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Thursday, November 21, 2013

It's going to be another Thom day - time is passing quickly...



Wednesday, November 20, 2013 @ 1:15 pm

Good afternoon.  We’re going to see if we can post this time, AND not lose the copy.

We’re still chasing Rich around the house picking up after him … GRRRR…. If I clean the house the next dish I see better be in the sink!  Then he had a week of mail on the table so I sorted through to be filed, thrown or that he would have to look at … then I put it next to his recliner which he is using as his office, and then he came in yelling because he didn’t know where his paperwork was … BY YOUR CHAIR.  HMPF!  If it’s on the kitchen table AND you want me to clean, then it doesn’t belong there.  AND, we’ve crossed the bordering giving him permission to put our drafting table in his empty/office JUST to get it out of the sitting room, but now he’s saying maybe not?!??

He did move the majority of his stuff from the sunroom back to the back office/room.  That was nice.  He has a satisfactory station set back there.  His parts had frozen soaking in water out in the sunroom.  He said he would move the buckets that are now in the guest bathtub out when Thom comes.  Little crabby about that.  BUT, not enough to get CRANKY about.  Didn’t want to see him freezing his fingers though.  *sigh* best to be adaptable?  That seems to be the thing.

I’m not winning the battle of getting our own REAL Christmas tree though this year.  I wanted to keep it in the Sunroom.  He said too much money … BOOO…

We had a heart to heart … pretty much me listening and asking questions.  Rich gave me my Christmas budget.  Basically, it was the amount he’d borrowed from me to pay for taxes, so we should come out even except his gift.  I haven’t thought that far ahead.  Maybe we’ll do it like last year where we put some money aside for household stuff.  This year we need more towels.  We got some for the girls for housewarming, but those are for guest.  My collection came before Rich moved in.  There were 12 sets in an off-white, but by now they’re like sheddy.  I think we have used to much bleach over the last half year of being at the new house.  Just been so pleased to be able to clean them frequently *sigh*

I think we told you last time that Thom bought us the microwave.  He’s so cool.  Maury bought us the GPS and we’re now using that faithfully too!  We got the blender and a TV AND the SHARK floor cleaner all around my birthday.  Thinking we’ve go about everything we need.  Hmm, maybe we can do a family gift of a snow blower this year.  I don’t want to make that HIS gift because it’s no fun.  We’ll have to ask him what.  Think he needs underwear too, but that’s not fun EITHER!  It will go on a list though.  I don’t think there is anything I want … haven’t thought of it yet.  We’ll put that on a back burner. 

OH MAN OH MAN!  Just thought!  My mother usually gives us some Christmas money – we can say since the kids are getting something that that money goes to pay for part of the roof!  Rich says at the beginning of the new Year that we should both put $250 toward the building fund (savings).  We asked him if we had that much and he said barely.  I’m a little worried because I stay even at getting a couple hundred a month.  I’m not sure if we’ll have “fun money.”  Best not to worry about it.

Hmm, I wonder if we could FINALLY finish Rich’s quilt for Christmas?  Need to do Cari’s and Joe’s too leftover from their wedding.  Right now both have quilts up to the stage where they are quilted, and only need the binding.  Have to think hard on that one.  Thinking now what I might ask for.  I could ask for fabric and thread to sew new bedroom curtains and matching curtains for the master tub and small window in there.  That be three windows and one tub area.  And, then if I get his quilt made, then he has to hang – maybe with Maury’s help the fish quilt on the sitting room wall!  That be a good deal.  The curtains that the others had were from the 70’s and didn’t even match.  And the curtains in the bath tub area are white and blue strips like the stuff from pillow liners.  REALLY needs to change, but some of this other stuff was MORE important. 6 x 3 + 2 x 3 +7 x 5 + 7 x 2 + 5 x 6 + 3 x 3 PLUS the seat cushion 7 x 5 =

Wow seems like a lot.  I’m thinking like 14 yards @ $11.50 = $161 BUT that doesn’t include the extra rippling part.  6 x 4.5 + 2 x 4.5 + 7 x 8.5 + 7 x 3 + 5 x 9 + 3 x 4.5 + 7 x 6 = shoot this is getting hard … and it doesn’t include if we put in a top ruffle thing … Maybe that won’t happen … and it doesn’t include if there will be tie backs.

4 + 1.5 + 5 + 2.1+ 1.5 + 3 + 3 + 5 = 25 x 12.50 = $315

Ok, been sitting here figuring that a lot … Definitely has to be reworked, but I think if we could do curtains for about $300 that would be a pretty good deal considering what most of them cost.  Think the curtains would be some single or combination of a pink, blue and green … more like powder colors.

Well, we’ll get back to that in a bit.  We looked through about 650 colors from Jinny Beyer … too far away from the project to consider it too seriously yet.  First we want to get Rich’s approval as to what he thinks about me getting curtain fabric for Christmas.  Definitely go again with Jinny though … it’s my favorite place to shop … I love the 2-3 tone colors.  And, it will work really well in the room … the background is an off white so that could be a consideration too … too soon to tell.  It does fit my usual Christmas demands in that we like something to be able to play with.  I’d also like to get from JoAnn’s a better cushion for the window seat since we’re doing it over again, but would have to figure out how to sew something that might be 2-3” thick.  I’m pretty sure too that most things like that come with zippers, but we’d be willing to just fold something under – more of a flap … we’ll see. 

I thought for a bit of putting up some kind of quilt for curtains, but I think that would be too much … and I like the loose wavy curtains over something straight. 

Good good.  We just vacuumed the sunroom – four more rooms to go and we’ll want to bring the carpet cleaner though the sitting room.  I know you’ve heard this before, right?  Dishes are done and the first of two loads through today is in the dryer – with the other being in the washer.  Good deal there.  I still want to vacuum all the rooms and get the litter and garbage out.  Should put away the dishes too, and clean the surface of Rich’s coffee table.  The sunroom SURE does look good! I hope there isn’t too much problems with Rich’s mess back in his workroom.  Think that’s what it’s going to be called – never made it to an office quite, but it is his to do as he pleases. 

I wonder if these thoughts are being brought to you by the Christmas music in the background? 

Let’s see we’ll empty clean dinner dishes from the dishwasher tomorrow, make the bed, make sure the clothes are picked up and clean the bathrooms.  I don’t think we’re going to have to empty garbage twice so if anything that would wait until tomorrow morning.  Then just shower, make popcorn and get out the door.  We leave here for Dr. Marvin’s at 9 am, appointment at 11 am, out at 12 and then pick up Thom about 1:15-1:30 pm.  We’ll have to give him a call as we’re leaving the garage at UIC to tell him how long it will be.  I think he’s thinking 2 pm.  Not too much problems.  We will talk to Rich about what we’re having for dinner tomorrow night.  I think we’re having left over pork roast and sauerkraut tonight.  It was good last night.

And, we had some fun last night too – in general … we didn’t get as grouchy as we have been.  Seems that my medicine is running out of its power the last couple of hours – so that it might be better to consider taking it closer to 5-6 pm.  I know there is some backlash, because that’s about the time that Rich is coming home and we have to adapt our schedule to his … Usually there are things he wished that I’d gotten done … or if we did everything right, he wants to talk negatively about some of the stuff that happened to him, AND its dinner so we’re both tired and hungry. 

We left Linda a note a while ago.  Nothing much for her to do, but we’d been talking to her about what kind of plans he might have, so this seems like a good thing to fill in that space.  This is the third day in a row we haven’t felt like keeping up the progress of our Multiple Works.  I think we’re going back to that it’s been exciting and harder to concentrate with Thom in town.  We have to remind ourselves we can’t flood him with too much Mom, but it surely is hard.  I hear that a lot from other Marine Moms … their adult kids are more independent and don’t like the overwhelming emotional needs of Mom.  Thom agreed we’re doing better.  There was one problem getting confused coming out of Chicago last week.  He said that we almost lost all the good Mom ground we’d had in the last two days.  He’s serious and not serious at the same time.  He wouldn’t disown me, but we didn’t want the one bad experience shadowing his good memories with us.  He pulled over, and we just sat for a moment and then said, which was true.  We forgot to take our medicine and that we’d do that right away.  It worked PSHWOO!

There got another room vacuumed … Maybe we’d actually get to washing the kitchen floor too?  Can’t believe how much stuff collects under the sink in one week.  Blah!  We parked the machine in front of the bedroom next … then we’ll do the LR at the same time and then bring it toward the sitting room.  Hmm, just got some more pop and threw away a few things like popcorn wrapper on desk.  This time cleaning doesn’t seem so bad.  It helps when Rich is out of the house and we can rest between things.  

In other news, we did see Dr. Marvin yesterday.  It was fine, but we were a little unglued.  We talked about the depression we were dealing with through feeling loss of Thom.  Today was much better; because we were realize we’re going to be seeing him more.  That’s truly a joy.  I feel the same toward Joe and Maury, but it makes a difference when you are years between visits.  I will call Maury later tonight to make sure he knows to expect Thom for Thanksgiving at his place and at ours the day before.  I’m sure it will be fine, but want to dot all the I’s and cross the t’s.  So happy!!!!  Just wish the ups and downs were a little smoother. 

I have to get my mind off Thom.  I’m probably driving my readers crazy! 

Must be the X-mas music!  Hehehe Pretty sure Thom’s not going to go for that. 

Back to Dr. Marvin’s.  We seemed also to go over again some of our thoughts, and we asked a lot of questions as to what he thinks of many hot spots in the “literature” (non-psychiatry) as to how things we’re lining up.  We found ourselves really confused because our thoughts were mixed up a lot when reading so much other stuff some contrary to what we’d believed before.  I don’t think my beliefs have become more limited, they are more expanded though as to other possibilities.  I think both Dr. Marvin and I agreed that about 90-95% of Multiples are created through trauma.  Trauma is giving more flexibility than saying everyone has gone through sexual abuse, but I still believe us to have gone through it.  We also talked about the brain synapse, the hippocampus and amygdala being smaller, but them not understanding why or how it happens.  I think we read something about 7 years ago though that explained it to a degree.  That would take more reading.  We told him our frustration of regular people not getting reading materials from the psych journals or papers, we talked about.

There vacuumed the bedroom and living room AND we folded another load of clothes and putt the last one in the dryer.  Good girl!  OH and we vacuumed kitty fur on the coach.  Missy has just one spot she likes to sit where the two major cushions meet.  She likes the little divot.     

As to what we were saying with Dr. Marvin was that things were getting really out of whack with the differences of Multiple belief.  He did look through for me at all the different new connections we’d been making.  We asked him what he thought and if there were things we could improve, but as usual with that sort of thing he doesn’t add too much.  He usually points out something he wasn’t familiar with.  By now then he’s gone over a few things at Andraea’s site and now the site of PODS – Carolyn Spring.  She’s from England and her husband’s a therapist and they have a huge site with hundreds of articles.  I don’t like the way they are putting out that theirs is the only way to think about things.  They come off as authoritative, and it does seem that they’ve done their homework, but when you start concluding yours is the only way to think, it alienates others who like to think for themselves and put together their own conclusions. 

I feel like Jack Web … just the facts Ma’am, just the facts.

There done vacuuming.  I vacuumed both the sitting room AND Thom’s room.  Good Mom!  The thing that really gets messed up is the cats have a shredding box in there and there always things to be picking up.  Just they love the box.  It’s got corrugated edges and bottom so they run by and scratch in it and when the fire is on Missy likes to sleep in the box near the fire.  Eh … just the way our household runs.

I’m surprised that Rich isn’t home yet.  I thought he was only going out for a couple of hours.  It is giving me a chance to get plenty done.  After the clothes finish drying I’ll fold them hopefully before he needs the counter for cooking.  It’s about 3:30 pm, so I think I’m going to make it, and then if we’re really inspired we will wash the kitchen floor tonight sometimes after dinner.  Then it won’t get messed up before Thom gets here.  Hehehe – if they at least know you TRIED to keep it clean!  Won’t come down to hard on messy cooks. 

I think we’re done talking about Dr. Marvin now.  Any last thoughts?  Oh one thing … we asked him if he was ever going to do anything with Multiplicity and if it was in his career track.  BUT, he said no.  He said that’s my work.  We weren’t thrilled with that answer.  But, we might be more bias … what could be more interesting than Multiples?  Ok, ok … no fair, BUT it is the way we think.

It is funny though when my boys are around most thoughts about multiples being unique fall off the wall.  Nothing is more important than your kids.  That goes for their families too!

I wonder if they are feeding Thom yet or if everyone is still going out for dinner.  I am thinking not late enough to be calling Maury … maybe around dinner time he’d be driving home.  I think he has to work only 2 more days and he’s going to get 8 days off!  So excited!

Hmm, we progressed that.  We called and left a message with Maury and we talked to Joe.  Joe hadn’t heard Thom’s schedule got locked down.  I’m sure Maury will call me when driving home from work.  We have to ask him if he had his work transfer go through.  Last time we talked he said that he was trying to switch over to the Comcast office closer to his home.  He really likes the people he was working with – most of them I’m sure, but having a five minute drive over a 45 minute drive would really be much better for the family.  It would give him an extra hour or two every day.  That’s a lot when you have a family.  After the dryer stops, I think we’ll take a shower, and then we’ll be able to turn on the fire place.

This wasn’t a really good day for thinking concrete thoughts and ideas.  Happy with the Holiday music … my favorite song from Trans-Siberian Orchestra is playing.  It has kids singing and it’s just hauntingly beautiful.  Please remind me to put this back on after Thom leaves and we’re feeling sorry for ourselves.  I’ve got to keep thinking that its pride in Thom that should be most prominent right now.  He’s doing really good.  AND, he’s coming back tomorrow!  Joe says he has a difficulty with the time because it means pushing over the jobs he would normally do Friday night to Cari.  Don’t want to see that happening.  But, don’t know what Maury has scheduled before.  If he’s working it would be impossible.  I asked Joe to call Thom if he’d like to reschedule, and just let me know.  I’m so crazy excited that I will be seeing our boys … it’s just incredible.  Yes, make sure the camera is working.  Hmm, I wonder what we did with our other camera?  I think we decided it took the lesser of pictures.    It would be really fun if the boys would do some fun shots, not sure where they will be though.  This time will be different in that there is no snow. 

Hmm, might go take my shower before the clothes are dried … need to handle all this extra energy!

AHA!  Fresh ANN!!!  13 more minutes to turn on the fireplace.  Hmm, think maybe we could do this just a few moments early?  Dryer is stopping … surely this must be prophetic!  We fold clothes in the kitchen on the other side of the table in front of the fire place.  Yup yup … WAY into happyland.  I think Rich will excuse me TWELVE minutes!

Thursday, Novembe 21, 2013 @ 8:17 am

Good morning.  This is us … we’ve been up for almost a couple of hours and took some time to be reading through emails, and then we did the last moment stuff like bathroom, kitty litter, garbage and some general picking up – which was just a few things. 

We now have 45 minutes before we leave to Dr. Marvin’s.  Hmm finished up … did the dishwasher too and am popping the popcorn.  Good deal.  I’ve got a clean car and gas and should be stopping to pick-up Thom on the way back. We were doing a little Mom-work in that we ran through some paces to guarantee everyone is good with the arrangements for tomorrow.  I think we stated that we were only going to be meeting the three boys and Thom asked that we not have Rich there because that might cause unrest as to why the others couldn’t bring their partner or family.  This is really going to be just about me and my three sons.  I AM looking forward to seeing others on Wednesday and Thursday next week.  I called Joe to make sure he knew something was happening both days, but he confirmed he and Cari couldn’t make it.  But Maury’s family, Nikki’s ex-MIL and Thom will be there along with Rich and us.  Good Deal!

I will talk to Thom about doing the volunteer work on Wednesday too.  It would be great fun for Maury’s family, but I’m not sure if Thom is up to that kind of thing.  We will pick him up Wednesday so we’re not sure then if we will pick him up earlier or later either before or after the volunteer work with Maury’s family.  AND, we changed the time.  It seemed that it didn’t matter to Thom and both Maury and Joe were sacrificing things they would normally be doing with their families.  The time got bumped up then to 11:30 am – which is before Maury’s family gets out of school and gets into all their evening chaos, and it will allow both Joe and Cari to do their karate programs as previously scheduled.  It also is better for me, because Rich worries when we drive home at night particularly when we’re tired.  It also then frees up Thom if he wants to get something together with his peers during the evening.  I’d love to have him back, but right now just hoping his father will leave early to TX and it will mean more time with Thom here.  I am hoping he takes here over staying at his father’s empty house.  We are really good with the car too in that if he wants it it’s always his.  I know he’d rather cut down on the miles and he is really comfortable at his Dad’s and seems to have found a niche for studying over there, but you know Mom’s they take as much of their kids as they can get.

It will be really nice having him for Thanksgiving.  We obviously are going to miss him at Christmas, but he gets four days off at that point while in Japan, so he’ll have time to pull together something for his living quarters.  I think he will be staying on or off base in some kind of hotel situation. 

There almost forgot … we didn’t drink our shake yet.  We finished talking to Rich about plans for dinner tonight.  I’m not sure what all he’s into today.  I think this might be the day he takes his mother to check on her neck up in Rockford.  I’m not sure but I think he’s going to be around here before and after that … he talked about doing some work with the piece parts.  His directions were don’t mess up anything … clear the parts soaking in Thom’s shower Hehehe, AND to bring the water in.  Otherwise I think we’re all set.

I know I know this is getting on the Ridiculist … just we’re a little excited and there is just 15 more minutes before the next phase starts.  I’m REALLY excited – did I say that part already?  Shoot!

Hmm, did we do any work on the Multiple stuff?  Not really.  We did read a little more from Astraea’s site.  We read Andy Temple’s papers.  We’ll go back to them again.  And, we did get a note from Jordan one of Astraeas about the banner over at his site.  If I read it correctly we will get a listing of our blog in the section he has for his personal webpage index, and then we might get then a listing on his contact page to our mind map.  We came up with two new labels one for each site, because we weren’t so crazy about the wordles.  They didn’t say anything, especially the titles of our links.  That was some fun … we’re using Picmonkey now and am enjoying the part of their service which is free.

We’ll use one of them for our picture for this blog entry.  Speaking of … just a few more minutes so we should probably post.  Be looking forward on the other end.  The one thing we do want to appreciate is that although we seem to be writing a little more, it will be the record we go back to when Thom isn’t here.  It will have a lot of Thom thoughts.  Not so excited we lost 2 days of records this last week and a half, but then maybe that’s just the way it was supposed to happen?

Anyway take care!

(41,947/8,640) 


I’m not sure what we’ll talk to Dr. Marvin about … 

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