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Dissociative Identity Disorder Blog

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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

It's a two-fer

Friday, April 24, 2015 @ 10:37 AM

Good morning this is us.  We’re having another foggy morning.  It is already about 10:30 am and we’re not anywhere yet.  Rich has been working for the last 5-6 hours on his business and we woke up after he started.  We haven’t talked to him today about today stuff.  Oh there’s something!  We talked!  I had sent him a couple things I would need at his computer when I look at it again in regard to the hard to deal with emails.  Yesterday we started talking to tech at about 3:30 am in the morning – two people, but still don’t have things hooked up right.  They were ok on their register, but not much support for getting us hooked up to outlook.  They did send a brochure thingy so we’ll look at that when Rich isn’t at his computer.  We’re trying.

We were talking to Dr. Marvin about the effects of a new medicine we’re on called Gabapentin.  It is prescribed by Dr. Albright a week ago blah!

Ok, that was a STEP in the right direction.  We at least found our phone and the numbers to call for my elbows and back – both are supposed to get some kind of shots from two different locations.  My phone was out of battery – no surprise there, but then when we called the phone went buggy and started beeping so we are now charging at Rich’s station.  He doesn’t use it during the day.  Rich is making calls – so although I could scoot my chair over there and use it?  We’ll try.

Oh GOD Was that a long wait – It’s now 11:34 so about an hour except 2-3 paragraphs waiting to be told to leave a message – seriously it was a terrible service … they made you wait and wait hearing the same bad song over and over – it was music that was supposed to subliminally leave you more patient, but it left me irritated.  The phone started ringing like we were getting through to someone and then a lady answered the phone and it shifted me AFTER WAITING again – to a message machine that said we’ll call you back.  It’s a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE system!  So like an hour later and all I was able to do was drop a few hopeful phone numbers praying I got a hold of the right system. ARGH!!!

Ok girl slow down slow down!  Now is supposed to be the good part of the day – I DID take our medicine and we’re going to try relaxing by avoiding that last spectacle!  BOOO HISS HISS

Hmm, we seem to have lost a Rich … He did his showering thing, got dressed, ate lunch all in the time I was waiting on the phone, and then now he just left.  I think he has to pick up a new license plate for the boat and then he’s going there to work on fixing things, but because he won’t be home until about 5 pm – we figure he’s going to get some fishing in too – and then he says he’s bringing the boat back – eh what do I know.

Showed him his progressive light soups – I told him I don’t like them – the top 2/3 is broth, and then the bottom third is rice with a few pieces of chicken.  Just frustrated is all better not think of lunch either!

Now AFTER the weekend

Monday April 27, 2015 @ 10:27 am

Oh gosh did we have a terrible weekend.  We’re blaming it on the extra medicine, but maybe it was something else – We left a message with Dr. Marvin this morning, but Dr. Albright called anyway … she hadn’t heard the message, but she said that my triglycerides are off so we have to watch fatty food, but also that we needed to change a medicine dose for hypothyroid … that’s not overly important and doesn’t have anything to do with why we were so sick.  We had problems with the stool area, got the dry heaves, headaches and was very confused.  We slept for 18 hours Saturday and about 15 on Sunday.  So far we slept in until 7:30 am this morning and we’ve been up since and we are now sitting at our keyboard.  Over the weekend there were only two – ten minute periods.  So that wasn’t so good.  Plus of course the eating and drinking was way down.

The key thing is that we’re feeling better today.  The goal is to do the dishes and at least one load of clothes.  Not so sure of that yet, because we’re still feeling weak.

We’re back again but it is now about 3:15 pm – we will need to take our medicine in a few moments.  We can handle that right?  There done … AND we ate the last two peanut butter cookies Rich made for us over the weekend.  That’s how he could tell how sick we were the first day – just 2 cookies.  We have to get over all that now.  We did a few things around the house, but wasn’t overly productive today.  We did clean-up the kitchen, wash dishes, and cleared off the dining room table.  So then since we were there, we took care of all the paperwork including getting new statements into the computer.  AND, that included receipts.  We’re up to 4-26-15 YAY!!!  We did have to take a nap, but today we got to talk to Linda twice – didn’t do that during the weekend.  Just couldn’t sit up in a chair.

We didn’t get to any clothes today.  We’re doing much better though … AND we did read a little inside and outside in the sunroom.  When we were on the chair inside we fell asleep with the kindle standing straight up.  I’m wondering if we should try and go outside for a bit.  It would mean more reading than writing, but might make us feel better about getting the dog out.  Shoot, don’t think Rich brought up our chair yet.  Maybe not.  Nope chair is not out … that’s a little sad.  I could get it from the garage, not that big a deal – not sure where he put it AND we’d have to get dressed.  Not that that isn’t a good idea, just haven’t done it yet.  Been slacking.


Tuesday, April 21, 2015

They had a little kicker...

Monday, April 20, 2015 @ 11 am

Good morning.  This is just us.  It’s already way into 11 am and I’m thinking we’re kinda floaty.  We’re on a new medicine this morning to help the nerves in our feet, but we’ve been really sleepy like sitting here at the keyboard with hands resting on keys and just nodding out.  Everything seems a bit fuzzy and I don’t know what else to blame it on. 

Hmm, dog just whined so we took him out, but then he sat on the porch.  We encouraged him to “go on” so he went down the stairs, sat, and then just came up and looked at us.  I let him in.  I guess it was a false alarm.

I don’t know how we got here from such fuzzy places.  I think we must have signed off with Linda at about 10 am.  I hope not 9 am, because that would mean we’ve slept for 2 hours?  

Just saw Dakota snooping over by the garbage … just sniffing, so we made a sound and he came over guiltily and then laid on his back for us to pet his chest.  Ya Ya – I know a guilty dog when we see one.  AND, he had just gotten a treat from us.  We’ve been teaching him to pray, which means he gives us both paws and bows his head.  The head movement is natural for him and it’s a very cute trick.  Better, he’s laying down now in his watch over Ann spot. J

Heater went on when we opened the screen door to the sunroom.  It does feel a little chilly this morning.  Ahh, it’s 47 degrees today and won’t top 53.  Blah!  Looks cloudy for today, tomorrow and Wednesday, then a couple days of sunshine and then back to cloudy --- the warmest it will be is 63 a week from today – Hmm, another blah!  Is this spring temps?

Ok, went for a can of pop, but had added peanut butter too.  We’ve been hungry most of our waking hours this morning.  Ok, think, think … what happens next?

I think there are clean dishes in the dishwasher because there are dirty dishes on top of the counter … maybe we’ll stop there first.  Good thinking!

There … took about 7 ½ minutes of being up YAY!!!  We emptied the clean dishes out and put the dirty ones in and it made close enough a load so that we turned it on.  Good Ann – counters look pretty cleaned off, but we noticed on the way back the garbage is full and so is the kitchen table, so we’re thinking those kinds of things go next.  First a rest – our back did well, but we’re pretty dizzy and we did take another tiny little pill of about 81 whatever’s of low dose adult aspirins – I think the kind with NSAIDS.  I had thought the doctor had said no to that back when we had our ulcer, but maybe this is different because the level is so low … she had given the pharmacy a prescription, but they gave us over the counter because they said it was cheaper, but I don’t know how many of these to take and when.  We’ll have to figure that out today.

Also, to be figured out is Rich’s email … we told him we would do it today, but right now we’re just very dizzy and I don’t think I could do the trail of what we need to do to fix things.  Maybe later this afternoon - Yeeks, the side-effects on this medicine are a lot – it does cover the dizziness, drowsiness and troubles concentrating.

Yeeks, falling asleep at the keyboard again.  This is not good.  Better try to do something.  Hmm, time for my regular medicine and lunch that’s good.

Hmm, ham and cheese sandwich … this is different Dakota placed himself under my feet in case we drop something.  Good choice.


Monday, April 20, 2015

Learning and learning and what just happened?

Sunday, April 19, 2015 @ 7:53 am

Good morning.  This is us and we’re in pretty good form today.  We’ve been up for about two hours and we’ve done some work at cleaning things up on our desk.  Over the last few days, we’ve been working on our new web page under

We are happy with the effort.  It covers the basic features we’ve thought about and has something on every page, thought the pages are by no means full and we are lacking some of the depth we hope it to have eventually.  We still need to think through of the site being something more than gathering places for other things in our life to go.  The one’s we have though are pretty important.

The site starts off with a home link that welcomes the reader and gives the briefest of explanations of who we are, introduces Dr. M., and gives the reader some idea what we are working for that is new to us.  This area covers work just done in the multiple groups Plural Activism (PA), Plurality Resource Forum (PRF), and DreamWidth – Plurals (DW).  It also lists some of the actual programs we are now trying to use or learn including Adobe Muse, Microsoft Power Point, ProBoards Forum, Adobe Captivate and the e-learning LMS (Learning Management System) Latitude Learning. Lastly, there is a note of continuing work with Dakota – and a very nice picture of him too!

It is a substantial amount of work – for just a few days.  Some of the work had been saved through Muse from an earlier attempt to do a web site, but this time it seems to be working.  Part of all that trouble was getting the domain names to work on both this web site and Rich’s.  Unfortunately, we are still having trouble with the email addresses working, but that will most likely wait until tomorrow when we have access to their help services.

Hmm, not so good … it is now about 12:30 pm.  We did stop finally to start the washer and re-fluff the last load of clothes in the dryer.  But, other than that and a short talk with Linda, we’ve been obsessing over the “About Us” project on the web page.  We had included it and the link to the web on our FB page.  Some of our favorite people have stopped by and have been very complementary.  But, the obsessive editing is hard we’re like in a circle – we read through it find a couple small mistakes or changes, and then we have to read it over and over again.  Usually, this ends when we’re pretty demanding about changing if we can read it through without changing something.  We keep resaving it and updating the web site.  We’re trying not to be nutty, ok you that wasn’t a good sentence! 

Ok, we’re not nutty, but we can recognize that we have the obsessive tendencies.  It makes things just run in circles.  Gotta jump out of the loop until something will trigger us to looking at it again?  One of the things we do is reread it after every new person has gone by FB with a comment or a like message.  We read it because we need to calm us down that it would have sounded ok to the last person reading it.

We got into a bit of a scrimmage too in that one of the people from high school we had one time really appreciated as a best friend, doesn’t comment like some of our other friends.  She’s extremely smart, and then we compare ourselves with her and how successful her life is and that we’re just going in circles in our small pen.  It makes us feel terrible.  Sometimes we will realize she just has a terrific life in other circles, but today was harder, because one of her last entries was talking about a woman’s dinner party and we imagine it to be for successful women.  Then I feel sorry for ourselves and think we’re not very successful as we talk of going from one mental hospital to another.  But, I think this friend has long since written us off.  I know she has some background in woman’s issues, but because of severing realistic ties to us, we don’t consider her very sensitive.  But, then we get down on ourselves realizing that our relationship had for the most part ended in high school and she and her mother had had to help us through one of our depressions.  We feel we burnt her out.  What good would it do to remind her of how many times we’ve saved ourselves from suicide? 

And, for that matter, why are these important mile markers for us.  We felt throughout that every time we needed the services and found ourselves back in the hospital, we were doing a good Ann, but when you put all those times together, you can realize what a profoundly ridiculous life we’ve lead.  It doesn’t make us feel better that we were right back there a week ago.  What has life taught us or for that matter, will we ever be able to take care of ourselves.  We’ve never been able to see past Dr. M’s care, and then that just messes with the other parts we’ve just come through where we’ve been under a small microscope which owner’s decided we were too sick to function in their group of multiplicity.  It is probably not that bad, but this kind of thought pattern happens to us in-between things when we’re beating ourselves up for not being able to fit in again.

It’s just a very long shaky road.

Rich is fishing today – he left about 5:15 am and we’ve been up ever since.  Somewhere between floating here at the keyboard and the rest of the day – we keep going back to the parts where we haven’t managed to get those clean clothes put away and it is now 12:30 pm.  We expect Rich to be back at 3-4 pm and we haven’t been able to do the one thing that he’s asking us to do.  Then we think of our friend from high school and wonder how dominated she must see us as for being in a life where just doing the clothes for “our man” is the most important goal of the day. 

Shoot, shoot … why are we doing this to ourselves?  We need to stop.

It’s probably about time we could get the last load out of the dryer because it’s been fluffed enough, right?  Ok, girls … we can do this, right!??

Ok, a little bit further along.  We folded the last load of clothes and then brought the rack to the master bedroom closets where we put away the clothes ready to be put away.  We still have 7-8 shirts to steam, and the dresser items … as soon as our back is up to it – we’ll do those too.  Right?  We also need to do something about cleaning off the dining room table.  If we could get this much done today, it would be enough.  We had to go through a LOT of papers unfiled from the cubby hole in the last couple of days and that’s now all out on the dining room table really adding to some clutter.  Just would have to put ourselves in the mood.  Theoretically, we have the time to be doing it.  Clothes are ALMOST done and the dishwasher is going.  No dishes in the other room, though we could probably fold a few blankets.  Don’t want to over-push it … just working toward respectable today.  Keep putting off the steaming, but maybe one more day.  Tomorrow we should be doing something with the kitchen floor, now that I can see it.  Rich went over the living room carpet and the bedroom, though he didn’t do the wood parts or the bathroom, but sooner or later I’ve got to address this again.

BTW … there hasn’t been any conversation, but did you notice the previous blog entry where we posted the “Life Proposal” for Rich and us?  It is something he started on Friday.  I cried for 2-3 hours after.  There were a lot of emotions involved.  Mostly though I think it was the feelings of failure - Failure in a lot of different ways.  Mainly that I couldn’t keep up with Rich’s simple expectations, but then neither was he … I saw it as a clause to excuse us ever from getting married.  It should strike me as oh YAY – he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but in all reality it was more of a business arrangement something that Sheldon Cooper would write for Amy – this is how we are going to handle money and these are the job responsibilities I feel you must do. 

We talked about it when he got home for an almost another 3 hours.  It was hard not to be angry; we tried to follow his logic.  He wanted to go over the budget for the first three months – so basically, the two of us went over every expense listed in the bank statements and the credit card statements.  He wanted to say that we could be making money with the proposal so could have “free money”, and we wanted to say we would owe him money AND have to do 16 hours of working for him to boot.  We were angry about losing time that we feel we need to be accomplishing personal goals that give us a small image of success.  Plus, we were thinking how we usually get into arguments while doing things together, because Rich will want me to shortchange some process that I will believe needs more detail.  It’s just the differences in the way our minds work, but if we are working for him – that means we’ve lost twenty years again of being a couple and he’s AGAIN mostly the boss.

That’s about as much detail as we cover, but it is the general gist.  We did rewrite it so that it was more orderly and less about him trying to structure our days and more about him and I both doing some give and take.  He did take some unwanted things off my platter and he means that we do the same for him.  Well, one last thing the differences of income are very different even after things like alimony and his old house expense are taken care of, but he’s still making 3-4 times more profit AFTER all his expenses are paid than I am, which brings us back to thinking what is the fairness of me paying 50-50 on ALL the joint expenses AND mine without having nearly anything close to 50-50 on income.  Maybe for now it is just another sore spot.  But, I think when we rewrote the contract, and then Rich started to get nervous, because what happens he can’t afford the amount he’s agreed on – that business actually doesn’t go that well.  SO, we wrote a clause where if he couldn’t pay, then things go back to normal where I don’t work for him, and he just takes all my disability income for whatever it pays, but I don’t owe him extra because I’ve lost my Rich income.

I guess that’s about it.  We’ll see how it works.  One thing though is that it helped me to realize how much assistance he needs to make his goals and that the nice thing – money or not would be for me to help him.  The unfortunate part is that we’re in and out of ability to resolve problems so making ANY kind of commitment is very scary to us.  For example, we just put away the clothes, but it was like a 6 day process of them being out AND we still have some things to steam.  I’m just not any good at consistency. 

We also had problems yesterday when Rich headed out the door to go to the hardware store.  He said he needed something to reattach the door that had blown off with the wind and he needed something for weeds and bugs.  Usually, it’s fine … GREAT!  He’s taking care of something, but this time I felt panic.  Like how much is that going to cost?  Paying half of almost EVERYTHING means I have to be worried from anywhere from an exorbitant array of canned goods to extra gutters being needed for the house.  I’m not sure if we’re going to be able to handle that much extra stress.  Usually, we’re like – sure get whatever you need, but now that my income is going to pay for things it’s just plain harder.


Sunday, April 19, 2015

Ann & Rich Life Proposal


To maintain our life so we are happy, safe, and comfortable.  To work together without marriage with a common purpose to benefit each other.  To spend more time together and enjoy our surroundings.   To create financial, home and health goals toward retirement.  And, to appreciate personal time to partake in leisure time and personal activities.


Ann to be given $... each week ($... each 13 weeks) into her account for 16 hours of work per week for … @ $... an hour.  This money along with the $... for disability each month will remain in the account Rich maintains for Ann giving Rich sufficient time to pay bills for joint costs/split evenly 50-50 and Ann’s expenses.  Any “extraordinary” bills – such as housing maintenance needs will be discussed with as much time as possible to budget the expenses.  Rich will cover expenses with his account or joint credit card if necessary to balance accounts, but full and equal balance should be paid by both as soon as possible. Most money will be a paper transfer from Rich’s account to Ann’s, but both will have options of taking personal monies (after expenses) from checking account to savings, to bank cards, or cash.  If Rich is unable to complete the cost of reimbursing Ann, then the fee scale will be put on hold on a month to month basis, but as well, Ann will no longer be obligated to work 16 hours for …, or be responsible for any more than $... toward bills from her disability check.  She should do everything in her power to continue committing to other responsibilities as listed, as will Rich.


Joint: All interior and exterior household expenses including prior loan balance from Ann’s mother, window expense on … card, furniture expense at … and fitness equipment on … credit card account. Also covered are Equipment, housing materials including house, garage/driveway and lawn, cleaning supplies, hardware, house insurance, rent, and utilities (gas, electric, and satellite) and handyman repairs.  Included are all food (people home and restaurant/with receipt of expense) and animal’s (food and waste needs), medical, medicine, toiletries, entertainment, Rhapsody, vacations, Ann’s car and Ann’s repair on car, and both Ann and Rich’s car insurance. As well as computer software, hardware (that isn’t covered by business). As well clothes, haircuts, postal, non-work related gas and parking, medical, and insurance for Ann’s Supplemental, dental and medicine, and for Rich’s health and dental.  Veterinary expenses for both animals, including pet insurance. Gifts for family, with the exception of … and … with each “joint gift” cost not to exceed $....  Any balance over $... per person will be paid by the individual giving the gift.

Ann:  Gifts for Rich, Multiple Work or other Multiplicity projects, quilting expenses including fabric, supplies, equipment, weekend getaways, and services rendered such as quilting fees, unauthorized online service fees.  Cash out with no receipt.

Rich: Gifts for Ann, former house and it’s expenses, Alimony, life insurance to ex and family, loans for children, boat, trailer, motors, or other electronic equipment, boat insurance, or any other fishing costs related to sport including time spent out of house on short or extended trips.  Cash out with no receipt.

Business: All business expenses including customers, shops, labor, taxes, past due loans (…) or other facilities, materials, supplies, trucking, SUV and business allowance of gas, phone, internet, Microsoft and Adobe for business. Anything that can be fairly claimed as a business deduction.


Ann and Rich will each keep a bank card and two credit cards, and they will both get an American Express card for joint expenses.  Ann and Rich will both take petty cash as agreed, but primarily Ann will supplement her spending money on her debit card to the second checking account.  Each will receive petty cash in the amount justified by their private account balances.  All personal credit cards and petty cash will be considered separate as a Rich or Ann personal expense. 


Ann:  All interior household duties in all rooms from 5’6” down to the floor (i.e. picking-up and clearing/cleaning flat spaces, sweeping, polishing, vacuuming, dusting), laundry (i.e. retrieving, washing, drying, steaming, mending and putting away), daily (as often as possible) litter box litter/garbage to sunroom and dishes.  Will track all expenses through credit card statements, bank statements and cash receipts. Will coordinate household and business paper files, documentation on paper, and on computer including all expenses.  She will be the IT coordinator for … and in the future will assist … with marketing online (working alone or beside Rich), will as well do other business objectives up to a total, but no more than 16 hours per week @ $... per hour.  Time includes business meetings. Ann will continue as best she can to keep herself physically and mentally healthy (such as fitness goals and seeing doctor’s regularly as scheduled).  Will take all responsibility for the dog – other than discussed below, and with the exception of the last trip outdoors at bedtime or approximately 10-10:30 pm which will be taken care of by Rich as part of his process of shutting down the house.  Ann will not owe Rich money in excess of $... a month ($... income plus $... disability) for joint expenses unless agreed (i.e. making payments). Will coordinate self-workload while trying to accommodate the other when at all possible.  Will have the option to pay for self-responsible duties at one’s own personal cost. 

Rich:  Will be responsible, own and manage … while setting optimistic goals.  All interior household duties from 5’6” up to the ceiling (i.e. cleaning and or dusting) as well as windows, tubs, toilets (including floor surrounding toilet) and sinks.  He will be responsible for getting garbage out from sunroom to outside garbage container and the container to and from pick-up space.  As well all outdoor/garage work he hasn’t contracted out (including dog area), shopping for food and household items not purchased by Ann on Internet, and for cooking one dinner meal (unless it is agreeable to eat out) starting by approximately 5 pm if at all possible.  Rich will assume care of the cat’s eating.  Will coordinate self-workload while trying to accommodate the other when at all possible.  Will have the option to pay for self-responsible duties at one’s own personal cost.


Friday, April 17, 2015

It all starts with a little conversation

Wednesday, April 15, 2015 @ 9:50 AM

Good morning.  It’s not quite 10 am yet and we’re done with the morning stuff, plus into that more than we would like … Just back to vaguely searching around FB for something important, but we didn’t see it.

We did have oatmeal for breakfast, but now that Rich is in the shower, we’re having ice cream too.  Yup, yup you know it’s going to be one of those days.  We did talk to Linda … she’s planning to sew and be out today – I have to give her a lot of credit for that.  As to us, we had nothing we wanted to put on the agenda … she suggested, sewing, writing or cleaning and all we could do is confirm those were the normal suspects.  So here we are anyway … I guess writing has won out over other things, though usually soon behind that comes cleaning.  Won’t do any machines though with Rich in the shower.  YAY – Excuse #1.

Hmm, ice cream is gone – we grabbed a pop and let Dakota out in the sunroom.  Pretty sure that Rich is going to come by and say that it’s too cold.  But, we seem to be running that mood where eh, everything is fine – just let it alone.  Thinking this morning that we’re like in our invisible mode.  I’m assuming Rich got up at 5 am, we were up at 3 am, but went to bed soon after.  Then it wasn’t until about 8 am that we Really got up, took care of the dog and got our medicine – maybe a little before that … Linda came sometime shortly after 8 am, and then we were off til 9 am, and then as stated monkeying around and now it’s 10 am.  Doesn’t seem we’re getting anywhere too fast.

Linda said she and one of the twins might not be going to the Saturday sew … We thought then should we really go.  I don’t know about CS – she’s been trying to get there, though she doesn’t usually commit until the end.  That means if we’re lucky there are three of us and then the room is like $25 each, plus another $100 for overnight, and about $25-30 for meals AND there’s another $25 to fill the gas tanks.  So, all in all … $175 … it’s a lot out for not many being there.  I do think that these three left would be enough of a “Value” to going, just in the present mood we’re not thinking of doing or liking anything.  Just not sure.  I don’t think we’ve talked to Rich about it yet.  Linda said she’d talk to the girls on Saturday, but …

Hmm, we just wrote a short note … couldn’t get really up about it, but we don’t see the point of waiting 3 more days – though it’s likely it will take that long to get news.  I don’t know maybe Linda is meeting one of the twins in person?  Kinda leaves us hanging though.  Who knows – I need my sunnier mood to come back.

I think we are feeling a bit of leftover from last week with the PA group.  We’ve not been able to think much past it.  We did talk to Jim a little bit, but more that he was trying to figure out what happened.  We shared some stuff for him to read.  I don’t know what else is going on – he didn’t share, nor did I ask what was happening in the group without me.  At this point, it has to be none-of-my business.

Hmm, Linda is now stating she will be there, but might leave at 7-8 pm.  That would be very helpful.  Maybe some of the others would respond too.

Yesterday was a day with Dr. Marvin and one of the first things and then dragged into the session by us was what had happened on Friday.  I think we explained it before that we’d taken extra medicine because we wanted to sleep – that always has deeper ramifications for us that come up in Dr. M and our talking level.  That part of the session was very hard and slowed us down quite a bit.  Then we were doing a lot of talking about what had happened in the group and from his perspective I could see him the last 15 minutes or so trying to make things a little more optimistic as to looking for another shift in attention to a new project.

We weren’t into it yet though and didn’t really want to hear it at all.  It seemed the best time was taking distraction time with Dakota – we showed Dr. Marvin that he could now rollover.  It somehow feels that the care we can give him in petting, water, or treats is somehow fixing us too.  Should probably share that with Dr. Marvin

Also, we had some problems because of the drive and our arms – around the elbow level.  Having them up in the driving position hurt a lot – and it was tiring us out … we spent quite a while thinking or asking ourselves – where could we pull over that wouldn’t drive the dog crazy for just us getting some sleep. We made it home – but, just because we had to quick stop and that jarred our attention.  We almost were in an accident too – didn’t tell Rich or Dr. M, but on Wood street where the parking garage is we were going straight and someone from one of the side streets didn’t realize I had no stop sign and came into the intersection.  We both stopped, I yelled at him – I don’t have a stop sign – they looked and then they realized it was their fault, but we’d both stopped in time, so I just went on.  It was pretty screechy brakes scary. 

Hmm, Rich forgot his keys so just came in so we told him.  He just said you gotta be careful, and agreed he was dumb.  I guess we can move on then?

So now it’s 10:40 am, Rich is gone until about 5 pm.  We didn’t have a chance to talk today at all because he’s so crazy busy with work stuff.  He’s already put in a 5-6 hour day and we’re not even started.  BLAH.  We should probably really do something about getting the machines going.  That be a start, right?  Maybe first the washing machine. 

There 6 minutes and we cleaned up the bedroom floor, started the washing machine and started the dishwasher.  Rich put our fancy glasses on the bottom – eh we’ll see if they break or wash or neither.  Too raggedy to deal with it.  He’s already using the pan wash because the machine wasn’t cleaning enough – I don’t think it’s working proper, but he’s the one that’s got to pay the bill. 

Still feel pretty low for getting so much done in one quick trip.  This might take a little while, but hoping that we can write/work our way out of it.  Dr. Marvin was asking us what we had liked about what we were doing before.  I told him that we’d liked the conversation part – it was long and tedious, but we liked figuring out what we thought people were trying to say and then placing it in the write order as if the conversation were happening.  I think that kind of thing has to happen more often, but then when we looked over the conversation that was happening, it wasn’t enough information to make it coherent and it seemed that people get really distracted writing on the message board – a lot of times people stop to tell their stories which isn’t a bad thing, but take the question at hand off task, and we are to blame for that kind of thing happening too.

We talked to him after he suggested that we had what it took to start our own conversation like the message board, but we’d told him we’d processed that already a bit on our own.  Basically the message board is free, but we’d have to host it on our own web page and that would cost money – the site we followed down was like $170 a year, plus we’d have to do all the figuring out and there is no motive for people to come.  Plurality Resource Forum is already up and encounters a lot of multiples, but the difference would be that in mine people could talk in public.  From what I gathered at PRF – most multiples couldn’t do that.  So it kind of leaves a very blank space between a real conversation and being public.  It’s not very much of a conversation if we can’t say the stuff out loud.  I really don’t know how to get past that point. 

We’ve also taken a hit to our confidence.  The whole thing with PA had sounded real as if it were going to happen and there was some structure to it, but the structure wasn’t sound.  And, the leadership wasn’t working together.  I think what Dr. Marvin and Rich are trying to say is that we should work on our own project so that we can maintain some control of it, but it still have to be a lot as to people getting along, but in all reality – I don’t see people being there.  Again very little motivation to talk amongst so few people that would dare to speak out loud – even if they masked their names. 


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

This one goes back to Sunday ...

Sunday, April 12, 2015 @ 11:46 am

Good morning or what’s very quickly slipping away from it.  Here we are and we’re like ok, what is happening?  Not really sure until we start putting it together.  Looking at the blog, we seem to have written about 9 days ago. It was on a Friday and we had included a lot of pictures catching us up. 

I think the biggest thing between then and now is that we have dropped out of the Plural Activism PA group.  We were really frustrated.  At first – we’d been working on a couple of entries over at Plural Resource Forum (PRF) and hadn’t been paying overly close attention to the entries going through Yahoo conversations and then to emails.  We had a meeting on the phone with Dr. Marvin, and we’d mentioned that we thought there was some negative stuff going on, but we hadn’t looked at it carefully.  So then, after we got off the phone, we started piecing through a series of conversations that included about 20 different emails AND, we were part of those emails, but hadn’t looked closely at the big picture, until we broke it down.  And, then at that point, we felt very angry, frustrated, and had other emotions mostly disappointed and hurt. 

We reached a snapping point of sensing our own self survival.  I think basically to sum things up – we didn’t feel it was anyone else’s job to question us on our connection to DID so that we could be accepted.  We’d been diagnosed 25 years ago and it’s been a part of us ever since.  There is a lot of work we’ve done trying to understand the “medical model” and as far as all that – we are DID.  There’s a lot more, but that’s on our mind at the moment. 

Plus, we thought honestly that we received Dr. Marvin’s services partly because of the DID, there is depression, anxiety, a little obsessive/compulsive, plus PTSD as well, but he signs the forms, they go to my insurance company and he then gets paid.  It is something of a reality.  AND, we’re on disability.  All the diagnosis went in together, so I’m not sure what part makes us “disabled” but DID was included.  I don’t believe I’m disordered - though we have been at times.  I think it’s like health where it’s a day to day thing.  As long as all our ducks are in order we’re healthy, if we start denying or dissociating so that we’re not balanced, then we’re less healthy, but that isn’t a form and function of DID, that’s just how we’re doing day to day.  I can no longer work for an income, but we can and do think and try to contribute back toward society.  We cannot work, doesn’t mean we aren’t or can’t be proud of other accomplishments.  Part of leaving the group though is common with our problems for working with people.  We just get so frustrated and then, we just want to be on our own with very little contact with much of anyone.

The really frustrating part was that the group didn’t feel that someone could be DID and healthy, because DID meant to them their own stereotyped - disordered, sick, mentally ill, etc.  They couldn’t accept that there were other ways of defining DID, such as what it meant to us.  We’d tried the night before, but then it was used as something to prove with our disagreement, we weren’t a part of them as “healthy multiples.” 

There was then what seemed like trial, jury, and we were out – they were stating that we hurt their reputation and such.  The group structure had changed.  Part of the leadership was gone and not commenting (Jim was taking care of a family matter – and it was understandable why he was gone).  One of the leadership tried to say we were healthy, so was pushing us against our will that we must or shouldn’t be considering ourselves DID, because it didn’t fit with her understanding of DID.  I think the newer ones – are in a process of taking over with exclusive thoughts – though they are trying to give the appearance of being accepting.  They didn’t want anything to do with mental illness – at least their concepts of it.  But the bottom line there was that I didn’t want to deal with that kind of stereotyping and we had felt discriminated, because we were on the outside of someone’s description of “someone like us – with DID.” We were no longer a part of the group – we were someone they were putting up with.

I just, we just, don’t need that sort of thing, and I didn’t think it was my duty to change their minds.  They are where they are.  Best to let it go.  I had felt I had done a lot of work, and certainly we weren’t feeling mentally ill.  Ok, you … let it go.  Maybe later, but for now … this is enough of that.

I have made a couple of in-depth articles on PRF.  My understanding is that I can do with what I want of my stuff, but I don’t feel good about sharing it here, because there is enough paraphrasing of what other people are saying, so that I don’t want to confuse the boundaries of what should and should not stay in the group.  We’re going to play it safe.
AHA!  Something has improved.  We took a shower!  Yay!  That felt good.  And, we washed dishes, and we started the process of crushing cans with the can crusher Rich got us.  We are saving up cans for Isa and her Girl Scout troop.  Figured the whole can was starting to take over.  We got a garbage can/bag for them out in the sunroom, but there are now a couple bags and a bunch on the cupboard.  We’ll get them broken down – but maybe kitty litter next.  BLAH!  Tonight is garbage night though – they come right away at about 6 am Monday morning.  Best to do it now before Rich comes home.

Yup yup … Rich has been out for the weekend.  He had a fishing trip at Lake Newton – about 4 hours south of here – toward the Springfield capital, I think.  He forgot his phone, so we’ve been in a little more touch with him – talking to him on his partner’s phone.  That has worked out pretty good.  It’s about 12:30 pm now and his fishing gets over at 1 pm.  They still have to weigh in, but then it will be four hours back so we’re thinking anytime between 6-8 pm.  Hoping they don’t have any trouble … there was something going on with his battery and he confessed last night to a small electrical fire when they were out on the boat.  PSWHOO!!!  That’s the kind of thing that’s going to annoy your girlfriend!

We made our decision on Thursday night, and then had to deal with the weekend ramifications.  We talked to Dr. Marvin on Friday morning, but the system in general wanted to shut down and just sleep.  We’d found some old pills (Haldor) that Dr. Marvin had tried us on – back in 2013.  We had gotten then about 10 pills in and decided we didn’t want anything to do with them, but all of a sudden they seemed very good to help us sleep.  We had to go through a tough session with Dr. Marvin about what that meant and it meant that no we weren’t going to the hospital, but we had to call in Friday night before he left for work to confirm we were ok.  That was a grumpy moment – day mostly, but we deserved it.  We told Dr. Marvin we were going to take one every 4-5 hours, but that wasn’t going to kill us.  He knew we were right though he certainly isn’t going to be happy with what we did.  We didn’t know how to handle the anger and just wanted to sleep.  We had come to the earlier than not conclusion that we couldn’t be totally gone, because no one would be here to take care of Dakota. 

This is the hard part about the chronic depression.  Too much will put us over.  We were taking too much medicine Friday and Saturday, but by this morning, we were able to get back to normal doses.  We’re just letting the other stuff out of our system.  We left Dr. Marvin a note that we were getting back to normal and that we’d analyzed and then synthesized using the last 12 entries from PRF … so basically, we had written a article or whatever.  We posted it last night and then about 9:30 pm fell asleep in the LR with Dakota (w/o TV) on the couch.  That seemed to help at least go through a process where we were thinking and writing. 

We don’t really know what is going to happen next as to our “work load.”  I think the most disappointing part is losing our sense of “The Multiple Conversation” (TMC).  There was nothing that would have benefited the PA group from something left incomplete that they couldn’t duplicate, so I took that form and a few others down.  I did leave a copy of the 20 emails – sorted out in “Ann think.”  I wanted them to know what I’d heard.  I didn’t explain, I just told them I was leaving the group.  One wrote a couple of times, but I asked Jim to tell her we were out of contact.  She’s honored that boundary.  Right now we don’t want to discuss it or think of going back.  Just don’t want to, which means that we’re going to have to settle our mind about what happens next.

We entered a few google searches into the Multiples’ Mind Map (MMM), but that didn’t feel very satisfactory.  Maybe it will later, but we’ve been doing more analyzing and then writing.  That has been more exciting for us.  One of the women who’d been in-between the PA group and the PRF got a rough enough draft as to what happened and she said that the group had two objectives – basically to meet with DiCaprio and to raise general public awareness for “healthy multiples.”

Hmm, one of the PRF members who had written a lot before wrote back.  She seemed to take offense by a few things – one of the things we took offense in, but as well she didn’t seem to like that I had quartered off the topics of “redemption” and “forgiveness” as religious.  She might have preferred spiritual, but obviously she hasn’t the same hang-ups as I do over those kinds of concepts.  She also seems more interested in doing something with the Milligan movie as to advocacy than I might.  She seems to have connections in public health.  I hope that works for her. 

Moving on – doesn’t seem anything I really have to respond back to.  She was just stating her own opinions.  No problems there.

Ok, now it is about 1:12 pm and we still haven’t emptied the litter box.  So we want to do that yet, girls?  Soft whimpering…  We could provide ice cream after?  Quicker whimpering.  Now we’ve made sort of a hot spot issue button.  Maybe later – works for me – later we’ll have the ice cream.  Let’s set a goal though at about 2:30 pm, hmm?  That’ll work?  Great!

Poor Dakota is still waiting by the door for Rich to come home.  He seems pretty helpless.  He will come and sit with us, but otherwise if we’re not on the couch (usually proofreading something) then he is out in the sunroom – hmm, remember now we were going to do some more cans too.  Hmm, things are now jumbling up. 

There … we did the kitty litter and the garbage.  Next is to both rinse the cans and break off the tabs for the cans sitting on the counter, OR emptying the dishwasher.  Not sure if it isn’t still drying.  And, we got to make sure the counters are all good and any extra dishes find their way to the empty dishwasher and we’ve got more cans to crush.  BUT, we are doing better than the rest of the week, right?  With all the work with the PA group, we’ve had a harder than normal time doing regular stuff.  We did check the laundry when we were in the bathroom closet and it seems it will be fine until tomorrow – there will be fishing stuff to wash right away too.  There … these are the old familiar thoughts, right?  We can do this, right?

We heated up coffee from this morning too.  Seemed without Rich there was too much to have just left sit.  We didn’t fill-it up this time, but I guess we’ve only been drinking 1-2 cups a day.  Hmm, might want to fold some blankets and clean of the dining room table too.  AND, there are some clothes on the bedroom floor – there that’s all possible, right?  Ok, ok … I’m pushing our luck.  Just saying is all.  Wouldn’t take much to clean it all up!  Noooo, if we were going to do the e-broom – that would be tomorrow.  It can wait.  See, we’re easy!

We turned on our songs of hope on Rhapsody too.  We haven’t had the TV on very much since Rich has left.  We figured, we better get used to sound again so we aren’t cranky.  Two hours until the next medicine.

Do we miss Rich?  Sure!  Of course, but there is something nice about some good old fashioned Ann time too.  I didn’t expect Dakota was going to have so much problems without Rich coming home.  A lot of window watching and one time he brought out something clothing like and personal – the only thing we could figure was that he was helping us get dressed, he just had the tiniest piece gently in his mouth.  Definitely, trying to communicate with us.  Poor boy.  Rich adds diversity to the house.  Now it’s 1:30 pm. 

Next goal?  Hmm, let’s check out the dishwasher.  Good it’s dried.  We’ll get to that next.  We left the door open for it to cool.  Not much problem there.  It will be easier to get the cans if the few stray dishes are off the counter first, and then we can clean the counter, AND the table.  THEN next time do the bedroom floors and blankets in the living room and Study – AND THEN!!!  We’ll be done enough to make Rich happy.  REALLY ecstatic would be doing Dakota’s lawn too, but maybe we’ll check getting dressed tomorrow and doing it.  I wonder what the temp will be.

Wow, it is 68 out there now and cloudy, but tomorrow it might rain a little.  Hmm, rain in the midnight to 9 am rain possible.  We’ll see how it looks at 10 am, maybe we can put that off until Wed?  Ahh that looks good – more rain on Thurs, but not too bad.  Try not to do too much on the days we go into Dr. Marvin’s.  Good we’re clear – then Wednesday doggie doo.

Then tomorrow – laundry and sweeping.  That sounds fair.  One of the next times up we better make sure the sweeper is fully charged.  That be a good deal.  Wow!  A real plan! Hmm, if it were a REALLY REAL plan – we’d sew up a few things for Rich tomorrow AND get done with the steaming as we are washing clothes.  That seems like a lot, but we’ll see.  Nothing else much on the agenda.

You can always tell we’re back, because we are also organizing housework.  I know how exciting can that be?!  Hehehe – Well, it certainly does excite Rich!  Thatta boy … he’s coming home sooner than later now.  YAY!!!  It’s no problem if the house is clean.

Ok, anything else we have to write about for this last 9 days? 

I guess we could say that the day after Easter we went out in the boat with Rich and Dakota.  Dakota was very good and interested in what was going on, but as well, he rested at the appropriate times too.  He was a good dog.  This is a couple pictures!  These are my favorite three – first time we think sniffing a fish!

We’re back.  I’m not sure of all the places we’ve been, but we did do the dishwasher and we did the cans on the counter and cleaned the counter – think we already told you we did litter and garbage.  There were a couple more comments on PRF, but it didn’t seem like anyone was really talking to me – hehe at least in a way I’d respond back.  We’ve pet Dakota for a while, and we posted his pictures on the adopted site – where he was adopted from.  We poked around facebook a little too – seems like it’s a slow news day over there.  Ohhhh and Hillary Clinton is officially running for President YAY WOWAN!  Go for it!  Very excited about that surprisingly.  We also watched a couple of videos and that was fun – I think it was part of our get well therapy.


Friday, April 3, 2015

What's a month got to do with it

Friday, April 3, 2015 @ 6:33 am

Good morning.  This is me.  Well one of us.  I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve written.  We checked back and the last date was Saturday, February 21 this year. 

Hmm, someone keeps saying while flopping head from left to right, “Why? Why? Why? Why?”  You sort of got the drift.  Rich had come out and pretty much on demand needed a set of clothes steamed.  Now that the chore is done we can say for pretty sure that this pants and shirt had already been steamed before, BUT he has a big meeting today and must have wanted to get out free-standing in closet wrinkles too.  *sigh*. 

Hmm some more … after reading the note, we remembered that we used to use the outlook task file to keep things in order.  BLAH!  Looks like we’ve lost about 6 weeks’ time.  I hate that when it happens.

Ok, email was too hard for the second because the dates aren’t showing up in the old mail column – have to open one at a time to get back to the date, but then we remembered that within that last week of having posted and completed the tasks in outlook we had found the DiCaprio story of him taking the role in the Milligan movie.  AHA.  That was confirmed by going back to the mind map.  Then we thought that we could go back to the Yahoo PA group and see what was happening there. 

On February 27th, we had written “What I know about Multiplicity Today” (from 2-24-15 – Day 55).  So that was about the time we were feeling good enough to be doing something other than struggling through with housekeeping.  I don’t remember what it was all about, but I think it had something to do with what we were getting from going back and doing the Google Searches again.  This is hard.  I don’t know what we’d do if there wasn’t some kind of a paper trail.

Hmm, Rich left – things seem to be falling in place.  We have the full day ahead of us … it does seem kind of gloomy out there as to not much light coming into the house.  We asked Rich to leave open the sunroom door – that’s a little bit cooler for now, but we like the fresher air and that Dakota can go out there at his leisure.  He likes watching Rich leave – and then he’ll come back and lie down by me because he’s just that swell of a dog.  He really goes after Rich before he leaves for his pets and stuff because he seems to know when Rich is going by him getting dressed, putting on his shoes, and gathering his things.  BUT, again, he really knows he’s supposed to stay and take care of me.  We’ll get back to that later – wanted to write a note about Dakota going out in the garage with Rich Hehehe.

So anyway back to the sleuthing.  We pushed through the posts until we found another one in the PA group that’s dated March 3rd.  This is what it said. 

We were just brought into awareness that Billy Milligan died mid-December last year.  I don't know if anything has been said here about it - Astraea you are very well informed of these kinds of things.  The last couple of days there has been a flourish in the news about Leonardo DiCaprio playing Billy in a movie called, "A Crowded Room."  I was wondering if anyone had thoughts about this...

For us we first saw our frustration with it because they news is not only about him Leonardo, but that he will be in Oscar nomination for this role - much like they'd said about Halley Berry with her role as a Multiple.  After all the negative press about the reality of Multiples or not - we're thinking that if an actor can win representing one - then that is a good deal?  I don't know.  I think the other part is that as you know Billy started the whole insanity deal with Multiplicity back in what - the 70's?  All that is going to be coming up again in the news and over the Internet - as to Multiples - fake or not taking advantage of something that isn't fair - killing without being responsible.  Personally, we think murder is murder and should be punished no matter who you are, but I am pretty distraught that the argument is going to be played out really negatively for the community.  I don't know Billy's story - after he was imprisoned in a mental hospital or for that matter let out of one.  I don't know if Leonardo is going to make him into a hero or a heel.  Just extra thoughts.

Has anyone else followed this with thoughts?

Our best,
Before Rich left, we told him we were trying to piece out what had happened to us and he said, “I know what it was – it’s that group.”  Yikes that doesn’t sound friendly!  I think he’s equalizing “Yes group, no steaming of clothes.”  I wish it didn’t work out that way, but it really does seem that the people who do stuff like with the group, aren’t the same people that do writing and housecleaning.  We’ve been getting some stuff done, but nothing spectacular – just a bare bones maintenance like making sure things are picked up and the dishes are washed.  Clothes haven’t fared so well. 

I think this is why when we talked to Dr. Marvin for 15 minutes on the phone – most of it was on simple things like taking a shower and doing kitty litter and such.  Back in the days of using the task list, we were muscling through those obstacles.  I don’t know how sturdy we were though unless we read back further, just don’t have much interest in it.  One thing for sure and that is the blogging has been real spotty. 

I think the curiousness of going back to it is for one Rich really pushing through to find the one or more of us that can steam and then too the newer members – as much as we can tell that have been doing more writing in their own blogs and stuff.  It seems there is a lot more introspection going on – and maybe that could be a good thing for us.  Just we have to take the time out of what we are doing to explore some of what they are talking about.  Seems they really need people to listen.  I think they are connecting to the group through the advocacy, but in return see that there are others like them that can go into meta-thoughts. Forget the term for “thinking about thinking.”  Oh yes, “meta-cognition.”  Thanks! 

I can’t seem to straighten out who is who from who on the board.  Maybe we can shed some light on that today.  I’d like to know this much at least and what people are in general thinking of.  Just seems it would really be considerate.  I know that Kelsie and Lissa have been out with the “workload” part of the group, but I’m not as connected to all that as them.  I’m thinking they might have needed a break or I wouldn’t be out (Corey).  Thinking that Anniemie is the major contributor of the domestic Goddess thing.  I don’t know thinking about this sort of thing makes my head spin.  It shouldn’t just I guess I’m a little rusty.

OH and YES, we’ve taken our medicine.  That was back during the time someone was mournfully repeating, “Why?  Why?  Why? Etc.”  Ok, you had to know that was going to happen, right?

I’m getting a slight faint message that says, Start the washing machine!  But, that’s not something I feel I could handle right now.  This is what I know of all that.  Ok, that’s not too much of anything.  I saw that Rich had a load of what we assume to be clean clothes in the dirty clothes basket (the one for wet icky towels).  I think we’re going to have to rewash that.  I am guessing there is something in the dryer, and we’d be HOPING there isn’t anything in the washer, because then it would have to be rewashed too.  And, we’re guessing there is something in the clean clothes basket, but if there were, we’d be thinking it should go back to the dryer to be refluffed.

Oh Lordy that is a lot of thinking, but it is further progressed then it has been in a couple of weeks.  I know we did take one of the weeks not to far back to progress the laundry partially through the machines, but then we lost the ability to see it through so nothing was getting folded or hung up and certainly things weren’t steamed.  That’s about when the backload started.  I think Rich has been FINDING one set of underwear at a time because we didn’t get the clean stuff put aside.  Then a day or two ago, we looked in the closet toward the bins where the dirty clothes are and he has it WAY stacked up on top of the bins so we can’t reach it. 

Now that I’m thinking of it – part of this I believe is because our elbow area has been hurting so much so that pulling wet clothes or bundles even of the dry clothes from the machines have been painful AND the part of folding and hanging seem excruciating.  But, if we admit to that, then someone is going to think we should finally go to the doctors and have them checked.  The marker date for that all was they started hurting before going to that first sewing trip of the year.  We had been cutting out fabric – and they really started to hurt – we’re figuring from overuse, just no matter how much we use the elbows now they are hurting and we’re getting more used to the pain – just stuff around us has suffered as we backed away from all that.  If I were to tell a doctor, hmm, should figure out the date.  Ahh sewing on the 7th so that means the elbows have been giving us trouble since the start of February.  That can’t be good L  But, what if she told us to stop using our hands or something AND what are we going to do about the dog.  What is our clinics policy on service dogs?  Will he be allowed to go in the examination room? 

Hmm, maybe we should try and check in with that today.  I know we backed off going to the doctor’s office last year with thoughts of surgery and such – she had done the cat scan of our back and had found about three problems with it, but we can’t remember what exactly the other two problems were other than arthritis.  I do know that when more recently we went and checked out the “Patient Like Me” space on the Internet, we had to go back and list all our medical situations.  It read like a tombstone.  I know that all had to do with Quantified Self which we’d really bounced into heavy – I don’t know maybe for a month or so?  All that seemed to stop when we got back into the group work with Milligan.  That seems to have been going on pretty steady since then – though we then lost our rediscovered ability to do the Google search’s in the mind map.

We might need to go back and reprioritize some stuff.  One would think we have all the time in the world for being a non-go-out-to-work person.  BUT, it seems we’re always behind something or another.  I think something like that was said to Dr. Marvin, because we remember him dusting off some conversations on balance.  I know he is talking about getting more parts out for perhaps shorter periods, but getting more parts out to accomplish more in general.  That really frightens the hell out of some.  Kelsie is really mad for example, that I’ve been given permission to do some blogging, because that takes her off her schedule.

I think she was even having trouble though putting it in perspective, because one of the things she was doing yesterday was putting together a check list for the meetings she’d worked with and the meetings she hadn’t.  Off the top of my head – the first three meetings were crossed off as processed (whatever that means) and then she had done yesterday the processing of the next two meetings, and then there must have been 5 left.  I don’t remember that part – just that she’d said 5 of 10 were finished.  Maybe there were a couple more unfinished, before the two she’d done.  I suppose it would be a matter of going over to the table I HEAR to check it out … don’t really want to do that, but I do need to get something to drink too, right?  BRB

There a clean sweep ... hmm,except we forgot to feed the dog.  For the record though we brought back her sheets from the work she’s been doing and yes, I know it would help to figure out what it is all about, but I don’t want her to jump in and take away the time I’ve finally earned to be writing in the blog.  Other things?  My feet were complaining they were cold – don’t know who that was, but we put on the pink socks and we treated ourselves to orange pop.  Rich did a number on the coffee made before he left, so WOOHOO – orange pop at 8:11 am in the morning!  Medicine’s been taken, showered yesterday, hmm, laundry?  Oh Lord, please don’t make me do the laundry?  What happens if we just figure out what’s in the machines and two baskets and see if we can get all that through again?  We’re thinking everything has to be rewashed – at least that’s the pounding in my head. It seems like a LOT of work – ESPECIALLYL if its going to come out of my writing time!

Ok, that was a bit frustrating – one because I had to think a couple hard seconds, and second – it GOD DAMN HURTS!  I know not like me to swear – well maybe Jamie???!!!  She wrapped us up like a couple of mummies.  We’ve got two ace bandages – one on each wrist.  Actually, feels better for typing, but it makes drinking orange pop hard!  We also found just a few clothes in the dryer – and NOTHING YAY!!! In the washer.  At least things weren’t mildewing.  Rich must have taken out all his tshirts, socks and underwear because things seem to have processed through there a bit.  We’re thinking that Rich might have hung some of his things on hangers, because there are only a few things left on the parallel bars.  Not sure if he did stuff with our stuff, but that’s something we’re going to have to figure out yet.

I left to fold those few things in the dryer, and we put the clothes that had been placed in the dirty laundry basket, back in the water.  Hmm, not sure we like the sound of the washing machine.  Is something unbalanced already?  That wasn’t a very heavy load.  The next problem would be – yes, we took the bars out of the laundry area so we could work, but the next problem would be getting dirty clothes to the washing area.  AND THEN, making sure the counters are clean so we could fold the clothes too.  Maybe in a little bit – head feels overwhelmed and I think we’re going to need extra arthritis medicine today. HMPF!  It’s 8:27 am … lets set a goal for kitchen by 8:45 am.  Rich said something about starting the dishes today.  Seems it was just yesterday we put some dirty ones in there, but he’s right.  I don’t think we started it.  Remind us again how satisfying getting things done feels?

Ok, just GOTTA think of something less horrifying.  I’ve done my share!

It seems that the meetings that got done are 1, 2, 3, 6 & 7, leaving meetings undone 4, 5, 8, 9 & 10.  Happy?!!  I think that’s where things got confusing.  Someone wanted to stay on the couch with feet up yesterday, so we processed getting 6 & 7 processed with the first three – we just put numbers where things should get copy and pasted, and then we went back and put in topic headings in front of the numbered conversation to the right.  Maybe it would have been more helpful to do that all along, but there was a process of trying to group things together that was from somebody else’s perspective first.  I guess they didn’t want to be tied down in a topic heading that might work for the first few items, but dislodged by the next.  Thatta girl – processing!  BUT now those two things – the new statements, and the new headings have to get entered in and the last five meetings have to be processed too.  SOOO, we have a start in mind for all that AND the Washing machine is going YAY!!!  Checked time – only 8:32 am – free moments!

Ahh checked the survey monkey.  Each of the two surveys have had one more person(s) who responded. It seems like the 4th person on the wiki is also agreeing there should be something done, and she’s stating that a good name might be “pluralpedia”  I wonder if we’re going that far if we could do “pluralmedia” to avoid the sound of like pediatrics.  This is a description of the word “media”: (usually used with a plural verb) the means of communication, as radio and television, newspapers, and magazines that reach or influence people widely:  Kind of a ploy for terms with “plural” the first part and “plural” as in used with a plural verb.  I like the part of media reaching or influencing people widely – think that’s something we’d want the wiki to do.  Pedia only means a crystal form having one face. 

We left it as a suggestion. J  Not sure what to do next.  Voting is up for 8 more hours.  Wonder if we should put out another “Do the Vote thing.”

There done.  Ready to move on.

Pshwoo been AFK.  Don’t know what we did, but feel tired.  Ahh last thing was that we wrote a note to FB.  She had just recently gone to her doctor and Rich went yesterday or the day before to HIS doctor, so we figured it’s been about a year we should make an appointment AND we also need to see her because of the pain in our elbows NOT going away.  BLAH!  The first question asked and answered was YES!  We can bring Dakota with us!  The bad part is that it will be two weeks before we can go in.  The appointment was set for Friday, April 17, @ 3:15 pm and we have to be there 15 minutes early and we’ll be seeing Dr. Albright, and we need to bring our driver’s license and proof of insurance – although – they’ve already called them to make sure we’re legit.  YAY we’re legit!!!

That was a big deal.  We really have to be hurting bad to agree to go in to see the doctor and we thought Dakota would be a stumbling block – We’re SOOOO grateful he can go with us.  Good Boy!

AND, since then – I read up J  We’ve got a load in the washer and one in the dryer, and we folded a small load that had been in the dryer, and we’re washing dishes, and we got another load ready for the washer and the dog has been fed and out, we had a snack and a fresh bottle of water.  It is now 10:46 pm and we’re doing great by domestic Goddess expectations!  OH and we turned away someone wanting to read to us about the Bible … Had to work hard getting out – well still working on it that we’re not going straight to hell.  *sigh*  Next?

Wow!  All three machines, running, the dog’s good – AND we took some medicine early for the pain … well have to say we’re good too, right?  Ok, I know next … what’s next.  Maybe we can strike some balance and write until about 2:30 pm – giving us about four hours, and then we’d give back 2 ½ hours to the dissociative ones doing PA work, and then they can have tonight too …

Hmm, that’s something interesting too.  Rich when he went to his doctors, she said that his shoulders were really tense.  And, then he told her about me and then she asked him if he wanted her to write a prescription that I massage his shoulders.  He’s SAYING it that way, but we aren’t real sure.  I’m sure he didn’t make it up, but it’s hitting hard the people that don’t want to go to bed at the same time as him – because it means being up another hour or two to massage him while he watches TV and we’re not on the computer.  I love my dear totally, but I guess we’ve been on the computer and he’s been doing that last hour or two on his own.  It seems kind of selfish, but while we were laying there last night some of the old feelings came back – you know you are giving someone a VERY nice massage and he’s appreciative, but he’s also more into the TV than you.  Last night when we stopped he said you used to go on for hours.  Then we reminded him we used to do it without the TV.  I don’t know when that became such a big transition, AND I do remember the part of getting the TV a year or two ago so we COULD give bed messages, but something has to be done, because the last thing I want to do naked is to watch Sherlock Holmes!  AND, that’s almost non-violent compared to some of the stuff he watches.  It makes us really jumpy and we’re having problems imagining how our sweetie could love so much killing people with all his good guy bad guy shows.  I know he’s not the only one or even only male doing it, but isn’t there an inherent problem with that?

We were watching before this last 6 weeks more of the dog whisperer and The Property Brothers, but then we don’t really feel like watching that either.  We’ll still watch once a week Dr. Pol and some of the light comedies like Big Bang, Moms, Mike and Molly and such.  Just they are all we want to watch AND just the new ones! 

Ok tv viewers nuf of that!  Pswhoo … We did a turnover with laundry in that we got a load TO the machine, got one into the washer, into the dryer, and through the folding hanging up process!  YAY!  But, is that TOUGH!  Lots of physical movement we’re not so good at … we have a water bottle here at the computer and one at folding counter.  We’ve still got THREE more loads to get through the washer, BUT we’ve gathered all the clothes together so everything is in the laundry bags.  Better pull the towels from the bathrooms too.  That be a good deal, right?  Feeling pretty good, but out of even laundry shape.  Let’s think of something easier.  So like what is happened in the last 6 weeks?  Is that right?  Have to go back to February 21rst.  Hmm almost SEVEN weeks Jiminy!
Hmm, we’re actually done with the list, but think we’re going to post in two parts to make a really good pictorial view of all this.  Thank GOODNESS we keep some notes of things going on in FB.

Better look back to FB.
  • ·         Dakota got a walk
  • ·         Thom Got engaged
  • ·         Thom got married to Cathy
  • ·         We were losing weight
  • ·         Got the certification for Dakota to go to the dog park, but haven’t been
  • ·         There was snow on the ground
  • ·         Got into the Quantified Self Movement (sorta out of it now)
  • ·         WAS using the treadmill – have to get back
  • ·         Put together the directions for the back of the two quilts to the girls
  • ·         Dogs quietly chilling, but putting on pounds L
  • ·         Winter was too long
  • ·         Wrote the Paper on “What I know about Multiplicity Today – February 24 – Day 55
  • ·         What – only 3 days in!??!
  • ·         Isa came for a sleepover while Maury and Ame took the Polar Plunge in Chicago’s Lake Michigan
  • ·         Maury and Ame dressed as Zombies
  • ·         Isa played with Dakota A LOT!
  • ·         Joe, Cari and Alex!!!! They all came over for dinner
  • ·         Seems we started to have laundry problems because we posted THIS!
  • ·         Went through Happy National Multiple Personality Day!
  • ·         Posted a SECOND commentary in the NEWS blog on March 3 – Day 62 on Billy Milligan and Leonardo DiCaprio with the latter starring in “A Crowded Room”
  • ·         Rich decided and we DID drive all the way from Chicago to Myrtle Beach SC to visit his aunt and uncle a few miles away in NC.
  • ·         We had a GREAT time! And was away for FIVE days!  WoHOO!!! OH AND we got sunburned!
  • ·         OK about THEN 3-16-15 Thom and Cathy were REALLY getting married!  She was absolutely gorgeous from the pictures we saw!
  • ·         See all along there really WAS a lot happening!
  • ·         THEN Isa AND Ame came back to stay about three days!
  • ·         And, THEN they left and Maury’s two dogs came to stay two days before we brought them to the doggie hotel while Maury and the girls were in Arkansas
  • ·         Then we had a quilt retreat and Joe ACTUALLY went with – sewed the bejeebers past us AND stayed for an overnight
  • ·         AND THEN that’s about it except to say we’ve been doing a LOT with the Plural Activism group.  In about one month – a little less – there have been TEN meetings.
  • ·         I’m the secretary and have been trying my best to keep up with things
  • ·         We wrote an outline that gave about 150-200 questions and statements of things that occurred to us and the other PA members when discussing the DiCaprio/Milligan (what has become a project)
  • ·         We condensed some of the main questions and incorporated it with Bloom’s Taxonomy
  • ·         We started a definition process of what “Healthy Multiples” mean
  • ·         We’ve met some really nice new people through PA
  • ·         We’ve helped put out a couple of surveys
  • ·         We made a master list of about 400 + people (mostly multiples) to send one of the surveys
  • ·         We’ve come up with something we’re calling “The Multiple Conversation” (TMC) which is the biggest of all our big projects.  Maybe after we skim a few of the other things, that’s the part we’ll get back to

·         OK OK UNCLE – that’s what we now say about the Domestic Goddess things.  Maybe we’ve just been a little too busy.  AND, we’ve continued to see Dr. Marvin at his office or on the phone and did our best to keep up with Linda through IMs.  Hmm, I think if we look back – we’ll REALLY get a good concept of REALLLY how busy things have been


Ahh ... we're getting a little break ... it is now 2:30 pm, but because we've been SOOO good with both writing AND laundry we get some more time.  I think Kelsie needs a break because we haven't had a lot of motivation to be working on the conversation.  I know about it obviously, but my heart is better into blogging than charts!

Here are our today pictures - think we'll post to FB hehehe - I know not so secretive about laundry day - we're so proud to be taking part of GETTING IT DONE!!!

So, this is our laundry set-up .. it's 2:30 pm and there's one load left to be washed, one load in the washer and one load in the dryer - that means about dinner time we'll be just finishing up.  Thinking Rich is going to be VERY happy!  BUT, he needs some new summer shirts! 

AND, we forgot about this ... Rich will be out in the boat tomorrow - he's going out I think to check out all the equipment for the first time this spring.  US?  We'll be home doing the steaming shirts part - BUT got so much hung up fast - not a REAL lot to steam :)

AND??? If everything goes well and we can handle being outside, Rich is going to take me and Dakota for a boat ride.  He SAYS he's not going fishing, but we know better.  This year he finally fixed the electronic in the boat so that I could be using my little computer - SOOO he figures he'll get me out more this year.  You know how we might go - no computer, no Ann.  AND, it will be a figuring out day as to checking out Dakota's sea legs.  I'm guessing at 2 1/2 years of age (we got him 7-8 months ago), but we're thinking he's really not been out on a boat.  Hoping it's not tooo much.