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Sunday, July 23, 2017

07-23-17 Happy Birthday continues ... AND it includes a son!


Saturday, July 22, 2017 @ 5:08AM
Good morning.  This is us.  AND, we have a son here!  FINALLY!  Well, mostly.  Maury came in yesterday and we had dinner, and talked a bit, but then he went out to a movie – he’s a BIG movie person, and then he probably went out, not sure … but we were FOR SURE … in bed.  Hehe.  Just know that with him in the house, his dogs are quiet, and we’re just as happy as hell, they’re here!  Should admit, we haven’t had to do much so far, except the housework part and unloading dishes.  Rich did all the cooking – we had steak, potatoes (Maury), Corn on the cob, and coleslaw.  AND, between both – they’ve let the dogs out.  The nicest thing is to wake up in the morning and now, he’s just in the next room over.  We’re in stealth mode … well not really, these keys are clunky, but ALMOST stealth mode hehe.
Maury is already 36 … so he is getting up there giggling – well not TOO much, but funny to think of his age at this point.  Our inclination of course is to think motherly thoughts like worrying about him crossing the puddle in front of our driveway.  NATURALLY, he’s able to handle that sort of thing now … Just, again, mother thoughts.  I guess it’s worry.  Like worrying if he is going to get enough sleep.  He’s been taking care of himself for more years than I have taken care of him.  Just, you know … Mom you got to let it go.
He’s thinking naturally, we’re old people.  It was funny last night before he went out.  We had watched a taped Steven Colbert show from last night, and then it was over, and Rich was just flipping through channels, and then something went wrong and there was a sex-show on TV.  Oh Lord, was it funny.  Maury was laughing up a storm because Rich was having trouble getting it off the scream, and we’re not sure if somehow, he paid for the damn thing flipping around, and we had gone into one of our goofier parts and was pretty hysterical in our own right like yelling out … Rich, c’mon turn that thing off … my boy probably hasn’t seen that sort of thing before. 
WHICH to be perfectly clear, is PROBABLY not true.  Rich was just dumbfounded, and having difficulty responding.  This probably only took 45 seconds, but it seemed to last a lifetime, AND of course, Maury got it all recorded and sent to snapshot, in less time than an instant.  Yah … Maury … Yah.  “Kids,” they are good at that kind of thing.  *Sigh*
OK … still on page ONE??! (460 words).  It’s going to be one of those.  OK, OK … take your minds out of the gutter!
Moving on …
There are no plans for the weekend, except I’m sure Maury is going to be moving on almost as soon as he’s up.  Maybe he’ll eat one of Rich’s omelets.  I don’t know … I do know he’ll have to wake up to let his dogs out, but we don’t know if he’ll be up then or go back to bed.  He’s keeping them calm in there now, which is good, because we opened the fridge for some of last night’s coleslaw.  I know … our eating is way off she thinks, as she remembers Austin’s ice cream he left behind.  *Sigh*
Lots of sighing here.  That’s probably not a good thing.
No, let us NOT talk about food.  You should … NO, I SHOULD NOT!  Uh-huh.  Damn and a few more expletives that have been censored. NOOO!
What about food?  HUH?!  We’ve been eating more … you know that, right?  YES, WHAT OF IT!  I see you’ve gone back to caps.  SOMEthing YOU!  Ok, fine … we’re not ready yet.  We’ll just ease into that later.
We’ll just finish the coleslaw quietly.  HMPF!
We’re having heated-up coffee from yesterday … OK, we’ve had better, and that’s off-set by a sparkly glass of diet coke on ice.  After today, well … mostly after today, but some after the quilters and we get together, but soon we’ll be over our birthday and getting back to things.
Hey!  We’re starting to think more of the future.  Is our umm problem over?  Haven’t had that talk … OK, maybe later, but maybe?  Flash storms come and go quickly … we’re thinking … shhh ok, we’re not thinking … again, moving on.  People are touchy here this morning! 
What’s a safe topic.  Hmm, maybe we could touch on a few things before all this other stuff happened (see yesterday’s blog entry).  One of the thing of high value was that we had had a very nice birthday party.  Joe, Cari, Alex, Austin, and of course, Rich and us were there.  There were a few presents exchanged and we LOVED THEM.  That happened before I knew it and then fortunately was put aside.  I just don’t know how to relate to getting them.  And, then later, we had cake, but people skipped the happy birthday song … they were just in other places when the waitress had come with the cake.  That was not a BAD part though hehe.
Austin did a lot of talking to Joe, as expected hehe.  We did a lot of talking with Cari and watching of Alex.  He’s fascinating.  He lives in a private world, we’re not allowed into much yet, even though he’s now three.  Toward the end of the evening when people are all standing around giving hugs, we asked him if he was going to give us a hug, and he opened his arms and gave us a GREAT one!  OH man that hit the sweet-spot!  Most of the evening he’d been busy with his hat pulled low over his eyes.  I LOVED my birthday hug!
Rich was the most excellent host, and helped us through times of getting a little confused by everything, and of COURSE, Dakota rose to the occasion.  He LOVES sitting with Alex while he’s eating.  Not as much anymore – there used to be a lot of treats under his chair, but you couldn’t pull anything over on Dakota.  He knew we wouldn’t like him moving from his spot, so we watched him crawl … like a soldier under barbed wire.  He DID make it to his prime location.
After dinner, we had a nice car trip home, but I realized that is the time Austin likes talking to Rich, though as it turned-out … Austin talked to Rich past the time I went to bed early.  Not going into that yet, but it did us a LOT of good to know that Austin and Rich respect each other so much.  Austin is like a gifted conversationalist. 
Later, we talked to him too, but it was the next day, and then Thursday.  One of the things that Austin and I decided – well, decided as much as Rich SAYS it’s ok, but we were planning a bit into the next trip.  We were thinking of going to Green Bay, WI over Labor Day. Naturally, we need Austin’s Mom to say it is OK too.  I don’t know how we became “traveling Grandparents,” but we DID and I LOVE IT!
In two weeks, we’ll be traveling with Rich and Austin AND Dakota to St. Louis, MO.  It was one of Austin’s destinations.  Everything there is AS planned, though we should be pulling those details together.  We just checked while Austin was here, it was close to him leaving, and they are right in our Evernote planner, as we thought.  Just should rustle them in our mind.  I’m pretty sure we booked our hotel, and we booked Saturday night’s event at the western night dinner theater.  I think we’re seeing a mystery.  And THEN!  There is the City Museum. Not as sure about that one, but think we’re going to go in and park ourselves while Austin explores.  Hehe.
Whoops!  That was a change of pace.  Maury and the dogs are up.  We didn’t see that happening until it was down upon us.  He took the dogs out, and then maybe he’s going back to bed.  They all woke up exactly at 6AM, so we weren’t sure if someone had set an alarm.  Maury came in quickly, and then went out again.  He said something about his dogs not wanting to go out … I don’t know if it’s raining – might be.  Periodically we hear thunder sounds. 
That was it … Max had wound himself on the post out there, and Maury had needed his shoes.  When Dakota used the chain, we put up a little guard between that post and the air conditioner – a twenty-second fix.  We don’t usually think about sort of stuff.  Normally, we just let Dakota out … he goes in the rain if he must go, and we let him go freely, and he returns the way he is supposed to. 
Oh dear.  Maury came in and very seriously told me that Andy was in an accident.  My grandson is ok.  But, he got hit by a car as he walked home from work.  He has a concussion.  And, we’re thinking that was the worst of it.  BUT, that is bad.  Maury found out that it had happened a short time before his movie was over … and they said that Andy was ok, but staying overnight.  They told him not to come in because Andy didn’t want the extra going on.  He said he was up off and on all night.  It is one of the most terrible things to know your child was in danger, and you weren’t there to protect them. 
Andy is 16, and Maury said he was worried, because he’d had a few other concussions – both the other two from Joe’s Karate.  The first was years ago, but the second was just two months ago during a competition.  We had remembered when Joe was in competition and had gotten knocked out and received a concussion.  No parent should see his child hurt.  AND, you certainly don’t go through it without being in shock. 
I don’t know how long he will stay.  I know his mind is focused on all that.  I heard a few moments ago, he was back on the phone.  He had gone back to his room, because Lady was too much for me and she wanted my attention. 
Hmm, some two-handed petting, but it wasn’t too bad.  First, we were petting Dakota, and then we were petting Max, and then Dakota went to our right side, so we could pet both at the same time … Smart dogs!  I petted for about 30-seconds, and then let them go and they both laid down.  Max barked at our 6:30AM chime, and then he continued and I realized that he was having trouble seeing.  So, we turned on the kitchen lights, and the light out in the sunroom.  And, so he’s since settled down.  He’s at the back door looking out, so we’re figuring next, that he doesn’t know if Lady and Maury have left him.  I don’t think he hears Maury’s muffled sound from the bedroom.  I think he really thinks Maury has left him here.  That has happened before.  Same thing happened … at first, he just laid by the door.
Whoops, he started to whine … so, we did the next easy thing.  We brought him to Maury’s room AND all is now fine!  Hehe Maury has BOTH his dogs under control now.  I think it might be a very long week when Maury leaves his dogs here mid-September.  They are a BUNDLE to handle.  They, usually calm down, but first thing in the morning, Lady DEFINETLY wants attention, AND Max does whine at the door.  I thought before that it was to go out, and it still might be, but it might be because, he’s waiting for Maury to come home.  Dakota sure does love to have them here.
There was one-time last night … well Lady wasn’t being as playful as she had been before, and Dakota was trying his hardest to engage here.  He did his streak-lightening thing from one end of the house to another – about six times, before he gave-up.  He was SOOO fast, but Lady was like … eh?   Max will have nothing to do with that kind of behavior.  He’s more like – Hey can’t you get your puppy in order!? Hehe Dogs will be dogs.
We have about 17 minutes, and then it will be time to feed Dakota.  We’ll feed him separately from Maury’s dogs.  Maury asked if he had eaten already, so we set him straight giggling.  They all DO expect to do some eating here.  We serve VERY good Kibble!
Hmm, think Maury is off the phone now and he’s playing with his dogs.  Hehe – he teased poor Lady for not being the shiniest penny on the block.  But, she’s all heart.  Dakota is laying down next to me.  He didn’t wiggle a smidge to hear the 6:45AM chime.  BUT, wait until he hears the next one at 7AM … He LOVES breakfast group THE MOST!  And, then we’ll be able to take our medicine.  We’re a bit needy this morning.  There’s a lot happening in the wings.
So, 15 minutes, I’m trying not to think of Andy.  I know he’s fine … just it’s one of those things.  Perhaps, this time a Grandma thing.  We are worrying about him, but as well, we’re worrying about our son.  We want to know he’s going to be OK with what’s happening.  I guess he didn’t get the message about Andy until ten minutes after he’d gotten here after the movie which is like six to seven minutes away.  He said he decided not to wake me, because he didn’t want to upset me.  I know we were sitting very still hearing him say all the words, but we were looking for the set of them that said at the end – this was the result, and he’s ok.  That’s all.  We just wanted to know he was ok.
We asked about Isa, but she’s staying over at a friend’s.  I think, she might be most excited.  She worries about her brother.  And, I know that Maury talked to both his ex and her husband, so he’s good with all that.  He couldn’t tell me how the ex was doing.  It was like it wasn’t registering with him.  OK OK … let’s move on here girls, Hmm?
Eight-minutes to happy hour.  Hmm, I thought I heard something FINALLY from the Rich-camp!  AHA!  Now, I heard bed-creaking sounds.  Maybe he’ll get up and make REAL coffee, and then make sure that Grandma is ok.  That would be a good deal, right?
@ 8:05AM We’re back for a little bit … the guys are both up and BUSY.  Maury is on his phone and over-watching TV, and Rich has on his fishy shows.  It’s down to the point where Maury is making his own breakfast and Rich doesn’t seem to mind *Sigh* Maury brought his own meat (leftover) and there are six eggs left, so he said with a little onion, he will make his own omelet, which was ok with Rich.  Not sure what Rich will make for himself, AND Rich isn’t a big make breakfast over the weekend person, so we just made oatmeal.  Usually, it’s for lunch, but it will make do.
Whoops, Maury just found out our Internet is down.  We had just checked it.  It’s been down all morning, because we had heavy rain.  I think he was on his hotspot before. Maybe he is near extra costs, because he was hesitant to use it.  I think it’s not fast enough for the videos he wanted to load. 
Hmm, Rich is in the kitchen.  I think he’s just getting stuff out for Maury though.  Sure, isn’t very enthusiastic this morning.  Ahh, Rich is having toast.  Maury could have some of that … yup-yup sporting FOUR-WHOLE slices at a time hehe!
Maury and Rich are talking about Maury’s Dunkirk movie.  He’s talking about the loudness of the movie and that it is very good at that.  Lots of guns and airplanes.  About 4 1/3 stars.  Maury is a movie aficionado.  Ahh, he’s moved on to omelets.  Now they are talking about the rain and gutters.  Eh, not so cool. 
I don’t know if we should turn away and type, ok, not too much focused typing.  Maury just reenacted losing his finger while cutting onions.  NO, this is NOT something a Mom would like to see.  Bad enough, that her guest is making his own breakfast.  OK, putting that squarely on Rich … I wouldn’t know how to cook for my son if it jumped up and bit me.  LOTS OF *SIGHING* They are talking whether Maury should use oil … Rich says no.  WOW!  There is whistling happening in my kitchen WHEN have I EVER heard that??!  Rich not so much of a whistler.
What’s next … obviously, we’re not doing any REAL focusing … Just hanging around inconspicuously waiting for the next interesting thing hehe.
I find it perfectly comfortable to be writing in our blog, AND with oatmeal with our son here.  I AM his mother hehe ok, we’re having some silly fun here.  I LOVE to see and hear my kids.  I’m one of those mothers, who believe their children keep getting better and better.  That goes TWICE as much for Grandchildren! 
It smells good in here already.  OK sure the cinnamon in my oatmeal is good, but using ONIONS!??  Rich doesn’t do that.  Everyone is focusing on their own stuff.  Rich’s fishy-guy is telling him which color worms to use.  Yeah sure … we could be interested in that?!  NOOO, I don’t think so. 
I think Maury was mostly out of the house by the time we became a regular blogger.  He stayed with us a little as he grew into adulthood, but he was just between places.  Rich is thinking of visiting his Mom. 
@ 9:44AM We’re back … again.  Rich is at his Mom’s and Maury is at his Mom’s, but he’s napping on the couch.  All it took was that I said once … “Oh BTW, this is what we’re doing …” His eyes closed, and then he said he was listening, and then we stopped talking and he fell asleep.  I don’t think we got out our first sentence.  So much for mothering!  I guess, we can lay claim for giving him a safe place to sleep.  We’ll let it go at that.  Hey!  If Alexa is back, that means we have Internet!
@ 3:10PM … OK.  REALLY back.  Oh forgot medicine again HOLD ON!
Back-back.  Maury left about a half an hour ago.   Rich allowed me about 10-15 minutes to talk, but he’s been droopy drawers all day.  He went out to see his mother, then he went into the bedroom (Maury and I were in the living room), and then Rich read a little and then SLEPT!  Then after Maury was getting ready to go, Rich came out for a late lunch, and then to watch more fishy shows.  THAT’s what he was doing before seeing his mother this morning.  BUT, he said, he had ALL this work he had to do and that he wasn’t going to have a moment to spare.  BUT, we can’t get him to talk to us.  He’s just disinterested and “dulled.”  Trying to let that go.  Just it’s hard.
It’s after 3PM now, so we’re having our protein shake.  We had Maury’s leftover steak and potato for lunch.  I know potato … some low carb diet, right?  BUT, we’d had oatmeal for breakfast instead of lunch, so not sure what to do there.  BUT, that part is done.
I can’t say all what Maury and us talked about, but there is one thing we want to say for sure.  Our Grandson, Andy got in an accident.  Oh, just told, we talked about that already.  It’s just been the upset of the day.  He is doing better though.  They did a test and found he’d sprained his ankle and there are bumps and bruises, but no stitches, but he had had a very bad concussion.  He’s been dismissed from the hospital this last hour.  He’s with his mother this weekend.  Not much Maury can do, but they had a long talk – between he and Andy and I’m sure everything is now MORE in order.  They both had a lot to say.
I do want to say ONE more thing about my Grandson!  This is good news, not the bad stuff.  He earned an internship at the art museum.  It was for Juniors in high school for four hours every Saturday.  They took ten of the forty some applicants and he was one.  We’re not going to talk about the worry of him traveling by himself at 16 years of age from Des Plaines to downtown Chicago, but beside that concern, man-o-man, we can’t be MORE excited for him.  He likes to draw.  It makes us feel even MORE happy that last year we’d given him the expensive markers, my sister had given us.  Just seemed he could do so much more for him.
I know it’s petty, just we have done so little for our grandchildren, and they are turning out to be such wonderful souls!  Just prouder than a peacock for Andy!  AND, one more word of thanks going to his parents for trusting him with this kind of HUGE responsibility and honor.  Congrats Mom and Dad!
Not much on Isa … we only know that she was at a friend’s house on an overnight.  I did push that Maury assure she knew what was going on.  I’m very sure that Isa would be concerned that her brother was in an accident that made him stay overnight in the hospital.  Isa’s big accident in life … she’s eleven, was that she broke her arm … kids are so gosh darn breakable!  You must be careful ALL the time!
We had some GREAT conversations with Maury that stretched in a LOT of directions.  I think one of the highlights was learning about dating life in the 2017’s!  We’re not going into details, but WOW!  Ok, enough said there!
The other big attraction was in watching the animals relate to one another.  Maury’s two golden retrievers LOVE Dakota, and he them.  Dakota had to push his cousins to play, but eventually, they gave in – though not as much as we remember from before.  Dakota is half collie and half golden retriever, so size and temperament, they are all a TERRIFIC set of dogs.
We liked too that too, that Dakota could go off-chain when the other dogs were out – on-chain, so that the time getting the dogs through the bathroom wasn’t so much.  That was a good deal.  We had Maury put the little fences back up by the air conditioner and Dish satellite, so that they didn’t get caught up on the satellite post, so that turned out well too.  They were GREAT dogs!  Just LOVE to see them together, and Maury was very positive on being more assured of them coming out mid-September.  We signed on to taking care of them while Maury is in Vegas.  We will have them for five days.  It will be a LOT, but it’s all worthwhile too.  I love Maury’s dogs.  AND, I KNOW they love us too!
That’s some of the highlights.  Maury did give us more chance to talk about what was happening in our general live, and he let us talk about what happened with BJ this week.  He knows BJ from long before things had become problematic.  He listened without too much comment.  I’m glad he let us talk about it.  It’s still in our mind, but over the last 24 hours or so, has taken a back-seat to our excitement of having Maury come out for the overnight.  He’s a BLESSING!
We’re a little discombobulated with the time.  Maybe because it’s just 3:36PM, but we seem to have put in a full day.  We’re a bit tired, but we don’t want to lose time to being able to write.  Not sure about what next, but know if our fingers and minds can do it, we’re here 😊 Hmm, I bet it would be nice to turn some music on.  We’ve been listening to Rich’s fishing in the background, but it is doing nothing for us.  He he – just caught a view of Dakota.  He is SOOO tired, but lying down next to us.  He’s such a good buddy!
Ahh, the music turned automatically to “Relaxation Radio” on our Pandora – through the earphones.  The first song is Fur Elise.  It’s one of our favorites.  Makes us feel good already.  We just took our calming medicine about twenty minutes ago, so maybe that will kick in too. We’re just a bit on the hyper side.  Shhh, calm down!  Shhh.  You can do it.
@ 9:02PM

Self-Regulation and Ego Control 08-08-16
By Edward R. Hirt, Joshua John Clarkson (Kindle Edition)
$79.96 - 462 pages

Affect Dysregulation and Disorders of the Self 11-15-13
By Allan N. Schore (Kindle Edition)
$26.49 – 403 pages

Affect Regulation and the Repair of the Self 11-15-13
By Allan N. Schore (Kindle Edition)
$17.60 – 384 pages

Motivation and Self-Regulated Learning:  Theory, Research, and Applications 08-06-12
By Dale H. Schunk, Barry J. Zimmerman (Kindle Edition)
$47.16 – 430 pages

The Science of the Art of Psychotherapy 04-02-12
By Allan N. Schore (Kindle Edition)
$27.99 – 473 pages

Affect Regulation, Mentalization, and the Development of the Self 09-07-10
By Peter Fonagy, Gyorgy Gergely, Elliot Jurist, and Mary Target (Kindle Edition)
$15.99 – 592 pages

$215.19 😊

BUT, we returned the Amazon Look.  If she won’t work, we don’t need her.  BOOKS?  Eh – they are a good deal!

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