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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Trifecta - with the kids!



Monday, February 10, 2014 @ 10:54 am

Good morning.  This is just us.  We’ve been pretty fluttery up to this time s
o we’re going to try concentrating a bit more with the writing while squeaking in some housework and maybe even other things?  Wouldn’t be the strangest thing?    We turned on Adele … we’ll see if she can do the trick. 

We watched like millions of people last night the Beatles show – for their 50 years anniversary of being on the Ed Sullivan show.  It was pretty good, but we were listening for the woman who kept saying how much time before the Paul and Ringo reunited.  I just wanted to hear them sing.  There were a few others I liked, but mostly I just wanted to hear “The Beatles.”  I very much liked that part.  Of course we watched it with Rich in bed and that sweetened the deal J

We’ve had a VERY good weekend we’re calling the Trifecta.  We saw or experienced all three of the boys or their family.  We didn’t actually spend time with Maury because he was at work, but felt delighted to be spending time with Nikki, Jade and Jasmine.  I feel so at home with them.  But, that’s where it was ending, not starting.

It started with a call from Thom – in Japan.  Pswhoo!  Whatta way to wake up!  We talked a little about what he was doing as to be in the office now and when he’d be in the states for more training.  There was a little relationship talk, but mostly we talked about the house he got and the situations around there including money to be getting along in his new country.  He had been there once before while WITH the Marines – so now it is like jumping into his niche already.  It was a nice long talk and it was super crazy good!

Then we met Joe and Cari at their house, and we went to Flattop.  It is a restaurant where you put together your own food – meat and vegetables and then they cook it on a big flattop grill and bring it to you.  It was good, but not as good as the company.  We tried to get caught up with some of the things they are doing too.  A lot has to do with all the things that keep their schedules so busy.  It was a present for Joe’s birthday … and just gosh darn fun!

AND THEN… we went to Nikki and Maury’s.  We had asked if we could help with the cookies.  They had thousands of boxes to deal with.  OMG don’t know how they moved all those boxes.  They had already pulled out the boxes from Saturday to Sunday morning that were going to the other Brownies in Isa’s troop, and then we helped with Isa’s order.  She had sold HUNDREDS of cookies!  Lucky Maury and Nikki got extras, because we saw the results after their dog Lady checked out the cookies too!  Hehehe not enough to get sick, but be pretty happy!  I know they will take care of it … but in the meantime, it was a VERY nice day.  Nikki made grilled cheese sandwiches and soup for everyone and we got to sit down at the table and talk to everyone.  Rich came with this time, so that was really helpful.  It didn’t take too long to get the cookies done and it was just plain fun! 

And, to top things off?  We get to see Austin this weekend.  He’s going to be staying over the weekend and we’re planning on loving that to pieces too.  Just LOVE LOVE LOVE having family!  REALLY NICE!

That’s pretty much the weekend.  I know there was time in-between so other things were happening, but those were the most fun.  We did watch the Olympics with Rich in the evenings.

One of the other things that had gotten done last weekend was that we’d written the “Interview” that was posted on the last blog entry.  Now that it is that much later, we’re thinking it didn’t make the cut.  One of the Multiples told the other Multiples through the board that it wasn’t right.  Not in those words though.  I think she thought of it being better not getting into the details and length we wrote in and that she didn’t seem to like that we’d been based in another system – trauma-based.  We took it to bed with us and have decided to pull the contribution.  We don’t feel as if we want to truncate it or change our message.  Pretty much it is OUR message and if that conflicts with group thoughts, then we’re much more interested in pulling it back than having it switched to be more accommodating.  It isn’t that we didn’t know too that it was long, but that’s the kind of people we are.  Often times when we write and particularly edit many parts contribute to fill in the blank spots.  We’ve always known about our detail-mindedness.  I’d sat on the Interview for about a week and tweaked it so it was how we wanted it. 

I think the group has every right and responsibility to attend to their ideals, but I represented more me than their group though because I thought it was that kind of invitation.  It wasn’t though what they were apparently looking for me.  There is some hurt feelings, but nothing over wrought.  It’s sorta like a “yes/no” question.  Yes, you want it AS IT IS, or No you don’t.  They didn’t direct their criticism of the piece directly, but yes I have access to the group posts so could read between the lines.  I don’t want to make this a big issue … we’ll try other ways of supporting the group, but not that one.  I’ve been lazy and had put aside publishing the written copy of Dr. Marvin’s talk – it seemed to have taken a lot out of me.  After this week we’ll try to get back into it.  We will be zooming through this week with Dr.  Marvin appointments and with Austin coming. 

So that’s pretty much there.  I hope no one thinks we’re less friendly for it … just an artistic difference.  Still love the group and people within it.

It’s now 3:44 pm and we’re back.

We wrote a long note that included the people that were having their conversations in the group, so people saw what we were responding too.  It took a bit like everything we do, and then we posted it in the group … basically, took our medicine and then took a LONG nap.  We just got up.  There was a response note, but at this moment we have to move over to some other things.  Sometimes we take things personally and this time we’re trying not to.  Just time to move on.

I wish I could tell you of other things happening in the day, but I think you pretty much have it.  Rich is in the sitting room on the phone, but we have the earphones on … we changed the music from Adele to “Music for Hope.”  It’s something we like to hear in helping us be calmer. 

One of the reasons why the nap was so nice … was well one, because we woke up and had felt calmer because of the medicine, and for two we took the nap in our bedroom.  Over the weekend, Rich put up one of the curtains in the bedroom.  It really does open the window … as we stated all along most of the curtain is on the outer 2/3rds of the space the window/wall takes, so the middle third is completely open to the sun.  We’ve been noticing that our kitties have been position themselves for napping around where the sunbeam is hitting the bed.  I love it.  There is a much warmer feeling of the room because it’s better tied together and is peaceful to our minds.  I love it when things come together!

It was hard waiting for the curtain to be put-up, but was so grateful that Rich took the initiative to do it himself.  He still has one more window to go, but I really have to sit back and wait until it happens … same with a broken toilet seat.  It’s under mock repair now, but we asked only that it be done before our Grandson gets here.  He has been taking weeks with it, but we’re really hoping that it happens … he has the new seat … just has to make the magic happen J

Yesterday was another poor day for his mother, and today he wouldn’t even talk about it.  The brief story is that she’s making too many calls where she just calls people – especially family and yells and screams about things that aren’t true.  Every time she does it, I think she makes it more true in her head, but doesn’t change the reality for anyone else.  They are becoming nuisance calls though and her step-children decided to respond by calling the police.  Really nothing more that Rich could do about it … There has to be some way she’s held responsible for her choices.  So the police were out there again last night.  At the end it was just another night of frustration.  She yelled and yelled, refused to go to the hospital, and the hospital wouldn’t take her because the police told them she wasn’t eating.  Apparently, it’s ok not to do that.  This time she didn’t threaten suicide, so maybe she learned something from the last time the police were out.  Don’t know.  One way or another it’s a very poor situation.  Eventually, she will outdo herself and have to be taken care of, but on the other side of that what she is fighting for most is being able to be with her husband.  She feels the other side of the family is taking him away from her and doesn’t understand they are taking care of him – and probably keeping him from some of her craziness.  She’s lonely and although most often is yelling that she’s throwing him out of the house with belongings on the yard … she hasn’t actually done that yet.  The thing will move along at her pace. 

We don’t like what is happening all around, but our biggest task is just to support Rich.  He’s been very frustrated and this has been going on for about 8-9 months.  It’s just day-to-day.  As to Rich he’s feeling all the frustration around him and holds tight to what is practical … he can’t change his mother, but he tries to be installing the situation so that she understands her actions.  I can’t say its working … at this stage she’s only concerned with the things in her mind.  She’s not interested in the reality of others.  So I guess here too it’s time to move on.

Hmm, feeling better!  We posted a picture that’s at the top of our page with the words “Trifecta!”  It’s the good feelings we’re getting from having been with family over the weekend.  We wrote on FB –

Just wanted to say something before I lose the spell of the weekend ... I wanted to say Thanks to all my sons and their families. I got to talk to Thom in Japan on Friday morning, then we went out with Joe and Cari for his birthday lunch in the afternoon, and then Maury arranged with us to be at his place helping Nikki with girl scout cookies on Sunday and we got a wonderful lunch from it between grilled cheese, soup and GRANDDAUGHTERS! To make it better we're seeing Austin this weekend (Grandson). It's such a happy time for us. Thank you for making all this possible! Absolutely LOVE family!!!    

It was such a good time … crazy lucky in life!  If I were really lucky now Austin might be interested in seeing his cousins, but we’re going to play that low key.  We would love to have All four granddaughers and their parents out on Saturday, but it is more Austin’s time and with all his changes, we want things to be good for him here and last time it was too much for him.  Think he wanted more time with his Dad alone and it wasn’t going that way so I don’t want to bring back those memories.  I think the first time he met the girls was one of the best because they were all sidetracked with Maury and Mikes anticas playing poker something that they could all do.  It’s been harder matching their interests.  Maybe down the line?  Right now we just want to make the absolute most of the weekend time with him.

There’s not much better having kids – OTHER THAN GRANDCHILDREN!!!!!

I hope we never lose the magic feelings we have when we are with them.  You know?  Ok, going to get teary-eyed here.  Better be moving on – do want to say one thing in particular though – Jade – keep thinking about what you want to do – try out everything and FIND the perfect match!!!!  She’s looking at school and career moves as a high school freshman and I LOVE it! 

*sigh* all is well again! 

Hmm, maybe not as well as if we cleaned up the kitchen for Rich?  Are we finally to that point of relaxation enough so that we’re willing to do something more physical?  Ok, let’s not rush that, but we’re thinking of that ok?  It’s just after 4:30.  What would we do?  Maybe hmm, thinking we left close where we shouldn’t, BUT on the bright side, Rich got a new pair of pants, AND some underthings!  It was something started with one of his sons at Christmas, but he had to exchange sizes.  Ok, like that only took?  Hmm, YAY only 47 days!  It could have been much worse *giggle*  It was hard because I had like 6-7 days before he ran out of the essential stuff.  I’d like to think I’d wash clothes more than that, but really you wait until the laundry baskets are full, right?  ANYWAY … good news there!

AND, did you hear that girl scout cookies came in?  OMG are they great stuff.  I have a lot of appreciation over Isa and her family with what they made of the sale.  She’s going to learn being a super saleswoman.  AND, it’s not over … there were many hundred extra boxes purchased because they had no doubt they could sell the packages and it benefited the troop and the GS in general.  It takes a lot of effort to be that motivated, and I can’t help but appreciate there all effort.  GOOD STUFF!!!

Ahh there … finally did a “good Ann!”  I cleaned up the kitchen.  It took a bit of the day to get me there, but am happy that it actually still happened.  We did a few extra things in that Rich is working to cleaning the coffee pot – because of our water sediments it gets clogged up even using the filtered water.  That’s a little scary.  And, we cleaned out the ice tray.  About 4/5 had gotten connected and some of the ice was old, so we dumped all that out.  A couple more “little” extras and we’ll be on our way J

We did listen to Linda this morning, but she said that she’s got her sewing girls this evening so we’re thinking that she’s gone for that.  She also had an excellent weekend because it was her birthday and she spent time with her kids and grandchildren.  Must have been that kind of a week!

We haven’t gotten to the part of practicing too much for piano, but maybe with the nap we took today, we can do that a little after dinner.  Rich has been in the sitting room most of the day.  He did see his mother and do some grocery shopping.  She isn’t claiming to have remembered what happened and still on her same tired argument … I think she needs a magic fairy, because she essentially only gets one or two ideas and until she makes that happen she gets stuck – no matter all the wrong things she does to get there.  *sigh another story, but we’re thinking we’re done with that one for the day.

Maybe in our own way we’re not much different.  Like until we get the dishes washed and clothes cleaned and such … we have to go back and back again until we can rightfully be moving on. 

We’re thinking we’d like to do a little bit more with the writing to get us better regulated.  The same kinds of thoughts came up

Uh oh … she on her thing again … she’s mad because her step-daughter blocked the calls.  AND, it sounds like from Karen Bud was at the surgeons again as part of the skin grafting process.  I hope he’s doing better, but doesn’t change the feeling of being of victim by Rich’s Mom.  I’m saying she’s feeling a victim, because they are putting their foot down on her harassment of the household.  But, also Rich stated to them he would like Bud – staying at Karen’s to call his wife, and then he told her she can’t yell at him.  Pretty sure that’s going to be a muck too.  Just seems in life you have to follow common decency rules where people don’t get by yelling and screaming and making threats.  Her thing today has been that she’s going to get rid of him and rent out his room so she has company.  I guess that’s her idea of ending her marriage.  It’s a very confusing thing to have her want and then hate him so badly – or, his family.  They are probably not the best communicators in that they’ve blocked themselves emotionally from her too – don’t seem to care what happens to her, but she does not make it easy for them.  Rich seems like a middle-man now.  He’s had Karen calling to yell at him and he’s complained back to her.  Just a vicious circle/cycle.

Rich is making dinner now … giving him time to calm down again.  We’ll probably go though and just sit with him.  I think he’s working with Turkey leftovers.  He’s got a hard life L

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