Thursday, September 7, 2013 @ 2:33 pm
Afternoon! We're not sure if this is going to be a short post or a long one. I don't usually write in the afternoon and we had Dr. Marvin today so might find ourselves a little tired down the line, BUT Rich just left this morning for fishing so we've got time to spare ... so we'll see.
We just finished re-reading yesterday's post and we put it on the blog. I'm really happy in that it showed there were about 400 readers/page turns since the last entry and about 110 for the NEWS DID/MPD Blog. Sweet! Hope that means people are looking at the writing other than advertisement for cab rides in Mongolia!
AHA! Some clarity here - it IS PAGEVIEWS
This is the number for all time
This is the number for the month
This is the number for the week
This is the numbers for the day :)
WOW! Never posted it like this before. PLEASE if anyone out there reading this would like to drop a note saying hello, I would just love that! I really didn't know I was read in so many different countries. It is really an honor. :)
I know I'm going to need moving on so the bubble inside my head doesn't burst of pride. Yup yup ... we go there.
I hope that people reading the blog find something of interest ... we're excited to be writing frequently and for the most part (apologetically) we just get lost in processing our own thoughts. Today won't be much different.
If I were to catch you up, I would start from dinner last night. Rich took us out and we ate at a restaurant called Star 34. It's nothing fancy ... just a local diner - no drinks, but we did stop by at the grocery store on the way home and we got a bottle of Margarita mix and some lemonade. Both go in our blended Margarita. We also stopped for a small container of gas for the lawn mower so I can mow when Rich is gone, and I asked and Rich complied with taking me over toward the fair to show me where it was, how to get there, and where to park for disability. YAY!!!! Again, if you read yesterday's entry, Maury, Nikki and kids won't be coming, but we're going to try going on our own. It's a 48 hour cancellation and I'm pretty sure we're over that now. We're planning on going on Saturday - Day after tomorrow.
I think I've written enough about that for now though it did come up with Dr. Marvin. He's excited for me going even if it meant going on our own ... I had to be honest in saying that I would probably have liked to see different things then Maury's family. I'm much more interested in the "flavor" of the fair," some good people watching, resting and relaxing in little corners with a drink in hand, and also looking at things in the home art buildings. Yes, Certainly there will be quilts!
In that respect the guild we belong to named AFTER the fair is the "Fair City Quilters, and they will be meeting on the 16th after a long rest during the summer and I'm looking forward to that. I'm really hoping it is going to be one of our days that we can get out of the house. It's always iffy. I do want to hear all their comments about being at the fair. It surely is going to be a big buzz, and it IS the first meeting of the year so will look forward to following it through. I won't have any quilts to show, but not everyone does. It will be ok. :)
I think we have to put the fair talk behind us now for a little bit. I'm a little overloaded with it and it's during the lull part of the day where we're just here to rest and recall how time has been treating us. Hmm, maybe a little changeover too in that we brought dishes from here to the kitchen and decided to eat a part of an early dinner. Rich made some chili mac among other things. It's usually the first thing we eat when he goes away :) It reminds us that we're well taken care of. We also got a fresh bottle of water and seemed to have picked up a kitty along the way. He's sitting on the foot rest ... not sure why though. It's not like I'm eating a party favorite like ice cream! Let it go :)
Let's go back to last night for a few moments. We did all the above, then we came home and Rich had to do some work on the boat. SOOO I came in and made a Margarita, and then took a shower. After that, we got out the steam and gave it a run for its money. Well sorta ... we did get three of Rich's fishing shirts steamed though. About then Rich came in ... He looked tired, but came in to do his packing. We of course supervised, which means we were quiet when Rich counted out each variety of clothing. He had a stack, but put in about three of everything for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. He wheeled the bag to the back door and that's about when he remembered he hadn't made me anything to eat while he was gone. So we made him a Margarita too and watched him cook for about 45 minutes. He made the chili mac, and he made a leftover roast/noodle/gravy dish. There's plenty of food to go along and we had brought home a half fish sandwich from the restaurant ... noone EVER starves when Rich is gone :)
THEN we got to the mush part. We laid in bed massaging him for about an hour, before we fell soundly to sleep. We set both phone alarms. His was a new phone so he wanted to be assured he'd wake up in time. His woke him up at 3:27 am, and mine went off at 3:30 am. Mine was closer so I heard that, AND we heard when ours went off that Rich was making coffee in the other room. YAY!!!
We got to talk a little bit, but mostly he was just getting ready ... He was then outside at 4:15 am until the time he left. He was out there so that his partner didn't miss the house. It's customary that the back-seater has to drive to the boat owner. They always go in pairs. He did come in to drop off his partner's keys and to give me a good smoochin. That's the part we look forward to!
After that we fell asleep with the computer on our lap until about 8 am. That was a long catch-up sleep. Thinking Rich is going to be REAL tired today - he didn't get the extra napping.
After that there wasn't a lot of time left ... we did everything we had to do to get out of here on time. We left a 9:05 am for Dr. Marvin's and we got there about an hour and a half later with 15 minutes to spare - just the way we like it! We caught up on our facebook/email while waiting and then walked over to Dr. Marvin's office.
He's always agreeable and almost always on time. He makes up for it when he's late, but today he was on time. We did five minutes on the billing. He didn't have much new information, but we had a few more letters to send in with the DHS stuff he's holding. I know that it is still UIC's fault that we're getting behind with Medicaid, and some idiot from the psych department sent our bill to the main hospital (from Dr. Marvin) and then kept the $500 I gave them (psych department), so the hospital side is sending our bill to collections. After collections Medicaid doesn't like to pay. I don't have a lot of respect for the female working in the psych billing department. I liked it when the guy stepped in who's ahead of her because he made the problems go away where this lady has just been going on and on not fixing things. Dr. Marvin said he'd talked to her again and have her send the $500 I paid over to the hospital billing because it is STILL going to psych, but will make it so that i get credited for my spenddown AND it will keep me out of collections. She's now officially an idiot. Seems that almost everyone I know is Carol and this lady is a Carol too. *sigh*
Hehehe was interupted by all the noise of licking! Cats were giving each other a bath in Rich's chair so we took our picture and sent it on to FB. Yup yup ... that's what the damn thing is for!
Oh oh ... we just got an email from one of our online accounts. This one is called Klout. I don't think it did what I expected. I think that all my FB connections got one of their advertisements, except it maybe happened twice. We'll have to wait and see if it isn't going to be a backlash. Whatever I think the program set out, I am really hoping it is minor and not annoying. Time will see. Klout is a program that rates your online influence. It's not real well known, but I learned about it from somewhere and I thought it was handy. It reminds me that we have an influence. Not a lot. We're at about the 49% range. We've gone up to 52, and the average for most people online is about 40. Eh it just is.
Ok, checked that out once more ... feel conspicuous ... I really think I sent out a chainmail. :( There's nothing about it though in my email and there is nothing stated in FB. We can get past this right?
Ok, why don't we try going back to Dr. Marvin? We did see him today for an hour. As stated the first few minutes were to update on a stalemate with the billing. Then I think we talked about general things for 15-20 minutes, but that we were running close to out of things needed to be updated. This happens frequently after only seeing Dr. Marvin two days previously. He has forwarded me his updated fall schedule. Better post it here just to make sure I can find it. I don't THINK I've done this yet?
Here are the appointments for the next month or so….
Schedule for Dr. M’s Appointments
Tues, 9/3, 1:00pm
Thurs, 9/5 11:00am
Mon 9/9, 11:00am
Wed, 9/11 1:00pm
(Dr. Marvin off Sept 12, 13, 16)
Tues, 9/17, 1:00pm
Thurs, 9/19 11:00am
Tues, 9/24, 1:00pm
Thurs, 9/26 11:00am
Wed, 10/2 10:00am
Fri, 10/4 11:00am
Dr. Marvin Vacation Week
Dr. Marvin out Mon, Tues
Wed, 10/30, 1:00pm
Thurs, 10/31 11:00am
Hmm, just figured it out ... in 9 weeks - nearly 40% of my schedule is being disrupted. DRAT I hate when that happens. Most of the days he makes up the time on other days, but it is still a disruption and that sort of thing puts us out of sync. You know?
Ok, shhhh shhhh lets get on with it.
The biggest conversation to this point was going to the state fair and what we might expect there and from what we might expect from ourselves. We need to frame it in right so that we can handle it.
The next part of the conversation was discussing our work habits, and then the last part of the time was spent trying to increase our confidence in what we've proposed to do over this last month and a half with TheBrain. Our records show that we got it about August 13 and that's about the same time we got the unabridged Merriam-Webster online dictionary. Rich pointed out for us the other day that we've been on a spending spree. Not sure there ... maybe I should look? That be like the responsible thing?
OUCH! It comes to a total of $863.00 The extra costs include a lot of Amazon, The blender, the rug/hard floor cleaner, TheBRAIN program, and the dictionary, the quilting hotel and Rhapsody. I guess we've been on a spending spree. The bank slip only went back to July 15, 2013, but we added the blender which we knew about. I think that actually was on Rich's credit card, but we had earned it in that it WAS supposed to be his gift AND it was my mother's gift because she had paid the $240 on the hotel. I'm thinking there was another gift. Thinking blender, books, and ... something, and then the cleaner was a 4th thing. Not sure. AHHHH that was it ... we went back through the blog and realized we had gotten a TV set too and that WAS on Rich's bill, so we can say he fair and square bought us a HUGE birthday gift with that. Blender and the books would have been paid by my mother and for the record we got gifts from the sewing sisters, AND we got the Tom-tom from Maury and Nikki. That means since Rich/mother paid for the blender, we only spent $683 hmm, still thinking that was about closer to $700 over a two month period ... so instead of spending a budget of $200 a month, we spent more ... $108 (second two payments on the floor cleaner haven't been paid so that is $600/2 months = $300 per month instead of $200 per month. Guess we could REALLY do better, but at least we now know what happened officially to the money. Rich was saying we spent like $1000, but that would include the money he didn't REALLY pay for staying up north, the $300 he put into the TV AND the $275 for the blender set-up. SOOOO when you add his $600 to my $600 then we BOTH spent a total of $1200 for these last two months. I suppose that would be a good thing then to complain about. *sigh*
I'm not sure how we got into money, but it be a good time to get out.
Going back to Dr. Marvin ... the two conversations on work habits AND building confidence in the "multiple project" kind of go together. We had been doing things the last several days, but the extra time didn't get productively spent doing anything with the big project. Instead we got in the dr. appointments, spent time with facebook, wrote in our blog, and spent extra time with Rich before he left for the trip. Dr. Marvin is trying to tell us that all those things are ok and that they are good and important too. He also threw in that we'd been with our granddaughter two days AND that time included time spent with Maury, Nikki and Jade. PLUS, we talked to Thom and set-up a meeting for Joe tomorrow. PLUS we added the State fair. Ok, I guess when you say it like that other things ARE getting done too.
Hmm, maybe we had to hear that as an entire system somehow. The ones that do the work primarily with the multiplicity - directly, aren't feeling good about themselves with all the time going to everything else just mentioned. But it's the balance that is going to be worth while in the end. Basically, what good is a legacy left behind if we don't include, Rich, Dr. Marvin, the boys and grandchildren now? PLUS Linda and the other quilters. PLUS, I think he said we should include all the housework that was accomplished. this is our list.
hmm, maybe we listed that before ... or at least we listed the to do list in our blog, BUT now looking at the mind map - there are over 20 items in the garbage and that's because we did them all. Looked at the multiple blog and counted ... more on counting in a second. Basically we have 57 things left to do on our to-do list. AND we got 29 things done this last week. So if you add 57 and 29 things for the total master list before working, and then divide it by 29 ... you get - WOOHOO!!! We got a FULL 34% of the list accomplished! TRUE, we have to add more stuff to it now, but in general ... figuring we're doing pretty good after all! There WERE 86 things on the list to do. We didn't count the list of things for our routines, but that's a null point, since they have to be repeated every day. BLAH!
BUT to have done 34% of the list - most done before Jasmine got here? That was pretty damn good!. I know we still have to get back to the multiples work, but we're feeling better about ourselves and our productivity. That was part of the deal right? We had to put things on the mind map, and then process them. Doesn't make sense just to keep a list where things weren't being completed.
I just looked back and realized that we'd gone from Saturday to PRE-events, and then a very short post on Wednesday, but we didn't get a chance to talk about the weekend yet. It was a BEAUTY! We picked Jasmine up just after 3 pm. We were late because both Rich and us were trying to get things accomplished before the visit like housework, lawn, Rich's business, his mother and his fishing. There was a lot going on. His mother had started drinking again and was on her 3rd bottle for the one week home. She drank the first bottle, and then had some of the second and third before Rich threw them away. More of that in a minute. BUT, the bottom line was that we picked up Jasmine after talking to the family for a few moments. Rich was there, but Maury was working. It gave us a little bit of a comforting feeling to be handing over the reins. Meaning we were looking for information about taking care of Jasmine well.
Nikki had everything planned out as usual including packing Jasmine's bag. Jasmine was dressed strangely including a headband and heavy black glasses without any lens in them. I figure though she's 12 and she can dress however it pleases her AND gets by her mother hehehe. Mom's can be tough! We had planned on going out to see a movie, that Rich and I talked about on the way in, but then we were about half way back and Rich got a call from the fireman from Millington where his mother lives. She created a disaster though there really wasn't one. She told them she couldn't stand up and go back to her bedroom to lay down, but when they got there she was standing up. They helped her back to the room. Ambulance was there too. Both the fireman and the medic person talked to Rich. Rich's mother was saying she thought she had to go to the hospital, but neither the professional staff or Rich thought it was valid. All her vital signs were good, and the only thing wrong was that she was drinking. Rich told them he was on the way, but it would take a half hour yet. When he got back to town he dropped me and Jasmine off, and then went to see his mother.
It seemed not too long a time when he got back. He said she was drunk, yelling and screaming and being non-sensible and he said he wasn't going to put up with it. So he left. He told her you wanted to take care of yourself, it is up to you to do that. I don't think he was home for an hour before, she pushed the button again - like for her personal attendants to come pick-her-up. They called Rich again, but you can't keep calling paramedics without them eventually having to take the person in. Rich did not meet his mother at the hospital this time. He did call in and the nurses were getting a little charge out of it, but she was still screaming and yelling at her son, even though he wasn't there, because he didn't stay and take care of her. Rich figured he'd stay home - we had company, and he needed his mother to calm down again. He knows that the drinking affects her terribly and she was off in one of her moods just trying to seek attention. She slept through the night, and by the morning she wasn't happy, but had all kinds of new demands for Rich.
Rich talked to the nursing staff and the doctor and then between having guests and whatever - we were well able to take care of Jasmine and he'd ordered out a pizza which he stopped by to have. The doctor wanted to release them and there was some back and forth between the hospital, nursing home and Rich as to how it was going to be covered, the transition from one place to another, and how she was going to get to one place from another which was like 4-6 blocks away from each other.
Rich's mother gave him trouble the entire trip - though short, because he wasn't going to let her smoke in the car. She tried telling him she was going to put her legs out of the car like she had Bud, but somehow Rich avoided that. He says, she's acting like an eight year old, and when she couldn't get the smoke, she stomped her feet up and down on the ground.
I think she had a good reception when she got there at least to her satisfaction. People talked to her about being on her own and she told them like the hospital, nursing home, firemen and ambulance people that she just couldn't do it ... and I'm pretty sure that didn't include what she put Rich through including twice cleaning up her bowel movements she spread through the house because she didn't use her depends. She had again stopped eating, stayed drunk, and wouldn't get out of bed. She didn't take her medicine, and then somehow it was Rich's problem that she wasn't being taken care of after months and months of stating she was perfectly able to take care of herself. She made herself into a heroine for getting back to the nursing home, but by Wednesday she was telling people she wanted to go back home. She was also having a hard time understanding that Rich was going to go away for the weekend to fish. I'm pretty sure in her boat that constitutes abandonment of her. She's worked so hard at being a good drunk though she's alienated most people who might have cared. She just doesn't see why she isn't being treated better. In reality she is treated well, but she's worked out a scenario where she's queen and doesn't have to make reliable, reasonable or responsible decisions. That's pretty much it.
Rich came back home from the nursing home after Maury and Nikki had gotten out on the holiday. He said his mother said one smoke, then made it two, then some of the people she knew came out and then she had to have more. She didn't want Rich to leave. He did leave and he came home exhausted. Fortunately, Nikki and I had taken care of the sides and setting things out ... Rich was crabby I wasn't doing it the right way, but we teased him back. Maury had made the hot dogs and hamburgers on a grill he brought out to leave here for other events. Rich talked a little during dinner - pretty much just about his mother, and then afterward, people spread out. Jade finished a shower, did her homework, and then hung out in the sunroom with her phone, music and contacts. Jasmine hovered more, but spent time continuing the sewing projects we'll talk about in a minute. Maury had a draft he was going through with his fantasy team, and Nikki had brought her computer and was doing some work. When Jasmine pressed, we cut out some more fabric, and then very quickly taught Nikki how to do it. I think she was a little unnerved doing it in front of me, but she did fine, AND we were happy she completed the whole project.
I'd been doing my best to keep spaces cleared and assure that everyone had something to do or to talk to. I guess I feel that's my role as a hostess. It was a very nice night and I enjoyed all the activity and conversation. Maury wanted to stay later to get his people signed up and so they didn't leave until 10:30 pm. Everyone was tired, but I didn't really want to see them go. They are so much fun to be with. But, as all good things go, they finally had to leave - it was about 10:30 pm and they wouldn't get home on a school night until just before midnight. The girls had done everything to prepare, or at least as much as they could while being out here.
Now as to the time Jasmine was here, because Rich got tied-up with his mother, we went to Plan B which included the sewing. I had wanted to pick-up dinner and do the next to last load of clothes, but Jasmine can be pretty forceful as to moving along her schedule. I figured then it would be better to set her up then worry about the laundry sitting in the dryer and that turned out ok. We made sure that she helped with all the set-up except we wouldn't let her take the sewing machine out of the case because she didn't know how to handle it yet. It's just too easy to be a costly error.
For the next 1 1/2 hours we prepared things and for the most part we stuck to her side. She had wanted to make a purse for herself, but then found two fabrics that she liked so she decided the blue and yellow flower purse would be something she made for Isa and it would be a practice. She had also found a heavier canvas like white/cream fabric and that was going to be her purse. We followed through from one point to another. She did absolutely everything, except at the end the machine wasn't working around the heavier braided shoulder handle, so we waited til the next day to rethink it and then we just sewed around the hard part.
Jasmine did very very well. She did seem to deteriorate some as she was getting tired, and especially after her mother came the next day. Jasmine was acting well, and very polite, but then when Nikki got here, she started pressing things as to being over confident with her skills, argumentative, and very pushy of Nikki so she was saying mother do this, mother do that. I really wish she wouldn't have and I did bring it up that she was acting more able when she had to with me and that it was a very noticeable difference. I did like that she was so much calmer here, but also to Nikki's credit, I was giving Jasmine 100% attention. If she got to something that had to be repeated, I would make sure she could do it, and then I'd tell her I was going to be over here ... speaking of the desk 8 feet away. She seemed to do well with that. But, each choice I let her make, I made sure she understood the next step, I watched her until I was comfortable with her ability and then moved on.
It was harder after everyone got here, because she decided she knew how to do everything well enough to do without any supervision. She did seem to get through it, but the quality of her work lessened. Like we were having her put the pieces on the carpet and organize, and then using left and right hand had her picking up the pieces so that they would be in order. This was after both purses were done and she was starting to work on her own quilt. In the end she found fabric for two quilts. One had a dozen kid prints, and the second had dark purple and black pieces. On both the quilts, I decided to do the cutting at least until Nikki could take over. I was able to stay with her up to the part of having all 7 rows sewed of the kids' quilt, but she was not paying attention to the pinning of the rows, and then everyone came. At that point, she decided she knew what to do, but didn't. I felt bad to not have been able to finish that step with here, but by then she would rather rush through than to do it properly. So as I was taking care of guests, she sewed the pairs together of the purple in black before they were all cut, and then she didn't place them out, and she didn't sew them carefully together.
I did though teach Nikki how to pin the rows together. Jasmine took it as a dis that I was telling her mother she didn't know how to do it, she thought she did, but didn't. And, then as it turned out Jasmine held up a row she did to prove she could, but then we showed Nikki the gaping hole and said this is what I meant by her not being able to do it. I said she would be able, she just needed more time because that step got rushed and we didn't have time to practice it with her. Nikki of course understood the project and her daughter. I knew they'd work out the next part, AND they both were there to thread the machine and bobbin before they left and they both saw how to take down the sewing machine and pack it. I hope Nikki can hold Jasmine back from ruining the machine, just don't know if that will happen. I think Jasmine will do to her mother like she did after her mother got here. As I got busy with the party (like Nikki getting busy in having a family of 6), Jasmine will go ahead and do as she pleases. I don't want to be critical of her because I found so many good things, but this one about rushing others I knew ahead that it was coming. I just felt helpless when it did. I didn't want to discourage her from using the machine unattended, and I felt I couldn't keep up with everything. Maybe the better way would have been to pack it up, but I figured that some of my attention was better than none.
I think where we excelled was in teaching Nikki a little about cutting and about pinning. I'd love to spend more time with her and the machine, but time is tough ... when the kids are at school she really has to be working. I do think that Nikki is very able and very independent in figuring things out. I know if she gives herself SOME time with the machine (without letting Jasmine be considered the expert), she will gain some control over the situation. I think some things are just hard when you have to share a Mom. There's so much to be done in any working family.
If I could do it all over again ... I'd definitely have Jasmine back. Giving her so much good attention felt very good. I felt I've not given her enough attention one on one in the past and this is definitely how to build the better relationship. As Nikki stated, she does very well with one on one. I was a little confused in that on the car ride here, she pretty much disappeared into her music/earphone. I guess we needed time to test each other's water and as it turned out Rich really needed me to be getting through the turmoil his mother was causing. Jasmine does best when not competing for attention, but maybe too this is why that part has to be worked on as well. Every time you get with a new person is time well-spent. Each time it is our responsibility to make the event that much more workable. Feel good about this with all the grandchildren.
That was pretty much that of that.
By the time Rich and I turned ourselves to bed ... like maybe we let them get to the corner hehehe, well we were both pretty achy tired. I want to build up though where I can be taking "sets" of two girls, and then all four together, but we're going to give ourselves a year with that goal. It's one thing learning about them all individually, but together there is just auto-tension. We'll see we'll see. The next one is Austin NEXT weekend, and then we have the weekend of the 21rst, but that's also a sewing with the church AND guild week, so I might decide not to schedule that week. The following weekend I believe Rich is going fishing again, and then the first weekend in October we'll be going to the quilting.
That was something that Jasmine brought up unexpectedly with her mother and us, in as far as she thought she would like to go to the quilting group with us. I thought at first wonderful! Can we do it!?? But, then Rich has us slowing down a bit. And, now even after seeing attention split between myself and Jasmine, it probably isn't the best time yet. We will work consciously (out loud) with her on being able to work and be patient when my time with her is split. I think this really has to be an out loud conversation, because I'm sure Jasmine CAN Understand though it will take time for her to gain trust of me and vice-versa. I give her credit though as being the granddaughter whose kept the sewing goals ahead of her the longest and she's put more ability into then the others. I have to realize, just because it is my goal to sew and then obviously a desire to teach my grandchildren, I have to realize it won't be the same desire for all. Just whoever shows an interest ... we'll definitely want to work with that!
Jasmine did EXTREMELY well with the bags ... she needs a lot more time with quilting - I was throwing rule after rule on her and it might have been too much and that could have contributed as well to her being "on-the-run" overwhelmed. Just everything seems to be a lesson getting ready for the next time :)
As to dates though ... I will want to get Jade or Isa or/and Isa back here soon. Austin is coming next weekend the 13/14th, and then 20/21 is a sewing week with the church (3 days), and I believe the 27/28 is Rich's last fishing weekend. I still prefer to have the grandchildren with Rich home. I'll be quilting on the 5/6th of October. I think we're up to though the weekend of October 11/12, 18/19, and/or 25/26. Have to look out too if Rich is going to want to do anything with those weekends. I don't think we're scheduled to do anything with him. We're certainly hoping something can be done during that time with the roof, but it will be a week day. I think the week of the 18/19 is a sewing week with the church/guild, but that would leave a two week gap, and I'm not sure which days Ame and Isa are in. It does seem fair to both to give them time apart from each other since each week they are together and there isn't much break. We'll also have to check their schedules. Maybe they have time coming up during a vacation where I can take Ame one day, bring her back and pickup Isa. That would be a good deal too. We'll have to talk to Nikki ... she's the one that keeps the girls schedules. I do love how each of the girls have a couple of interests ... scheduling them HAS to be a nightmare! But, if anyone can do it it is Nikki.
Friday, September 6, 2013 @ 8:26 am
Good morning. We decided to finish this entry instead of setting up another entry. Just felt we discontinued mid-stream. We woke up this morning about 7 am, took our medicine, made coffee, and now have since showered and gotten dressed. We have an hour to write before we go to Joe's. I'm really looking forward to that. Missy is trying to take over my writing view as Chief had tried before, but it's a bad idea to try and interrupt my writing time ... If nothing else the cats should know that! I know mean of me isn't it. Just we're on a tight schedule this morning. We're supposed to meet Joe at 11 am and I think he only has til 12. Not sure with that tight of schedule though if we can get in seeing the new dojo AND lunch. We'll have to check in there. Maybe we can arrange to do just a shake for lunch and skip the rest ... Think that's probably what Joe does anyway and it would free up our time to be looking at the new dojo proper. I think then that's what we'll suggest.
I would text it but my phone is charging in the other room. Maybe we'll do it just before leaving. I know we have to look for his address. I believe we're meeting him at his home.
So that is that ...
I think we're having troubles feeling we're caught up because of not being able to go more fully into our time with Dr. Marvin. To end this other stuff though ... we went to bed about 10 pm, but had to sleep with the chromebook and light on. Sometimes its hard for us when Rich isn't here. From what I recall of last night we remember talking to Linda for a few moments and that we'd been looking at pinterest. Something connected through email enough for us to realize that we were connected to about 167 people. It was like wow! We have to use that space better. So we started uploading a few pictures from our phone, and we'll try to keep that more in mind. It's something that is good for Sarah. I think she likes to play in that space best. We have 16 boards, but not of them is filled really a lot. We only have about 109 pins sothat is an average of 7 pins per board. Really this is an area not used anything like what it could be. It's fun to look at when we get over there ... just not a real high priority. I think when we start doing more research on line, we are much more apt to find things we want to pin. Sometimes with our own pictures it seems redundant to take our own pictures from camera because those pictures are already on FB. Eh, we'll figure it out. It does seem to be a good thing to do while waiting for other things ... like maybe a good thing to do the 15-30 minutes while we're sitting in the car - because we've gotten to Dr. Marvin's early. Not much of our time is wasted.
Ok, you might say the time spent on FB is, but I thoroughly believe in that medium. I think it's a regular humanity thing to do to look periodically (daily) at others entries, because I'm like I'm assuming others, like to have people look at what we post. It just seems neighbor friendly. There's a lot i learn too about having a normal life by seeing what things and people relationships others are interested in, especially when they are posting about family and friends. I also have a liking for the stuff done around the house or how people are managing their time. I've stated before having more problems with the general "sayings," but I too find myself looking there for words of wisdom and I HAVE re-posted some of these like others. That being said it is still one of our bigger consumers of time that takes time away from other things and it has to be watched carefully.
One more think on FB ... I have realized now and even before that we have the propensity to post to FB when something we find new or interesting happens or just something at least once a day to let people know what we're up to and what has been featured on the day. It makes me feel good even though people might be just passing by the post. Basically, it allows us a small snapshot of our day to day life and here we're like an archaeologist (like with the blogs) - just want for getting down sense of our life a thread of our history in the making. I don't know if it's going to be a process thing or a end product thing, maybe some of both, but its definitely in our blood as well as half the human population. *silly grin*
Oh one more thing that we were doing yesterday night after we'd written. We were going over several accounts on line that we have including a few that we don't use as often like Klout, Pinterest, and "Brand Yourself," Oh and the email thingy too - you know the closing part in the regular email space for that which we send out. It was sort of like getting in touch with our "brand" and what we're putting out in the general public. We were more concerned with the parts where people can connect to us anywhere, and from any of our mediums find other mediums ... for example this is the new message at the bottom of our emails.
Ann M. Garvey
Author - Ann's Multiple World of Personality
Adult Education Learner
Specializing in e-Learning, Technology & Design
23 Chrissy Drive
Sandwich, IL 60548
Ann's Multiple Life/World Mind Map
The lower 7 titles from Annsmultiple... to Pinterest have live links taking you to those locations. I guess in a 21rst century way it is like your calling card ... It shares a history of who you are and how to e-connect to us. We're really proud of the headway we've met here and it is something of interest to me that when I say Hi, I'm Ann Garvey ... that all of this is included in our presentation of self. We've been very open for a long time ... and I think like all "Cancer Crabs," we're interested in people being interested with us. I think in a conglomeration we represent ourselves as a "thought leader" in the online world, and we're proud of it. Especially, as we feel ourselves to be strongly into multiplicity, and maybe that then gets us to where we were with with Dr. Marvin yesterday. I think everything else is covered so we can spend this last half hour on it. YAY!!!
I think we had weaker parts - or maybe better said deflated parts out because we'd been spending so much time with everything else including the blogging - which IS important in our communications, but because the time was spent out there and with the others things we've mentioned previously, we haven't had a time to devote to the multiple mind mapping and all that goes with that - EVEN including our daily routines.
The result of that for the parts - I think especially Kelsie, it was like the other part where we mind map wasn't important anymore and with that fell our ideas on what we were doing as a permanent life fixture. I don't know why we felt so low about this, but I know part of it was because of other things we've tried to do especially toward school and work, we haven't been able to accomplish major projects successfully. It is like a bad self-reputation and we feared that if we couldn't do even the simplist of our goals WIthout the work/school constraints, then who would we be or what would be our value in life. I know we all carry value in our relationships, and I wouldn't give that up. I'm happy with the time this week with family and Rich and Dr. Marvin, but being IN relationship to others is just part of the game. The other part is what you produce IN the world as an individual. This is where we tie in with the feelings we have of passion toward life contributions.
I think one of the things we have to keep in mind is that when looking at a life long scope of events, we have to give ourselves more time and credit and realize that it is a very slow process to build up a legacy. I think that's the closest word we have to the footprint we are making and hope to leave behind. Maybe it's something especially important to writers. It's like having a sense of knowing you are going to die, but that it's ok, because a part of you will go on forever. I asked Dr. Marvin if this was vanity, but he didn't think so. He thought it more healthy that we find a sense of purpose and worth.
I guess then stepping away from the routines that we're building toward that ... make us feel the dissonance of not doing what we planned to. This goes back to only experiences learned of self-regulation which started in 2005 (8 years ago) when we were at Capella going through masters work on Educational Psychology. Basically, can we do what we set out to do ... because when we don't do it, we feel less of ourselves and credit ourselves less. It's like being weak spirited. We have looked at over the last couple days charts toward astrology and worse ... One said that we were going to die in 21 years at the age of 75 and it was taken less in stride when we saw that we were going to die by swallowing molten gold. But, nonetheless, we were interested in knowing an end point. Basically, what is the range of time we're going to have on this Earth to get everything done. I know that NO ONE on Earth really gets to know that, but this week without being able to get to our multiple projects we felt it a scarier thought than not. As to the astrology part, we were looking up general things under "Cancer," But as well as Chinese "Pig," and Druid "Elm Tree." They each had similar constructs.
This is what is said about the Pig:
Contrary to its rather negative reputation in the West, the Pig of Chinese Astrology may be the most generous and honorable Sign of the Zodiac. Pigs are nice to a fault and possess impeccable manners and taste. They have so much of the perfectionist in them that others may be inclined to perceive them as snobs, but this is a misconception. Pigs are simply possessed of a truly luxurious nature, one that delights in finery and riches (in surroundings, food, lovemaking and otherwise). This Sign believes in the best qualities of mankind and certainly doesn't consider itself to be superior. Pigs also care a great deal about friends and family and work hard to keep everyone in their life happy. Helping others is a true pleasure for the Pig, who feels best when everyone else is smiling. A Pig with no one around to appreciate its giving nature is a sad sight. Pigs are so magnanimous they can appear almost saintly; this can lead some less-than-well-intentioned souls to stomp all over this Sign, and the bad news is, the Pig will take the blows! Pigs make great companions in part because of their refusal to see the more negative or base qualities in a partner, but that rose-colored view can lead to this Sign's allowing itself to be taken advantage of. Contrary to their seemingly benign dispositions, however, Pigs can be quite venomous in response to being crossed by a lover, friend or business partner. Pigs are highly intelligent creatures, forever studying, playing and probing in their quest for greater knowledge. They can be misinterpreted as being lazy, however, due to their love of reveling in the good stuff; this Sign could happily spend hours on end making love, napping, taking a long bubble bath or dallying over an incredible spread of rich foods. Pigs tend to make wonderful life partners due to their hearts of gold and their love of family. Even so, Pigs can be rather exclusive, choosing to spend time with those who will appreciate them most and ignore the rest of the populace. Pigs would do well to realize that there's more to life than being needed. When they open up their world to a diverse group of people, they will truly bloom.
This is what is said about the Elm Tree:
Elm Tree's Druid horoscope
The wood of the Elm Tree is dense and strong with a strong resistance to splitting, which may be why it is symbolic of strong will. It grows rapidly, and it becomes big, slender, and beautiful. Despite its inherent beauty, the Elm Tree can be very reserved, even though it easily attracts people. Known for their simple, casual style, Elm Tree people are often quite sentimental and cannot bear to part with anything that holds a memory.
Easygoing by nature, those of the Elm clan are very laid-back and they don't like complications in life. They are calm and even-tempered, and perhaps their only potentially negative trait is that they are sluggish. They also tend to like to preach to others, which can get to be quite annoying.
Disarmingly generous, Elm Trees are open and straightforward. The people of this sign believe in good nature of all human beings, and therefore the endeavors they choose to get involved with are always of a noble nature. And although they are discreet, they secretly hope that sooner or later they will get much deserved acknowledgment.
Elm Tree people are very responsible; they are capable of achieving the impossible when it comes to supporting and protecting their loved ones. During those rare times when they don't succeed, they suffer from their own failures more than anybody else.
When in love, Elm Tree people are very passionate and can in fact be fervid. If a partner turns out to be a right person, Elm Tree people will create an amazing atmosphere where the love in their family will last for years and years.
Elm Trees prefer to be in charge because they hate to obey, and they are very skilled when it comes to managing others. Their demands on others are often as big as their love is.
Regardless of their flaws, one should be very patient with this sign, because these devoted people are absolutely worth it! They are marked by a solid character, golden hands, a practical yet lively mind, and a strong sense of humor, which helps them to deal with any disappointments. Typically, the Elm Tree life is quite pleasant and stress free.
And this is what is said this year about Cancer:
Cancer Characteristics and Profile
(June 21 - July 22)
Crabs live in the inter-tidal zone of the oceans, where tides rise and fall twice every day. This is the most dynamic and changeful place on earth, but also the most nutrient rich. Because of the constant change, Cancer have developed a hard outer shell for protection. Cancer can use the hard outer shell of your home as your protection. But it's more than just that. Typically, your sensitive Cancer can hold your feelings quietly behind your own walls.
Crabs also have large pinching claws, and Cancer can hold onto things, especially from the past. Cancer are fiercely loyal and have a difficult time letting go. But Cancer are also quick to bring those you love inside the safety of your outer shell while you nurture them. Cancer love is protective, but unless tempered, can be smothering.
Cancer motto could be, "A good defense is the best offense." Like a Crab in its cave, your attack can consist of baiting your opponent into your territory. What appears to be a retreat to others can be your best aggressive tactic. As you feel your way through life, building your security by developing your home and family relationships, remember that unexpressed anger can turn into resentment and depression, so find someone you can trust and share your feelings.
Astrologically, the water element symbolizes emotion. Water runs deep; it seeks its own level and will flow until it has found it. The cycle of water is endless with the snows falling in the mountains and melting. The mountain streams join to make the great rivers that run to the sea. The tides and currents churn the oceans. Similarly, our feelings are flowing as they connect the present with past experiences. Sometimes the waters are so deep that we cannot put words to our feelings.
The water of Cancer is that of the changing tides. Regular rhythms that bring food and nurture the creatures who live there. But this is also about the water of a smoothly surfaced lake. No movement is apparent, yet beneath the surface there is movement, currents and much hidden activity.
Fourth House: Home and Family
The Fourth House is related to the mother. It is where we are nurtured, and takes in not only our real mother, but all those who nurture us -- especially early in life. This is the house of childhood surroundings. It is where we retreat from the noise of the outer world.
Key Planet: Moon
The Moon is always changing, not even the same two nights in a row. It races around the Earth once a "month," and as such we are familiar with her regularly repeating patterns. Women's menstrual cycles are naturally tied to the lunar rhythm, putting them in closer touch with the subconscious realms of the Moon. But to man and woman alike, the Moon is the key to our feelings and our emotional cycles. As the key planet of Cancer, the Moon symbolizes our basic needs -- how we need to be nurtured and how we nurture others.
Your Biggest Strength: Your ability to nurture others
Your Potential Weakness: Fear of the past repeating in the future
I will have to read this again later when there is more time, but in general it speaks to our being unnerved by not knowing who we are, again that goes back to not being able to actually work on our goals.
One of the things that Dr. Marvin agreed with was that we should set daily goals and he agreed when we brought up watching numbers. He said that was similar to what we've done in the past - even with our counting of quilts. We had gone out on a limb and told him we were copying most of what we were reading in Dell's book to our mind map - and then hiding it from public view so we could use the material without getting in trouble with copy right laws.
I thought he was going to hint that it was too much, but he didn't. He seemed to understand our explanations of trying to comprehend the material and be able to use it for a resource. He really understood the resource part. We explained that we wanted to get to a point that if someone mentioned for example (we're looking at history now), but used the name of Braun or Van der Hart, or even Binet or Freud, we wanted to be able to understand their position and what means to the turning of the whole in understanding multiplicity.
Dr. Marvin reminded us that we have shown a very strong lifelong interest in trying to understand ourselves, so he didn't think it was odd that we would spend so much time trying to understand multiplicity. I remember just getting to college and being fascinated with abnormal psych AND the word describing families as "dysfunctional." Even back then choosing Human Development as a major and then later psychology, and then Educational psychology, and then Adult Educational psychology - well basically, we've been on the same trajectory all along, but now our life isn't as complicated by having things like work, school, living in an apartment or raising family. It is like our time to shine. AND, that being said - this is where we remind ourselves that at 54 years of age - we've really only spent half our life. That's really an important thing to know - EVEN though we worry about dying and not getting to everything.
It helps to put things in perspective though as to a life purpose. We're going back here to really wanting to learn, understand and develop insight into multiplicity. It's the biggest word we've found yet that explains ourselves. There's probably more interest too because as a whole it is very misunderstood by the general public, many multiples, and even the psychiatry/psychology field. Here we remind the listener that not all psych people even believe in the "disorder." It seems like its been that way all along. Again, I know we've mentioned it before, but we really think we have finally found our advantage in being able to understand things from both views of student and teacher.
We still worry and agonize over our ability to hold information, but here is where the mind map (system) comes in. We can trace what we are putting together so that we can hold - speaking vessel here - the information, and then trace follow-out the natural pathways, and in so doing - might be able to help others. When we came down hard on ourselves for never having finished something before, Dr. Marvin reminded us that we are able to understand everything we learn - just that the pace of doing it through work or school wasn't working for us, due to the number of times in our system on a daily basis that we get overwhelmed and have to slow down or stop and regain our balance. This is the part where we acknowledge that having 19 parts means that we're being pulled in 19 different directions and although we have a global cause ... we each feel different parts of catching up and sharing gifts toward that goal. Even when a young part presents a need, it because when conscious a key to understanding the multiplicity and what different parts or multiples are going through. It seems to be a key to look for the generalities in both the multiple community and the educated community AND ourselves to see what most falls in line and then to shore up that information with real life so that scholarly works with practical.
Maybe it is a bit presumptuous to think we can do this, but then again ... here we are, and why the hell not! Just got to be patient without ourselves. But, for now ... we gotta go ... I't 9:32 am and we're headed to Joe's :)
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Dissociative Identity Disorder Blog
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