's a smart kid and will figure it out :)
Another gift we got yesterday was from Maury and his family ... I got a Tom Tom GPS for the car. I have one on the phone, but its been a long standing complaint with Maury that I can't answer the phone while driving. I can actually, but then I don't know where to drive or turn. It was a VERY well-thought out gift and we tried it right away. I liked some of the stuff it did the first time ... like showing me by close-up of blinking arrows which lanes I had to be in and which signs to follow - another close-up. It is also a nice size so it doesn't take up too much window space. Maury placed it for us on our dash. Good kid! It took us straight home though by a different path than we were used to. It worked!
Joe called last week so he got by - though none of the kids wished me happy birthday on Facebook. We were looking for that ... none of the DILs did either, but BOTH Mike and Laura our lifelike kids said happy birthday with FB. FB became anyway another kind of birthday gift which we look forward to every year. Over a hundred people said happy birthday and we went over one by one reading and feeling so happy with all the acknowledgements. It was REALLY a great birthday!
It was true that Rich wasn't here, but he'd given so many gifts that it was like he was all around us. I am sorry he didn't catch as many fish as he wanted, but today starts the real tournament and I knew they were getting out at 4 am. We're hoping he has a great day today.
One of the other things was that not only Maury and Nikki and the girls had us over for BBQ and ice cream cake yesterday, but Rich also took us out on Tuesday night. We had vegetable burritos AND cinnamon crisp. We packed away a few of the cinnamon treats to drop off at Rich's moms the day after. That was good thinking. We also had a pitcher of Margaritas ... umm that might have led to a sleepy night ... At ONE point I'm sure we did drinking better with less exhaustion, but it still was a good night to the end!
We have one more birthday surprise. When we meet with our sewing sisters in about 2 weeks, we will share a birthday party with gifts and cake. The sharing part includes that Jean, Janet and Me all celebrate our birthdays together. Then in February CS, Linda and Emily celebrate together. It works out great! It's always a special treat! I'm thinkin it would be great to give the twins a GPS, but it is too expensive AND I think they have the service on their phones. BUT something will come up that we can give them. Just have to be putting it at the forefront so we can have something on time. I wish I could do like Linda because she makes cool things, but we're not really that able. You can be PRETTY sure it will be something Quilting :) Maybe I could find something to do with organization. It seems like their worse problem is having enough space. Hmm, that's worth a thought!
Hmm, just looked at a storage system on wheels ... I'd like to get that ... it's a little expensive, but half price with free shipping at Joanns. Just we don't know where our credit card is ... we forgot that part so makes the point mute. We didn't have it yesterday when we went to the pharmacy so just got the medicine we could pay in cash, but we also don't know where our old drivers licence was and she wouldn't let us have the medicine without it. I think within a couple of days we're going to be climbing a wall without the Risperidone. We have extra of the others to last until we talk to Dr. Marvin or at least given the time to get back in there after having found the license. The woman had no empathy at all - cold as a brick. BLAH! She made our idiot list of the day yesterday. It wasn't her fault we lost the id's again, but they know us - just she's new so she's an idiot for not getting us someone who could vouch for us.
ANYWAY ... I guess that could segue into this week's appointments with Dr Marvin. We went in our regular time on Tuesday and Thursday.
There we just wrote a note to Dr. Marvin ... figure if we're going to go crazy without the medicine ... he should be in the know. Don't think there is anything he can do except to talk to us about keeping the cards safe - from ourselves ... multiple parts multiple places to put things. GRRRRRR...
best to move on....
There we made popcorn and cleaned up the kitchen and made ourselves another icee. All good deeds.
So as to Dr. Marvin. I think primarily he heard the excitement around the birthday, but there were other parts out as well. One of our birthday treats is to shake his hand ... it comes up once a year on birthdays and then at Christmas. We didn't do so good with it this year ... it made us feel terrible. Sometimes it makes us giddy and happy, just not this year ... It made us worried, even though it was a short shake. It was on the way out of his office on Thursday so we'll probably go over it on Tuesday.
We cleared up some business from the times before, but we're not sure at this point about what. Pretty sure we told him again that Rich was out of town. He was told our mother called yesterday but was abrupt and no more than 5 minutes. She sang 1/3 to 1/2 birthday song and then excused herself. Then she talked about another "dear friend" of hers who died. She went into all the details about his wife. Then she said - that's all goodbye. I didn't understand the exit unless someone came in or something. I didn't hear it but it left a bad taste. There wasn't much more to add to that ...
I think one of the main things that we wanted to get to is some work with time spent to do our various activities. Kate was out toward the end and working through how to manage by giving like half days to one project or another. Like today at least half the time would go to writing - though a good portion of the morning went to just settling down. We're not understanding that part fully, but it takes a while to go through facebook and emails first thing. That seems like a regular problem. I think there is still problems because we're not real comfortable having to schedule time for later because everyone wants to do their tasks first. Today i think I/we writers are getting time because yesterday was a big event (birthday) and because we haven't written since Sunday. One of the things that Dr. Marvin said was it was instrumental that we keep doing our cleaning chores too. And that AFTER that or around it we could do some of our other things.
Hmm, maybe now (bathroom) should also start a load of laundry and make the bed? WHAT?!! Shower too!?? Well maybe ... my 1 pm medicine alarm went off ok, but it will be quick!
There got that set of things done ... shoot forgot though should have done litter/garbage and medicine. I guess that will be the next up. Cleaned up the bedroom and living room, took our shower and got dressed. Good girl!
It's now 1:25 pm.
Hmm, now 1:57 pm. Just talked to Linda ... she and Tony are looking at SUVs. Could be exciting!
Maybe I should take the medicine ... and what else? Oh litter and garbage brb.
Good good ... litter, garbage, medicine ALL done including bringing out tv and blender boxes from our birthday. Place is looking better and better all the time. Linda is gone for some indefinite amount of time so we're not worrying too much about schedules today. I know we want to continue writing and then we'd like to work on the school backpacks. So far we have 10 of the 42 complete. Could do another dozen today :)
Back to Dr. Marvin though. I think what we've been trying to do for the last couple of sessions is to figure out where we're going with our work on dissociation. Yesterday when we were waiting for medicine she wouldn't give us ... grrrr, we were reading again from the book "Getting things done." I think there is some order to things ... the part they were saying is to basically have the objective first ... so we know what we want to get done and then there is the plans he's trying to implant ... we're not to that part yet. He talks about open loops ... like thoughts and tasks and such that aren't complete yet because of on thing or another. Like I could say this entry isn't complete so it is an open loop. If I said we are going to write until 4 pm, then I would have closed the loop ... each point has to have a start and end point with usually the means to address the issue worked through. He also talks about working in the zone. So it is like no obstacles are left undone to interrupt the flow of thought. I took out the garbage and now my fly is mad ... but in a writing mode he's not interrupt-like to the degree he becomes part of the story being told, but since I don't want to write about a fly - I need to complete that loop - shoot ... just checked old owners did not leave fly swatter in utility room as hoped. BUT, now I know ... so in an in basket - one on shopping, I can put purchase flyswatter. That will close the loop for the time being. Depending how disruptive the fly becomes will let me know how fast he zooms to the head of the priority list. Secondarily ... we'll use a magazine! Zippy little fly, but I can chase him down if necessary. First part though was to get out the litter box and garbage. Point in our favor :)
ok, maybe not too much into Dr. Marvin thoughts yet. But, we're getting there. I can take his point of generally scheduling in time so that everyone gets things done. Today it was put things in order, write, and then sew. Oh yeah and pick-up the house and become presentable. If we broke our schedule to morning, afternoon, and evening, then we could take three major "projects" a day. That sounds more reasonable. Today it was organize morning, write afternoon and sew evening. When Rich is here we don't always feel we have the option to sew at night because he would like our time. Spending time with Sir Sweetie Pie is a stated priority for us too ... so that would have to be taken in consideration. Also there are bigger overall projects - like with the multiplicity that are going to take time slots too. Especially, at this point in reading blogs.
That's the thing with Dr. Marvin. We tried to understand better our desire to do something in the multiple community that makes a difference. I liked that we've gathered the blogs. I think it is though a waste unless something is done with them. I am also aware that it became so much that it bogged the system down - Partially, because after we read the blogs, we wanted to not only cull them, we wanted to analyze and as Dr. Marvin said some part of our effort should go into synthesizing. I think his point there was that we should be able because of our ability to "figure things out" make use of the data and re-purpose it so that it might help someone else - I would think in understanding multiplicity.
Maybe that's really the brunt of the point we're getting to yet. Part of the difficulty here is that we don't necessarily have a plan where we can "EASILY" convert input with output. We've tried a few things and now we have to sort out what was working and what wasn't.
I think the Diigo was working to some degree ... I liked that quotes were being curated and that they were easy to read through. Maybe I should test that out again and see how we do with it. I know that part of the enjoyment was in reading the work of other multiples to basically see where they were at and whether or not they were learning things about themselves as systems to help the general group. Maybe too we were looking for common denominators. Those were like basic things that came up with one or more that seemed to validify somewhere in our own head how things work for multiples or the trends in our thinking and abilities and how we handle the "disorder." Maybe too that some of it could be considered supreme order in a different facet of human development and then in that case, we'd want to know more about how that works. I like thinking that what happened to us in extreme conditions kick-started us to some kind of higher level thinking that can be productive though not always.
I think part of the getting overwhelmed before was the influx of knowledge and not being able to sort it properly. We tried using the mindmaps and outlines, but we lost ourselves in there at some point and wasn't sure what all happened, but we as a system closed down on the project. Maybe too it was bumped by other priorities. I think that about the time we were working on it up into October last year, we got bumped by those trying to get out Christmas presents - especially the quilting, and then that got bumped in January, by Rich's thoughts on moving which necessitated a flood toward financing and finding a new house, and then in the moving and then in the settling down by not only getting our things in order within the house, but also our taking care of household and lawn and establishing ourselves in a quilting community.
From where Dr. Marvin and I are thinking that that phase is really now coming to an end. We are in better shape with all the above and other than the current blip in getting back to writing AND keeping up with household, we are in pretty good shape. Some of the stuff we were spending energy on before, doesn't need attention anymore. ESPECIALLY - in the finding of the church quilting, Quilting with Carol, and quilting with our quilting sisters. We still get camaraderie too with FB and keeping in touch with emails. Another big part of our socialization needs are met through the relationships with Rich, Linda, the boys and their families, and of course Dr. Marvin. It would be nice if we were better with neighbors, but lately its gotten too hot to want to be outdoors where they are at. Rich did remind us that our flowers would need watering and we did get dressed today so COULD do it, but I believe they are really supposed to be watered in the morning. Maybe we could set a goal for tomorrow to be showered and dressed by 7 am, and then go out at that time. They are taking in a lot of sun - even though it did rain once last week. Ok, that catches us up on garden Goddess? Hmm, one more thing ... we should arrange another time with Don to do the lawn ... we can't afford doing it more than once a week, and even that it will be even-up with Rich doing housings. No profit. BUT, it will help us get past our dilemma in putting up with the heat out there. Right now it is 2:40 pm and it is 92 degrees out there. We would also like Don to try our lawnmower thinking it would cut the grass more evenly and it could all be done with one pass through, I don't think his electric mower made it through without him coming back later. He shouldn't have to pay the cost. Just have to run into him to set it up ... at least temporarily until Rich comes back and takes it over.
Hmm, I wonder if I should try to contact CS ... she left a message last night after most things were done - while I was talking to Rich. She mentioned that it is difficult for her to communicate with her present dental problems/solutions. Not sure what to do there, but since its our writing time ... we'll put that off for now.
Hmm says that there is 50% chance of thunderstorms yet today, but that it is clear right now ... better look at doppler. ahh isolated thunderstorms about 9 pm tonight ... better remember to shut the sunroom windows. It also says that it feels like 99 out there. I know that other states/cities have it worse, but definitely indoor weather!
AHA! Just took a few moments to update some pictures on FB. I hadn't made an entry yet today ... better change load of clothes in washer too, brb.
Whoops had forgotten a load in the dryer and had to reheat that ... moving along though. Now we're trying sprite put through the ninja ... I like it on the counter in easy reach ability! Good stuff. AND, we checked the mail ... nothing real important there.
Can we go back to Dr. Marvin's? Where did we leave off with our interests in multiplicity. I do recall that we were going to try checking out the Diigo. Maybe we should run that one through for a few seconds now and see how it fits.
Ok, been there done that! We read just five blogs, but then decided to wait for the next set. The thinking is that maybe if we don't overwhelm ourselves we can make do. AHA! We came to this new place in our minds. We figured even though we only read five today that we would post what we have ... If we read five more today - we'd just post that too! Like does it matter if we can't run 40-80 in a day or two? Naw. Let's take it at its own pace ... Looking mostly not to get overwhelmed again. Maybe if we work on just this part the rest of this month, then we can work on the next part - analysis and synthesis after that!
Ok, girl ... one more dryer load to fold (whites) and then we'll head toward the sewing room. It's about 6:30 pm now and is officially counting toward the evening. Feeling good AND we took care of ALL household today - well except floors ... maybe we'll do that on Sunday before fishyman gets home :)
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